Is “Guts” the book too old for my kid & other anxiety book recommendatio
November 9, 2019 3:44 PM Subscribe
My 4 yo saw the book Guts today at target and fixated on it; I want to give him language to talk about his anxiety but I don’t want to feed / seed it either. Is the book too old for him?
And what other books would you recommend for parenting an anxious kid?
My 4yo has some sensory issues, is bright, and cripplingly reserved in new social situations. Clings to his one friend at preschool and has an awful day if that kid isn’t there. Won’t talk to new kids even if they are warm and outgoing and completely safe and talk to him first. Won’t budge at birthday parties unless he knows every single kid. (Eventually warms up after 45min and lots of parental coaching). Even seeing his own friend (who graduated to kindergarten) after a month absence leaves him reserved. I’m nervous for when he goes to kindergarten next year... everyone will be new and he will flip out. He also seems to gravitate towards kids who put out negative energy... like he kinda wants a fight. The nice confident outgoing kids leave him withdrawing and even worse, he openly criticizes them.
Anyways he fixated on the book like it seemed to speak to him (we briefly read the part where she eats kimchi and gets farty but is embarrassed about it). I love when he loves books and want to get it for him so we can open up the conversation but I don’t want him to learn to be more anxious from it, since he’s completely influenced by those around him.
What books can I get for him, and for myself as a parent to get strategies on how to help him deal.
Thanks metafilter. I’m nervous and out of my comfort range and only a so-so parent at best.
My 4yo has some sensory issues, is bright, and cripplingly reserved in new social situations. Clings to his one friend at preschool and has an awful day if that kid isn’t there. Won’t talk to new kids even if they are warm and outgoing and completely safe and talk to him first. Won’t budge at birthday parties unless he knows every single kid. (Eventually warms up after 45min and lots of parental coaching). Even seeing his own friend (who graduated to kindergarten) after a month absence leaves him reserved. I’m nervous for when he goes to kindergarten next year... everyone will be new and he will flip out. He also seems to gravitate towards kids who put out negative energy... like he kinda wants a fight. The nice confident outgoing kids leave him withdrawing and even worse, he openly criticizes them.
Anyways he fixated on the book like it seemed to speak to him (we briefly read the part where she eats kimchi and gets farty but is embarrassed about it). I love when he loves books and want to get it for him so we can open up the conversation but I don’t want him to learn to be more anxious from it, since he’s completely influenced by those around him.
What books can I get for him, and for myself as a parent to get strategies on how to help him deal.
Thanks metafilter. I’m nervous and out of my comfort range and only a so-so parent at best.
Best answer: It’s a bit advanced for him (chapter book) but A Boy Called Bat is a great book written from the point of view of a boy who has sensory issues. The teacher is pretty kind and school is not a bad place in it.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:58 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by warriorqueen at 4:58 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes and When Lions Roar by Robie Harris would both be excellent for this. Henkes is excellent at delving into feelings and the Harris book provides kids with a great way to re-center when they are nervous.
Guts is definitely for kids older than 4. It's attractive to younger kids cause it has a comic book feel but I would typically recommend it to 3rd graders and up. It also doesn't really have a solution to anxiety. Adults can put into perspective that anxiety might stay with you forever and just be a part of life, but that messaging doesn't always resonate in the intended way for early childhood.
Source: I'm a children's librarian.
posted by donut_princess at 5:32 PM on November 9, 2019 [14 favorites]
Guts is definitely for kids older than 4. It's attractive to younger kids cause it has a comic book feel but I would typically recommend it to 3rd graders and up. It also doesn't really have a solution to anxiety. Adults can put into perspective that anxiety might stay with you forever and just be a part of life, but that messaging doesn't always resonate in the intended way for early childhood.
Source: I'm a children's librarian.
posted by donut_princess at 5:32 PM on November 9, 2019 [14 favorites]
Also seconding Scaredy Squirrel
posted by donut_princess at 5:33 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by donut_princess at 5:33 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
My 6yo was 4 when we got the "Smile" book by Raina Telgemeier, and it was too long for his attention span then. He only turned 6 this summer and I got her book "Ghosts" and he followed along quite well with it. But! I like to read my kid mid grade graphic novels and I say, if your kid is interested in it, get it for him! Read it with him and gauge his interest and attention span. I am much more a fan of getting kids stuff they are interested in rather than getting them stuff that are age/skills based.
posted by jillithd at 6:10 PM on November 9, 2019
posted by jillithd at 6:10 PM on November 9, 2019
I looked over Guts after reading good things about it but thought my 9 year old might actually find it more of an anxiety trigger than a comfort. He likes hearing that other people have the feelings he has, but fictional descriptions are a bit too much. YMMV.
My kid has a book called “What To Do If You Worry Too Much,” which is an awful name, but everything aside from the title was sweet and gave us some age-appropriate vocab that...well, I don’t know if it helped, because anxiety seems to be how he’s wired, but it didn’t hurt. It helped us as parents. The word-for-word text was a little beyond him at 4 but the overall framing was okay for him so we just talked about it together.
posted by tchemgrrl at 8:58 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
My kid has a book called “What To Do If You Worry Too Much,” which is an awful name, but everything aside from the title was sweet and gave us some age-appropriate vocab that...well, I don’t know if it helped, because anxiety seems to be how he’s wired, but it didn’t hurt. It helped us as parents. The word-for-word text was a little beyond him at 4 but the overall framing was okay for him so we just talked about it together.
posted by tchemgrrl at 8:58 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]
There are, IMHO, many graphic novels out there written for a middle-grade and early adolescent audience which are nonetheless hugely popular with younger kids who aren’t really ready to understand the content. Maybe it’s because they see their older siblings reading them and maybe it’s because the comic-like format is so compelling. Guts certainly belongs in this category. The Henkes, Watts (Scaredy Squirrel) and Humphries (Boy named Bat) recommendations above are excellent. I would further recommend connecting with a good children’s librarian for additional recommendations for now and as your child gets older.
posted by carterk at 7:37 AM on November 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by carterk at 7:37 AM on November 10, 2019 [1 favorite]
2nd-ing Wemberly Worried.
source: preschool teacher
posted by kathrynm at 8:03 AM on November 10, 2019
source: preschool teacher
posted by kathrynm at 8:03 AM on November 10, 2019
An oldie but a goodie: the Huge Bag of Worries.
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 2:53 AM on November 11, 2019
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 2:53 AM on November 11, 2019
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posted by JacksonandFinch at 4:40 PM on November 9, 2019 [1 favorite]