dialogue and when to start a new paragraph
July 13, 2018 3:01 AM   Subscribe

A few grammar questions about writing dialogue. I know you start a new paragraph every time a new character speaks. What do you do with the following sort of sentence: She was standing in line, thinking to herself, when she heard someone say, "Jane, is that you?"

Also, if there is a sentence (or two sentences) describing something the character is doing, and then he starts speaking, do you start a new paragraph? Is it ok like this?

John hurried around the room, gathering his things, and rushed out the door. "Taxi!" he shouted as he left the building.
posted by colfax to Writing & Language (10 answers total)
 
Best answer: Both the sentences/sequences are grammatically accurate.

If you wrote the second sequence this way:

John hurried around the room, gathering his things, and rushed out the door.

"Taxi!" he shouted as he left the building.

... it reads as unnecessarily fragmented and Dan Brown-esque.
posted by Ziggy500 at 3:12 AM on July 13, 2018 [4 favorites]


As a reader, the thing I find important is that when two or more characters are taking turns talking, each turn in the conversation gets its own paragraph. If a paragraph contains description as well as one turn's worth of a conversation, or if contains a bit of quoted dialogue that isn't part of a conversation, that doesn't bother me much.
posted by nebulawindphone at 3:35 AM on July 13, 2018


John hurried around the room, gathering his things, and rushed out the door. "Taxi!" he shouted as he left the building.

I think this would read better as

John hurried around the room gathering his things, and rushed out the door shouting "Taxi!"
posted by flabdablet at 3:56 AM on July 13, 2018 [1 favorite]


Best answer: There aren't really hard and fast rules for this (outside of specific house styles or whatever). The reason it's usually best practice to separate speakers is to reduce confusion for the reader. If there's some case where you'd prefer to keep two or more speakers' utterances in the same paragraph, then the thing to examine is whether or not the result could be hard for your readers to follow.

For your first example, I don't see that there's any room for confusion. I think it's fine.
posted by trig at 5:32 AM on July 13, 2018 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Either of your examples is just fine.

The rule I have always proselytized is, as soon as somebody else speaks (or does something nonverbal in preparation for speaking), we need a new paragraph.

Note that dialogue where Person X quotes Person Y doesn't require new paragraphs (or "hard returns" as we used to say), unless they're quoting a conversation, like here (around the spot with the line "'You are looking for a situation, miss?' he asked.).

If a paragraph contains description as well as one turn's worth of a conversation, or if contains a bit of quoted dialogue that isn't part of a conversation, that doesn't bother me much.

Agreed, and what's more, a little description now and then helps us keep track of who's saying what in lieu of excessive attributions ("he said"/"she said").
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 5:33 AM on July 13, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yes, this isn’t really a grammar issue, it’s a style issue. And your examples are both fine, and consistent with how many novels published.
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:46 AM on July 13, 2018 [1 favorite]


Best answer: It's all about effect for the reader and how the space on the page directs said reader's attention and sense of contiguity.

Are you trying to show that the dialogue flows from or with the action being described? Then keep it in the same paragraph.

Is the dialogue an interruption in the action or a response to it? Then split the dialogue off into its own paragraph.

Are there multiple characters acting, and only one speaking? Consider whether all of that action flows with the one character's speech, or if the character's dialogue is intended to stand out in some way.

In general, pick a consistent structure for paragraph breaks, have a good reason for choosing that structure, and violate it only rarely when needed for specific effects unachievable by wordcraft alone.
posted by kewb at 6:26 AM on July 13, 2018 [2 favorites]


It's an aesthetic choice based on your personal style and the needs of the scene. How do you want it to be perceived by the reader? Flowing and smooth? Clear and unambiguous? Disjointed and confusing? All of those can be legitimate choices depending on context, and your use of paragraph breaks can help create those effects. I would personally tend to default to starting a new paragraph for anything longer than an exclamation, and for any change of speakers or actors. But if I wanted a particular effect, I would consider deviating from that default. Keep in mind that deviating from an established expectation can be confusing for the reader though, and weigh that in your decision.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 10:15 AM on July 13, 2018


Best answer: Is it ok like this?

I studied manuscript editing at one of the leading schools in the world. The funniest part was the classroom exercises where we'd all individually edit the same pages and then discuss our results. Imagine thirty people, all with college degrees, (almost) all educated in American schools—and this is a self-selected group of people who genuinely care enough about grammar to be sitting in this classroom in the first place. We'd all edit the same prose, and invariably we'd have thirty different versions.

There are (almost) no rules. One of my professors proclaimed that commas were optional except in three cases: series, two independent clauses, and direct address. But I join independent clauses without commas all the time and nobody complains about my prose, so I don't agree with that rule.

The question isn't whether something is okay, but rather, "Will this be understood?" You can break that down with greater nuance—for instance, "How quickly can this be read?"—but your focus is always on being understood. After all, that was the goal when people began writing grammar rules. Those people aren't any smarter than you, and they often disagree with each other.
posted by cribcage at 10:53 AM on July 13, 2018 [4 favorites]


Response by poster: Thanks, everyone!
posted by colfax at 6:08 AM on July 16, 2018


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