Why is my word finder breaking?
April 20, 2018 12:04 PM Subscribe
I'm a 32 year old mom of 2, and I'm starting to notice more instances of having trouble word-finding. Should I be worried?
I have a 6 year old and a 7 month old daughter who is adopted. My husband is a police officer, and I spend a lot of time taking care of both kids alone after long days at a high stress job where I am a supervisor. At my current job, there's a ton of changes going on and lots of big projects I am directly responsible for. The adoption of my daughter and the high stress of that situation along with the family drama that happens in family situations has all triggered my anxiety issues over the last year. I don't have diagnosed anxiety but it's incredibly clear to those close to me that it's a real issue. A few months ago, my only sister (38) was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and is now being treated as a patient at my work place.
Long story short: Over the last few months I've started having word finding issues. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and have to stop, pause, sometimes a long pause (15 seconds or more) before I remember the very common word I am searching for.
For example, my son left his shoes in the living room last week. I said to him, "Hey, go get your shoes out of the - long pause- living room" and during the pause he asked me twice where I was telling him to get his shoes from.
I'm normally incredibly sharp, so this is really concerning to me. I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist about my anxiety/slight depression issues I have going on, thinking they could possibly related but I'm not sure. When I search online, I basically find this to be a normal occurrence for those "aging" - but I'm on 32.
Could these be related, or is this something I should be more concerned about and see my primary care doctor?
I have a 6 year old and a 7 month old daughter who is adopted. My husband is a police officer, and I spend a lot of time taking care of both kids alone after long days at a high stress job where I am a supervisor. At my current job, there's a ton of changes going on and lots of big projects I am directly responsible for. The adoption of my daughter and the high stress of that situation along with the family drama that happens in family situations has all triggered my anxiety issues over the last year. I don't have diagnosed anxiety but it's incredibly clear to those close to me that it's a real issue. A few months ago, my only sister (38) was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer and is now being treated as a patient at my work place.
Long story short: Over the last few months I've started having word finding issues. I'll be in the middle of a sentence and have to stop, pause, sometimes a long pause (15 seconds or more) before I remember the very common word I am searching for.
For example, my son left his shoes in the living room last week. I said to him, "Hey, go get your shoes out of the - long pause- living room" and during the pause he asked me twice where I was telling him to get his shoes from.
I'm normally incredibly sharp, so this is really concerning to me. I made an appointment to see a psychiatrist about my anxiety/slight depression issues I have going on, thinking they could possibly related but I'm not sure. When I search online, I basically find this to be a normal occurrence for those "aging" - but I'm on 32.
Could these be related, or is this something I should be more concerned about and see my primary care doctor?
I beat the drum on this nonstop around here but I was having issues like forgetting words, general brain fog, etc., around age 35 and was found to have extremely low levels of ferritin/iron stores. Once I started on iron supplements, the issues related to the brain fog cleared. I went off the iron at my doctor's suggestion and they came back. Might be worth getting tested!
posted by jabes at 12:21 PM on April 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by jabes at 12:21 PM on April 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
Even without the other issues - your husband's job, your job, your sister's illness - you have two children, AND you're a new mom again! You may have forgotten since your older one isn't as needy as he used to be, but now with the 7-month old in the mix as well - kids take up a huge portion of your brain, leaving the space for other things such as word-finding greatly diminished. I hope that doesn't sound patronizing - I'm about to go through something similar myself since I have a 7-year-old and will have a newborn in a couple of months. It's on my mind.
That said, you should absolutely have it checked out. You know yourself best.
posted by kitcat at 12:31 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
That said, you should absolutely have it checked out. You know yourself best.
posted by kitcat at 12:31 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Stress, lack of sleep, anxiety and depression and the physical/medical changes that can be associated with those can all contribute to fogginess like this and the very most likely explanation is that one or more of those is the cause. It's always worth raising concerns with your physician and is worth ruling out and treating this most likely culprits.
If it makes you feel better, this happened to me alllllllll the time after each of our kids was born (hello lack of sleep, stressful job, etc., etc.). It did get better over time.
Take gentle care of yourself. You deserve it as much as the people you love.
posted by goggie at 12:32 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
If it makes you feel better, this happened to me alllllllll the time after each of our kids was born (hello lack of sleep, stressful job, etc., etc.). It did get better over time.
Take gentle care of yourself. You deserve it as much as the people you love.
posted by goggie at 12:32 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm far older than you and have no children, but I can tell you this same thing happens to me when I get very tired. I quite literally forget names of people I've known for 20 years, or friends' kids' names, or names or actors I've loved for years. I imagine you're exhausted with two very young children, so I'd be willing to bet it's largely that, plus the stress you're undergoing.
Although i don't think you should worry too much about it, I do agree with everyone that it's worth having it checked out to ease your mind.
posted by holborne at 12:35 PM on April 20, 2018
Although i don't think you should worry too much about it, I do agree with everyone that it's worth having it checked out to ease your mind.
posted by holborne at 12:35 PM on April 20, 2018
Wow! You are under a LOT of stress, and, no doubt with a baby, you aren't getting enough sleep. When I've been going through multiple stresses and/or can't sleep well, it's like someone took out my brain and replaced it with oatmeal.
See a doctor, make sure you don't have low iron, low thyroid (very common in women), sleep disorders, etc. complicating things. But in the meantime, do everything you can to get some relaxation time for yourself - get out in nature, do some yoga and/or meditate, take a bubble bath. When Mom isn't happy, nobody's happy - you need to make sure you are as much a priority as your spouse and kids. Easier said than done (especially with an infant), but don't always put yourself last.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 12:40 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
See a doctor, make sure you don't have low iron, low thyroid (very common in women), sleep disorders, etc. complicating things. But in the meantime, do everything you can to get some relaxation time for yourself - get out in nature, do some yoga and/or meditate, take a bubble bath. When Mom isn't happy, nobody's happy - you need to make sure you are as much a priority as your spouse and kids. Easier said than done (especially with an infant), but don't always put yourself last.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 12:40 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm 45 with four kids. Welcome to the....whatsitcalled...club! This past year I have been stressed about our country, and sleeping less (thanks for nothing, CPAP Vader mask), and I'm noticing the same thing in my own brain.
When I get more exercise outside I sleep better and my brain works better. I can't WAIT for spring. I agree with other commenters that stress+worries+fatigue will turn off your mind. Your doc would probably tell you (as mine does) to get more sleep and some exercise. But by all means, mention it, because it could by iron or thyroid or something entirely else.
Hang in there, life with the kids get easier!
posted by wenestvedt at 1:24 PM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
When I get more exercise outside I sleep better and my brain works better. I can't WAIT for spring. I agree with other commenters that stress+worries+fatigue will turn off your mind. Your doc would probably tell you (as mine does) to get more sleep and some exercise. But by all means, mention it, because it could by iron or thyroid or something entirely else.
Hang in there, life with the kids get easier!
posted by wenestvedt at 1:24 PM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
I started forgetting words during my brief foray into using Ritalin when I was your age. Are you using that?
posted by 4ster at 1:57 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by 4ster at 1:57 PM on April 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Well, I can tell you I started having this issue after I had my kid nearly two years ago and it hasn't abated much. You're not alone! Can you ask your husband or a close friend if they've noticed anything? I think some of mine is in my head - like I'm more liable to notice brain farts now, but perhaps I always had them.
posted by cpatterson at 2:26 PM on April 20, 2018
posted by cpatterson at 2:26 PM on April 20, 2018
stress and being tired can definitely contribute to this, but i agree v strongly with the above poster who mentioned iron deficiency. when my hellpit uterus tried to kill me via anemia one of my first symptoms was mental fog that started off slowly and became more and more severe over the 6 months it took to get my blood back to normal.
get the fullest possible bloodwork done, with more than just basic iron levels. ironically i can't remember what the more granular tests look for.
posted by poffin boffin at 2:38 PM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
get the fullest possible bloodwork done, with more than just basic iron levels. ironically i can't remember what the more granular tests look for.
posted by poffin boffin at 2:38 PM on April 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
Stress and having to juggle multiple moving parts makes me absent-minded in my harriedness, and prone to forgetting words. Bubble baths are nice and all, but if your husband was able to take on more of the kid-care and household duties, would that help to reduce your stress and overextendedness? This would be at the top of my list of things that'll really help. Iron supplements and baths may also, but let's be real about the source of stress here.
posted by tapir-whorf at 3:28 PM on April 20, 2018
posted by tapir-whorf at 3:28 PM on April 20, 2018
Your stress level is affecting your ability to manage your attention. Like 4ster, when I first started taking stimulants for ADD, I started blanking on nouns. I really thought I was losing my mind. It's a horrible feeling, and I hope you find a way to manage it.
posted by A Friend of Dug [sock] at 4:10 PM on April 20, 2018
posted by A Friend of Dug [sock] at 4:10 PM on April 20, 2018
Are you nursing? My anecdata is that lack of estrogen - nursing, menopause - affected my ability to access words. Also, mothering is a lot of work and other areas of your brain may be taking up all the bandwidth right now, in a completely non-scientific way. I recently diagnosed myself with mild Vit. B12 deficiency, and I seem to be able to function better if I have meat(your choice of complete protein) a couple times a week.
posted by theora55 at 5:15 PM on April 20, 2018
posted by theora55 at 5:15 PM on April 20, 2018
Several years ago, when I was in my late 30's, we suspected I was getting early-onset Alzheimer's because I was having a similar problem. I'm a dude, and at that time we had two small children and I was in a particularly stressful job.
I write for a living, so it was particularly disturbing that I was losing words, stammering, and having to hunt for words during normal conversation. I was having freeze-ups because words would just...go missing in the middle of a sentence. It was noticeable enough that it alarmed family, friends and coworkers.
We went to see a very nice neurologist who evaluated the hell out of me, and her conclusion was that it was almost certainly the result of sleep deprivation. And, sure enough, I got a sleep study done, and got a CPAP, and started getting more and better sleep, and all my symptoms abated.
Poor sleep will fuck your life up in all sorts of ways, and this is one of them.
posted by scrump at 6:16 PM on April 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
I write for a living, so it was particularly disturbing that I was losing words, stammering, and having to hunt for words during normal conversation. I was having freeze-ups because words would just...go missing in the middle of a sentence. It was noticeable enough that it alarmed family, friends and coworkers.
We went to see a very nice neurologist who evaluated the hell out of me, and her conclusion was that it was almost certainly the result of sleep deprivation. And, sure enough, I got a sleep study done, and got a CPAP, and started getting more and better sleep, and all my symptoms abated.
Poor sleep will fuck your life up in all sorts of ways, and this is one of them.
posted by scrump at 6:16 PM on April 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
I'm 26, with a 7-month-old too. My word-finder is shot, I've been assuming it's just the kid... My husband is around the same age, and he's the same.
It seems possible that your anxiety is contributing to the problem, but also highlighting the issue in your mind and making it seem worse? As a mom of a baby, it never occurred to me to worry that an increase in forgetfulness is something to be scared of. Imo it just comes with the territory! Beyond the sleeplessness and mental bandwidth being consumed, I think I just talk less (a greater percentage of babytalk to actual talk) and am maybe out of practice grabbing words.
Its worth seeing your PCP for a workup if its logistically and financially possible, just to set your mind at ease and check out your general health after so much stress. And definitely sounds good to meet with your mental health provider. But from my random, not-a-professional perspective, this sounds totally normal.
posted by sometamegazelle at 7:33 PM on April 20, 2018
It seems possible that your anxiety is contributing to the problem, but also highlighting the issue in your mind and making it seem worse? As a mom of a baby, it never occurred to me to worry that an increase in forgetfulness is something to be scared of. Imo it just comes with the territory! Beyond the sleeplessness and mental bandwidth being consumed, I think I just talk less (a greater percentage of babytalk to actual talk) and am maybe out of practice grabbing words.
Its worth seeing your PCP for a workup if its logistically and financially possible, just to set your mind at ease and check out your general health after so much stress. And definitely sounds good to meet with your mental health provider. But from my random, not-a-professional perspective, this sounds totally normal.
posted by sometamegazelle at 7:33 PM on April 20, 2018
I had the same problem when my dad was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I was 37 at the time and very worried about early dementia. I was juggling work and taking care of dad, and my memory got so bad I once seriously had to think long and hard about what my own name was, when signing something. I also kept forgetting work extension numbers, PIN numbers and entry codes for my apartment.
It all mostly went away when I got medical help for my anxiety and depression, and some physical rest but it took over a year, closer to two years, before that fog really lifted.
posted by M. at 8:03 AM on April 21, 2018
It all mostly went away when I got medical help for my anxiety and depression, and some physical rest but it took over a year, closer to two years, before that fog really lifted.
posted by M. at 8:03 AM on April 21, 2018
I am mid-forties with no kids, and the word-forgetting happens to me sometimes, too. Particularly if I'm very tired, or stressed, or am either about to get or have just gotten over a migraine. My doctor is not particularly worried about it.
That said, definitely talk to your doctor about it.
posted by sarcasticah at 8:54 AM on April 21, 2018
That said, definitely talk to your doctor about it.
posted by sarcasticah at 8:54 AM on April 21, 2018
Ask your doctor. I had the same problem - but post-ECT. There's probably some medical explanation for why the significant amount of stress you're under has the same effect as electric brain zaps on the vocab part of your brain.
FWIW it does get better / go away with time. If I "found" the word once, it was back in my regular vocabulary and easily accessible the next time.
posted by ahundredjarsofsky at 2:16 AM on April 22, 2018
FWIW it does get better / go away with time. If I "found" the word once, it was back in my regular vocabulary and easily accessible the next time.
posted by ahundredjarsofsky at 2:16 AM on April 22, 2018
Stress is major, parenting a 7th month old and helping a 6 year to adjust to their own changes, dealing with your sister is more than enough to cause brain blanks. First make sure your physical health is looked after. Get a physical exam and blood work, then be sure you get enough sleep. Power nap if you have to - 20 minutes can save you. Then look to your mental health. Long relaxing bath, time out to read, walk around the block....
Since my stroke, if my speech is lousy because I'm tired, sometimes taking just five minutes in a quiet place without thinking, like mini-meditation, makes a noticeable difference.
My neurologist said treating your brain kindly will help with speech issues, whether your 7 or 70.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:46 AM on April 22, 2018
Since my stroke, if my speech is lousy because I'm tired, sometimes taking just five minutes in a quiet place without thinking, like mini-meditation, makes a noticeable difference.
My neurologist said treating your brain kindly will help with speech issues, whether your 7 or 70.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:46 AM on April 22, 2018
Chronic sleep deprivation.
posted by Jacqueline at 6:11 PM on April 23, 2018
posted by Jacqueline at 6:11 PM on April 23, 2018
Did this get better at all? Were you ever diagnosed with thyroid issue, low iron, or just lack of sleep?
posted by ElisaOS at 2:00 PM on September 25, 2018
posted by ElisaOS at 2:00 PM on September 25, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
You should still see a doctor about your anxiety & depression, because those are very real issues that you should definitely look into treating, whether or not they are the cause of this.
posted by brainmouse at 12:09 PM on April 20, 2018 [8 favorites]