Dealing With Hopelessness, Emotions, Shame Over Being Unemployed
June 16, 2018 2:45 AM Subscribe
I have been looking for a job full-time for more than six months. Before that I was running my own business for several years, but it did not make enough money to live on so I am looking for jobs. I am feeling very hopeless, ashamed and fearful because I have not found a job. My partner has a job so we can pay our rent, etc. but I am feeling a lot of shame, fear and hopelessness.
About four years ago I transitioned from one career field into a completely different one: web development. I am self-taught (no boot camp, I did not have the money to attend so I learned on my own). I started a business where I built a website, full stack, with unit and e2e tests, on my own, that has paying users. It wasn't enough income to be sustainable, though, so I decided to apply for full-time web development work.
I thought learning to code, starting my own business and building a website on my own was hard -- well, it was much easier than getting a job as a web developer, at least so far. I have been interviewing since January and have received rejection after rejection.
I get very nervous when I am doing phone screens and tend to blank out and choke. The few jobs where I have progressed through the screens have all been through take-home assignments, which I do better on, but they have still not resulted in offers. I am exhausted because so many of the jobs have lengthy take-home tests or multiple screenings -- every job application requires hours and hours of unpaid labor and frequently the labor is so micro-focused on a specific company or role that it is not transferable to my other applications.
I'm not an engineering genius but I am a VERY hard worker and have had demonstrated success both in web development and in my previous career. But I'm not good at answering questions on the spot. I'm also still learning the algorithms (which I never needed to learn when I was building my website) and I am bad at solving logic problems and data structure questions, even though I get very positive feedback on my actual real-life code and pair programming skills.
My spouse has a job and we have enough money to pay rent but I feel very ashamed that I am not contributing. (I do the housework, cooking, cleaning and bookkeeping. We don't have kids.) My spouse is very supportive but I feel very guilty. I've stopped wanting to socialize because I feel low-energy and ashamed when people ask how the job search is going. I worry that people are judging me and feeling sorry for my spouse because I am not bringing in any income. When we met I was gainfully employed and now for several years I have been depending on him. I worry that I will not get a job and will just end up a failure. I know he does not blame me but he is very stressed because his income is the only one.
I have seen a therapist and will go back. However my therapist and most of my social network are not familiar with the tech world and have been dismissive of the difficulty of the interview process. I am also active in the women in tech community in my city and it seems like everyone has a success story of how they did a bootcamp and got a lucrative new job in months. It feels like there is something wrong with me because I have not had this trajectory.
I'm just so discouraged and would like to hear from other people how they have dealt with constant rejection from job applications over a period of months or years, especially if it is the field of software development. How did you maintain self-esteem and hope even as you had no assurance of employment. What do you wish you had done while you were in the period of unemployment. Thanks in advance.
About four years ago I transitioned from one career field into a completely different one: web development. I am self-taught (no boot camp, I did not have the money to attend so I learned on my own). I started a business where I built a website, full stack, with unit and e2e tests, on my own, that has paying users. It wasn't enough income to be sustainable, though, so I decided to apply for full-time web development work.
I thought learning to code, starting my own business and building a website on my own was hard -- well, it was much easier than getting a job as a web developer, at least so far. I have been interviewing since January and have received rejection after rejection.
I get very nervous when I am doing phone screens and tend to blank out and choke. The few jobs where I have progressed through the screens have all been through take-home assignments, which I do better on, but they have still not resulted in offers. I am exhausted because so many of the jobs have lengthy take-home tests or multiple screenings -- every job application requires hours and hours of unpaid labor and frequently the labor is so micro-focused on a specific company or role that it is not transferable to my other applications.
I'm not an engineering genius but I am a VERY hard worker and have had demonstrated success both in web development and in my previous career. But I'm not good at answering questions on the spot. I'm also still learning the algorithms (which I never needed to learn when I was building my website) and I am bad at solving logic problems and data structure questions, even though I get very positive feedback on my actual real-life code and pair programming skills.
My spouse has a job and we have enough money to pay rent but I feel very ashamed that I am not contributing. (I do the housework, cooking, cleaning and bookkeeping. We don't have kids.) My spouse is very supportive but I feel very guilty. I've stopped wanting to socialize because I feel low-energy and ashamed when people ask how the job search is going. I worry that people are judging me and feeling sorry for my spouse because I am not bringing in any income. When we met I was gainfully employed and now for several years I have been depending on him. I worry that I will not get a job and will just end up a failure. I know he does not blame me but he is very stressed because his income is the only one.
I have seen a therapist and will go back. However my therapist and most of my social network are not familiar with the tech world and have been dismissive of the difficulty of the interview process. I am also active in the women in tech community in my city and it seems like everyone has a success story of how they did a bootcamp and got a lucrative new job in months. It feels like there is something wrong with me because I have not had this trajectory.
I'm just so discouraged and would like to hear from other people how they have dealt with constant rejection from job applications over a period of months or years, especially if it is the field of software development. How did you maintain self-esteem and hope even as you had no assurance of employment. What do you wish you had done while you were in the period of unemployment. Thanks in advance.
Are you open to suggestions for improving your phone screen game?
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:43 AM on June 16, 2018
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 6:43 AM on June 16, 2018
Hi! I'm going through exactly the same first full-time tech job wringer!
I know you mentioned being active in the women in tech communities in your area, but do you also go to meetups that are related to your language, framework, and the front end skills you like best? I think that having technical conversations with other people will help you talk about technical topics in interviews.
Someone recommended this site, which allows you to practice interviewing with another human. I haven't tried it, but maybe it will be helpful.
As for dealing with companies rejecting you, I try not to think about how many have rejected me. I focus on networking and getting interviews, so even if one company turns me down I have a handful of other companies interested in me.
Feel free to message me if you want someone to commiserate with. :)
posted by Lycaste at 7:34 AM on June 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
I know you mentioned being active in the women in tech communities in your area, but do you also go to meetups that are related to your language, framework, and the front end skills you like best? I think that having technical conversations with other people will help you talk about technical topics in interviews.
Someone recommended this site, which allows you to practice interviewing with another human. I haven't tried it, but maybe it will be helpful.
As for dealing with companies rejecting you, I try not to think about how many have rejected me. I focus on networking and getting interviews, so even if one company turns me down I have a handful of other companies interested in me.
Feel free to message me if you want someone to commiserate with. :)
posted by Lycaste at 7:34 AM on June 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
Have you considered going back to your previous career field? Are you set on making it in tech no matter what?
posted by Fukiyama at 9:03 AM on June 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Fukiyama at 9:03 AM on June 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Have you considered doing a boot camp? A lot of them are really aimed at people who can already program, and those are the ones that have the best employment outcomes as well. You might also want to focus your job search on company is that have previously hired out of boot camps, or have relationships with one, because that's a signal that they are at least somewhat open to unusual career paths.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 9:58 AM on June 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by the agents of KAOS at 9:58 AM on June 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
My spouse has a job and we have enough money to pay rent but I feel very ashamed that I am not contributing. (I do the housework, cooking, cleaning and bookkeeping.
YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING. SO MUCH.
Society acts as if "housework, cooking, cleaning and bookkeeping" are just background meaningless tasks that take up no time at all, but, in fact, they are a ton of work! Replacing your work in the household would cost your husband hundreds of dollars a month, if not more. Just doing "the second shift" for myself alone in my own tiny one-bedroom apartment is often more than I can keep on top of, as my excessive takeout bills will attest.
I'm not in tech, so I can't give you career advice, but I bet the reason your husband is being supportive is not just that he's a nice guy--it's that he recognizes that you are continuing to contribute to the household in a very meaningful way despite a time-intensive job search that is both exhausting and demoralizing. Every time you catch yourself thinking that you're not contributing, you should tell yourself, no, in fact, I am doing a lot around here, making our home clean and comfortable so we can feel happy and safe, keeping everyone fed well so we don't have to put our money into expensive and unhealthy take-out, keeping on top of the money so we don't fall into debt. If you're a data-driven person, try taking a few days and directly measuring (like, with a timer!) how much time you are spending "not contributing." I bet you'll be surprised.
posted by praemunire at 10:09 AM on June 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
YOU ARE CONTRIBUTING. SO MUCH.
Society acts as if "housework, cooking, cleaning and bookkeeping" are just background meaningless tasks that take up no time at all, but, in fact, they are a ton of work! Replacing your work in the household would cost your husband hundreds of dollars a month, if not more. Just doing "the second shift" for myself alone in my own tiny one-bedroom apartment is often more than I can keep on top of, as my excessive takeout bills will attest.
I'm not in tech, so I can't give you career advice, but I bet the reason your husband is being supportive is not just that he's a nice guy--it's that he recognizes that you are continuing to contribute to the household in a very meaningful way despite a time-intensive job search that is both exhausting and demoralizing. Every time you catch yourself thinking that you're not contributing, you should tell yourself, no, in fact, I am doing a lot around here, making our home clean and comfortable so we can feel happy and safe, keeping everyone fed well so we don't have to put our money into expensive and unhealthy take-out, keeping on top of the money so we don't fall into debt. If you're a data-driven person, try taking a few days and directly measuring (like, with a timer!) how much time you are spending "not contributing." I bet you'll be surprised.
posted by praemunire at 10:09 AM on June 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
Hi - long time woman in tech here. A couple years ago I tried to go back into a standard work environment after spending a lot of time freelancing and dialing my work back during 'maternity leave'. The whole job search and interview rejection cycle was really discouraging so I can appreciate where you are. Tech interviews are really designed for new cs graduates and people 'already doing the job'. They aren't designed to test potential at doing the job and are particularly unfriendly to people coming from non traditional paths. It sucks and as an industry we need to do better, but in the meantime that is the current lay of the land. That said, if you are committed to getting into tech, here are some general strategies I'd try:
If you don't have the 'crack the code' interview book yet, get it and and start practicing. This will help you with practicing algorithms, data structures, etc. I try to look for 'potential' rather than execution when I'm interviewing people and even with that I need to see that the candidate can reason about a good data structure, even if they can't recite specific algorithms. There's also a website where you can practice. New grads are studying/practicing from this book or something similar, and if you are going to compete with them you need to get familiar with it.
I agree with the PP that considering a non scammy boot camp with a high placement record would be a good option for you. Don't bother with one without a placement procedure, we generally don't put much weight on just boot camp experience when we're evaluating resumes, so you want one with well developed relationships with hiring companies.
If I was putting money towards training (and you haven't said if you can/would), I would also consider the online degree at Georgia Tech. I would seriously weigh that against a boot camp tbh, as I think in general folks in the industry will be more receptive to it than a boot camp.
Network, network, networking. I just met a woman who taught herself iOS after being out of the job market for 15 years. She spent 4 years struggling with her job search, getting repeatedly rejected. In the end it was a contact from a meetup group who ultimately helped her land a job with a company you have heard of, she's been quite successful there, but probably wouldn't have gotten the interview without the referral. You need to be telling everyone you meet you're looking for a job, do they have any ideas.
There are organizations that help people (esp women) reenter the work force, they provide support for job seekers and also facilitate 'returnships', i.e. internships for folks coming back to the workplace, like an internship. iRelaunch
is one org I think is cool (I just attended one of their conferences), there are others, you can search for them under 'career reentry'.
Consider positions that maybe aren't core software engineers but need some degree of technical experience. QA, support engineer, sales engineer, even support or account management at a tech company, can all be possible entry points. If you do this, make sure you ask about internal mobility/ career development/paths so that you aren't necessarily stuck in that position if where you really want to end up is front end development.
You taught yourself a new skill and built your own business, you can do this, you just need to hook up with the right org.
Good luck!
posted by snowymorninblues at 10:30 AM on June 16, 2018 [10 favorites]
If you don't have the 'crack the code' interview book yet, get it and and start practicing. This will help you with practicing algorithms, data structures, etc. I try to look for 'potential' rather than execution when I'm interviewing people and even with that I need to see that the candidate can reason about a good data structure, even if they can't recite specific algorithms. There's also a website where you can practice. New grads are studying/practicing from this book or something similar, and if you are going to compete with them you need to get familiar with it.
I agree with the PP that considering a non scammy boot camp with a high placement record would be a good option for you. Don't bother with one without a placement procedure, we generally don't put much weight on just boot camp experience when we're evaluating resumes, so you want one with well developed relationships with hiring companies.
If I was putting money towards training (and you haven't said if you can/would), I would also consider the online degree at Georgia Tech. I would seriously weigh that against a boot camp tbh, as I think in general folks in the industry will be more receptive to it than a boot camp.
Network, network, networking. I just met a woman who taught herself iOS after being out of the job market for 15 years. She spent 4 years struggling with her job search, getting repeatedly rejected. In the end it was a contact from a meetup group who ultimately helped her land a job with a company you have heard of, she's been quite successful there, but probably wouldn't have gotten the interview without the referral. You need to be telling everyone you meet you're looking for a job, do they have any ideas.
There are organizations that help people (esp women) reenter the work force, they provide support for job seekers and also facilitate 'returnships', i.e. internships for folks coming back to the workplace, like an internship. iRelaunch
is one org I think is cool (I just attended one of their conferences), there are others, you can search for them under 'career reentry'.
Consider positions that maybe aren't core software engineers but need some degree of technical experience. QA, support engineer, sales engineer, even support or account management at a tech company, can all be possible entry points. If you do this, make sure you ask about internal mobility/ career development/paths so that you aren't necessarily stuck in that position if where you really want to end up is front end development.
You taught yourself a new skill and built your own business, you can do this, you just need to hook up with the right org.
Good luck!
posted by snowymorninblues at 10:30 AM on June 16, 2018 [10 favorites]
I'm sorry, I just realized I gave you job search advice when you asked for help managing the emotions associated with the job search.
Barbara Sher says 'isolation is a dream killer' and I think it's really true. A couple of my suggestions involve community and I think that's really important. One of the inspiring things about the conf I attended last month was that it was a room full of job seekers, I so wish I had had that when I was looking for my last position. Instead, I was at home just me and the computer all day with no one to commiserate with.
posted by snowymorninblues at 10:36 AM on June 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Barbara Sher says 'isolation is a dream killer' and I think it's really true. A couple of my suggestions involve community and I think that's really important. One of the inspiring things about the conf I attended last month was that it was a room full of job seekers, I so wish I had had that when I was looking for my last position. Instead, I was at home just me and the computer all day with no one to commiserate with.
posted by snowymorninblues at 10:36 AM on June 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
There’s good advice up there. I just want to remind you that success is not defined by how much money you make. That is an artificial construct created to encourage people to turn over their entire lives to the pursuit of consumer goods. And lots of people are not suited to “40 hours a week, wake up and go to a job matter how you feel”, in order to make money to buy things. Some people are better suited to gathering nuts and berries all day, but our society is constructed so that those people are made to feel useless and lazy. They’re not. They are worthwhile people deserving of respect and love, and so are you. It is possible to contribute to society without having a job.
That said, if you want a job, you may just have to keep looking to find your niche. But you are a worthwhile person either way. You are very intelligent and a hard worker, and you don’t need to feel shame just because others may be too short sighted to see your value.
posted by MexicanYenta at 12:12 PM on June 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
That said, if you want a job, you may just have to keep looking to find your niche. But you are a worthwhile person either way. You are very intelligent and a hard worker, and you don’t need to feel shame just because others may be too short sighted to see your value.
posted by MexicanYenta at 12:12 PM on June 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
Hi!
I am also unemployed, and looking for a job for a while now, and it is so hard! You're doing an extremely hard thing! I'm battling similar emotions, and my therapist had me write down the words that I wished someone would tell me - which I did, and now I can re-read them when I need to, and it's been SO helpful. I want to share them with you, because I believe they are true about you as well (and you can adjust them for your situation, if you want!):
You can do this, I believe in you. Look, you had a couple of interviews already, even if it hasn't worked out yet. But this whole application thing is just hell! That's nothing to do with you, quite the opposite! You are so capable and you're really good at what you do! I'm dead certain that you'll find something. And it doesn't have to be just anything - you can even be choosy! You deserve a job that fulfils you, and makes you happy. And I'm really impressed how brave and disciplined you are - you've done a lot already, and it's really impressive how positive you are, most of the time. You are so valuable, independent of your job (or not-job). Your friends and partner like to spend time with you, and like / love you, and nobody thinks less of you, just because you don't have a job at the moment. Don't you ever stop believing in yourself, and being proud of yourself. I think it's great what you're making of this time, with strength and skill. I am proud of you, and I believe in you - in your qualities, your value, your success. You will make your way, I'm absolutely certain of that.
If you want, PM me :) All the best!
posted by any_name_in_a_storm at 12:41 PM on June 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I am also unemployed, and looking for a job for a while now, and it is so hard! You're doing an extremely hard thing! I'm battling similar emotions, and my therapist had me write down the words that I wished someone would tell me - which I did, and now I can re-read them when I need to, and it's been SO helpful. I want to share them with you, because I believe they are true about you as well (and you can adjust them for your situation, if you want!):
You can do this, I believe in you. Look, you had a couple of interviews already, even if it hasn't worked out yet. But this whole application thing is just hell! That's nothing to do with you, quite the opposite! You are so capable and you're really good at what you do! I'm dead certain that you'll find something. And it doesn't have to be just anything - you can even be choosy! You deserve a job that fulfils you, and makes you happy. And I'm really impressed how brave and disciplined you are - you've done a lot already, and it's really impressive how positive you are, most of the time. You are so valuable, independent of your job (or not-job). Your friends and partner like to spend time with you, and like / love you, and nobody thinks less of you, just because you don't have a job at the moment. Don't you ever stop believing in yourself, and being proud of yourself. I think it's great what you're making of this time, with strength and skill. I am proud of you, and I believe in you - in your qualities, your value, your success. You will make your way, I'm absolutely certain of that.
If you want, PM me :) All the best!
posted by any_name_in_a_storm at 12:41 PM on June 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
Hi - I belong to a great online community of women/nonbinary folks in tech. It's a great place to be as you look for a job (and after you get a job), and we have a lot of people whose road to tech was unconventional/difficult.
Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to know more. I think it would be a supportive place for you.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:04 PM on June 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to know more. I think it would be a supportive place for you.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:04 PM on June 16, 2018 [2 favorites]
I was an unemployed senior web developer for 3.5 years. I totally understand the shame, hopelessness, boredom, lack of structure and money and loneliness that come from being unemployed. I did go to code school which greatly improved my skills and therefore my confidence. Between a scholarship from the school and a small grant from the state I only had to pay half the tuition - that may be something you want to look into.
Here are a few things that worked for me that I share with as many people I can:
- Keep working on projects you like to work on. Cultivate your github. The calendar of dots on your home page shows a dark green dot when you merge or commit to your master branch.
- Keep a personal "portfolio" site that gives employers an central place to see your apps and projects with links to the github repo that contains your code. I'm not sure how deep into these things employers dig but it shows initiative and effort and pride in your work.
- Be prepared to talk about projects. And...
- Go to as many meetups as you possibly can - if you're a woman definitely checkout women in tech meetups. There's a huge women in tech community here in Portland, OR which I definitely aligned myself with - I was going to at least four a week while job hunting.
As a bonus, at the beginning of many of these meetups people from companies that are hiring stand up and give a quick description of what they're looking for and encourage you to approach them for more information. Even if the job doesn't sound like what you're looking for talk to the person about what their company does, what tech stack they use, how their teams are structured.
Extra extra bonus points: get up and do a lightning talk about something you're working on personally and why you like it. Both times I did this several people approached me and asked me more about my projects, talked about their experiences and projects and, especially if they were job-hunting, we shared leads about who was hiring.
Occasionally someone would say, "hey, I have this great idea for a company, want to build me a site for free?" Avoid those people.
Meetups and networking were terrifying to me at first but the more I went to them the easier they got. Socializing became my job and I was paid in free pizza, beer, swag and business cards.
As a bonus meetups are often hosted at tech companies and there are always employees there that you can talk to about the company, the team, the tech stack, if they're hiring, what they're looking for and what advice they'd offer you in your job search.
- For phone screens I always covered my computer screen with answers (Mac Stickies) to questions that I kept getting asked. I had the answers right in front of me. Employers also want to hear about projects you've worked on or are working on now that will make you a good fit for their role.
- There are many many Slack channels about technologies and job-hunting in tech and so on. Join and participate in them.
- Join hackathons, go to job fairs, and non-tech meetups. There's a huge aggregated tech events calendar here in Portland that has countless talks, tutorials, meetups, events, volunteer opportunities, etc. If there's something like that in your community follow it.
For me, in this community, networking was what finally got me the job I have now. I met a woman at a non-tech meetup who introduced me to two of her friends. One of them passed my resume on to a hiring manager at the company and he brought me in for an interview and ultimately offered me a job.
I hope this is helpful. Please feel free to MeMail me - I'd be happy to share more with you and hear about where you are and what you've experienced in your job hunt.
All my best. ❤️
PS. On rereading your question I see that you're active in the women in tech community around you. Those are the women that have the knowledge about tech and can share your frustrations and angst about the job hunt.
Also on reread I dealt with the constant rejection by eventually just seeing every interview as practice. Even if I didn't advance in the process I had a couple more questions and answers to add to my sticky notes, I had more experience in white boarding, I had talked to more people who might be interested in offering me a job later, I had just talked to more people in general. As I cared less I got bolder with my questions: how many people are you interviewing? when do you expect to make a decision? what's the salary range? what are the next steps for me? are there any more questions I can answer for you that would help you make up your mind? can i follow up with you in a few days? what do you like about x technology that you use?
In terms of algorithms and general CS stuff I found these links:
sorting algorithms
four semesters of cs in six hours
sorting algorithms through eastern european dance
Keep doing daily challenges with:
code fights - apparently this has a job-hunting angle
code wars
project euler
MDN is your go-to resource for everything web-related. I use it mainly for javascript but I know there's a ton of other stuff there.
Anyway, I'll stop babbling now. I'm happy to help in any way I can.
posted by bendy at 9:31 PM on June 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
Here are a few things that worked for me that I share with as many people I can:
- Keep working on projects you like to work on. Cultivate your github. The calendar of dots on your home page shows a dark green dot when you merge or commit to your master branch.
- Keep a personal "portfolio" site that gives employers an central place to see your apps and projects with links to the github repo that contains your code. I'm not sure how deep into these things employers dig but it shows initiative and effort and pride in your work.
- Be prepared to talk about projects. And...
- Go to as many meetups as you possibly can - if you're a woman definitely checkout women in tech meetups. There's a huge women in tech community here in Portland, OR which I definitely aligned myself with - I was going to at least four a week while job hunting.
As a bonus, at the beginning of many of these meetups people from companies that are hiring stand up and give a quick description of what they're looking for and encourage you to approach them for more information. Even if the job doesn't sound like what you're looking for talk to the person about what their company does, what tech stack they use, how their teams are structured.
Extra extra bonus points: get up and do a lightning talk about something you're working on personally and why you like it. Both times I did this several people approached me and asked me more about my projects, talked about their experiences and projects and, especially if they were job-hunting, we shared leads about who was hiring.
Occasionally someone would say, "hey, I have this great idea for a company, want to build me a site for free?" Avoid those people.
Meetups and networking were terrifying to me at first but the more I went to them the easier they got. Socializing became my job and I was paid in free pizza, beer, swag and business cards.
As a bonus meetups are often hosted at tech companies and there are always employees there that you can talk to about the company, the team, the tech stack, if they're hiring, what they're looking for and what advice they'd offer you in your job search.
- For phone screens I always covered my computer screen with answers (Mac Stickies) to questions that I kept getting asked. I had the answers right in front of me. Employers also want to hear about projects you've worked on or are working on now that will make you a good fit for their role.
- There are many many Slack channels about technologies and job-hunting in tech and so on. Join and participate in them.
- Join hackathons, go to job fairs, and non-tech meetups. There's a huge aggregated tech events calendar here in Portland that has countless talks, tutorials, meetups, events, volunteer opportunities, etc. If there's something like that in your community follow it.
For me, in this community, networking was what finally got me the job I have now. I met a woman at a non-tech meetup who introduced me to two of her friends. One of them passed my resume on to a hiring manager at the company and he brought me in for an interview and ultimately offered me a job.
I hope this is helpful. Please feel free to MeMail me - I'd be happy to share more with you and hear about where you are and what you've experienced in your job hunt.
All my best. ❤️
PS. On rereading your question I see that you're active in the women in tech community around you. Those are the women that have the knowledge about tech and can share your frustrations and angst about the job hunt.
Also on reread I dealt with the constant rejection by eventually just seeing every interview as practice. Even if I didn't advance in the process I had a couple more questions and answers to add to my sticky notes, I had more experience in white boarding, I had talked to more people who might be interested in offering me a job later, I had just talked to more people in general. As I cared less I got bolder with my questions: how many people are you interviewing? when do you expect to make a decision? what's the salary range? what are the next steps for me? are there any more questions I can answer for you that would help you make up your mind? can i follow up with you in a few days? what do you like about x technology that you use?
In terms of algorithms and general CS stuff I found these links:
sorting algorithms
four semesters of cs in six hours
sorting algorithms through eastern european dance
Keep doing daily challenges with:
code fights - apparently this has a job-hunting angle
code wars
project euler
MDN is your go-to resource for everything web-related. I use it mainly for javascript but I know there's a ton of other stuff there.
Anyway, I'll stop babbling now. I'm happy to help in any way I can.
posted by bendy at 9:31 PM on June 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
I’m sorry, tech/software interviews can majorly suck. Most of the people doing the interviews are not supported to succeed in finding good developers, and so the entire process is driven toward a situation bad for everyone. You end up in a very stressful interview, often eating up hours of your time, unpaid, and usually doing work that has little to do with the real daily work at the specific job. The interviewer(s) will often fall into one of two groups. The first have pressure to just find someone, without any concessions to getting their primary work done, so the process is disorganized and unprofessional. It can also turn into an ego boost session, with the questioning devolving into a toxic trivia contest. The second group is “HR professionals” who are primarily tasked with hiring people; but this group will have little insight into the real work, and do not have the background to evaluate your skills. Then, the organization hiring loses out because the hiring filter is terrible.
There was a great talk on this last year at PyCon, where Susan Tan talked about interviewing at 100 companies.
So, since everything is not awesome, here’s what I think you can do to help yourself out:
Schedule time for yourself around interviews. You already recognize the stress involved, so give yourself time to slow down and calm both before and after. Plan to have something that makes you happy both before and after.
Take it slow. When you get a question, take a breath before trying to answer. Repeat the question, ask questions about the question, where appropriate. It’s easy to get rushed and flustered when nervous, and just allowing yourself a few seconds of delay can help.
Practice logic puzzles and data structure problems. These are going to show up, and getting a bit of practice where there are not high stakes will let you be more confident in interviews when a wild explain-red-black-trees appears. (You use answer joking about bringing balance to the force; it’s super effective!)
Turn the table and interview them. Remember that it does no good to ace an interview if you would hate working for/with these people. Ask what a normal day is like, ask for an example of an abnormal day, ask about frequency and length and types of meetings. Ask ask ask.
Finally, I want to echo previous comments, and mention that you are doing a lot and contributing to your relationship and household. Please do not minimize your efforts there. Good luck continuing to navigate tech interviews!
posted by jraenar at 9:43 AM on June 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
There was a great talk on this last year at PyCon, where Susan Tan talked about interviewing at 100 companies.
So, since everything is not awesome, here’s what I think you can do to help yourself out:
Schedule time for yourself around interviews. You already recognize the stress involved, so give yourself time to slow down and calm both before and after. Plan to have something that makes you happy both before and after.
Take it slow. When you get a question, take a breath before trying to answer. Repeat the question, ask questions about the question, where appropriate. It’s easy to get rushed and flustered when nervous, and just allowing yourself a few seconds of delay can help.
Practice logic puzzles and data structure problems. These are going to show up, and getting a bit of practice where there are not high stakes will let you be more confident in interviews when a wild explain-red-black-trees appears. (You use answer joking about bringing balance to the force; it’s super effective!)
Turn the table and interview them. Remember that it does no good to ace an interview if you would hate working for/with these people. Ask what a normal day is like, ask for an example of an abnormal day, ask about frequency and length and types of meetings. Ask ask ask.
Finally, I want to echo previous comments, and mention that you are doing a lot and contributing to your relationship and household. Please do not minimize your efforts there. Good luck continuing to navigate tech interviews!
posted by jraenar at 9:43 AM on June 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
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posted by parmanparman at 3:36 AM on June 16, 2018 [1 favorite]