Gong at non-religious wedding

August 19, 2019 9:56 AM

My partner and I are having a secular wedding ceremony in October. We're both atheist/agnostic white cis guys who play multiple musical instruments. Weirdos that we are, we're considering using a gong in the wedding ceremony, but I'm concerned about that it might be viewed as racist cultural appropriation.

We have a bunch of instruments already and think this might be a fun excuse to buy a gong and add it to the collection. Additionally we may have people sign the gong with a marker in lieu of a guest book.

This is the gong we're considering purchasing.

Is this a terrible idea?

posted by OntologicalPuppy to Human Relations (10 answers total)

To my eye that particular gong feels more possibly problematic because of the design of the structure which is definitely intended to indicate Asian-ness (in fact the description references "Asian design" … as opposed to, say, a specific country or culture). If you were to get a gong with something more like this for it's hanging structure it wouldn't scream "we thought this was cool b/c Asian" in the same way.

That said, I'll leave it to folks w/ more of a relationship to gongs and asian culture and appropriation to tease out the politics in a more nuanced way.
posted by wemayfreeze at 10:08 AM on August 19, 2019 [4 favorites]

I, as a White woman, whose opinion doesn't matter that much says it's not a good idea, especially because gongs are still used ceremonially to this day.

I do attend Buddist services from time to time and there is a gong in the temple I frequent. I'm not sure if writing on a gong is culturally offenive or not but it makes me cringe because I associate them as a sacred object.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:11 AM on August 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Yeah that looks a bit too much like a novelty gong sold for shits and giggles. Check out gongs sold for musicians, e.g. here at sweetwater (Unaffiliated, I just like to shop there).

Your only hope of doing this without looking gauche is to go for the serious music angle, not the decorative/exoticism angle.
posted by SaltySalticid at 10:14 AM on August 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: I agree with all of these comments. Thanks!

If we combined the stand wemayfreeze posted along with a Sabian labeled gong like this, I think it might be okay.
posted by OntologicalPuppy at 10:18 AM on August 19, 2019

The way you have framed this (an "excuse") sounds to me as though you think a gong is, by its very nature, a frivolous exotic thing. And pairing that framing with the use of a gong in a ceremonial and sacred context, which is only done in specific cultures, gives it an off-color look to me.

The follow-up seems better, but I still question the assumptions.
posted by epanalepsis at 10:20 AM on August 19, 2019 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: Upon further reflection, this is indeed probably a terrible idea. While we'll still buy a gong eventually, it won't be part of the wedding.

Thanks everyone!
posted by OntologicalPuppy at 10:32 AM on August 19, 2019 [11 favorites]

What makes the idea of a gong attractive to you? How do you anticipate using it at the ceremony? How will this be explained to the wedding guests?

If you want a gong as an instrument, then buy an instrument. If you want take an arbitrary instrument you have no connection to and make it a focal point of your wedding, that starts to feel a bit off. If a majority of your guests will immediately understand the connection to the instrument with no explanation needed, you're likely OK. If you or your officiant introduces the event with verbiage like "sacred Chinese ritual" or "Asian tradition", you've definitely crossed the line.
posted by yuwtze at 10:34 AM on August 19, 2019 [1 favorite]

Best answer: You could do the same basic thing with a large bell, including using it as a guest book. Have you looked into that? Google "ship's bell" or "wall bell" for possibilities.
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:44 AM on August 19, 2019 [14 favorites]

Best answer: Just an additional idea, we had a "Ringing Of Bells" as part of our wedding and we invited people to bring their own bells and also supplied some to pass around. A large bell that the lucky couple rings too would be a great way to do this.
posted by ewok_academy at 10:56 AM on August 19, 2019 [13 favorites]

Best answer: So, we have a gong. It is just a symphonic gong, no Chinese imagery, on a plain powder-coat black stand. It's not our gong, but it lives in our garage. We have used it from time to time for personal reasons, such as kicking off a fighting robot tournament or literally ringing in the new year. I will say that if you take a nice gong that is intended to be used at a dramatic moment in a symphony and heard throughout the hall, and play it right next to people, it will change lives. There is nothing like the rising non-harmonic oscillations that are felt as much as heard.

That said, I think this is a bad idea for reasons unrelated to cultural appropriation. Either you get a crap gong that will sound like the ones that balloon artists clang when they get a tip from a child, and it will sound like crap and quickly get repetitive. Or you get a nice gong, which is going to be hard to play. A real gong needs to be "warmed" to ring properly, and it needs to be hit pretty hard, neither of which wedding guests will do. Honestly, even if they did it "right", it would still get repetitive. There's a very good reason gongs are used for color and occasionally bass line.
posted by wnissen at 12:00 PM on August 19, 2019 [9 favorites]