Beloved dog has splenic mass. How do I decide what to do?
April 24, 2018 10:35 AM Subscribe
My 14-year-old dog/best friend was diagnosed with a splenic mass ten days ago. Based on her age and size, it's likely hemangiosarcoma (nasty cancer), but possibly benign (still dangerous, as it could rupture). I'm trying to decide the best course of action, both for treatment, and end of life care.
I know nobody can tell me exactly what to do. I'm looking for commiseration & similar experiences that might help inform my choice. Has your dog had a similar diagnosis? How did you decide what to do?
Plenty of details under the cut.
My 14-year-old pit mix has been healthy her whole life, and is in amazing shape for her age. But last weekend, she had a sudden collapse, and was diagnosed with a splenic tumor. The collapse was due to the mass bleeding out, and although she was stabilized and is doing well at the moment, it could happen again, and be catastrophic next time.
The treatment options, as I understand them, are:
1) Surgery to remove the spleen. If it's cancerous, the surgery buys her 3-6 months. If it's not cancerous, it buys her more.
2) No surgery, keep her with me, spend lots of quality time together. Eventually, the tumor will bleed out or burst and we'll have to make a very quick call (i.e. emergency euthanasia)
3) No surgery, give her a couple "bucket list" weeks, choose a date to proceed with proactive euthanasia at home. This would save her the pain and trauma of a burst tumor, and allow us to have a peaceful, ceremonial procedure done at home. The vet indicated this would be her choice if it were her dog. However, my dog currently shows no outward signs of illness. She's been a bit lower energy since Saturday, but is still alert, active, happy, going for walks, begging for treats, rolling in the grass. It's incredibly hard to imagine going through with euthanasia if she can greet the vet with bright eyes and a wagging tail.
I'm vacillating between all three choices, while knowing that the longer I wait, the more likely it is that I've passively chosen option 2.
I've been reading a lot of (reputable) stuff online, and apparently ~1/3 of splenic masses are benign, and splenectomy gets rid of them. On the other hand, if it is cancer, which it more commonly is in older dogs, t's aggressive, and likely already spread. On the second half of that other hand, even if it's not cancer, my dog is 14 years old. She's near the end of her life expectancy, anyhow. Putting her through major surgery at this point feels like it could be more harmful than helpful. But I have that nagging question of, well, what if it isn't cancer? What if we do a splenectomy and she gets another two years?
I understand my dog is old, and I may be going through some pre-bereavement bargaining here. But she's been my closest companion for my whole adult life, and of course, I'm struggling. I know nobody can tell me exactly what to do. I'm interested in hearing personal experience with the same or similar diagnoses.
Did you do the surgery? Was it worth it? Did you opt out of the surgery, and what happened after that? How did you handle the not knowing, and the guilt? Or, have you had a pet euthanized proactively, while they were still "themselves," in order to prevent inevitable future suffering? Did it feel like the "right" choice?
I know people say it's better to do it a day early than a day late. But it's so, so hard. I welcome any experience or commiseration folks are wiling to offer.
My 14-year-old pit mix has been healthy her whole life, and is in amazing shape for her age. But last weekend, she had a sudden collapse, and was diagnosed with a splenic tumor. The collapse was due to the mass bleeding out, and although she was stabilized and is doing well at the moment, it could happen again, and be catastrophic next time.
The treatment options, as I understand them, are:
1) Surgery to remove the spleen. If it's cancerous, the surgery buys her 3-6 months. If it's not cancerous, it buys her more.
2) No surgery, keep her with me, spend lots of quality time together. Eventually, the tumor will bleed out or burst and we'll have to make a very quick call (i.e. emergency euthanasia)
3) No surgery, give her a couple "bucket list" weeks, choose a date to proceed with proactive euthanasia at home. This would save her the pain and trauma of a burst tumor, and allow us to have a peaceful, ceremonial procedure done at home. The vet indicated this would be her choice if it were her dog. However, my dog currently shows no outward signs of illness. She's been a bit lower energy since Saturday, but is still alert, active, happy, going for walks, begging for treats, rolling in the grass. It's incredibly hard to imagine going through with euthanasia if she can greet the vet with bright eyes and a wagging tail.
I'm vacillating between all three choices, while knowing that the longer I wait, the more likely it is that I've passively chosen option 2.
I've been reading a lot of (reputable) stuff online, and apparently ~1/3 of splenic masses are benign, and splenectomy gets rid of them. On the other hand, if it is cancer, which it more commonly is in older dogs, t's aggressive, and likely already spread. On the second half of that other hand, even if it's not cancer, my dog is 14 years old. She's near the end of her life expectancy, anyhow. Putting her through major surgery at this point feels like it could be more harmful than helpful. But I have that nagging question of, well, what if it isn't cancer? What if we do a splenectomy and she gets another two years?
I understand my dog is old, and I may be going through some pre-bereavement bargaining here. But she's been my closest companion for my whole adult life, and of course, I'm struggling. I know nobody can tell me exactly what to do. I'm interested in hearing personal experience with the same or similar diagnoses.
Did you do the surgery? Was it worth it? Did you opt out of the surgery, and what happened after that? How did you handle the not knowing, and the guilt? Or, have you had a pet euthanized proactively, while they were still "themselves," in order to prevent inevitable future suffering? Did it feel like the "right" choice?
I know people say it's better to do it a day early than a day late. But it's so, so hard. I welcome any experience or commiseration folks are wiling to offer.
depending on what the surgical recovery would be like for her, and whether my finances could absorb it, i would do the surgery. maybe it buys a few months, maybe it buys a few years, but what it very likely does is avoids a sudden, traumatic, painful death. to me, that would be worth it. i wouldn’t be able to handle option 2.
i’m not typically an interventionist with pets, and my last two dogs have been goodbyes of the “oh shit, you sure do have a lot of cancer that is too far gone to treat at all, so i’m going to spend a week spoiling you ahead of a planned euthanasia.” but in your case, this is how i’d lean, if i could.
posted by amelioration at 11:02 AM on April 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
i’m not typically an interventionist with pets, and my last two dogs have been goodbyes of the “oh shit, you sure do have a lot of cancer that is too far gone to treat at all, so i’m going to spend a week spoiling you ahead of a planned euthanasia.” but in your case, this is how i’d lean, if i could.
posted by amelioration at 11:02 AM on April 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
I'm very sorry.
If it were me, and if the dog otherwise seemed to be enjoying life and not to be in pain, I would investigate the splenectomy further. How long a recovery, and how painful? If neither were excessive, I would opt for that. It'd be different if the dog were frailer, or already visibly in pain, or if the surgery meant months laid up. But if the quality of life is actually pretty good, it's just that this threat is hanging over her, I'd do the surgery. If it's cancer, then you'll presumably know after the surgery, and will be able to make those plans. If not, then you enjoy the additional time.
Of the other two options, the thought of euthanizing a dog who is relatively healthy and happy makes me cringe. On the other hand, doing it on an emergency basis in a panic sounds like an awful final experience. That's a very hard call.
posted by praemunire at 11:05 AM on April 24, 2018 [5 favorites]
If it were me, and if the dog otherwise seemed to be enjoying life and not to be in pain, I would investigate the splenectomy further. How long a recovery, and how painful? If neither were excessive, I would opt for that. It'd be different if the dog were frailer, or already visibly in pain, or if the surgery meant months laid up. But if the quality of life is actually pretty good, it's just that this threat is hanging over her, I'd do the surgery. If it's cancer, then you'll presumably know after the surgery, and will be able to make those plans. If not, then you enjoy the additional time.
Of the other two options, the thought of euthanizing a dog who is relatively healthy and happy makes me cringe. On the other hand, doing it on an emergency basis in a panic sounds like an awful final experience. That's a very hard call.
posted by praemunire at 11:05 AM on April 24, 2018 [5 favorites]
Many years ago we had a dog with a similar situation. We opted to have the splenectomoy. As it turned out, she did have hemangiosarcoma and only survived a couple of months, but she made them count. She came out of the surgery like a dog five years younger and had a pretty good couple of months. Then she went downhill very quickly. In hindsight, we would not have changed anything.
posted by Preserver at 12:08 PM on April 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by Preserver at 12:08 PM on April 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
I lost 2 dogs to hemangiosarcoma in the fall. Sent you a PM.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 12:19 PM on April 24, 2018
posted by fluttering hellfire at 12:19 PM on April 24, 2018
I lost my cat recently. She had a cancerous tumor on her leg that could have started bleeding, requiring emergency euthanasia. I kept her at home for a few weeks, then had her euthanized at home to avoid what she hated more than anything: a ride to the vet's office. That's also why I didn't take any extraordinary measures. I knew even before she was sick that because of her personality, major medical care would have been horrible for her. So your dog's personality will feed into this too.
I worked with a vet who had a specialization in at-home hospice. She really helped me with the decision-making process. It was expensive, but worth it. I would try to see if you have a hospice vet in your area.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
posted by FencingGal at 12:22 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I worked with a vet who had a specialization in at-home hospice. She really helped me with the decision-making process. It was expensive, but worth it. I would try to see if you have a hospice vet in your area.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
posted by FencingGal at 12:22 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I went through a similar situation in January with my wonderful lady Lab. It was a brutal experience, and I can fully relate to all the bargaining around treatment options, timing, euthanasia, etc. It's just plain awful. In my case, I chose to euthanize soon after opting against a surgery that had too many risk factors but could have extended her life for a few years on the slim chance it was successful.
The guilt you're anticipating is going to come no matter what course you choose. It's just a natural extension of the grieving process. I'm basically ok with my decision making process during that stressful time, but I still second guess myself as well. You're going to feel terrible no matter what when she eventually dies, so my best advice is to try to take your own needs out of the equation. For me, I got all recommended diagnostics for her situation, had loooonnngggg, technical conversations with several internal medicine vets and surgeons. I read the academic journal articles I could find. Then, with all that knowledge, I ran through all the possible options one night until I pieced together a plan that clicked in my mind and made me feel calm resolve.
Your emotions are running wild right now, so worth thinking about what decision making process or plan could provide you with some clarity or calm in the face of this overwhelming situation, and use that as your guide. I'm not sure if this approach works for other people, but it worked for me.
As a plug for euthanizing sooner rather than later, if you decide surgery is not a good option or it just buys her a few months: In hindsight, what I thought was my dog slowing down due to aging or general winter laziness was really her body weakening from the cancer. She was being stoic about the pain. Two weeks before she died, we were romping on the beach, and living a pretty normal routine. No idea she had a giant kidney tumor. So, keep in mind, just because she's enjoying cookies and walks, doesn't mean she's not also uncomfortable.
Very sorry you are going through this.
posted by sk932 at 1:18 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
The guilt you're anticipating is going to come no matter what course you choose. It's just a natural extension of the grieving process. I'm basically ok with my decision making process during that stressful time, but I still second guess myself as well. You're going to feel terrible no matter what when she eventually dies, so my best advice is to try to take your own needs out of the equation. For me, I got all recommended diagnostics for her situation, had loooonnngggg, technical conversations with several internal medicine vets and surgeons. I read the academic journal articles I could find. Then, with all that knowledge, I ran through all the possible options one night until I pieced together a plan that clicked in my mind and made me feel calm resolve.
Your emotions are running wild right now, so worth thinking about what decision making process or plan could provide you with some clarity or calm in the face of this overwhelming situation, and use that as your guide. I'm not sure if this approach works for other people, but it worked for me.
As a plug for euthanizing sooner rather than later, if you decide surgery is not a good option or it just buys her a few months: In hindsight, what I thought was my dog slowing down due to aging or general winter laziness was really her body weakening from the cancer. She was being stoic about the pain. Two weeks before she died, we were romping on the beach, and living a pretty normal routine. No idea she had a giant kidney tumor. So, keep in mind, just because she's enjoying cookies and walks, doesn't mean she's not also uncomfortable.
Very sorry you are going through this.
posted by sk932 at 1:18 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
Would it be possible to do a biopsy to see whether the growth is benign or not? If benign, surgical treatment makes more sense. If not, then you can spare the dog having to go though surgery, recovery and ultimately dying anyway(or needing to be euthanized) fairly shortly after.
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 1:43 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Larry David Syndrome at 1:43 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
My elderly dog (35 lbs) had a massive spleen growth (benign) that itself weighed 3 pounds. It was removed and the procedure was quite complex. She did not recover well and a week later, passed away. I think at her age it was just too much for her. This does not mean it would happen like this for you of course. In my case, there was strong evidence that it would have ruptured and serious internal bleeding would have resulted. So I do not know if that info helps you or not.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:20 PM on April 24, 2018
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:20 PM on April 24, 2018
I sent before finishing, and wanted to add... this is the absolute worst thing, and I am so sorry you are going through this. I wanted so much for my dog to recover and restore some quality of life, but at her age (a rescue of unknown age, and older than I ever knew, I think), I believe she chose her time. She had a wonderful 5 years with us.
Before the procedure, we noticed a slowing down and an other indications that all was not ideal. She had eaten something odd, and we had to have an X-ray for that, and that was when the mass was discovered. So if that had not happened, I don't know what the outcome would have been. We were not confronted with the same type of decision you were. But once we knew she had the mass, we had to decide about the surgery. And it sounds crass, but... unless you have pet insurance, the cost of the surgery remains, whether the pet survives or not. (I hate making that point in such a context but it was part of the whole thing.)
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:56 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Before the procedure, we noticed a slowing down and an other indications that all was not ideal. She had eaten something odd, and we had to have an X-ray for that, and that was when the mass was discovered. So if that had not happened, I don't know what the outcome would have been. We were not confronted with the same type of decision you were. But once we knew she had the mass, we had to decide about the surgery. And it sounds crass, but... unless you have pet insurance, the cost of the surgery remains, whether the pet survives or not. (I hate making that point in such a context but it was part of the whole thing.)
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:56 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry for your grief.
In a similar situation, we opted for 2 and my vet gave me enough up the bum sedatives to tranquilise a horse so at least she wouldn't suffer while we transferred her to the veterinary hospital to be PTS. If your vet won't do that, then 3.
At 14, even for a dog without cancer, you are looking at end of life planning. I would never subject a dog of that age to major surgery. I actually let a dog go on the table last year when they opened her up and it turned out the cancer had spread. I was not going to put her through recovery just to have to put her down after she'd healed.
Remember that euthanasia is the last, best, kindest thing you can do for your friend. I wish we all had that option.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:04 PM on April 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
In a similar situation, we opted for 2 and my vet gave me enough up the bum sedatives to tranquilise a horse so at least she wouldn't suffer while we transferred her to the veterinary hospital to be PTS. If your vet won't do that, then 3.
At 14, even for a dog without cancer, you are looking at end of life planning. I would never subject a dog of that age to major surgery. I actually let a dog go on the table last year when they opened her up and it turned out the cancer had spread. I was not going to put her through recovery just to have to put her down after she'd healed.
Remember that euthanasia is the last, best, kindest thing you can do for your friend. I wish we all had that option.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:04 PM on April 24, 2018 [4 favorites]
This January, in a similar situation, we went with option #3.
Our 13-year-old dog had a couple of other health issues, so that made the decision a little easier. She wasn't exactly "bright eyed and bushy tailed" but she could have hung on a while longer. Essentially we didn't want her to die in pain and have to have emergency euthanasia. Our vet, who came to the house, told us we were giving her a gift in allowing her to go peacefully and in her own home. We'll never know if we did it too soon, but I am at peace with the decision.
posted by tuesdayschild at 3:26 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Our 13-year-old dog had a couple of other health issues, so that made the decision a little easier. She wasn't exactly "bright eyed and bushy tailed" but she could have hung on a while longer. Essentially we didn't want her to die in pain and have to have emergency euthanasia. Our vet, who came to the house, told us we were giving her a gift in allowing her to go peacefully and in her own home. We'll never know if we did it too soon, but I am at peace with the decision.
posted by tuesdayschild at 3:26 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was recently talking to my daughter who works in emergency veterinary medicine. She says the hardest part of her job is seeing how many people suffer with these types of dilemmas, but when all is said and done, dogs and cats and horses don't truly have a sense of time. They are perfect Zen creatures in that they exist right here, right now. They do not think of tomorrow and they don't think of yesterday.
When loving pet owners are weighing their various options, they do it through that lens of understanding the passage of time, that certainty that pets may still have more good days in the future, but our pets do not share that concept. So we feel grief for days they may miss, but this concept is not their way.
It comes down to honoring their consciousness, their level of comfort, and remembering that animals do not express pain as humans do. Knowing our pets have an issue that will likely cause them pain, knowing they have already lived lives of joy and play---this means we need to remove our feelings of loss and honor their lives by letting them go.
Again, I know how hard this is but it may help to frame your thinking this way. Sometimes the best gift we can give our pets is to let them go peacefully.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:43 PM on April 24, 2018 [8 favorites]
When loving pet owners are weighing their various options, they do it through that lens of understanding the passage of time, that certainty that pets may still have more good days in the future, but our pets do not share that concept. So we feel grief for days they may miss, but this concept is not their way.
It comes down to honoring their consciousness, their level of comfort, and remembering that animals do not express pain as humans do. Knowing our pets have an issue that will likely cause them pain, knowing they have already lived lives of joy and play---this means we need to remove our feelings of loss and honor their lives by letting them go.
Again, I know how hard this is but it may help to frame your thinking this way. Sometimes the best gift we can give our pets is to let them go peacefully.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:43 PM on April 24, 2018 [8 favorites]
Sorry you are dealing with this. I went with option 2. I was not able to afford surgery to remove the stomach tumor, and I was also not sure about making any decisions that would not be what my dog wanted. So I waited until he was very clearly ready to go. If I had the means to prolong his life I don't think I would have. He was old, arthritic, and ready. So basically I did my best to focus on what I could best offer the dog for his own sake and tried to avoid making decisions based on what I might want that could interfere with that. Not like we ever know, but I wanted to honor him by respecting that he was not going to have a great quality of life at that stage no matter what.
posted by crunchy potato at 4:55 PM on April 24, 2018
posted by crunchy potato at 4:55 PM on April 24, 2018
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a very similar situation with my 13-year old Border Collie/Lab mix in November. I thought she had maybe had a cardiovascular event during a walk so we went to the emergency vet. As soon as they put her on oxygen she perked back up, but bloodwork showed pretty sever anemia and the ultrasound revealed that her spleen was more than 4x the size it should've been.
With the vet's consent/advice, I left her there on fluids overnight to see what her chances of pulling out of it were, but when I went to check on her the following evening she started hyperventilating again as soon as they pulled the catheter, which made it a lot clearer call.
In that intervening period though I thought a lot about options if she were to pull through. I never really considered surgery even though she was largely healthy as far as I knew other than her spleen. I've also worked in the industry and seen dogs come in post-rupture and knew I didn't want to put her through that. I was fairly resigned to making the call shortly, but wanted to do it with the vet that I had worked with for 4.5 years. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you want to spin it) I didn't get the chance to make that choice.
It sucks, especially when something like this kind of comes out of nowhere, but I have no regrets at all about my decision. I still miss her every damn day. Sending good vibes to both you and your sweet dog.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:18 PM on April 24, 2018
With the vet's consent/advice, I left her there on fluids overnight to see what her chances of pulling out of it were, but when I went to check on her the following evening she started hyperventilating again as soon as they pulled the catheter, which made it a lot clearer call.
In that intervening period though I thought a lot about options if she were to pull through. I never really considered surgery even though she was largely healthy as far as I knew other than her spleen. I've also worked in the industry and seen dogs come in post-rupture and knew I didn't want to put her through that. I was fairly resigned to making the call shortly, but wanted to do it with the vet that I had worked with for 4.5 years. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you want to spin it) I didn't get the chance to make that choice.
It sucks, especially when something like this kind of comes out of nowhere, but I have no regrets at all about my decision. I still miss her every damn day. Sending good vibes to both you and your sweet dog.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:18 PM on April 24, 2018
I've been there twice-probably younger dog (an adult shelter dog with me for 9 years when diagnosed) and a much older dog.
Did not do surgery on the older dog. More than two years with one or two events that may have been bleeds before being put down for standard aging dog reasons.
Did very successful surgery with fast recovery on the probably younger dog. Mass never reappeared and dog died mercifully quickly of old age with years of quality life after surgery.
If you have a good relationship with your vet and the money, and the vet says dog is a good candidate for surgery, and you dog isn't phobic about the vet, the I would do it.
Guessing you know nothing about parents or siblings and their life spans? Are you basing the idea that she's near the end on years or signs of aging?
Do you have a dollar amount in your head, right now, that is the death panel cap for every animal you own?
It is very helpful - at least for me - to know I thought about what is and is not possible financially and have a standing opinion which interventions I consider worthwhile and for how long.
I'm very sorry you have to deal with this.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 5:42 PM on April 24, 2018
Did not do surgery on the older dog. More than two years with one or two events that may have been bleeds before being put down for standard aging dog reasons.
Did very successful surgery with fast recovery on the probably younger dog. Mass never reappeared and dog died mercifully quickly of old age with years of quality life after surgery.
If you have a good relationship with your vet and the money, and the vet says dog is a good candidate for surgery, and you dog isn't phobic about the vet, the I would do it.
Guessing you know nothing about parents or siblings and their life spans? Are you basing the idea that she's near the end on years or signs of aging?
Do you have a dollar amount in your head, right now, that is the death panel cap for every animal you own?
It is very helpful - at least for me - to know I thought about what is and is not possible financially and have a standing opinion which interventions I consider worthwhile and for how long.
I'm very sorry you have to deal with this.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 5:42 PM on April 24, 2018
I'm so very very sorry. Our pit mix developed a cancer in her neck at about 14 (we didn't really know her age). We chose not to try to treat it, as the prognosis wasn't good anyway. Our vet, like yours, was very honest about the choice she'd make if it were her dog, which we found very reassuring as she knows much more about old dogs than we do. I will always be so grateful to her for that advice. We enjoyed a few more good weeks with our girl and then let her go before she could suffer. I still miss her to this day, but I'm relieved we made the choice we did, while we could still spare her from pain.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 5:57 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 5:57 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Well, I'm now fairly certain my 11-year-old GSD mix died from hemangiosarcoma in February. He was fine during the day and woke my wife and me up that night because he was suddenly in very rough shape. It was an awful experience and I spent a lot of time beating myself up for not recognizing how sick he was (I thought he was just slowing down from old age), but there's no way I could have known. I am so regretful that I couldn't make sure my dog had a peaceful end. He must have been in so much pain and I had no idea. Were I you, I would try to find a way to make option 1 or 3 work for the both you.
I am so, so sorry you're going through this.
posted by vakker at 6:46 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I am so, so sorry you're going through this.
posted by vakker at 6:46 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Our girl was absolutely fine one night and at death's door the next morning. Our vet explained that in the wild animals will mask signs of illness as long as possible as a matter of self-protection/survival. Given that you know that your friend is seriously ill, even if you perceive that she is acting bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, she may in fact just be acting.
We've always chosen option 3 for our seriously ill pets. It's hard obviously, but we feel it's kinder than putting an older dog through surgery.
posted by vignettist at 7:45 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
We've always chosen option 3 for our seriously ill pets. It's hard obviously, but we feel it's kinder than putting an older dog through surgery.
posted by vignettist at 7:45 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I was in the exact same one with my 12-year-old dog two years ago.
I took a few days off to spend time with her, filled her last day with as many of her favorite things as I could (grandma! the park! so much bacon!), and then had a house-call vet come to my home to perform euthanasia. It was a hard decision but I'm 110% sure it was the right one for us. I didn't want to (best case) put her through invasive surgery at her age in the hopes it would buy a bit of time, and I couldn't bear (worst case) the possibility of the tumor suddenly rupturing. (My understanding was she could die on the spot.) What if it happened when I wasn't there, and she was home, alone? Even now the thought makes me tear up. I'm so, SO grateful I got the opportunity to plan things and be with her at the end. It truly felt, and still feels, like a gift (for her, and me).
Like some other posters have said, looking back now, it's clear that what I (at the time) assumed was her aging and slowing down was actually her health declining. I can even see it in pictures from that time period. She just wasn't herself.
This thread helped me a lot at the time.
Sending good vibes.
posted by leeloo minai at 7:46 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I took a few days off to spend time with her, filled her last day with as many of her favorite things as I could (grandma! the park! so much bacon!), and then had a house-call vet come to my home to perform euthanasia. It was a hard decision but I'm 110% sure it was the right one for us. I didn't want to (best case) put her through invasive surgery at her age in the hopes it would buy a bit of time, and I couldn't bear (worst case) the possibility of the tumor suddenly rupturing. (My understanding was she could die on the spot.) What if it happened when I wasn't there, and she was home, alone? Even now the thought makes me tear up. I'm so, SO grateful I got the opportunity to plan things and be with her at the end. It truly felt, and still feels, like a gift (for her, and me).
Like some other posters have said, looking back now, it's clear that what I (at the time) assumed was her aging and slowing down was actually her health declining. I can even see it in pictures from that time period. She just wasn't herself.
This thread helped me a lot at the time.
Sending good vibes.
posted by leeloo minai at 7:46 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I would do (and have done) Option 3, as hard as it is. Your dog very well could be feeling worse than you know, as others stated. They really do hide it, and also get used to a certain level of discomfort. My elderly, quite ill dog was on huge amounts of hospice opiates and in obvious pain, and still eating, wagging, and asking for walks at the very end. Some dogs never show how bad it is. They just try to push through.
Surgery will be scary and painful and stressful, and unlike us, won't be able to say, "I'll feel better soon." She can't distract herself. All she knows is the misery that she'd be in, with no sense that it could change. And she's 14--the odds you'll get another 2 years with her is vanishingly small.
Letting nature takes its course could end up with a dog dying in pain at 3 am--a chaotic and scary experience. It's a lousy way to say good-bye.
None of the choices are good ones. It's all hard. I am so sorry.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 8:01 PM on April 24, 2018
Surgery will be scary and painful and stressful, and unlike us, won't be able to say, "I'll feel better soon." She can't distract herself. All she knows is the misery that she'd be in, with no sense that it could change. And she's 14--the odds you'll get another 2 years with her is vanishingly small.
Letting nature takes its course could end up with a dog dying in pain at 3 am--a chaotic and scary experience. It's a lousy way to say good-bye.
None of the choices are good ones. It's all hard. I am so sorry.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 8:01 PM on April 24, 2018
My 14 year old dog had a splenic mass last year. She was (or seemed) perfectly healthy until one day suddenly she wouldn't eat. The emergency vet discovered the mass and we opted for surgery, not knowing whether the mass would be malignant or benign. The surgery went well and the mass was benign - we were so happy and felt so lucky! But, unfortunately, she did have a stroke 3 days after the surgery, resulting in behavior changes and loss of vision in one eye. That made for a few hard weeks for all of us. She almost fully recovered from the stroke over a couple months, and although she did not regain vision in the affected eye, she is very happy now. She plays like normal, has lots of energy, and loves all the usual stuff like treats and walks. On the other hand, she is dealing with several other old age issues now, including high blood pressure, partial hearing loss, and occasional seizures -- probably not related to the spleen or surgery -- and we have spent a fortune on veterinary care. In the end she is still an old dog, even with the successful surgery. We have never doubted our decision and would have been happy with even one more healthy month after the surgery, but I think many options are reasonable in this situation. Wishing you wisdom and comfort - such a heart wrenching decision and situation.
posted by pitseleh at 8:32 PM on April 24, 2018
posted by pitseleh at 8:32 PM on April 24, 2018
(Should have added that my dog's surgery was 14 months ago - she had just turned 13 at the time and is now 14. She's a small mixed breed, about 15 lbs.)
posted by pitseleh at 8:41 PM on April 24, 2018
posted by pitseleh at 8:41 PM on April 24, 2018
14 year old Border Collie, this February. We had a chance to do #3, but did #2.
She started bleeding into her abdomen, and then it was an emergency euthanasia.
If I was doing it again, I'd certainly take the third choice, more for Dog's sake than ours.
posted by the Real Dan at 10:35 PM on April 24, 2018
She started bleeding into her abdomen, and then it was an emergency euthanasia.
If I was doing it again, I'd certainly take the third choice, more for Dog's sake than ours.
posted by the Real Dan at 10:35 PM on April 24, 2018
I'm sorry you're going through this.
I went through some pretty gnarly surgery scenarios with my cat, and in retrospect, while surgery 1 went well and he got some good time/miles out of it, surgery 2 was not such a great idea. My cat was middle aged at the time, not yet old, and the cancer (and treatment) was aggressive.
In retrospect, my regret about the second surgery and the end of his life will be with me -literally forever- and it is greatly informing how I am setting up mentally for the eventual passing of my remaining cat.
I think that you should prepare for option 3. Plan out the end of your pet's life so that when your dog goes, you know she will be comfortable and happy. You don't want to have to do any of this under duress or when you know the dog is in pain or panicking because of an acute condition that develops with no warning.
It is so, so hard to be the steward of these decisions. I am so sorry for this. I wish you peace in your decision.
posted by Medieval Maven at 9:18 AM on April 25, 2018
I went through some pretty gnarly surgery scenarios with my cat, and in retrospect, while surgery 1 went well and he got some good time/miles out of it, surgery 2 was not such a great idea. My cat was middle aged at the time, not yet old, and the cancer (and treatment) was aggressive.
In retrospect, my regret about the second surgery and the end of his life will be with me -literally forever- and it is greatly informing how I am setting up mentally for the eventual passing of my remaining cat.
I think that you should prepare for option 3. Plan out the end of your pet's life so that when your dog goes, you know she will be comfortable and happy. You don't want to have to do any of this under duress or when you know the dog is in pain or panicking because of an acute condition that develops with no warning.
It is so, so hard to be the steward of these decisions. I am so sorry for this. I wish you peace in your decision.
posted by Medieval Maven at 9:18 AM on April 25, 2018
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My only advice is to clarify one very important aspect of your thinking: the dog does not have a bucket list, and does not abstractly place a value on having another month or week or day. The extra time you'd like to buy is for you, not her. There's nothing wrong with wanting that time, but don't kid yourself that she would choose suffering in order to be with you longer.
posted by jon1270 at 10:50 AM on April 24, 2018 [14 favorites]