Keeping metaphorical foot on metaphorical pedal

June 14, 2018 10:10 PM

How do you keep up the energy to sustain initiatives, particularly if you have to put in a lot of the energy?

I'm not very good anyway at keeping going on stuff. I have great ideas but lose willpower or, more often literally forget about stuff so I will start a diet, keep it up for a week and then not just slip up but genuinely forget all about it...
So given that I'm not great at this kind of thing when it's just me, I find it even harder when I have to put in the energy to keep others going too- eg getting a reluctant child to practice reading every night or pushing forward improvements to team dynamic that need a bit of encouragement.
How do you keep that momentum going and specifically encourage others to keep going without nagging or getting frustrated?

posted by KateViolet to Human Relations (3 answers total)

Recruit 1-3 other people (depends on the scope of the project) to be formalized co-lead on these team initiatives with you. You have to get out of the mindset that they are your initiatives if you really want buy in.

How do you do this? You identify and authentically acknowledge (this part can’t be forced or it will be awkward for both you and them, and feel like a set up) both what makes this person an awesome candidate for co-leader (ex. you are extremely adept at _______; I really look up to your ability to ______) and your shared commitment to whatever the positive outcome you want is (ex. we both care a lot about this team and want to see everyone on it thrive).

This process of recruiting others to take over all or part of a previously personal project/goal is often daunting because in my experience we want things to go perfectly, happen exactly on our terms, and we like the idea that we can do all these things alone. But the reality is you WILL burn out if you keep these things limited to you alone.

And once you get past the awkwardness/letting go of control to be able to invite others to join you, amazing things will arise ( even when you get a no!). People will refer you to someone they know who is a better fit, or offer a solution you would not in a million years have thought of that solves the entire thing, or sometimes they’ll decline but you will have really made a difference to them by acknowledging them.

Go forth and give your projects away! You got this!
posted by seemoorglass at 4:19 AM on June 15, 2018

My mantra is: with effort, all things are accomplished. May I complete the perfection of effort.

After a few years it's really helped. Any time I have that whiny "but I don't waaant to" I counter with the mantra.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:31 AM on June 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

Echoing seemoorglass, what works best for me is external structure. It doesn't even have to be that the other person or people are working on a shared project. I might recruit friends for similar or parallel projects and then have daily check-ins. This has worked GREAT for building a daily meditation practice -- having 2-3 others, and we all text a group chat when we meditate. No shame in anyone who misses a day, but lots of friendly reminders throughout the day, and cheering when anyone achieves our goals.

I also find it helpful to actually schedule a time for certain things in the calendar (this works best for me during the work day, when I live and die by my calendar, but can also work for the occasional evening, and could be a buildable habit) so I don't have to decide to do them, I just have to do them when I've scheduled them. Separation the decision to do it and the doing it is helpful for me.

I've gotten some value out of using a daily habit tracking app, too, especially one that connects to friends, like habitica. I have stopped using it for the time being but it was a huge help in developing some desirable daily habits, and I'm likely to turn to it again when I have more like that I want to develop.
posted by spindrifter at 5:19 AM on June 17, 2018