Adulting 101: Step up from jeans and hoodies
October 12, 2018 7:30 AM Subscribe
I've been rocking jeans and hoodies for the last 20 years. My clothes have steadily gotten nicer and more expensive, but the basic recipe hasn't changed. Where do I go from here?
I've perused /r/malefashionadvice and got overwhelmed frankly. My goal is to look a bit more formal. The idea of ironing, or doing dry cleaning is very un-appealing.
PS: I'm a dude.
I've perused /r/malefashionadvice and got overwhelmed frankly. My goal is to look a bit more formal. The idea of ironing, or doing dry cleaning is very un-appealing.
PS: I'm a dude.
Best answer: Swap your hoodie for a v neck lambswool jumper. Darker jeans. Leather shoes / boots.
posted by Middlemarch at 7:53 AM on October 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Middlemarch at 7:53 AM on October 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: You have to identify a fashion destination. What looks good to you? What looks good on you? What's your body shape? What's your poise / posture? What's your groove / attitude?
Better clothes help you look and be more like yourself, but if you don't know who you are you'll have a hard time picking the right direction to go upwards from "generic slacker."
I could write for a long, long time about finding a personal sense of style. If you just don't know, sit down with a couple trusted friends of assorted genders who have good style and good taste in clothes and, grab a couple beers (to loosen up their critique) and then walk through a decent mall as a posse, making suggestions and talking about what looks good on you. Don't really buy anything at this point, just try a few things on and see what works. Trust your mates.
Then buy a couple pieces that seem right and are affordable and reasonably classic (not edgy "this season" crap from Zara), try them on for a couple weeks, and see how they make you feel. Style is about so much more than what you put on, it's about how you feel wearing things. Do you get more confident? Do you feel brighter? Better? Can you wear the clothes, or do they just hang on you?
This will be a multi-year process, honestly, but it can be transformative.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:54 AM on October 12, 2018 [5 favorites]
Better clothes help you look and be more like yourself, but if you don't know who you are you'll have a hard time picking the right direction to go upwards from "generic slacker."
I could write for a long, long time about finding a personal sense of style. If you just don't know, sit down with a couple trusted friends of assorted genders who have good style and good taste in clothes and, grab a couple beers (to loosen up their critique) and then walk through a decent mall as a posse, making suggestions and talking about what looks good on you. Don't really buy anything at this point, just try a few things on and see what works. Trust your mates.
Then buy a couple pieces that seem right and are affordable and reasonably classic (not edgy "this season" crap from Zara), try them on for a couple weeks, and see how they make you feel. Style is about so much more than what you put on, it's about how you feel wearing things. Do you get more confident? Do you feel brighter? Better? Can you wear the clothes, or do they just hang on you?
This will be a multi-year process, honestly, but it can be transformative.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:54 AM on October 12, 2018 [5 favorites]
Best answer: Yeah, jeans can look great in formal contexts, especially now that you're getting more expensive ones. Then you're just looking at getting some more formal tops and possibly accessories (shoes and belt).
If you're wearing t-shirts under the hoodies, you can wear nice t-shirts under jackets. And they don't have to be blazer-jackets, they can be casual and fashionable, which makes them more likely to be machine washable (and you don't need very many of them). So if I were you I'd focus on finding some jackets that can sometimes replace the hoodies, as that will take you most of the way there.
If you add some nice/fashionable/funky shoes and belts (again, you shouldn't need many of either), you will be golden. For the rare occasion where you need a button-front shirt, they do exist in "wrinkle-free", but that's not always totally true (and they are treated). Taking any shirt out of the dryer and hanging it before it's dry has served my husband well (he's ok with being a little rumply, and irons maybe a couple of time a year, tops).
posted by ldthomps at 7:56 AM on October 12, 2018
If you're wearing t-shirts under the hoodies, you can wear nice t-shirts under jackets. And they don't have to be blazer-jackets, they can be casual and fashionable, which makes them more likely to be machine washable (and you don't need very many of them). So if I were you I'd focus on finding some jackets that can sometimes replace the hoodies, as that will take you most of the way there.
If you add some nice/fashionable/funky shoes and belts (again, you shouldn't need many of either), you will be golden. For the rare occasion where you need a button-front shirt, they do exist in "wrinkle-free", but that's not always totally true (and they are treated). Taking any shirt out of the dryer and hanging it before it's dry has served my husband well (he's ok with being a little rumply, and irons maybe a couple of time a year, tops).
posted by ldthomps at 7:56 AM on October 12, 2018
Best answer: How warm do you want to be? Are these serious hoodies or just basically tees-with-hoods?
The obvious thing to me would be to switch to nice but not too formal chinos and thin sweaters, plus better casual shoes.
How expensive is expensive? Everlane makes nice fair trade chinos and jeans at a very good price point. I wash them, pull them from the dryer warm and do not iron.
COS is a nice option as long as you are a small 38 waist or smaller - their 38s are really 38.
I have several J Crew "rugged" cotton sweaters via eBay that are holding up well. I've been less thrilled by their other varieties.
Button-front casual shirts that don't need to be ironed are a possibility, but they need to be a heavier, better-quality, more rugged fabric. A thin fabric or one that feels stiff is going to wrinkle. Go for a heavier, smoother oxford or poplin. Weirdly, I have gotten some not-wrinkly American Eagle button-downs, but most of my shirts are secondhand. When you get a heavier, better quality shirt, unbutton all the buttons including collar, wash on cold and dry on medium (unless the label says otherwise). Pull from the dryer while warm, straighten out and hang up. This doesn't look as crisp as a freshly ironed dress shirt, but you don't end up with a mass of wrinkles, either.
I never iron - basically I hang everything up as soon as it's dry.
A good mix of clothes for me would be chinos in black, grey, an interesting blue, a warm brown/rust and a rich olive or deep green; thin, washable cotton sweaters in deep colors like black, grey, navy, deep green; maybe a couple of thin sweaters with a stripe or a pronounced knit; some short and long sleeve button-fronts in a range of colors that coordinate; Vans slip-ons in a simple colorway or two; a pair of chunky tassel loafers; a couple of pairs of robust leather boots for winter. Fits would be simple - nothing too slim or oversized. I would look for texture and "off" colors - a deep blue rather than a standard navy, for instance, or a birdseye knit rather than a smooth one.
You would probably want a suit for special occasions, a couple of heavy sweaters (maybe a cardigan), exercise clothes and pajamas as well. Plus scarves and hats, a bag and socks.
posted by Frowner at 8:01 AM on October 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
The obvious thing to me would be to switch to nice but not too formal chinos and thin sweaters, plus better casual shoes.
How expensive is expensive? Everlane makes nice fair trade chinos and jeans at a very good price point. I wash them, pull them from the dryer warm and do not iron.
COS is a nice option as long as you are a small 38 waist or smaller - their 38s are really 38.
I have several J Crew "rugged" cotton sweaters via eBay that are holding up well. I've been less thrilled by their other varieties.
Button-front casual shirts that don't need to be ironed are a possibility, but they need to be a heavier, better-quality, more rugged fabric. A thin fabric or one that feels stiff is going to wrinkle. Go for a heavier, smoother oxford or poplin. Weirdly, I have gotten some not-wrinkly American Eagle button-downs, but most of my shirts are secondhand. When you get a heavier, better quality shirt, unbutton all the buttons including collar, wash on cold and dry on medium (unless the label says otherwise). Pull from the dryer while warm, straighten out and hang up. This doesn't look as crisp as a freshly ironed dress shirt, but you don't end up with a mass of wrinkles, either.
I never iron - basically I hang everything up as soon as it's dry.
A good mix of clothes for me would be chinos in black, grey, an interesting blue, a warm brown/rust and a rich olive or deep green; thin, washable cotton sweaters in deep colors like black, grey, navy, deep green; maybe a couple of thin sweaters with a stripe or a pronounced knit; some short and long sleeve button-fronts in a range of colors that coordinate; Vans slip-ons in a simple colorway or two; a pair of chunky tassel loafers; a couple of pairs of robust leather boots for winter. Fits would be simple - nothing too slim or oversized. I would look for texture and "off" colors - a deep blue rather than a standard navy, for instance, or a birdseye knit rather than a smooth one.
You would probably want a suit for special occasions, a couple of heavy sweaters (maybe a cardigan), exercise clothes and pajamas as well. Plus scarves and hats, a bag and socks.
posted by Frowner at 8:01 AM on October 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The shortest, easiest answer is: wait for Banana Republic to run a sale (which they do constantly; right now they're running 40% off), buy some of their dark denim, some non-iron dress shirts, a few slim cut blazers, some ties, a leather belt, 1 pair of Chelsea boots, 1 pair of cap-toe leather dress shoes, and 1 pair of leather sneakers. Make sure all the shirts and blazers work together and you've got a full closet for =< $1500. Finish it off with some undershirts and fun socks from Target for another $50.
It's a very basic uniform that will provide an immediate upgrade. It's not the highest quality version of any of these things, but it also isn't the lowest quality version, and nothing in there will be falling apart in a year. After that, if you want to go deeper (and this is basically an endless rabbit hole if you want it to be), I would suggest what other people are suggesting: play around with your style via thrift stores and eBay, figure out what you like, lurk fashion sites like r/mfa or Put This On and see what people are talking about, talk to friends you consider stylish, etc. etc.
posted by protocoach at 8:02 AM on October 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
It's a very basic uniform that will provide an immediate upgrade. It's not the highest quality version of any of these things, but it also isn't the lowest quality version, and nothing in there will be falling apart in a year. After that, if you want to go deeper (and this is basically an endless rabbit hole if you want it to be), I would suggest what other people are suggesting: play around with your style via thrift stores and eBay, figure out what you like, lurk fashion sites like r/mfa or Put This On and see what people are talking about, talk to friends you consider stylish, etc. etc.
posted by protocoach at 8:02 AM on October 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My Mr (he/him) and me (she/her) both get a lot of mileage out of the Merino Wool sweaters at Uniqlo. A million colors, and they often go on sale. You can wear them over a tee or a button-down, with jeans or chinos or slacks.
posted by matildaben at 8:12 AM on October 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by matildaben at 8:12 AM on October 12, 2018 [3 favorites]
Best answer: On another note: if shopping doesn't send you into a panic, shop around a bit before you buy anything. Look at textures and fabric weights, look at the lining of shoes. Unless you're obsessed by this stuff, two shirts of very different quality can look pretty similar until you've worn them for a while and realize that one is comfortable, doesn't wrinkle and has an interesting texture while the other is just blah. You'll quickly realize that except for relatively small makers, brand is no guarantee of quality - I have some really great Target tee shirts that they stocked once a few years ago, for instance, but most Target tee shirts are terrible.
Think about color. IME, people often find color easier to do well than fit or style, so it's a good starting point. What colors do you like? What colors do you feel look good on you? What colors do you feel look good together? Color also carries a lot - you'll look better in a generic shirt in a flattering color than in a really interesting shirt in a color that makes you look like you've just risen from the dead.
Think about why you want to be dressier - do you want to look more professional at work? Do you want to be noticed for your distinctive style? Do you want to look more like an adult when you go grocery shopping? Do you want to signal to dates that you're not a kid anymore? Someone who wants to be admired for their distinctive style is going to make different and more complicated choices than someone who just wants to look like a well-dressed adult.
Put This On does a lot of style pieces that show how to use texture and color. I like this recent "Art Dad" one. It's not my style but it illustrates how to mix casual clothes in a limited palette. The guy is wearing specialized things that cost a lot for the most part, but you can find, eg, a barn jacket or a deep navy sweater at many price points.
posted by Frowner at 8:17 AM on October 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Think about color. IME, people often find color easier to do well than fit or style, so it's a good starting point. What colors do you like? What colors do you feel look good on you? What colors do you feel look good together? Color also carries a lot - you'll look better in a generic shirt in a flattering color than in a really interesting shirt in a color that makes you look like you've just risen from the dead.
Think about why you want to be dressier - do you want to look more professional at work? Do you want to be noticed for your distinctive style? Do you want to look more like an adult when you go grocery shopping? Do you want to signal to dates that you're not a kid anymore? Someone who wants to be admired for their distinctive style is going to make different and more complicated choices than someone who just wants to look like a well-dressed adult.
Put This On does a lot of style pieces that show how to use texture and color. I like this recent "Art Dad" one. It's not my style but it illustrates how to mix casual clothes in a limited palette. The guy is wearing specialized things that cost a lot for the most part, but you can find, eg, a barn jacket or a deep navy sweater at many price points.
posted by Frowner at 8:17 AM on October 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: A rugby shirt (like Dinesh on Silicon Valley) is a sweatshirt with a collar instead of a hood. Five pocket corduroy pants are jeans in a nicer fabric. Two easy things that look good together and won't feel substantially different from a hoodie and jeans.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:13 AM on October 12, 2018
posted by kevinbelt at 9:13 AM on October 12, 2018
Best answer: if you routinely wear the hoods on those hoodies, you might want to consider augmenting your jacket/sweater replacements with some scarves and hats.
posted by 20 year lurk at 9:38 AM on October 12, 2018
posted by 20 year lurk at 9:38 AM on October 12, 2018
Best answer: If you like the rugby shirt, you can then branch out to polo shirts. If you don't, try a nice long-sleeve t-shirt instead. If you like that, then, you can move on to crew- or v-neck merino sweaters (which are really just long-sleeve t-shirts made out of wool).
If you like the corduroys, try a pair of flat-front, relaxed fit khakis as your next step. If you like the khakis, try a pair of flat-front odd trousers (odd meaning not matched to a jacket, i.e. not part of a suit) in something like gray flannel (make sure it's machine washable; many are). If you don't like the corduroys, maybe try looking at "athleisure". Everything varies by brand, and sometimes within brands, but the basic idea is that they feel more like sweatpants while appearing office-appropriate. And I think "office sweatpants" seems to sum up a lot of guys' clothing desires.
You didn't mention shoes, but there's a simple progression there, assuming you currently wear sneakers. Step one is a nicer pair of classic sneakers, like a Chuck Taylor or a Samba. Step two is a pair of leather casual shoes, like Doc Martens or Red Wing work boots. Step three is dress shoes, which you really won't need unless you decide to go with the odd trousers.
And if you need slouchy, open-front garments to replaced unzipped hoodies, try either cardigans or unstructured blazers.
One thing I won't suggest is buying a button-front shirt. Presumably, button-front shirts aren't new to you. They're what 75% of adult men (you and me excluded) wear on a daily basis. You've seen innumerable friends and co-workers wearing button-front shirts over the past 20 years, you've had plenty of opportunities to buy button-front shirts in that time, and each time you've decided not to. There's probably a reason, and my guess is that the reason is you don't like them. Go in a direction more similar to what you already like. On top of that, if you want to avoid ironing or dry cleaning, your options are to wear wrinkly shirts (not formal) or to buy non-iron/wrinkle-free shirts, which are stiff and plasticky and generally not comfortable unless you're coming from the other direction of starched shirts and suits and ties.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:51 AM on October 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
If you like the corduroys, try a pair of flat-front, relaxed fit khakis as your next step. If you like the khakis, try a pair of flat-front odd trousers (odd meaning not matched to a jacket, i.e. not part of a suit) in something like gray flannel (make sure it's machine washable; many are). If you don't like the corduroys, maybe try looking at "athleisure". Everything varies by brand, and sometimes within brands, but the basic idea is that they feel more like sweatpants while appearing office-appropriate. And I think "office sweatpants" seems to sum up a lot of guys' clothing desires.
You didn't mention shoes, but there's a simple progression there, assuming you currently wear sneakers. Step one is a nicer pair of classic sneakers, like a Chuck Taylor or a Samba. Step two is a pair of leather casual shoes, like Doc Martens or Red Wing work boots. Step three is dress shoes, which you really won't need unless you decide to go with the odd trousers.
And if you need slouchy, open-front garments to replaced unzipped hoodies, try either cardigans or unstructured blazers.
One thing I won't suggest is buying a button-front shirt. Presumably, button-front shirts aren't new to you. They're what 75% of adult men (you and me excluded) wear on a daily basis. You've seen innumerable friends and co-workers wearing button-front shirts over the past 20 years, you've had plenty of opportunities to buy button-front shirts in that time, and each time you've decided not to. There's probably a reason, and my guess is that the reason is you don't like them. Go in a direction more similar to what you already like. On top of that, if you want to avoid ironing or dry cleaning, your options are to wear wrinkly shirts (not formal) or to buy non-iron/wrinkle-free shirts, which are stiff and plasticky and generally not comfortable unless you're coming from the other direction of starched shirts and suits and ties.
posted by kevinbelt at 9:51 AM on October 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
Oh yeah, fashion sneakers are great and a whole wallet-sucking rabbit hole if you latch onto it as something to get acquisitive or geeky about. Or just get a couple pairs of Adidas Superstars or something similarly classic in a color that goes with a lot of things.
posted by matildaben at 4:13 PM on October 12, 2018
posted by matildaben at 4:13 PM on October 12, 2018
Cashmere hoodies are the bomb and look slightly fancier than other hoodies.
And yes, you're looking for the waist-length blazer. I think I have five.
Definitely dark jeans. Nothing faded or "distressed."
posted by bendy at 9:05 PM on October 12, 2018
And yes, you're looking for the waist-length blazer. I think I have five.
Definitely dark jeans. Nothing faded or "distressed."
posted by bendy at 9:05 PM on October 12, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by elsietheeel at 7:38 AM on October 12, 2018 [2 favorites]