whither the dad group
March 20, 2019 10:43 AM Subscribe
What online or NYC dad groups exist that aren't just pits of barely-restrained of toxic straight male behavior or based entirely around drinking? Where are the "mom group" equivalents for dads that just foster discussion and support rather than Replying To Memes and Complaining About The Wife and so on? Where are the forums that you can't find easily by Googling?
Let's assume I've seen all the ones you can get by Googling "dad/father group" or "NYC dad/father group" and looking on Facebook. I'd like the see the ones that aren't really obviously located because I've churned through that stuff and found it not great at best. I know about Life of Dad, I know about Fatherly, I know about the NYC Dads Group, I know about Gay Bi Dads at the GLBT Center. I can name you five different NYC-local groups that haven't met in five years.
What I'm looking for is something like the million-and-one mom group/forums out there but for dads and preferably in some way culled for particularly egregious Internet Man behavior, which stuff like Life of Dad absolutely is not.
Across-the-board LGBT friendliness is a hard requirement; absolute last thing I want is a dad group where there's Debates about e.g. whether trans men are dads or not or god knows what.
NB: "just start your own group" - yes, I know.
Let's assume I've seen all the ones you can get by Googling "dad/father group" or "NYC dad/father group" and looking on Facebook. I'd like the see the ones that aren't really obviously located because I've churned through that stuff and found it not great at best. I know about Life of Dad, I know about Fatherly, I know about the NYC Dads Group, I know about Gay Bi Dads at the GLBT Center. I can name you five different NYC-local groups that haven't met in five years.
What I'm looking for is something like the million-and-one mom group/forums out there but for dads and preferably in some way culled for particularly egregious Internet Man behavior, which stuff like Life of Dad absolutely is not.
Across-the-board LGBT friendliness is a hard requirement; absolute last thing I want is a dad group where there's Debates about e.g. whether trans men are dads or not or god knows what.
NB: "just start your own group" - yes, I know.
One Bad Mother recently featured Chris Routly of athomedad.org. Though you may not be an at-home dad, I suspect the groups listed on that site may have attitudes that jibe with yours.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:58 AM on March 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ocherdraco at 10:58 AM on March 20, 2019 [1 favorite]
Have you tried meetup.com? They have a few listed by neighborhood - this one seems to be the biggest. / most active.
posted by Mchelly at 11:59 AM on March 20, 2019
posted by Mchelly at 11:59 AM on March 20, 2019
I’ve had better luck finding groups for specific neighborhoods rather than all of nyc. So I’d suggest narrowing your search.
If you’re in Brooklyn, check out Park Slope Parents. I’m sure they have a dad-specific sub-board.
The parent groups in my neighborhood have dads well represented, but I know that’s not universally true.
posted by valeries at 11:22 PM on March 20, 2019
If you’re in Brooklyn, check out Park Slope Parents. I’m sure they have a dad-specific sub-board.
The parent groups in my neighborhood have dads well represented, but I know that’s not universally true.
posted by valeries at 11:22 PM on March 20, 2019
Yup, I came in to recommend Park Slope Parents, which has a PSPDads group. My husband is a member. It's mainly an email group, but they have occasional meetups for playing poker or doing Dad 411 sessions. Also, PSP has a Gaming group that skews male and they organize game nights.
posted by CiaoMela at 1:55 PM on March 21, 2019
posted by CiaoMela at 1:55 PM on March 21, 2019
Sadly, my experience with dad groups has not been good - there just don't seem to be active ones as you describe. Even the Park Slope Parents Dad forum is mostly about grilling or movies and stuff. That said, I would try out any you find in-person, as I have found that sometimes you really just have to be in-person to figure out if the fit is good, even if the online posting seems not very promising.
When my daughter was little, I was in a mom's group (as the sole dad) and it was still good to do, for support and socializing. I also attended a dad's group like you describe a few times, but TBH it was like a weird group therapy session for dads who were freaking out and because we all didn't know each other real well (except for a small core that put it together), it didn't stick for me.
It's a pain, but I'd start my own - describe it just the way you did above.
posted by moedym at 8:25 AM on March 25, 2019
When my daughter was little, I was in a mom's group (as the sole dad) and it was still good to do, for support and socializing. I also attended a dad's group like you describe a few times, but TBH it was like a weird group therapy session for dads who were freaking out and because we all didn't know each other real well (except for a small core that put it together), it didn't stick for me.
It's a pain, but I'd start my own - describe it just the way you did above.
posted by moedym at 8:25 AM on March 25, 2019
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posted by A god with hooves, a god with horns at 10:49 AM on March 20, 2019 [1 favorite]