Looking for divorce lawyer and resources in Ithaca New York
March 17, 2019 6:55 AM Subscribe
Unfortunately, my good friend is suddenly in need of a divorce attorney in Ithaca, New York. Looking for recommendations and any other resources.
That's it. My friend (female, 40s) is in need of a divorce lawyer in or around Ithaca, New York. Other divorce resources for New York state are also welcome.
Husband moved out suddenly and froze bank accounts. He says he has a plan to split assets and it seems is planning on trying to control her access to funds, etc.
throwaway email: ithacathrowaway7@gmail.com
Thanks all.
That's it. My friend (female, 40s) is in need of a divorce lawyer in or around Ithaca, New York. Other divorce resources for New York state are also welcome.
Husband moved out suddenly and froze bank accounts. He says he has a plan to split assets and it seems is planning on trying to control her access to funds, etc.
throwaway email: ithacathrowaway7@gmail.com
Thanks all.
Also when the divorce process starts out hostile, it's really a good idea to get a talk therapist or a counselor. A good family law lawyer will gently remind you that they cannot help you process your emotions about the divorce or help you deal with the additional unfairness that sometimes results from perfectly proper legal proceedings. But most attorneys will just brush you off to focus on their job. Someone to talk to--other than a friend--is very very helpful.
On the practical side of things, she should be collecting all the documentation she can get her hands on. Does she have copies of bank account statements from last month or last year? Credit card statements? What about any retirement funds or investment accounts? Title to the car? Write a list of every banking/financial/trading account they ever had together or separately since the marriage (financial institution with account number or type of account and how long they've had it and what she thought the purpose of the account was. Don't worry if she does not have all the details, just be as complete as she can be).
She's in the house, she should inventory the belongings and note things of family value or real monetary value.
She should write a timeline of the relationship, with major financial and professional milestones noted, along with personal impact of each. E.g., did his promotion mean she turned down a job that they would have had to move for? Did he pay for her graduate school? These things sound super-petty when written down or categorized in this manner, but if he's refusing her access to joint account, that horse is already out of the barn.
Finally, she should think hard about what she wants. Does she want the house? Can she afford it? What does she need to afford the house? Support for spouses is less common in the modern world, particularly in dual-professional relationships, but it's not unheard of, particularly with regard to retirement investments or entitlements. If he's always handled that, now's the time the think about what she needs. If she's always managed it, now is time to decide what she thinks is fair. In the end, her attorney will tell her what's possible and the court will decide what to do, but she should have as clear an idea as possible as to what she wants to start the conversation.
posted by crush at 10:07 AM on March 17, 2019 [2 favorites]
On the practical side of things, she should be collecting all the documentation she can get her hands on. Does she have copies of bank account statements from last month or last year? Credit card statements? What about any retirement funds or investment accounts? Title to the car? Write a list of every banking/financial/trading account they ever had together or separately since the marriage (financial institution with account number or type of account and how long they've had it and what she thought the purpose of the account was. Don't worry if she does not have all the details, just be as complete as she can be).
She's in the house, she should inventory the belongings and note things of family value or real monetary value.
She should write a timeline of the relationship, with major financial and professional milestones noted, along with personal impact of each. E.g., did his promotion mean she turned down a job that they would have had to move for? Did he pay for her graduate school? These things sound super-petty when written down or categorized in this manner, but if he's refusing her access to joint account, that horse is already out of the barn.
Finally, she should think hard about what she wants. Does she want the house? Can she afford it? What does she need to afford the house? Support for spouses is less common in the modern world, particularly in dual-professional relationships, but it's not unheard of, particularly with regard to retirement investments or entitlements. If he's always handled that, now's the time the think about what she needs. If she's always managed it, now is time to decide what she thinks is fair. In the end, her attorney will tell her what's possible and the court will decide what to do, but she should have as clear an idea as possible as to what she wants to start the conversation.
posted by crush at 10:07 AM on March 17, 2019 [2 favorites]
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posted by Little Dawn at 8:03 AM on March 17, 2019