Comments on: don't crush me

Question: don't crush me

Anonymous — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:17:05 -0800

Help me. I have a crush. Already.

So for the few familiar with my recent saga, I met a nice lady at a show last weekend. She invited me over for dinner the next night, and I'm all thinkin', 'yeah, action!'. We had dinner and played each other some of our songs - sort of date-ish. Then we sat around and told our stories.

Then she took me 'home' (the friends I've been staying with). No hugs, kisses, just some warm company and what I think was flirting.

She emails me the next day, asks me to call her, and I do. When I talk to her she asks if my the house I'm moving into is ready yet (it isn't), then asks if I wanna stay at her place (I do). She picks me up and apologizes for having to get up early the next morning. We stay up for a few hours talking - nothing physical. She then makes out a bed for me, sprinkles it with lavander, makes certain I know I'm welcome and comfortable, and then she goes to bed.

Without revealing too many more details of her life, she'd older than I, creative as hell, into a lot of the same weird art & music as I, and beautiful. Really, *really* beautiful.

So I call her today - after she's gone to work, called *me* several times, given me a key, invited me to stay through the weekend, and told me to come and go as I please - intending to just air it out. I thank her for the offer and the niceness and start to tell her that I can't possibly stay another night or I'll end up making an ass of myself. She's perceptive, after all, she should pick up on what I'm coming to, right? Nope. She thinks 'ass of myself' means 'get drunk and get all weepy and sensitive-boy on her'. Dammit.

I just got out of a relationship. I don't want anything but fun, and - trust me on this - there's girls I know in this place that could and pretty much have offered me just that. She's just too much for me to take. I'm not in love, but goddamn if I'm not slipping into crushland.

What the hell do I do? Let it ride? Blurt it out? Just grab her and give her an item smooch? Help me, great ones.

By: curtm

curtm — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:20:42 -0800

I vote for the item smooch.

By: metaculpa

metaculpa — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:22:46 -0800

What's an item smooch?

By: lunkfish

lunkfish — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:23:33 -0800

Shag it.

By: Item

Item — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:24:59 -0800

Really, what've I got to lose, right?

Jesus she's beautiful. Did I mention that? 'Cause she is.

By: leafwoman

leafwoman — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:27:04 -0800

Is she from Nigeria?

By: Item

Item — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:27:51 -0800

Canada, actually.

By: tiamat

tiamat — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:29:04 -0800

Canadian girls kick ass.

By: myodometer

myodometer — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:29:26 -0800

Egad, kiss the woman already!

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:29:41 -0800

Is she Hindi?

Anyway, what have you got to lose? Beautiful, friendly, fun to be with, and if you don't act fast, she might slip into the "friend" zone.

By: nomad

nomad — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:35:20 -0800

I vote for smooching her item! Like Astro said, this is only good while supplies last.

By: lbergstr

lbergstr — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:37:03 -0800

Spring is here, eh?

By: lbergstr

lbergstr — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:37:24 -0800

(that "eh" has nothing to do with the canada thing, i swear)

By: LarryC

LarryC — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:43:54 -0800

If you don't kiss her, you'll always wonder what would have happened if you did.

By: Bryan Behrenshausen

Bryan Behrenshausen — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:47:02 -0800

Before you kiss her, ask yourself: Is she beautiful?

By: orthogonality

orthogonality — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:52:06 -0800

As John le Carre observed, "Betrayal can only happen if you love."

By: teece

teece — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:55:01 -0800

What the hell is wrong with you?

Beautiful, interesting, throwing herself at you?

Come on. Be up front, tell her you're just having fun for now. But I mean, seriously, come on.

By: adamrice

adamrice — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:55:45 -0800

Step away from the keyboard and kiss her now, and kiss her like you mean it, not tentatively.

I've made the mistake of not kissing the girl when there were neon signs flashing KISS HER YOU MORON. Don't be like me.

By: gregariousrecluse

gregariousrecluse — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 15:59:02 -0800

I'd hit it. Then again, I never did have very good judgement.

By: soma lkzx

soma lkzx — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:00:40 -0800

tell her you just want to be friends,

then when she comes posting to askme about it you can propose. and it will be LOVEly.

Astro Zombie: Hindu, beautiful, intelligent but older will have no takers.

By: CRM114

CRM114 — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:06:07 -0800

I think adamrice nailed it.

By: lonefrontranger

lonefrontranger — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:19:12 -0800

kiss her you fool!!

good grief

By: XiBe

XiBe — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:21:54 -0800

What, you're still reading this ? Go, and enjoy it all you can !

By: oddman

oddman — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:37:28 -0800

I swear to god if you are reading this instead of kissing her, someone from Ask.Me will go over and beat you senseless.

We do that.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:40:08 -0800

She then makes out a bed for me, sprinkles it with lavander

Oh .... my .... god.

Do her or I will !

By: meerkatty

meerkatty — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:41:27 -0800

Oh god, crushes are such fun. Kiss her. Buy her flowers. Kiss her again. Yay!

By: matildaben

matildaben — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:42:14 -0800

Item. Man. This is total Metachat material. Come on over and talk to us about it.

Oh, and we'll probably all tell you to kiss her you fool.

By: samh23

samh23 — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:47:25 -0800

GO FOR IT

I have taken advice similar to adamrice's, and even in cases where it didn't work out, I'm still glad I did it!

By: rdr

rdr — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:53:33 -0800

Is this a question or is it just preemptory bragging?

By: Loto

Loto — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:55:44 -0800

SHTHIMNSHA.

By: jlkr

jlkr — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:10:35 -0800

Dear Ghod. Kiss her, you fool!

(dear me. I mean, I know some dense geeks, but this is... really bad.) (girl in the green, btw.)

Although, I must say that she could be a little more forward. :) Given a similar situation, I'd have probably cracked by now and kissed you myself. (But then, I've known some pretty dense geeks, and have long since given up on "proper" behaviour.)

She knows that you're rebounding, yes? I suspect that she probably knows what you meant when you said "make an ass of myself".

By: Hogshead

Hogshead — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:11:13 -0800

One more time, for the people:

"Better to regret something you did do then to regret something you didn't."

Me, I still regret an evening in New Zealand in late 1989 for something I didn't do.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:13:17 -0800

Huh, is your last name actualy "item"?

By: matildaben

matildaben — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:15:00 -0800

MetaChat

By: ersatzkat

ersatzkat — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:21:18 -0800

I agree with LarryC (hey! that rhymes!). Do it, or wonder forever "what if"...

By: hooray

hooray — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:34:57 -0800

*mmmmmmmmmmmmmwah*

You're never going to know until you in for a kiss! Do it already!

By: Miko

Miko — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 17:51:43 -0800

she could be a little more forward

Huh? She slickly connived him into moving in with her so fast it was all a blur! She calls him all day long! She sprinkled his sheets with lavender! How much forward de we need to be, boys? Item, it's your turn!

But yes, do tell her you're just out for fun, so she doesn't start hoping it's more. She might anyway, but at least you'll have put it out there.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:03:20 -0800

Is sprinking a guy's bed with lavender some new thing? 'cause it's sounds girly and not guy sexy at all. Really, what's the point?

By: jlkr

jlkr — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:06:11 -0800

Miko, you missed the smiley (of the ironic "I-mean-the-exact-opposite-of-what-I-typed" variety). I hope. (I was being a silly wench with lots of experience with geeks. I really, really, really, hope that you didn't think I was truly serious.)

By: dhartung

dhartung — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:27:39 -0800

Ask politely for a brisk rogering.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:31:41 -0800

KISS HER YOU FOOL OR I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SEXUALLY VIOLATE YOUR STILL-BEATING HEART IN THE MOST SHOCKING WAYS YOU DAMN, DAMN FOOL

By: fermion

fermion — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:36:49 -0800

Make with the snogging, already.

I realize this is entirely redundant; I just wanted to point out that this whole thread made me goofily and sentimentally happy, and you should kiss the lady so you and she can achieve the same state.

By: toastchee

toastchee — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:46:56 -0800

what loquacious said.

By: Miko

Miko — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:54:12 -0800

I really, really, really, hope that you didn't think I was truly serious.

It's that kind of subtle signal us geeks always miss....*sigh*

By: crapples

crapples — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:06:14 -0800

I think you should wait a little while and see what she does next. Give it at least a month so you can observe her behavior long enough to establish a meaningful average response to you. You don't want to blow it and ruin what could be a good friendship.

.... Just kidding. I just thought this thread was so redundant that it needed some diverse opinions.

Obviously you should kiss her.

By: ikkyu2

ikkyu2 — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:15:53 -0800

You must be pretty hot stuff - they're just not letting you sit on the shelf.

Turn your dick off for a second and try to consider whether or not you would like a little "shelf time." There's no sound argument for or against; it's about your feelings and needs, and getting them met.

Then do what you're going to do anyway. Have fun!

By: tkolar

tkolar — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:27:19 -0800

Good lord, is there some sort of treatment program we can get item into? Maybe something with electroshock?

Go enjoy yourself, silly person.

By: cellphone

cellphone — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:44:58 -0800

Run away. She's a future stalker.

By: Iamtherealme

Iamtherealme — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:49:36 -0800

Brandon Blatcher (and anyone who's wondering) - lavender is one of the aromatherapy scents that is supposed to relax you and aide in sleep.
That said - kiss her!

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 19:49:53 -0800

RUN! RUN AWAY!

My god, people, this woman invited him over after one night of visiting him, sprinkled gd lavender all over his bed, and gave him the key to the house!

I'm seeing horror movie potential here.

but kiss her before you run away. just make sure the door is unlocked, 'cause we all know the knife and screechy woo-woo-woo soundtrack are all gonna start shortly after the kiss.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 20:08:54 -0800

Stop being so gay.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 20:27:27 -0800

Report back. And, if she's beautiful, include mixed media.

By: carmina

carmina — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 20:34:08 -0800

crushland is such a small place... I meet friends already...

Do it man, 'cause I can't (sigh....)

By: black8

black8 — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 20:38:29 -0800

Seconding:
Canadian girls kick ass.

And yeah, dude. Go for it!

By: Justinian

Justinian — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 21:50:49 -0800

In summary; if you don't kiss her, we will.

By: ashbury

ashbury — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 22:06:24 -0800

I kissed her and it was soooo worth it! Trust me, after kissing her I felt so good, like a saint, like a breath of fresh air, like the tastiest glass of water, like a million bucks, at peace with myself and the world, as though I could fix all problems with a gesture, oh yeah....that was one good kiss. If you kiss her, I will personally come after you and hack you into little pieces because she's mine. Mine. MINE. MINE!

kill kill kill killkillkillkillkill

Yeah, I'm okay with it now. You go ahead and kiss her. It's sooo worth it.

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 05:23:01 -0800

item: That was one hell of a write-up. I was excited, and I'm not in to females!

So long as she isn't in to ritual sacrifice, go for it!

By: JanetLand

JanetLand — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 05:27:48 -0800

Turn on the stereo, and ask her to dance. I'm an older woman, and I'm a sucker for that.

By: zonkout

zonkout — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 07:06:43 -0800

Didja get the kiss, Chris?

By: yankeefog

yankeefog — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 07:39:26 -0800

I think you should kiss her.

I realize that you don't need to be told that yet again, but now this thread will show up on my My Comments page, so I'll get to see the update when you post it.

By: found missing

found missing — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 09:20:56 -0800

Before you kiss her, ask yourself: What is that big red sore on her lip?

By: jasondigitized

jasondigitized — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 12:29:12 -0800

I had a similar situation like yourself with a stunning, artsy, older woman. Within 4 days she invited me to meet her at a 5* hotel for the day and evening. I ran like hell. In my case it was the best move I ever made. I came to find out she's as crazy as a monkey f*cking a football. In your case, I would just say tread lightly. Lavender? You sure that wasn't some wild-ass voodoo potion?

By: Justinian

Justinian — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 13:53:34 -0800

Yeah, there seem to be a lot of stunning, artsy, older women who are crazy as a monkey f*cking a football. But I still say go for it; life is short, play hard.

By: Item

Item — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 14:29:53 -0800

All updates will over in Metachat. Sorry - I kinda remember drunkenly telling her about MeFi and though I don't think she'll see tthis, uh, yeah.

Carry on.

By: Item

Item — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 14:34:43 -0800

And no, there hasn't been a kiss yet. Just more what-I-pray-to-be-flirting and a lot of silliness.

You guys rock, by the way. Now move along over to MeCha and let's make this thing become a part of internet history.

By: Item

Item — Mon, 13 Mar 2006 17:05:42 -0800

Oooh! Update!

I have a new friend. That is all, and dammit if I'm not happy as hell about it.

By: kgn2507

kgn2507 — Wed, 15 Mar 2006 15:13:35 -0800

Good for you item. You are very cute. I know you were worried about her reading this, but had she, she couldn't have helped being as taken with you as we are here at Mefi.

By: greycap

greycap — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 09:17:04 -0800

Hurrah! Seeing this follow-up made me go all warm and fuzzy. I love it when a plan comes together...

By: Item

Item — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 04:31:53 -0800

Fruit loops.

Fast 'n furious friendship fell fast.

's okay, though, as I've met other fish in the shallow sea.