"top 20" style article about debating/discussing with men?

September 17, 2018 1:23 PM

I'm looking for an article (Buzzfeed, maybe?) that contained a bulleted list of tactics (some) men (allegedly) use when debating with women. It included items like "shift the goalposts" but it was *not* a generic list of debate fallacies. It was, admittedly, a biased listicle, but boy did it describe a very specific situation I observed recently, and I'd like to reread it while cursing and shaking a tiny fist at the universe. Perhaps you can help me find it?

I really thought I'd seen this here, but maybe it just brushed across my Facebook feed, now lost for eternity. A search of AskMe didn't show the reference I thought I'd remembered.

It's not:
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/15/nyregion/men-women-candidates-debates.html
or https://thebestschools.org/magazine/15-logical-fallacies-know/
or https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a19480416/women-changing-mens-minds-feminism-steven-crowder/
It is very definitely not https://illimitablemen.com/2014/03/09/how-women-argue/
It almost could be this, except it's only one bullet point: https://medium.com/@jessicavalenti/yes-demanding-women-debate-you-is-like-catcalling-56d85b025500

Note that I am only looking for a link to the article, not trying to argue its accuracy, and I am definitely not accusing you (general or specific you) of applying any of the tactics.

posted by instamatic to Human Relations (10 answers total)

Was it from this recent post?
posted by Krazor at 1:49 PM on September 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: It isn't (because I read this at least 3 months ago, which I should have mentioned), but it is ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL and may serve exactly the same purpose.

But if anybody else remembers the listicle I am remembering, or has any other possible resources, they will be gratefully received.

* While I print out bingo cards for this item and fling them into the air for all my friends.
posted by instamatic at 2:26 PM on September 17, 2018

This isn't quite right -- it's not a list of male debating techniques -- but seems relevant.
posted by LizardBreath at 2:59 PM on September 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm not sure this satire piece actually fits, but it's what immediately came to mind when I read the post: 9 Non-Threatening Leadership Strategies for Women.
posted by pemberkins at 3:04 PM on September 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: The Rhetorics page and/or List of rhetorics at the Geek Feminism wiki might help.
posted by Wobbuffet at 4:44 PM on September 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

Is it Cracked : “8 Things Some Asshole Says In Every Debate About Sexism”?
posted by snowmentality at 4:44 PM on September 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You
posted by lefty lucky cat at 4:57 PM on September 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

This is not it, but perhaps will be helpful?
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:23 AM on September 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Or perhaps this?
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:27 AM on September 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I'm sad to think that maybe I was mixing and matching the 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You (which I definitely read) with the Geek Feminism wiki (which I think I read some of) in my head.

Not a single one of these suggestions will go to waste, though, so thanks!
posted by instamatic at 12:36 PM on September 19, 2018