Paying Rent

February 8, 2006 1:23 PM

I live with my roommate, at first we came to an agreement that I pay two hundred dollars more a month for 2/1. Is this fair?

I pay 800 he pays 600. I was wondering since we share bathrooms if this is fair to me. I think 200 is way too much. I don't have financial problems. But I know I can find someone to live their for 650 and I pay 750. I am only asking for 50 less to pay and the separation would only be 100. I do not know how to approach him in regards to it, I don't want to hurt his feelings or ruin our friendship.

posted by Gabe014 to human relations (38 comments total)

For 2/1 what?
posted by jon_kill at 1:27 PM on February 8, 2006

Doesn't matter if it is fair or not, it is what you agreed on. What if the only reason he agreed to that split is that is only what he can afford?

You said you can pay for it, suck it up and stick to your word.
posted by Loto at 1:29 PM on February 8, 2006

Why are you paying 200 more? Do you have a bigger bedroom? Is he paying more of the utilities? Why did you come to this agreement?

It's hard to say whether it's fair or not with no idea why you're paying more money than the roommate.

Is it really worth $50/month to you to cause that much tension? Depending on what you're making at work, etc, this could be a really paltry amount of money to battle over.
posted by twiggy at 1:29 PM on February 8, 2006

It's fair because you agreed to do it. It's fair because the other party agreed to it. What would not be fair would be evicting the roommate and begining the search for a new roommate to foot more of the bill.

But out of curiosity, whose name is on the lease?
posted by bilabial at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2006

I'm not sure what "2/1" means. And is this $200 more a month for the time you live together or just one month (I'm guessing 2/1 means for the month of Feb???)

At any rate, for perspective I share a house with two others and have the master with my own bath and I pay 100 more, every month, than the smallest room with shared bath. To me, it is completely worth it (huge room and closet, double sink, separate bath) which is why I lunged at the deal. Like others said, if you've already made the deal why are you balking now?
posted by like_neon at 1:38 PM on February 8, 2006

Ohh i think I got it. "2/1" meant "for a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom".

I still think if you came to an agreement already there isn't much more you can do about it.

"I don't have financial problems." So suck it up. =)
posted by like_neon at 1:41 PM on February 8, 2006

I live with my roommate, at first we came to an agreement that I pay two hundred dollars more a month for 2/1. Is this fair?

Although my initial impulse is to say: Yes, you holding up your side of the agreeement is VERY fair, I don't know what "2/1" means, either. But, yeah, consider what effect you reneging on a mutual agreement would have on your friendship.
posted by jtron at 1:43 PM on February 8, 2006

You should have asked this question before you agreed to do it, yes? As it is now it seems like it's too late to question anything.
posted by xmutex at 1:52 PM on February 8, 2006

A 2/1 is two bedrooms, one bath.

None of us can say what's "fair" in this case, except we do know that you agreed to something with someone you consider a friend, and now you want to renege over $50/mo, even though you "don't have financial problems".

So, maybe you made an agreement you've come to regret. Maybe you've got a nicer bedroom, or maybe you're helping out a poorer friend. We don't know. But reneging just because you're paying 200 extra instead of 150 extra is pretty mingy.
posted by adamrice at 1:56 PM on February 8, 2006

$50/mo is not worth tension with roommates or a friends. These people (and your relationship with them) do a lot to affect the quality of your life.
posted by fidelity at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2006

Why are you paying more? The original post doesn't tell us anything -- assuming it's a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom we'd expect that the bedrooms are roughly equal and you'd each pay $700. If you're implying your roommate does have financial problems then it's up to you whether you feel like paying his way. I'd personally suggest having a roommate you know can pay the rent.

If you made this arrangement for some reason we haven't guessed, is it possible he could pay the majority of the utilities in the interest of fairness?
posted by mikeh at 2:02 PM on February 8, 2006

at first we came to an agreement that I pay two hundred dollars more

...because?

Seriously. You've told the story and missed out the most important part.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 2:04 PM on February 8, 2006

You are free to change your mind if you no longer think the difference is fair. Feel free to bring this up with your friend if you'd like. I think it'd be as easy as, "You know I was thinking I'm no longer comfortable paying $200 a month more than you for this place, how about we talk about making it $150 more than you, or maybe we agree that you'll buy a case of fancy beer that we wouldn't usually splurge on for us to share at the beginning of each month. What do you think about that roomie?"
posted by pwb503 at 2:16 PM on February 8, 2006

As other said, you've left out a lot of important info. That said, just because you agreed to a deal doesn't mean you can't renegotiate. As far as how to approach him, why can't you just say, "hey, we had this deal before but lately I've felt like" blah blah blah?

It's not rocket science. How do you decide what to get on your pizza? Just talk it out.
posted by phearlez at 2:37 PM on February 8, 2006

If it's only over $50/month, there is no way that broaching the subject would be worth the tension it's going to cause. You made a deal (given that you're sharing a bathroom, I can't see how it could have been a good deal for you, unless you've got a huge bedroom and he has the closet, but you made it anyway); now you've got to live with it. To avoid being bothered by this, focus on the positive: you don't have financial problems, so you're lucky enough to be able to make this mistake this one time, and it's a learning experience - you'll not make more costly mistakes of the same kind later in life.
posted by Dasein at 2:43 PM on February 8, 2006

That's totally unfair! You should tell him that the agreement sucks and that you're going to move out unless he pays you $50 a month (although I'd make it $100). I'm assuming, of course, that you and he have both equal bedrooms and usage of the space.
posted by Four Flavors at 2:43 PM on February 8, 2006

Yes, you really gave us no information on which to offer an opinion.

If the rooms are equal size and you are sharing a bathroom, then an even split is common sense, unless 1.) he can't afford it, and you (for some reason I can't fathom) were okay with taking up the slack, or 2.) there was an understanding that you would be using more of the utiltities/bathroom/living space that warranted the disparity.

If it's #1, unless this roommate is your best friend or family member, and most cases even if it is, I have no idea why you'd agree to pay more, but you did, tough. If it's #2, make sure you're getting your money's worth so you don't feel cheated. (For example, I'm paying $15 more a month in a 2-2 because I claimed the "cool" upstairs bedroom and have easier access to the storage closet, which I use a lot.)

In either case, once you agreed to it and if both of your names are on the lease, quit complaining. On the otherhand, if only one of you are on the lease, you can either move out or kick him out. Or keep the status quo. I guess if you want to find a new roommate, make up a financial difficulty because any other reason will probably ruin the friendship (though lying could too).
posted by lychee at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2006

You're a jerk for making a deal about living arrangements and then reconsidering. How would you feel if your roommate was the one on the lease and you weren't, and he decided that since yours is the bigger room and he now resents the deal you already made and agreed to and shook hands on, he wants you to pay $50 more? Stop being a greedy asshole that you're imagining breaking your word and kicking the guy out over $50. I'm sure glad I'm not your roommate, and I hope the world treats you as callously and shallowly as you treat it.
posted by evariste at 2:52 PM on February 8, 2006

I can't really answer this until I know why you agreed to pay $200 extar every month. That said, you did agree.

I also don't like that you gave the first poster who didn't say "What? Why?" or "deal with it" Best Answer. I get the feeling you just wanted to someone to say, "Agreement, schmagreement! You're getting boned! Do what you want!"

Bad faith question IMO.
posted by jenovus at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2006

Bad faith question IMO.

agreed. especially considering the "What? Why?" or "deal with it" answers constitute a large majority.
posted by juv3nal at 3:33 PM on February 8, 2006

I agree with everything jenovus just said. And that there's not enough information in your question for anyone to give you advice. Why are you paying more? Are you getting a slightly sweeter deal? Is that all your housemate could afford when you guys were househunting and you offered to make up the shortfall because that's the place you really wanted? If, for example, either of these are the case, you should really just accept that you made an agreement that, barring any financial hardship on your part, you should honour. But again, it's impossible to say until you offer a bit of back-story.
posted by hot soup girl at 3:50 PM on February 8, 2006

Judging by the fact that poster has marked an answer as "Best" (not a good solution, IMO, just postponing it for another day) but not responded to queries for more info, I think he was just looking for validation of the decision he's already made.

I, too, am curious why the split was originally the way it was, and why you suddenly think it's not fair anymore. Without that info, there's nothing to say other than, "Suck it up. The only time to re-negotiate this is when your lease is up for renewal."
posted by mkultra at 3:52 PM on February 8, 2006

Agree with jenevus down. But if fishing for the 1 semi-positive feedback out of 14 is what you were looking for I guess problem solved.

I'm not saying pwb answer is not valid. It very well could be if given more information about the circumstances as requested.
posted by like_neon at 4:06 PM on February 8, 2006

More information definitely required.

I would say that when you make an arrangement like that, you should keep it for the period of the lease. If your lease is shorter than 1 year, I think 1 year is fair assuming no extenuating circumstances.

Changing this kind of an arrangement can be difficult, yes, but at the same time, you shouldn't be held to it for all eternity.

How would I approach it? Assuming your lease is up, I would suggest looking for a new place, because you can't really afford this one anymore. If the other person doesn't particularly want to go through the hassle of moving and feels that he/she could chip in more, he/she should offer more of the rent.
posted by trevyn at 4:51 PM on February 8, 2006

[a few comments removed, the guy's been on Mefi for all of three weeks, he's been gone for like six hours, please chill out on the insults, or save them for MetaTalk]
posted by jessamyn at 5:29 PM on February 8, 2006

I don't agree with the name-calling, but it should be noted he *has* come in here because he passed over like 10 requests for more info before marking the deviant "best" answer.
posted by like_neon at 6:09 PM on February 8, 2006

Being here for three weeks doesn't make him stupid. This is pretty clearly a case of asking in bad faith, IMO, and I think it's disrespectful to come into a thread, not answer people's questions, but make clear that you've been in. That's the more serious issue here. AskMe's a lot less satisfying if that sort of behaviour goes on.
posted by Dasein at 6:59 PM on February 8, 2006

I think these comments are solving part of the issue, though.

If his plan to justify the increase is "show roommate MetaFilter thread", then that plan breaks down, because the thread now includes innumerable requests for more information, and (correct) notes that we really need information on why the existing deal is unfair, and how the original deal came to pass.

Additionally, if somebody has this problem in the future and they attempt to reference this question, they'd need to willfully ignore the majority of the thread in order to walk away thinking "I am totally correct to do this, no matter what."

Unfortunately, this is hardly the first time that somebody used AskMe to try to justify a stance, rather than to seek actual advice. It also won't be the last.
posted by I Love Tacos at 7:09 PM on February 8, 2006

Lots of people here are assuming that the two bedrooms are the same size. However, I had two friends who rented a 2-bedroom that had vastly different bedrooms, and the one with the larger room paid more.

However, the key here is honesty up front. If you've both signed a lease, and made this informal rent-split orally between yourselves, then you are putting this other guy in a real bind. He's obligated to pay half, since that's the requirement on the lease, but he only agreed to that on the reduced-rent agreement between you two.

If you are the only person on the lease, and you've brought him in informally, then you're basically just screwing the guy out of $50/month. He probably won't move out over it, because moving is a huge pain, but he'll feel like you lied to him up front and used him after it was too late.

If you bring this up, be prepared to end the friendship in a bitter fashion. Of the two roommate disputes I've ever had, one has ended the friendship completely - and the "bad guy" in that situation has lost several mutual friends over it. Trust me, any friends you have in common will "take sides" and it probably won't be your side.

Before you do this, seriously try to imagine how you would feel if your roommate came to you and said, "I know that you make more money than I do, so I think it would be more fair for me to pay $50 less each month."

Also, since you've marked as "best" the only answer that validates your question, it really does seem that you were seeking validation over advice. I know some folks have piled on here, but try to read their comments from the perspective of someone who has been screwed by a roommate before - most of us have, and the rest eventually will be.
posted by MrZero at 8:38 PM on February 8, 2006

Dear Economist, please answer my rent splitting problem!
posted by anthill at 8:46 PM on February 8, 2006

When I had a roommate, I took the bigger room and he paid less because he was poorer. Now I live with my girlfriend and share the bigger room. Problem solved.
Why did you agree to take the bigger payment? The honorable thing is to continue to honor the agreement, even if you make it clear that things will change when you renew the lease. If your roommate is cool with paying more money good on 'im, but it wouldn't be cool to force him.

Seriously, that was the best answer?
posted by klangklangston at 8:47 PM on February 8, 2006

I pay 800 he pays 600. I was wondering since we share bathrooms if this is fair to me.

you have an oral contract with your roommate ... it doesn't matter if it's "fair", you agreed with it

straight up - if you had made this deal with me and then insisted on backing out of it, i'd move out as soon as possible and quit regarding you as a friend

when it's time to renew the lease, you are then free to renegotiate ... i wouldn't like it, but i would accept your asking for it and try not to let it affect our friendship even if i did decline and move out

if you want to be known as a man or woman of your word, you have to keep it
posted by pyramid termite at 9:08 PM on February 8, 2006

If your roommate isn't on the lease, he can probably screw you over by, say, moving out at the very end of the month and making it harder for you to fill that space. Meaning you'd be stuck paying a full month's rent.

And if he is on the lease, you're just making your own living situation miserable by treating him like that. If you made a verbal agreement, stick to it or prepare for the end of your friendship.

I'm guessing, judging by the prices, that you live somewhere like Brooklyn. (Either that or you've got a pricey apartment in a less pricey city.)

If money is really no object for you, I'm sure you can find a studio or 1 BR on craigslist or the like for the same price or a little more.

As soon as your lease is up, move into your own place. You won't have to have these problems then.
posted by anjamu at 10:30 PM on February 8, 2006

I'm assuming the 2/1 means two bedrooms to his/her roommate's one bedroom, but it could also mean that Gabe is sharing his/her room(s) with a girlfriend/boyfriend. Either way, you agreed to the deal and should honor it, particularly if finances aren't a problem. You could probably find a better deal if you start looking for a new place, and if it's bothering you that much perhaps you should.

I had a gf who shared her place with a roommate. She paid more because she had the master bedroom and bath, but her roommate started demanding that my gf pay 2/3 of the rent because I was visiting a lot and spending a few nights a week there (I thought stocking the fridge and ordering take out for everybody made up for the electricity etc. I was using). My gf adamantly refused and asked her roommate to move out if she didn't like the arrangement, which she did.
posted by Devils Slide at 11:30 PM on February 8, 2006

um i think this answer is pretty much useless until Gabe014 clearly explains his situation.
posted by crewshell at 4:10 AM on February 9, 2006

You are free to change your mind if you no longer think the difference is fair. Feel free to bring this up with your friend if you'd like. I think it'd be as easy as, "You know I was thinking I'm no longer comfortable paying $200 a month more than you for this place, how about we talk about making it $150 more than you, or maybe we agree that you'll buy a case of fancy beer that we wouldn't usually splurge on for us to share at the beginning of each month. What do you think about that roomie?"

Roomie: "I told you before how much I was willing to pay. I can't afford to pay $50 more. I have nowhere else to live.

Now what do you do? Do you think the dude is just going to do whatever you say with regards to rent? By all means, have a talk with him if you want, but know what your next step is going to be in the event that he says "no" to your request.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:39 AM on February 9, 2006

I once shared a flat 50%-50% with a friend. After a month or two (don't remember now. this was a very long time ago) she told me she thought the arrangement wasn't fair because I had the larger bedroom.

I wouldn't have minded thinking about it before signing the lease. Her opening the issue AFTER she had already moved in felt very unfair. At that point it was obvious that I could either give in to her or have a sour-faced roommate for the rest of the lease (at the end of the lease I left. I am not in contact with this person any more. and yes, for the sake of peace I agreed to resplit the rent).
posted by mirileh at 5:00 AM on February 9, 2006

I agree with others. You agreed to this arrangement, so lie in the bed you've made.

When the lease is up for renewal, then it's okay to negotiate because your monthly rent will likely change. So discuss it then.
posted by elisabeth r at 6:34 AM on February 9, 2006