Help loved one with COPD live more happily/better
October 16, 2018 9:15 AM   Subscribe

Someone close to me has COPD, and it’s making her miserable. I’d like to give her presents, take her places or do stuff for her that will make her life better. (Shaker Heights, OH, if it’s important.) Details and constraints inside.

This person is mentally sharp, in her mid-70s, and has very poor close vision. She loves movies and TV, and is probably covered there. She lives alone, is a fine driver with a reliable late-model car. Her interests include theater, gardening, the arts, literature and Democratic politics. She is not interested in having a pet. She is depressed and a pretty extreme introvert with a limited tolerance for other humans and their bullshit. She is not religious. She is on a fixed income.

If you have breathing issues, did you receive a great gift? Did you give a great gift?
posted by chesty_a_arthur to Grab Bag (7 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: My mum has been a severe asthmatic for years, and as a result, is also COPD.

Is she on oxygen? Forgive me, but what is making her miserable? Lack of mobility?
posted by Ftsqg at 9:24 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Just having difficult breathing, being hypoxic can be making her miserable. She is suffocating. It is panic-inducing and painful and scary. going through that all the time is awful. I knew a couple of COPD people and before it was over they just wanted it to be over.

First of all, is there anything you can do to improve her quality of life? She probably has puffers and making sure she takes them relentlessly and on schedule and correctly could improve her mood a bit. Only thing I can think of there is to provide her with an app that will remind her when to take them, and encourage her to take them when she should. But maybe she is already getting all the benefit from her puffers that she can.

Is her portable tank too heavy for her to trundle around? That maybe could be addressed. Also, could anything be done for her vision, such as cataract surgery? If she has limited close range vision, I am guessing no.

Does she have enough social contact? Would something like a movie club work for her, or an internet group doing movies? My father, his sister and their cousin used to do movies two to four times a month together and these outings were very important to them. If she had a movie buddy would that work to help a bit? What about a book club?

What stage is her COPD at? That makes a lot of difference it she has an expected progression of dying of suffocation in four months, versus ten years of needing puffers but not needing oxygen.
posted by Jane the Brown at 10:02 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]


Best answer: As Jane T.B. notes, COPD limits the oxygen available, as the lungs are less and less capable. My Mom had it. Lack of oxygen causes panic, the limited oxygen of COPD can cause a low-grade persistent panic, unease. My Mom was always difficult; the COPD took that to a new level. Her great comfort was sugar, so I would recommend some dark chocolate. Menthol/ eucalyptus can provide a brief respite, so some Hall's cough drops, too. My Mom benefited greatly from non-profit hospice care at the end of her life.
posted by theora55 at 10:05 AM on October 16, 2018


If you can help her obtain a portable oxygen concentrator rather than the tanks in the little backpack that might help with her mobility.

It sounds like she might like a small container garden at home/a giftcard to garden store if she has a garden, or being involved in a community garden (some social interaction but the focus isn't sitting and talking to people). Or perhaps a season pass to see shows in a local theater.

Find out what is easy for her to eat and maybe give her a higher quality and more luxurious version of that. Hypoxia does a lot of shitty things, and one of the things it does is depress appetite. When I had a loved one dealing with long term breathing issues (he was on oxygen at home and couldn't really go out and walk around even with a portable tank) a lot of food didn't appeal, it was hard for him to eat. He relied on having small portions of high-fat salty foods (like bacon) to try to keep weight on when he didn't feel like eating, but he got sick of having the same thing over and over.

For her it might be sugar, or a certain snack or drink that always sounds good even when she doesn't have much of appetite. Depending on what she likes, maybe you can gift her a subscription/monthly delivery of a specialty like chocolate, fruit, coffee/tea, fancy baking mixes, etc.
posted by zdravo at 12:56 PM on October 16, 2018


Cuyahoga County's library system's selection of Overdrive books is very good--like, way better than what I get now that I'm in Nebraska--if you could set her up with an appropriate device. There's sometimes a wait for popular stuff, but there's a ton there and it's all accessible with just a library card and internet access. I'm not positive, but I think they don't require always-on access, so even if she doesn't have internet at home, she could get stuff occasionally when she's up to going out, or you could even just go over periodically with a hotspot-enabled phone.

If she's not super intimidated by it, my dad had COPD and he got a lot out of video games and the internet in his last years, even on an older computer with a pretty low-end connection.
posted by Sequence at 3:13 PM on October 16, 2018


My MIL had COPD among other issues. I think the best gifts I gave her were things like warm slippers, fleece jackets, and she especially liked an electric throw blanket we got her at Costco. She was always cold.

I live very close to Shaker Heights and would be happy to visit your friend but from your description it doesn't sound as though she'd like that. But it's a sincere offer, and I'm fun, easy to talk to and a great listener.
posted by Kangaroo at 4:46 PM on October 16, 2018


I didn't really answer earlier. My mum plays bridge online. She has a program where she can play against computer OR she can invite a friend. So she sometimes sets up a time and plays with a friend. They don't talk it's just cards and it's enough when she's not doing well.

Mum lives with us, so the hustle of 2 tween boys keeps her amused. We all take the time to chat with her, especially if she isn't getting out as much as she'd like.
posted by Ftsqg at 5:38 PM on October 16, 2018


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