Should I Stick with the Devil I Know?
March 25, 2018 6:55 PM   Subscribe

I currently have a pretty good, but not ideal job. I’ve been offered a job that could be great--but it comes with some serious caveats and a lot of unknowns. How do I chose? Help me, Metafiler! Many snowflakes inside, of course.

Let’s say I am a graphic designer. I work as a longtime contractor for a massive company you’ve heard of. My current job is pretty easy, zero-to-little stress and decently paid (~$39K, no benefits). My coworkers and my boss are great people who genuinely care about each other. I like going into the office 80 percent of the time, I have plenty of time for freelance work and my many hobbies. This job is also my first full time, professional job in design. Before I got this job, I scraped together a living from freelance design work and food service gigs.

One of my longtime clients offered me a full time job this week--a graphic design job with a small but well-known firm. It was offered in a rushed “how soon can you start? No, sooner!” sort of way, so I reached out to contacts and friends to find out what’s really going on. It turns out that the sole owner of this firm is a megalomaniac who fires people White House style--suddenly, viciously and often. If you’re on his good side, you’re golden. But you have to stay on his good side, and in our brief interactions I’ve found him overwhelming and exasperating.

This job would involve a nearly $10K pay cut, but also offer benefits. At this firm, I would have almost limitless creative freedom and the opportunity for close mentorship that I’ve longed for my whole career, but even the best days would be stressful, fast-paced and stretch into 10 hours. I would probably have to give up my other freelance clients and pull back on hobbies that mean a lot to me, at least for a while.

I am 32, no kids or plan to have any, longtime very serious partner, a mortgage, under $10K in savings and an absolute shitload of debt. Also, I have veryyy expensive taste in food, intoxicants and clothing.

So Metafilter, what do I do? Stick with my current routine of chill-but-boring corporate work and freelancing in the evenings or go for a job with a stressful, creative job that could offer me a lot--if I can deal with a pay cut and a difficult, mercurial boss?
posted by queen_mob to Work & Money (37 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: poster's request -- cortex

 
Absolutely don't do it. Seriously. If you're unhappy enough with your current position to want to leave, pick Option C - i.e. a full-time job with creative freedom and mentorship without a pay cut and most importantly, without a crazy boss who might fire you at any time.
posted by ClaireBear at 6:58 PM on March 25, 2018 [34 favorites]


fuck that.

Benefits aren't worth a 25% paycut. Especially when you have to scramble to reup on them privately because you just lost your job at the whim of the person that's been making your life miserable for the last n months. There's no value of n for which that's a winning proposition.
posted by 7segment at 7:03 PM on March 25, 2018 [15 favorites]


The job offer sounds so much worse than your current situation that I'm not seeing what would make you struggle with this decision. Even if you gain benefits, could that realistically make up for losing $10k? If you did the math on paying for your own health insurance out of pocket -- monthly premium plus co-pays -- I would think it would be well under $10k. Not sure what other benefits would be included but I don't think the math makes sense here.

Besides, money is great and I love it, but my favorite jobs ever were low stress, gave me plenty of free time and never had me worrying about being fired. Ergo, this new job offer of yours sounds like it sucks to me.

Stick with what you have and you can look forward to a next move that is an actual step up.
posted by AppleTurnover at 7:03 PM on March 25, 2018 [11 favorites]


Nope nope nope.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:07 PM on March 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


It was offered in a rushed “how soon can you start? No, sooner!” sort of way,

This is a major red flag. MAJOR.

It turns out that the sole owner of this firm is a megalomaniac who fires people White House style--suddenly, viciously and often.

This is dispositive, right here. Nope. Don't need to hear more.

This job would involve a nearly $10K pay cut

This is lucky because it just helps the issue from getting clouded by a pay raise.

HARD PASS.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:07 PM on March 25, 2018 [30 favorites]


NOOOOPE
posted by heathrowga at 7:16 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Did I miss the part of your question about you liking to live on the edge, that you revel in risktaking, the higher the risk the more fun it is ...? I must have, because that is the only reason this question makes sense.

Oh, I didn't miss it, because it isn't there.

Then F&T has it nailed.
posted by GeeEmm at 7:16 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: OP here. To clarify why I'm having any debate at all: I am not a graphic designer! I am in a field that is famously competitive and difficult to work in. Really, really difficult--most of my classmates still live at home mostly-unemployed five years later and people get laid off constantly. The opportunity to do exactly what I want day-to-day is rare and may not come again for at least a year. Since my current position is a contract one, it never feels 100 percent secure as it is. But at least my current boss wouldn't fire me unless I started setting small fires in the kitchen or something.

And I am someone who thrives on risk--I make wildly impulsive, super-bad decisions all the time! I need a reality check.
posted by queen_mob at 7:28 PM on March 25, 2018


Still a no. All the reasons for not doing this still hold.
posted by Lescha at 7:31 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Don’t work for an asshole.
posted by nicwolff at 7:31 PM on March 25, 2018 [23 favorites]


Best answer: If you go work for a megalomaniac who fires everyone who gets on his bad side, you're not only going to be unemployed really soon, you're going to have to explain why you got fired. That's not fun - even when it's "well, it's That Guy, he fires everyone" the question becomes "well, why did you go work for That Guy when you had a perfectly good job?"

This is a hard no. Keep looking for better work. Wait the year. Do not go do something you know will end badly and quickly.

(Also, you are not going to get effective mentorship at a company run by one of Those Guys. They do not foster a supportive, creative environment. If you get lucky enough to find a good mentor at one of those companies, the best you can hope for is that they are willing to stay in touch when one of you gets suddenly and pointlessly shitcanned. Ask me how I know.)
posted by restless_nomad at 7:33 PM on March 25, 2018 [21 favorites]


Whether or not this is graphic design has no bearing on whether or not this offer sounds good or not. Except for the lack of benefits your current situation sounds pretty chill - focus on that. Also never ever take a pay cut for any reason.
posted by bleep at 7:40 PM on March 25, 2018


Tell them you’ll consider it for 20k more, ie a 10k raise.

If they say yes, then maybe it’s worth considering.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:46 PM on March 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I mean... there's still really not much of a debate. You're getting less money in exchange for the risk of being fired and/or miserable. Hard pass.
posted by AppleTurnover at 7:46 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Here is your reality check: It sounds like a super super bad idea to me.

I understand that the job seems excellent in terms of what you're actually literally doing, but that pay cut is brutal -- there is a huge difference between $39k and $29k when it comes to quality of life. Kiss your spending habits goodbye (if you are a person who likes to buy stuff when you are stressed, also, you won't be able to do that anymore).

I have been a contractor in a field where it's very hard to break in, and there are creative aspects that are sort of intangible, and mentors are beneficial, but the hours can be very long and super stressful. I have actually worked for a mercurial person who liked me (and who I liked as well; we had a successful relationship in a lot of ways, so I actually think that is possible if you know how to handle this guy. It will take a certain amount of concentrated emotional labor, though, so factor that in; I am good at that stuff so it wasn't hard for me, but that's not the case for everyone). Please believe me when I tell you that really long hours working for a boss who needs to be handled in that manner, even if you enjoy him, can be rough sledding, and you deserve to be paid MORE for them, not less. That pay cut would be a dealbreaker for me.

If you're bored at this current job, I actually kind of get that -- but if you leap to a gig that's scary and unreliable, and which will also take you away from your freelance stuff (which will be another cut in income -- it's not just the money from the current salary that you'll be losing), my feeling is, you need to negotiate more money and go into it assuming that you will not have the job within a year and plan for that eventuality. This is not going to be a long-term gig for you. (I've worked a lot of contract jobs and most of them are not super long term anyway, so that part actually wouldn't bother me that much. But I have savings and negligible debt.) You need to be paid considerably more for this to make sense, I think. If they want you to start so quickly so badly, they can pony up.
posted by Countess Sandwich at 7:48 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


Best answer: With your shitload of debt, you really need job security. And you need to work on getting out of debt, which will give you more freedom to take risks. So don’t take a pay cut and don’t take a job where you’re likely to get fired. You say it will be a year for another opportunity to come along. Better to be employed and working on your debt during that year.
posted by FencingGal at 7:49 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


I would have almost limitless creative freedom and the opportunity for close mentorship that I’ve longed for my whole career

This is just something they will do a great job of convincing you is offered and available until the minute you start working there. It is a smokescreen designed to cleverly sabotage you while simultaneously covering their own hides: "Well, we have a well-established mentoring program here [Narrator: Established on paper, but not in practice] and it's a shame you didn't take advantage of it [because it does not actually exist, lol]." The same is true of your supposed "creative freedom" which will really just be used to stab you in the back repeatedly. Ask me how I know.

Do not do this; you will regret it mightily.
posted by sockermom at 7:54 PM on March 25, 2018 [11 favorites]


There's only one benefit you mentioned - creative freedom - which is totally at odds with the fact that the owner is a megalomanic, so we can assume that's not true anyway. Everything else is a massive downside, I wouldn't even consider this position.
posted by Jubey at 8:07 PM on March 25, 2018 [3 favorites]


Um. No. No. HELL no.

You currently have a job that doesn't make you swoon, but it doesn't make you contemplate kicking puppies, either. You have no strong personality conflicts with anyone at your workplace. You don't get benefits, but you get a living wage.

This new job - yeah, sure, you're an FTE, but the numbers don't add up. Benefits are not worth $10K a year, unless you are paying $0 for a full-ride health insurance package that rivals what Congress gets. Also, the person who would be your boss...you already know that they aggravate you. So it sounds like they want to subsidize their business by paying bottom dollar for proven expertise (they know how you work, so they're not hiring based on a resume, they're hiring based on past results.)

This doesn't sound like a good break for you mathematics-wise, nor gut-feel-wise.
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 8:07 PM on March 25, 2018


The opportunity to do exactly what I want day-to-day is rare and may not come again for at least a year.

You'll have the opportunity to do exactly what you want day-to-day when you're unemployed after the psycho CEO fires you, but is that actually what you want?

Also, I can't even fathom how you sustain expensive tastes on a $39K salary, much less $10K less.
posted by praemunire at 8:11 PM on March 25, 2018 [4 favorites]


Have you been job hunting? Sending out resumes? Networking? This opportunity probably sounds appealing because it fell in your lap without any of the resume/cover letter/interview grind, but you could probably get a job with benefits at your salary or above with some elbow grease, right? Do you really know what else is out there for you? If you want to make a move, it seems more prudent to put one of your hobbies aside for a while and put some elbow grease into a job hunt.
posted by Leontine at 8:25 PM on March 25, 2018 [1 favorite]


How this question reads to me:

"Hi folks. I am somebody who enjoys living on the edge and taking risks. Should I pay a professional abuser ten thousand dollars to break both my legs and smash me in the teeth with an iron bar just to see how that works out?"

There's your reality check.
posted by flabdablet at 8:36 PM on March 25, 2018 [12 favorites]


I think you're flattered to be offered the position, and somewhat bored with your current job.
But you should stay. For all the reasons mentioned above. Don't jump ship for the first offer. You've got a good thing going, and if you need to make a change, do it in an empowered and not reactive way, for a "mercurial" boss (who frankly sounds like a nightmare). Congrats on the offer though.
posted by a constant satellite at 8:37 PM on March 25, 2018 [8 favorites]


God no. Stick with what you've got and use your leftover bandwidth to take risks and exercise creative freedom in your freelance gigs.
posted by rpfields at 8:44 PM on March 25, 2018 [4 favorites]


If you got this job offer, you’ll get another good one, at least if you look. Hard pass on terrible and capricious boss. I just can’t imagine this is your only option and your current gig sounds like a comfortable place to figure out in leisure what’s next.
posted by Smearcase at 10:06 PM on March 25, 2018


Wait, so...

1. He wants you to start yesterday
and
2. In this job you would be doing only what you wanted (creatively)

How does that make sense? He wants you to start yesterday doing whatever you want everyday?

He needs someone badly yet isn't even offering what you currently earn?

Do you think he is going to treat you better as his employee than he is treating your employer now?

This is such a bad idea that I can't even.
posted by M. at 11:01 PM on March 25, 2018 [8 favorites]


Working for/with a toxic person is one of the most stressful experiences one could have. Don't do it.
posted by bearette at 2:02 AM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


Yes. One of the most pointlessly stressful experiences one could have. Choosing to do it, especially knowing what you're walking into, is a terrible idea.
posted by flabdablet at 2:23 AM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


Working for a mercurial boss, even when s/he isn't in a position to fire you on a whim(and this one can!), is really, really stressful. I cannot overstate this. It sucks. Don't do it.
posted by Nieshka at 3:52 AM on March 26, 2018


Best answer: A new option was presented to you, reminding you that you are talented and have value and work options. Everybody saying No is correct. But you have more than 2 options - you can:
1. Take terrible underpaid job, learn Life Lesson. Nope
2. Stay in okay job. Okay
3. Stay in okay job, ask for more money, vacation time, benefits. Even if you don't get more, they will respect you for asking.
4. Look for a new job, more money, benefits.
posted by theora55 at 5:08 AM on March 26, 2018


At this firm, I would have almost limitless creative freedom and the opportunity for close mentorship that I’ve longed for my whole career,

But don't you already have almost limitless creative freedom in the ample spare time your current job affords you? I get that you're bored with current job. But this sounds like the perfect opportunity to use that time to set yourself a challenging project and throw yourself into it, build something on your OWN. Treat it like an assignment, give yourself the deadlines or mission, instead of paying 10K to have crazy boss do it.

Also... you could be networking more. My best mentoring experiences have come outside the official workplace, through interacting with people in real life and online.

And if you've got 10K in theoretical money you've got options... You can HIRE A MENTOR to oversee you on your personal project.* Most folks could use some extra income, and some of them are good teachers. And before you balk at the expense, look at your question again. You were willing to consider stepping away from 10K, to make the lifestyle choices that would be required with that pay cut, to work for someone else. Time to invest that money in yourself instead.

I believe you should re-evaluate some of your lifestyle choices, pay down your debt. Build some savings while building your personal project portfolio. (This gives you more options and freedom for ALL aspects of your life, not just work. Spend some time with that thought.) You sound like a passionate person who celebrates quality, and are kind of proud of your tastes. Living frugally doesn't have to be a spartan existence, but requires some thought and creativity and time to pull off. See: any number of previous Asks on living well on less money. And when you have your debt no longer sucking you dry, and more savings in hand, if you haven't found your mentor, seriously...go hire one. Start quietly looking now for who that might be.

*I actually did this for somebody as a gift. Bob (not his real name) wished he had better skill at X. I said, well, let's find somebody who does that. Who's good at X? He named names. I searched online for contact info and found that pro Mr. Z was near us. I called (while Bob sat there with jaw gaping, "You can't just call Mr. Z!" "Watch me.") and ended up hiring Mr. Z to coach for an hourly session rate. I was able to do this because I had a modest bit of extra money sitting in the bank. The experience was Very Cool for Bob, and Mr. Z seemed happy with the extra income.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 5:10 AM on March 26, 2018 [1 favorite]


No no no. $39K is not a good salary. $29K is a terrible salary. I made that much in my first job out of college and could barely keep my head above water, and racked up a lot of debt. And that was 15 years ago.
posted by emd3737 at 5:26 AM on March 26, 2018 [5 favorites]


This is a no-brainer. I've worked for this guy, and my advice to you is: Never, ever, ever, EVER work for this guy. You'll lose your sleep, your health, and eventually your mind. Nothing is worth that. $29k is DEFINITELY not worth that.
posted by invincible summer at 6:12 AM on March 26, 2018


Yeah, I worked for this guy at my first full time job for $5/h in 1989, and I thought, okay, it's kind of what I was expecting a commercial kitchen to be like. He was fun and full of energy, he had some cool ideas about food, and as soon as there was more than one ticket on the board he turned into a GIGANTIC ASSHOLE. Screaming at the other cooks, dishwashers, waitstaff, we weren't moving fast enough or weren't anticipating things right or why couldn't anyone do things right, and once the board was cleared he was nice again. Then the restaurant was sold, three months later the new owners fired his ass because he was a GIGANTIC ASSHOLE, and the new guy they hired was the polar opposite. He was laid back, always told us to think before acting, slow down and work purposefully, and when crunch times hit, he was a island of calm. Also a much better cook.

No fucking way would I work for the first guy again. Maybe if I trusted him to actually pay me let's say $1e7, I'd work for him for a year. But open-ended with a good probability of being fired? Taking a significant pay cut? Having to do endless emotional labor to stay on his good side? I'm guessing he's a time vampire and you'll soon have to be answering his texts immediately all through the weekend and at 1 A.M. and apologizing for not being quick enough? Fuck that, fuck him.

I grok feeling like you need to make a change. This is not at all the change you want to make.
posted by disconnect at 7:19 AM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]


What the hell?!? "Risk-taking" connotes the potential of a payoff. What you're thinking of doing is just straight-up self-sabotage.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 8:10 AM on March 26, 2018 [2 favorites]


I asked Rex Tillerson about your situation and he said, "No."
posted by bz at 10:27 AM on March 26, 2018 [3 favorites]


New job sounds terrible. 29k is letting the company get away with murder for full time work with a butthead. Even 39k with no benefits is not"decently paid". I think the only reason you should jump ship is for more pay AND benefits.
posted by WeekendJen at 12:22 PM on March 26, 2018


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