Young kid obsessed with depictions of sexualized violence in Star Wars
October 22, 2018 2:30 PM Subscribe
What's the latest child development literature on talking to young children about cultural depictions of sexualized violence? I know MeFites are smarter than average and great parents, but I'm not looking for personal anecdotes about how you handled a similar situation, or that sort of thing. I'm hoping MeFites with some background in psychology, child development, or related fields can point me to recent research on this topic.
I have a 3-year old who's has been way into the 'Star Wars: 5-Minute Star Wars Stories' books, which is mostly not a problem. My wife and I don't like violence, and are aware that there are some things that a young child's brain just can't comprehend yet, but these books have been deeply sanitized and are clearly intended for young children. We've found ways to make space for exploring physical conflict and role-playing both "good" and "evil" in ways that seem age-appropriate.
However, the kid has begun fixating on Princess Leia as Jabba's captive, and specific elements of that, such as Leia being chained around the neck and her relative nakedness compared to the male characters, and we have no idea how to talk about it. We "misplaced" the book, which we hate, because we are usually honest with him. We just aren't sure how to talk to him about this honestly and intelligibly. We don't think it's time to introduce the idea that a person's body can be used as a weapon of shame, or anything related to misogyny, gendered violence, that sort of thing.
If anyone can point us in the direction of recent literature on the exposure of young children to cultural depictions of gendered violence and developmentally-appropriate ways of engaging on those topics, it would be greatly appreciated.
I have a 3-year old who's has been way into the 'Star Wars: 5-Minute Star Wars Stories' books, which is mostly not a problem. My wife and I don't like violence, and are aware that there are some things that a young child's brain just can't comprehend yet, but these books have been deeply sanitized and are clearly intended for young children. We've found ways to make space for exploring physical conflict and role-playing both "good" and "evil" in ways that seem age-appropriate.
However, the kid has begun fixating on Princess Leia as Jabba's captive, and specific elements of that, such as Leia being chained around the neck and her relative nakedness compared to the male characters, and we have no idea how to talk about it. We "misplaced" the book, which we hate, because we are usually honest with him. We just aren't sure how to talk to him about this honestly and intelligibly. We don't think it's time to introduce the idea that a person's body can be used as a weapon of shame, or anything related to misogyny, gendered violence, that sort of thing.
If anyone can point us in the direction of recent literature on the exposure of young children to cultural depictions of gendered violence and developmentally-appropriate ways of engaging on those topics, it would be greatly appreciated.
I personally used Carrie's own spin on that scene with my kid - she was a prisoner and made to wear a costume she didn't like. She used the chains they tried to hold her in to fight free, she's clever and strong to think of that! And then when she was free, she got changed back into her own clothes.
Does the book have the dancer who was similarly dressed from earlier or is it just Leia? If it's only Leia he's interested in, not the bikini costume (which can be a passing age appropriate hey what's that thing) then he really may be focusing on her being physically restrained and forced to wear clothes she doesn't choose by a larger person.... something a child can relate to. All my kids thought Leia was badass before they thought of her as sexy.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 3:48 PM on October 22, 2018 [18 favorites]
Does the book have the dancer who was similarly dressed from earlier or is it just Leia? If it's only Leia he's interested in, not the bikini costume (which can be a passing age appropriate hey what's that thing) then he really may be focusing on her being physically restrained and forced to wear clothes she doesn't choose by a larger person.... something a child can relate to. All my kids thought Leia was badass before they thought of her as sexy.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 3:48 PM on October 22, 2018 [18 favorites]
We don't think it's time to introduce the idea that a person's body can be used as a weapon of shame, or anything related to misogyny, gendered violence, that sort of thing.
I agree. (but when it does come time to talk about that sort of thing, don't assume from anything you catch him reading that you know which character he imaginatively projects himself onto (if any)).
young kids are often obsessed with narratives and scenarios involving captivity, nudity, shame, enormous authority figures, punishment, and rebellion, because that is the actual all-consuming content of their daily physical and emotional lives. almost exclusively. not in fantasy, for real. it's only metaphorical when you get to be too old to be picked up and turned upside down and dressed and undressed and put where someone wants you to go. and it's not necessarily sexual except to older people re-interpreting it in hindsight. or not in a way that will necessarily carry over into adulthood.
parents don't generally like to feel like space monsters forcing brave princesses into bondage but to a three-year-old there's a lot of familiar content there to recognize. this particular bit of culture is definitely not necessary for him to have and fine to take away. but whatever ideas he's having, they're not all coming in from the outside. he has a lot of life experience already he's bringing with him to the reading of these things.
& you can always explain that something is "a grown-up story" when taking it away. no need to tell him it's a bad book with a bad message or anything you think might make him feel guilty. even if he challenges you and says no, it's a kid's book, you can still say yes, but the story is too grown up for you right now. the end.
posted by queenofbithynia at 3:51 PM on October 22, 2018 [39 favorites]
I agree. (but when it does come time to talk about that sort of thing, don't assume from anything you catch him reading that you know which character he imaginatively projects himself onto (if any)).
young kids are often obsessed with narratives and scenarios involving captivity, nudity, shame, enormous authority figures, punishment, and rebellion, because that is the actual all-consuming content of their daily physical and emotional lives. almost exclusively. not in fantasy, for real. it's only metaphorical when you get to be too old to be picked up and turned upside down and dressed and undressed and put where someone wants you to go. and it's not necessarily sexual except to older people re-interpreting it in hindsight. or not in a way that will necessarily carry over into adulthood.
parents don't generally like to feel like space monsters forcing brave princesses into bondage but to a three-year-old there's a lot of familiar content there to recognize. this particular bit of culture is definitely not necessary for him to have and fine to take away. but whatever ideas he's having, they're not all coming in from the outside. he has a lot of life experience already he's bringing with him to the reading of these things.
& you can always explain that something is "a grown-up story" when taking it away. no need to tell him it's a bad book with a bad message or anything you think might make him feel guilty. even if he challenges you and says no, it's a kid's book, you can still say yes, but the story is too grown up for you right now. the end.
posted by queenofbithynia at 3:51 PM on October 22, 2018 [39 favorites]
It doesn't sound like your child is emotionally ready for this sort of content yet. Wean him off of it until he is ready.
posted by k8t at 5:20 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by k8t at 5:20 PM on October 22, 2018 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I have a degree in Early Childhood Education. I would simply point out that your child is deeply interested in an image to which you are assigning the words sexualized, violence, captive. Your son's interest in nudity and gender differentiation is developmentally appropriate for his age. If you are able to distract a child from a behaviour, that's a healthy indicator.
Anatomically correct dolls and toddler books would be ways for him to explore a perfectly healthy interest. If he has a parent who is anatomically female, you may wish to discuss the opportunity for family bath time to give your son an opportunity to ask questions, but this is obviously not an option every family will choose.
(I'm sorry I'm unable to provide you with resources for further reading;I have not taught pre-school for a very long time.)
posted by DarlingBri at 3:19 PM on October 22, 2018 [32 favorites]