Female leg hair... Summertime semi-formal.
July 12, 2019 11:48 AM Subscribe
How to dress my lower limbs? Summertime semi-formal church wedding in the afternoon. I will be wearing a red dress that ends just above the knee. I have medium brown leg hair that is long and curly. I won't be shaving, but I don't mind concealing it with tights or something...but it might be even more awkward if I'm wearing heavy tights in the summer. How can I avoid offending the conservative types?
oh lord don't wear full length tights or hose in this heat, just wear knee-highs if you must, but honestly fuck anyone who might be offended. it's 2019 and they can eat taint sweat.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:01 PM on July 12, 2019 [49 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 12:01 PM on July 12, 2019 [49 favorites]
How can I avoid offending the conservative types?
You can't. If it isn't leg hair, it'll be the red dress. With the exception of wearing an actual wedding gown yourself, dress for your own comfort and fun.
posted by headnsouth at 12:15 PM on July 12, 2019 [30 favorites]
You can't. If it isn't leg hair, it'll be the red dress. With the exception of wearing an actual wedding gown yourself, dress for your own comfort and fun.
posted by headnsouth at 12:15 PM on July 12, 2019 [30 favorites]
Nude sheer will show the leg hair FYI.
Go with opaque.
The amount of pearl clutching will depend on how close you are to the bride or groom.
Sister - pearls will be clutched, tongues clucked
Cousin - eyes will be rolled
Friend or plus one - nobody cares
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:29 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
Go with opaque.
The amount of pearl clutching will depend on how close you are to the bride or groom.
Sister - pearls will be clutched, tongues clucked
Cousin - eyes will be rolled
Friend or plus one - nobody cares
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:29 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
My leg hair is visible under pantyhose, plus the pantyhose ruffles it up and it feels weird. Do not recommend.
Also: I have never had anyone comment to me on my unshaven legs. Anyone old-school enough to be annoyed should likewise be old-school polite enough to know that mentioning it would be very rude. You may give some gossipy relatives something harmless to jaw about among themselves, this is a public service.
(And yeah, I had a prof in my grad program tell me that wearing a red dress to a wedding meant you slept with the groom. I was wearing a red dress at a wedding. Gross, dude.)
posted by momus_window at 12:29 PM on July 12, 2019 [28 favorites]
Also: I have never had anyone comment to me on my unshaven legs. Anyone old-school enough to be annoyed should likewise be old-school polite enough to know that mentioning it would be very rude. You may give some gossipy relatives something harmless to jaw about among themselves, this is a public service.
(And yeah, I had a prof in my grad program tell me that wearing a red dress to a wedding meant you slept with the groom. I was wearing a red dress at a wedding. Gross, dude.)
posted by momus_window at 12:29 PM on July 12, 2019 [28 favorites]
YMMV about how it looks on you or with the dress, but given that it's semi-formal, even in the afternoon you might be able to wear suntan or off-black instead of nude, and that will probably make it less obvious without having to wear tights instead of hose. If you're talking about actual conservatives, nobody is going to think it is somehow weird that you're wearing pantyhose in the summer with a dress that shows your knees; with actual conservatives it might be substantially worse to have bare legs in that circumstance.
Not that you should have to dress according to how they want, but if you're just wanting to blend, like I wore pantyhose with skirts in the summer right up until I stopped wearing skirts entirely. It isn't the most pleasant thing, but it never raised anybody's eyebrows at relatively conservative midwest weddings/funerals, even with more opaque tights.
posted by Sequence at 12:32 PM on July 12, 2019
Not that you should have to dress according to how they want, but if you're just wanting to blend, like I wore pantyhose with skirts in the summer right up until I stopped wearing skirts entirely. It isn't the most pleasant thing, but it never raised anybody's eyebrows at relatively conservative midwest weddings/funerals, even with more opaque tights.
posted by Sequence at 12:32 PM on July 12, 2019
If the contrast between your legs and the hair color makes you uncomfortable because you’re pale, you could put self-tanner on, but you really, really don’t need to. There will be bigger things for the etiquette police to gossip about at the wedding, like the groomsman who’s overserved or the female guest wearing white.
posted by sallybrown at 12:33 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by sallybrown at 12:33 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
You could wear suntan color hose, I guess. That wouldn't feel great if your leg hair is really thick, but it would probably camouflage the situation.
But don't do it! here's why:
You say you don't want to offend "conservative types" but I am here to tell you with assurance that conservative types enjoy NOTHING more than having something to cluck about. So even if people do notice and disapprove of your unshaved legs, hey won't be "offended": they'll be thrilled. You would be doing everyone a service.
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:37 PM on July 12, 2019 [20 favorites]
But don't do it! here's why:
You say you don't want to offend "conservative types" but I am here to tell you with assurance that conservative types enjoy NOTHING more than having something to cluck about. So even if people do notice and disapprove of your unshaved legs, hey won't be "offended": they'll be thrilled. You would be doing everyone a service.
posted by fingersandtoes at 12:37 PM on July 12, 2019 [20 favorites]
IME if you have full length leg hair - as opposed to just a little regrowth - tights wont help, your leg hair will make its way through the holes so you'll be uncomfortable and still be showing leg hair.
posted by missmagenta at 12:42 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by missmagenta at 12:42 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
I think a knee high boot + over the knee sock combo could be cute. You would have to match the formality/dressiness of the boot and sock to the dress, or or would look weird, though. Not something to be accomplished with Uggs and boot liner socks.
posted by Juliet Banana at 12:48 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Juliet Banana at 12:48 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
My leg hair is barely visible but it is not any less visible through tights or hose. Keep your legs bare for your own comfort because as others said above, if folks are determined to be offended they'll find something. If it's not you, it'll be another guest. Go, have fun.
Also, in my opinion, anyone spending that kind of time thinking about your calves has....too much time on their hands and some issues with boundaries.
posted by bilabial at 12:48 PM on July 12, 2019 [6 favorites]
Also, in my opinion, anyone spending that kind of time thinking about your calves has....too much time on their hands and some issues with boundaries.
posted by bilabial at 12:48 PM on July 12, 2019 [6 favorites]
Sheer tights with a pattern in black to confuse the eye. Not fishnets obvs for a wedding, but paisleys or flowers or something. Or opaque w/a pattern w/some red in it.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:04 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:04 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
How can I avoid offending the conservative types?
Stop existing.
Alternatively, you could expect them to act like adults and mind their manners, and just chastise them for being rude if they say anything.
posted by bile and syntax at 1:05 PM on July 12, 2019 [11 favorites]
Stop existing.
Alternatively, you could expect them to act like adults and mind their manners, and just chastise them for being rude if they say anything.
posted by bile and syntax at 1:05 PM on July 12, 2019 [11 favorites]
You will be miserable in tights or hose, but if you do go that route, NOTHING SHEER. Trust me when I say it makes the leg hair super obvious and also ...just gross-looking. It's definitely better to just bare your furry legs. (It also feels horrible to sqwunch your leg hair all up in some pantyhose. It's a very particular kind of hell.)
I like the idea of using some self-tanner, but if you do that, be sure to test it out at least a week before the event, so if it looks terrible you have some time to get it off.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:17 PM on July 12, 2019
I like the idea of using some self-tanner, but if you do that, be sure to test it out at least a week before the event, so if it looks terrible you have some time to get it off.
posted by fiercecupcake at 1:17 PM on July 12, 2019
I was in a similar situation and went bare-legged. I had a longer dress than you (mid-calf). I will say that the wedding photographer did some kind of magic that airbrushed my shaggy legs, much to my amusement.
That said, my leg hair doesn't look too weird under opaque tights or leggings, and I find the right pair of tights pretty comfortable even in summer. I would consider a matching shade of red, but it's hard to say without seeing the dress.
posted by toastedcheese at 1:22 PM on July 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
That said, my leg hair doesn't look too weird under opaque tights or leggings, and I find the right pair of tights pretty comfortable even in summer. I would consider a matching shade of red, but it's hard to say without seeing the dress.
posted by toastedcheese at 1:22 PM on July 12, 2019 [4 favorites]
I just went to a wedding in another country where I didn't know how fancy it would be. I did not want to be over-dressed if it turned out to be a beach wedding - it was on the Croatian coast - so I bought flow-y full palazzo pants and a fancy tunic. The clothing of other guests included both black cigarette pants and asymmetrical white cotton top on an adorable Audrey Hepburn-esque guest and obvious prom-type gowns, so it was a sartorially interesting event.
This approach - really fancy pants or a long dress - sidesteps the problem, and if you have concerns about potentially offending the bride or family, this neatly avoids the issue entirely. If you have time to plan this you can probably find something spectacular in a thrift shop. I recommend charity shops in wealthy communities, where the donations can be incredible.
Interestingly, the bride at the event I attended wore a gorgeous sleeveless wedding gown and herself had underarm hair, and probably leg hair, so I was probably overthinking the issue!
posted by citygirl at 2:17 PM on July 12, 2019 [9 favorites]
This approach - really fancy pants or a long dress - sidesteps the problem, and if you have concerns about potentially offending the bride or family, this neatly avoids the issue entirely. If you have time to plan this you can probably find something spectacular in a thrift shop. I recommend charity shops in wealthy communities, where the donations can be incredible.
Interestingly, the bride at the event I attended wore a gorgeous sleeveless wedding gown and herself had underarm hair, and probably leg hair, so I was probably overthinking the issue!
posted by citygirl at 2:17 PM on July 12, 2019 [9 favorites]
I suspect the kind of people who would disapprove of bare, hairy legs would also disapprove of wearing an above-the-knee red dress to a wedding. +1 for an ankle-length dress. Nobody ever gets criticized for showing up to a church dressed too modestly.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 8:09 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 8:09 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
If it was me, and I had any doubts at all, I would simply wear a different, longer dress. "Wear whatever you feel like" and "Care about fitting in and not drawing attention" aren't always particularly compatible goals.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:47 PM on July 12, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:47 PM on July 12, 2019 [8 favorites]
There will be bigger things for the etiquette police to gossip about at the wedding, like the groomsman who’s overserved or the female guest wearing white.
This. I was pretty nervous about dressing appropriately for the last wedding I went to (I didn’t know the bride or the groom, and they and their families were Christian and significantly more conservative than I’m used to). Turns out I didn’t have to worry, because any minor social faux pas I might have made was totally overshadowed by a couple my partner and I were seated with at dinner. The pair of them arrived 20 minutes late for the ceremony. At dinner she got very quickly tipsy. They had several poorly concealed rows in the hallway, and then they left as soon as dessert was over, without saying goodbye to the bride and groom. She hugged everyone seated at our table on her way out, and as her mini-dress had hiked itself up, she managed to moon half the banquet hall including the head table. The groom - who had invited the pair - was not amused.
TLDR: even if someone does notice your leg hair, someone else will do something far more outrageous before the night is through and no one will remember your legs.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 9:50 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
This. I was pretty nervous about dressing appropriately for the last wedding I went to (I didn’t know the bride or the groom, and they and their families were Christian and significantly more conservative than I’m used to). Turns out I didn’t have to worry, because any minor social faux pas I might have made was totally overshadowed by a couple my partner and I were seated with at dinner. The pair of them arrived 20 minutes late for the ceremony. At dinner she got very quickly tipsy. They had several poorly concealed rows in the hallway, and then they left as soon as dessert was over, without saying goodbye to the bride and groom. She hugged everyone seated at our table on her way out, and as her mini-dress had hiked itself up, she managed to moon half the banquet hall including the head table. The groom - who had invited the pair - was not amused.
TLDR: even if someone does notice your leg hair, someone else will do something far more outrageous before the night is through and no one will remember your legs.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 9:50 PM on July 12, 2019 [3 favorites]
I recommend charity shops in wealthy communities, where the donations can be incredible.
Yes to this! That's how I've gotten my nicest clothes.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:51 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
Yes to this! That's how I've gotten my nicest clothes.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:51 PM on July 12, 2019 [2 favorites]
Are you going to feel self- conscious the whole time? If so, I second the idea of wearing pants and a nice top, perhaps a nice jumpsuit, that way you just have a better time and don't have to wonder if anyone is judging your legs. There are ways of staying cool with your legs covered in the summer, and pants are much better pantyhose in the heat.
If you don't care, then don't care about anyone else - with all the onslaught on women's control of their bodies, the least we can do is have the right to not shave our legs. Do what will let you have the best time.
posted by whatdoyouthink? at 10:16 PM on July 12, 2019 [7 favorites]
If you don't care, then don't care about anyone else - with all the onslaught on women's control of their bodies, the least we can do is have the right to not shave our legs. Do what will let you have the best time.
posted by whatdoyouthink? at 10:16 PM on July 12, 2019 [7 favorites]
Trippy patterned leggings.
posted by inexorably_forward at 3:05 AM on July 13, 2019
posted by inexorably_forward at 3:05 AM on July 13, 2019
I have hairy legs and have found that people rarely notice it. When they do, I see their expressions as they process the fact that it’s intentional and I am okay with it, but they have never said anything. When I really have to cover my legs, say in winter, I wear dressy bootcut pants under a tunic length or above knee dress. Would this work with the churchenpeople?
posted by Morpeth at 8:30 AM on July 16, 2019
posted by Morpeth at 8:30 AM on July 16, 2019
Response by poster: Went barelegged. Ended up finding the perfect sandals, so it kind of took the choice out of my hands. But I think (hope) most people genuinely did not notice, at least if they did they had the grace to keep their mouth shut... My dress was one of the brighter ones, but not one of the shorter or most revealing, and I actually fit in better than expected. Also the church in question turned out to be very hip, having just finished pride week celebrations (those Methodists, I'm tellin ya...). So the real moral is look the church up ahead of time. We also arrived early to the church and were seated by the time most people started showing up, so no one even had a chance to see until the reception.
posted by anaelith at 4:35 AM on July 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by anaelith at 4:35 AM on July 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by cooker girl at 11:51 AM on July 12, 2019