How do I handle dog separation anxiety from a room away?
June 11, 2018 8:12 AM Subscribe
My dog absolutely must be put in a kennel inside an enclosing room when guests are over. He is good if I am in the same room, but as soon as I try to leave, he starts crying. I don't know how to fix this, because he is usually treats/praise motivated.
Dog is 'my dog' and always wants to be with me like everywhere. He gets super sad even being closed out of the bedroom for the night. He has a big kennel - one of those metal 5x5 ones - with toys and food and good things that he doesn't actually mind being in - as long as he can see me. However, this kennel is in the garage and must be in the garage because he can't be near strangers. When we have guests over, I can't just live in the garage - I come visit him sometimes, but I can't stay out there.
He is always good as I am opening the door to leave, he starts crying and barking immediately as soon as the door shuts on the other side and stops crying when the door opens. So I'm finding it really hard to correct, because I can't really food- or praise- him from the other side of the door.
Please help! A family member is coming to visit for a week and my neighbors may just murder me if I don't sort this out.
Dog is 'my dog' and always wants to be with me like everywhere. He gets super sad even being closed out of the bedroom for the night. He has a big kennel - one of those metal 5x5 ones - with toys and food and good things that he doesn't actually mind being in - as long as he can see me. However, this kennel is in the garage and must be in the garage because he can't be near strangers. When we have guests over, I can't just live in the garage - I come visit him sometimes, but I can't stay out there.
He is always good as I am opening the door to leave, he starts crying and barking immediately as soon as the door shuts on the other side and stops crying when the door opens. So I'm finding it really hard to correct, because I can't really food- or praise- him from the other side of the door.
Please help! A family member is coming to visit for a week and my neighbors may just murder me if I don't sort this out.
Have you tried a kong stuffed with dog-safe peanut butter or other treats? You can freeze them to make it last longer. There are lots of other types of treat puzzles that might work, too.
posted by amarynth at 8:19 AM on June 11, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by amarynth at 8:19 AM on June 11, 2018 [4 favorites]
(P.S. Shocking failure to pay dog tax!)
posted by praemunire at 8:21 AM on June 11, 2018 [16 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 8:21 AM on June 11, 2018 [16 favorites]
Kong with peanut butter.
posted by so fucking future at 8:27 AM on June 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by so fucking future at 8:27 AM on June 11, 2018 [1 favorite]
I don't know how to fix this, because he is usually treats/praise motivated.
I don’t think it matters in this case; treats and praise reinforce behavior, not the absence of a behavior. If you were to repeatedly appear and dispense goodies, you’d only be reinforcing the crying and barking. A Kong or other sustained project is potential distraction, but the longer-term solution is going to be gradual acclimatization to being alone. Put him in the box and hang around a while until he relaxes. Leave the room for just a moment and return, waiting without fanfare until he relaxes again. Gradually extend the duration of those absences. Slowly begin closing the door.
As noted above, it’s a long, grueling process that can’t be rushed no matter how soon your relative is coming.
posted by jon1270 at 8:38 AM on June 11, 2018 [6 favorites]
I don’t think it matters in this case; treats and praise reinforce behavior, not the absence of a behavior. If you were to repeatedly appear and dispense goodies, you’d only be reinforcing the crying and barking. A Kong or other sustained project is potential distraction, but the longer-term solution is going to be gradual acclimatization to being alone. Put him in the box and hang around a while until he relaxes. Leave the room for just a moment and return, waiting without fanfare until he relaxes again. Gradually extend the duration of those absences. Slowly begin closing the door.
As noted above, it’s a long, grueling process that can’t be rushed no matter how soon your relative is coming.
posted by jon1270 at 8:38 AM on June 11, 2018 [6 favorites]
I've used praemunire's technique, but I treated before the (in my case) barking started.
We started in the small room, and I'd hold up my pointer finger and look my dog in the eye and firmly but gently say BE QUIET. And I'd hold up my finger and back out the door, shut it, and then 10 seconds later (before she could bark), I'd open the door and praise her and give her a premium treat. Then do it again (finger, eye contact, BE QUIET, back out slowly), wait 15 seconds, treat. Then double the time each time (one minute, two minutes, three minutes, five minutes, eight, ten, fifteen, thirty, an hour, two hours) and treat each time. We had to restart once and start over at 10 seconds, but only once. Eventually we got up to eight hours, and she never anxiety-barked again.
We went from being threatened with eviction to total silence from her in a weekend. It was awesome.
posted by mochapickle at 8:43 AM on June 11, 2018 [27 favorites]
We started in the small room, and I'd hold up my pointer finger and look my dog in the eye and firmly but gently say BE QUIET. And I'd hold up my finger and back out the door, shut it, and then 10 seconds later (before she could bark), I'd open the door and praise her and give her a premium treat. Then do it again (finger, eye contact, BE QUIET, back out slowly), wait 15 seconds, treat. Then double the time each time (one minute, two minutes, three minutes, five minutes, eight, ten, fifteen, thirty, an hour, two hours) and treat each time. We had to restart once and start over at 10 seconds, but only once. Eventually we got up to eight hours, and she never anxiety-barked again.
We went from being threatened with eviction to total silence from her in a weekend. It was awesome.
posted by mochapickle at 8:43 AM on June 11, 2018 [27 favorites]
This podcast describes a technique similar to mochapickle's, but a little different. I recently used it for a new greyhound I adopted who was barking and crying when we left the apartment - you could hear her piercing barks from outside the building and we were so scared of getting in trouble with neighbors. We did the alone training over one long weekend, and while it wasn't the night and day difference the podcast describes (possibly because we didn't do it enough), we made progress very quickly. We have a web camera set up to watch her while we're at work or away so we know how she's doing.
It's a little contradictory to the conventional wisdom about separation anxiety, which posits that any attention is good attention, so you shouldn't return when the dog is barking/crying. But this method says to leave, wait for the barking/whining to begin, go back in and stand next to the crate and say "HEY" or "BE QUIET" one time, finger pointed or raised. You keep standing there, not repeating the command but having a calm, commanding presence, until the dog lies down and is relaxed. Sometimes this takes a while and feels silly, but the dog will eventually submit. The idea is that you are not rewarding the anxiety behavior - you're correcting it and teaching the dog that they should be relaxed in their crate.
You're also supposed to put the dog in their crate 15-20 mins before you leave - ignoring them the whole time, and also leave them in the crate and ignore them for 15 mins or so when you return. I recognize your situation is different but perhaps you can adjust things to have a similar affect - puttering around the garage but ignoring the dog for 15 min before you leave and after you return.
The other part of it includes not showering the dog with affection even when you are home. Rewarding a velcro dog with over the top affection can encourage their anxiety rather than ease it - you want to teach them to be confident in themselves and not depend on your presence to feel comfortable and calm. This part is really hard.
You can also talk to your vet about anxiety medication. Not sedatives, but anti-anxiety drugs that can be used while you are doing alone training to take the edge off. When I was asking friends for advice, many said they used drugs for the first weeks/months of alone training but were able to wean the dog off of them as the training took hold. We got some drugs for our dog but stopped using them pretty quickly. It is nice to have them on hand for those days when our routine is off (which is when the dog is more likely to be upset.)
We also give her a frozen Kong stuffed with PB, wet food, and crunchy treats when we leave which distracts her while we are leaving. Before we started the training, she'd finish the Kong and then start barking but now she finishes it and just goes to sleep. Last Saturday marked 4 weeks since we adopted her and she's now totally fine when we leave as part of our normal work routine. Going out at night or on weekends might lead to a little whining but she doesn't bark any more and things are getting better every time.
posted by misskaz at 9:30 AM on June 11, 2018 [4 favorites]
It's a little contradictory to the conventional wisdom about separation anxiety, which posits that any attention is good attention, so you shouldn't return when the dog is barking/crying. But this method says to leave, wait for the barking/whining to begin, go back in and stand next to the crate and say "HEY" or "BE QUIET" one time, finger pointed or raised. You keep standing there, not repeating the command but having a calm, commanding presence, until the dog lies down and is relaxed. Sometimes this takes a while and feels silly, but the dog will eventually submit. The idea is that you are not rewarding the anxiety behavior - you're correcting it and teaching the dog that they should be relaxed in their crate.
You're also supposed to put the dog in their crate 15-20 mins before you leave - ignoring them the whole time, and also leave them in the crate and ignore them for 15 mins or so when you return. I recognize your situation is different but perhaps you can adjust things to have a similar affect - puttering around the garage but ignoring the dog for 15 min before you leave and after you return.
The other part of it includes not showering the dog with affection even when you are home. Rewarding a velcro dog with over the top affection can encourage their anxiety rather than ease it - you want to teach them to be confident in themselves and not depend on your presence to feel comfortable and calm. This part is really hard.
You can also talk to your vet about anxiety medication. Not sedatives, but anti-anxiety drugs that can be used while you are doing alone training to take the edge off. When I was asking friends for advice, many said they used drugs for the first weeks/months of alone training but were able to wean the dog off of them as the training took hold. We got some drugs for our dog but stopped using them pretty quickly. It is nice to have them on hand for those days when our routine is off (which is when the dog is more likely to be upset.)
We also give her a frozen Kong stuffed with PB, wet food, and crunchy treats when we leave which distracts her while we are leaving. Before we started the training, she'd finish the Kong and then start barking but now she finishes it and just goes to sleep. Last Saturday marked 4 weeks since we adopted her and she's now totally fine when we leave as part of our normal work routine. Going out at night or on weekends might lead to a little whining but she doesn't bark any more and things are getting better every time.
posted by misskaz at 9:30 AM on June 11, 2018 [4 favorites]
I’ve had two dogs now that were absolutely miserable when crated in a separate room when they knew I was home, but for whatever reason were perfectly content sitting in the car in a garage. If you can do that safely it might be worth a try, or to try using a smaller crate in a different place (like your bedroom) to see if that helps.
(Since your guest will be there for a week, is there any chance that you could safely introduce them so they would no longer be a “stranger”?)
posted by metasarah at 9:46 AM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
(Since your guest will be there for a week, is there any chance that you could safely introduce them so they would no longer be a “stranger”?)
posted by metasarah at 9:46 AM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
Extra exercise helps some. Radio helps some. With a guest visiting for a week, I would talk talk to a vet about a mild tranquilizer, both to control the barking and because the dog may be acutely miserable. These ideas are in addition to the training proposed.
posted by theora55 at 10:22 AM on June 11, 2018
posted by theora55 at 10:22 AM on June 11, 2018
We used the technique in I'll Be Home Soon by Patricia McConnell to work through our dog's separation anxiety. It worked, but it's not a quick fix. You give the dog a Kong stuffed with delicious food that he only gets when he's left alone in his crate and you leave him alone with it for increasingly longer periods. You have to start with a very short period, maybe only 15 seconds at first. I remember reading somewhere (not sure if it was in that book or not) that once you can leave the dog for 2 hours you can leave him all day. I can't remember how long it took us to work up to 2 hours. It must have been at least 3 months.
posted by Redstart at 10:27 AM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Redstart at 10:27 AM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
I've heard great things in general about Dr. Karen Overall's "Protocol for Relaxation". As part of the standard protocol your dog learns to relax while you leave the room for longer and longer intervals. Note this is not specifically designed for separation anxiety - it teaches your dog to relax in response to any stimuli.
https://www.boulderhumane.org/sites/default/files/ProtocolforRelaxation.pdf
posted by pilibeen at 10:39 AM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
https://www.boulderhumane.org/sites/default/files/ProtocolforRelaxation.pdf
posted by pilibeen at 10:39 AM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
I sympathize because I have a similar dog and live in a studio (!) apartment. He cannot be out when repair people are in our apartment and will bark his head off unless he's getting a steady flow of treats (which is impossible when you need to be talking to the super in the bathroom and the dog is crated in the living room). My kong trick is to mix water and pumpkin 50-50 and then mix in a few super high value treats and freeze the whole thing. The water makes it freeze much harder than pumpkin alone and can keep my dog busy and mostly quiet for almost an hour.
posted by snaw at 12:09 PM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by snaw at 12:09 PM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
This might be against the rules as an answer, but training your dog to do something - scent work, maybe, or even retrieving objects by name, where the reward is knowing-what-to-do - could build your dog's confidence and make him happier and less stressed overall.
The ultimate goal is a dog who doesn't mind having to be in a crate some of the time.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 12:57 PM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
The ultimate goal is a dog who doesn't mind having to be in a crate some of the time.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 12:57 PM on June 11, 2018 [2 favorites]
Since its going to take some time to train dog and you need a solution in a week, is kenneling dog for the week your visitor is in town an option? I am really not a fan of crating dogs, but I realize this not the place for a debate about that. I just want to plead that if you are regularly crating dog for any legth of time, please make exercising dog your absolute number one priority. Please let nothing; not rain, wind, work, avalanches or even out of town visitors keep you from giving your pup a good hour walk or run every single day. For dog's sake and your own.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 2:46 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by WalkerWestridge at 2:46 PM on June 11, 2018 [3 favorites]
I just want to point out that the more stressful, unhappy time your dog spends in the kennel, the harder it's going to be to train him to be okay with staying there. If he builds up a lot of bad associations with it, he's going to be stressed about being there even before you leave him alone.
If your relative is coming so soon that you won't have time to train him out of his separation anxiety, I'd encourage you to try hard to find another place to leave him for that week. Can you board him? Can you set up the kennel in someone else's garage? If nothing else, maybe you could move the kennel to a different part of your garage and make something visually different about the setup. You want there to be two separate places in his mind - "ordinary, non-threatening place I sometimes hang out in with my owner nearby" and "terrible place my owner puts me in when she's going to leave me alone for a long time and I'm going to be miserable." Gradually you can work on making the okay place a place he's okay with even if you're not nearby. It will be harder if the okay place has already become the terrible place to him.
posted by Redstart at 7:41 AM on June 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
If your relative is coming so soon that you won't have time to train him out of his separation anxiety, I'd encourage you to try hard to find another place to leave him for that week. Can you board him? Can you set up the kennel in someone else's garage? If nothing else, maybe you could move the kennel to a different part of your garage and make something visually different about the setup. You want there to be two separate places in his mind - "ordinary, non-threatening place I sometimes hang out in with my owner nearby" and "terrible place my owner puts me in when she's going to leave me alone for a long time and I'm going to be miserable." Gradually you can work on making the okay place a place he's okay with even if you're not nearby. It will be harder if the okay place has already become the terrible place to him.
posted by Redstart at 7:41 AM on June 12, 2018 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Just letting everyone know I solved this problem with the extreme use of frozen chicken skin at one and two hour increments. Opened the door when he wasn’t barking and gave him a bunch of frozen chicken skin and pets, then disappeared. Visit was successful.
posted by corb at 2:13 PM on July 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by corb at 2:13 PM on July 12, 2018 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by praemunire at 8:19 AM on June 11, 2018 [18 favorites]