If you ain't dutch, you ain't much.

February 14, 2006 1:14 PM

Can anyone translate this? I believe I was just insulted in Dutch, but Babelfish isn't translating more than a word or two, and I don't know much. Dutch.

Here is the message (from a game I have been playing online)
---------------

Subject: klote vent

Message: homo kutvent gatver klojo minne hond dorre struik lelijke aap goore vieze stinkerd

----------------

Does anyone here speak the language? Thanks! Also, is there anyway to say in Dutch 'sorry, that's just part of the game'?

posted by tweak to human relations (12 comments total)

Translation:

subject: stupid man (or something like that, vent translates roughly as bloke, 'kloten' are testicles)

message:

homo = gay
kutvent = 'pussyman' (kut = slang for vagina)
gatver = expression, like "eeuw" (gat = arse)
klojo = general insult, untranslatable
minne = .. I've got no Idea
hond = dog
dorre = don't know either (probably some dialect)
struik = bush (can be used as an isult to mean a total dork)
lelijke aap = ugly monkey
goore vieze stinkerd = filthy ugly stinking guy


I can't imagine what you must have done to deserve such insults :), but the message sounds rather childish to me. Just a bunch of "nasty words" put together..
posted by lodev at 1:38 PM on February 14, 2006

This online translator gave me:

"homo kutvent gatver klojo minne dog arid shrub ugly monkey goore lively stinkerd"

So... yeah, it sounds like your ugly arid dog-shrub-monkey is a lively stinker.

I hope there are real Dutch-speakers (Nederlandophones? What the heck's the word, anyway?) on here, because I'm not helpful.
posted by srah at 1:38 PM on February 14, 2006

From a friend of mine from the Dutch Antilles who speaks Dutch (very general translation -- lots of slang here):

"homo kutvent gatver klojo minne hond dorre struik lelijke aap goore vieze stinkerd"

EQUALS

"hom0sexual female body part (c-word) hole small dog scr0tum stroking ugly monkey disgusting dirty stinking person"

As to your retort:

"sorry, that's just part of the game"
EQUALS
"droevig, dat enkel een deel van het spel"

or a bit better

"deal with it, little Dutch boy"
EQUALS
"Overeenkomst met het, weinig Nederlandse jongen"
posted by wonderwisdom at 1:46 PM on February 14, 2006

I don't want to whine, but why on earth does an awful, word-for-word translation (wonderwisdom) get a best answer, and why does my fine craftmanship get nothing?

"droevig, dat enkel een deel van het spel"" and "Overeenkomst met het, weinig Nederlandse jongen" are sentences that don't even contain a verb!

The correct versions of this retorts would be:
"Sorry, da's een deel van het spel."
or better
"Leer er mee leven, jochie."

Best regards from a Dutch speaking Belgian. (Yes, we don't only speak French here, look it up.)

(ps: On reading it again, by 'dorre struik' he means "dried out bush/shrub". I don't really see why that's insulting, but that's just me.)
posted by lodev at 1:59 PM on February 14, 2006

wonderwisdom's answers to the retort are incorrect.

"sorry, that's just part of the game" is translated as
"sorry, hoort bij het spel".

"deal with it, little Dutch boy" as "leer er mee leven, Nederlands jongetje"

lodev's translation is correct. I think "minne hond" and "dorre struik" are supposed to be read together. "minne" means something like "mean", so "mean dog". a "dorre struik" is a bush that is old and ugly.

I hope that helps.
posted by davar at 2:02 PM on February 14, 2006

You could always console yourself by imagining how silly this would sound if you heard it out loud.
posted by idontlikewords at 2:03 PM on February 14, 2006

(Silly to english-speaking ears, I mean. not trying to diss the dutch language!)
posted by idontlikewords at 2:09 PM on February 14, 2006

I think the insulter is from the north of the Netherlands. I now realize I never hear anyone say "minne" where I live now. Dried out bush is indeed almost a cute insult. Like something that someone learned to say instead of real insults.
posted by davar at 2:11 PM on February 14, 2006

So I take it "bush" doesn't have the same sexual connotation that it does in the US? Cause here that might be a kind of decent insult ("dried out bush") although yeah, kind of half-assed compared to the (quote-unquote) "c-word"
posted by idontlikewords at 4:29 PM on February 14, 2006

What davar said. However, I would think "minne" in this context implies the sense "worthless, paltry" (obscure as the Dutch word may be). See Van Dale on "min". This is, of course, debatable, given the limited (and strange!) context and author.

Seriously, wow - this is infantile. The guy can't be more than fourteen. Anyway, now that the question has been satisfactorily answered, let me offer a less literalist, more interpretative translation (as far as this is possible with such an asinine text):

---------------------------------

Subject: klote vent

Message: homo kutvent gatver klojo minne hond dorre struik lelijke aap goore vieze stinkerd

Subject: asshole

Message: faggot asshole eww dipshit "paltry dog" "barren shrub" "ugly ape" "foul filthy maggot"

---------------------------------

Quotes mine, of course, to denote phrases which would go together in common Dutch usage.

real Dutch-speakers (Nederlandophones? What the heck's the word, anyway?)

"Anglophone", "francophone" etc. derive from French, hence the equivalent would be "neerlandophone". But since that word isn't commonly used in English, "speaker of Dutch" will suffice. :)

Also, is there anyway to say in Dutch 'sorry, that's just part of the game'?

That would be "Sorry, maar dat hoort nou eenmaal bij het spel" to me. Practically speaking, however, given the context and your limited knowledge of Dutch I would avoid getting into a Dutch-language shouting match with him (which you will most likely lose, even given his ineloquent tendencies in his own tongue) but rather tell him how you feel in English (he will most likely understand), or better yet, simply ignore him.

So I take it "bush" doesn't have the same sexual connotation that it does in the US?

No (I am aware of the connotation in English). "Shrub" is meant here.

So, here we are I guess, analysing the incoherent utterances of barely pubescent online gamers. But that's Metafilter, I guess. :)

Just out of curiosity, where did you pick up the (excellent, I must say) expression in the page title? I believe it to be a saying among residents of the US Midwest of Dutch descent, but I never found out the phrase's origin for sure.

Happy gaming, vieze stinkerd!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:11 PM on February 14, 2006

goodnews: I've heard it from many people of Dutch descent, mostly from Western Michigan (Holland and Grand Rapids). That's a classic, my other favorite my dutch friends taught me is, 'how do you confuse a dutchman?' answer: offer to mow his lawn, for free on Sunday.
posted by tweak at 7:15 PM on February 14, 2006

Hehe, that's funny. Thanks, tweak.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:43 AM on February 15, 2006