How to NOT pass out due to someone else's surgery
March 24, 2018 10:51 AM Subscribe
Over the course of many years I've discovered that medical procedures on someone else will make me physically weak and almost to the point of passing out. I've also nearly passed out several times when getting my own blood drawn at the doctor's office, so now there's an embarrassment factor involved along with the anxiety. How can I get myself under control without using xanax or other prescription meds? When you feel the lightheadedness coming on, how do you get a grip on it and stay upright?
My anxiety is rooted in my exceptional ability to overthink and worry about things. I've always had anxiety around hospitals and medical procedures...especially when it's a loved one's procedure. I remember my grandmother YEARS ago showing me her incision from thyroid surgery and I physically got weak and fainty. A few years ago when I went into the recovery room after my dad's shoulder surgery, I got so fainty I had to sit down and the nurse gave me oxygen. Have also had recent episodes of near passing out when having blood drawn at the doctor's office (even without looking at the blood...it's the physical feeling or something). So now this has built up into not only anxiety about surgical procedures, now I have a fear of embarrassing myself by passing out.
Cue boyfriend's peritoneal dialysis catheter replacement surgery in 2 weeks. Scared. Out. Of. My. Gourd. If all goes well it's a 30 min laparoscopic procedure and he will go home (WITH ME OH GOD!) afterwards. His mother will be here (she's done this before) but I need help with keeping my anxiety under control so that I don't get weak and fainty and unable to function.
It's not the actual sight of blood that brings me to the floor (although I'd rather not see lots of bloody stuff), it's the incision and how washed out people look after anesthesia and worrying if they're going to stop breathing or get violently ill or bust stitches or whatever. I can handle boyfriend's dialysis stuff (he does peritoneal) but get squicked out looking at the actual spot where his catheter exits his abdomen. So it's more of a visual thing regarding cuts and incisions than anything else.
How can I get a grip on this over the next two weeks so I can help him? I will need to survive seeing him in recovery and possibly any wound care afterwards. I don't want to get anything like xanax to take, although I'm not opposed to a small shot of wine or some other type of OTC help to calm my nerves (don't want that to be obvious to hospital staff though!). Should I be sniffing something (like aromatherapy type stuff)? How can I interrupt the physical response happening in my body? I'm so anxious about this I'm tearing up right now! (Let's not even begin talking about the kidney transplant coming in the next year! *hits the floor*)
My anxiety is rooted in my exceptional ability to overthink and worry about things. I've always had anxiety around hospitals and medical procedures...especially when it's a loved one's procedure. I remember my grandmother YEARS ago showing me her incision from thyroid surgery and I physically got weak and fainty. A few years ago when I went into the recovery room after my dad's shoulder surgery, I got so fainty I had to sit down and the nurse gave me oxygen. Have also had recent episodes of near passing out when having blood drawn at the doctor's office (even without looking at the blood...it's the physical feeling or something). So now this has built up into not only anxiety about surgical procedures, now I have a fear of embarrassing myself by passing out.
Cue boyfriend's peritoneal dialysis catheter replacement surgery in 2 weeks. Scared. Out. Of. My. Gourd. If all goes well it's a 30 min laparoscopic procedure and he will go home (WITH ME OH GOD!) afterwards. His mother will be here (she's done this before) but I need help with keeping my anxiety under control so that I don't get weak and fainty and unable to function.
It's not the actual sight of blood that brings me to the floor (although I'd rather not see lots of bloody stuff), it's the incision and how washed out people look after anesthesia and worrying if they're going to stop breathing or get violently ill or bust stitches or whatever. I can handle boyfriend's dialysis stuff (he does peritoneal) but get squicked out looking at the actual spot where his catheter exits his abdomen. So it's more of a visual thing regarding cuts and incisions than anything else.
How can I get a grip on this over the next two weeks so I can help him? I will need to survive seeing him in recovery and possibly any wound care afterwards. I don't want to get anything like xanax to take, although I'm not opposed to a small shot of wine or some other type of OTC help to calm my nerves (don't want that to be obvious to hospital staff though!). Should I be sniffing something (like aromatherapy type stuff)? How can I interrupt the physical response happening in my body? I'm so anxious about this I'm tearing up right now! (Let's not even begin talking about the kidney transplant coming in the next year! *hits the floor*)
Best answer: Here's a method for desensitization.
I don't faint from blood/needles, I have vasovagal syncope which is a different fainting issue. But preventing all fainting is about keeping your blood pressure up so it doesn't all rush out of your head. This is going to sound weird, but these things work (for many people, not just me): holding your breath, tensing your abdomen, clenching your fists, trying to get angry, doing squats/jumps, punching the air. If you feel weird about doing that in a doctor's office, go to the bathroom and do it in there. Standing in one place is a bad idea, you need to sit or walk around. Fresh/cold air helps, cold water/ice packs on your extremities, and something sharp to smell (rubbing alcohol works and is in every doctor's office). Drinking lots of water and eating salty things beforehand helps too.
posted by 100kb at 11:23 AM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I don't faint from blood/needles, I have vasovagal syncope which is a different fainting issue. But preventing all fainting is about keeping your blood pressure up so it doesn't all rush out of your head. This is going to sound weird, but these things work (for many people, not just me): holding your breath, tensing your abdomen, clenching your fists, trying to get angry, doing squats/jumps, punching the air. If you feel weird about doing that in a doctor's office, go to the bathroom and do it in there. Standing in one place is a bad idea, you need to sit or walk around. Fresh/cold air helps, cold water/ice packs on your extremities, and something sharp to smell (rubbing alcohol works and is in every doctor's office). Drinking lots of water and eating salty things beforehand helps too.
posted by 100kb at 11:23 AM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I really think this is a vasovagal reaction. They can absolutely be triggered by blood, needles, seeing injury, etc. One maneuver to deal with the faintness is to cross your legs and repeatedly tense your buttock, thigh, and abdominal muscles. It has worked for me.
If everything starts going dark, cough. This will get blood pumping back to your brain again.
posted by snowmentality at 11:32 AM on March 24, 2018 [10 favorites]
If everything starts going dark, cough. This will get blood pumping back to your brain again.
posted by snowmentality at 11:32 AM on March 24, 2018 [10 favorites]
Best answer: I have an anxiety disorder, a panic disorder, and a history of extreme squeamishness when it comes to particular medical triggers. (I have literally fainted in classrooms at least 6 separate times, and I once passed out on an airplane while watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy on my laptop. That was a real blast.)
So as someone who has experience with both anxiety and passing out due to medical stuff, I would say that these are two different problems that might have less overlap than you think. My experience of feeling anxious or panicked is MUCH different than my experience of feeling squeamish or faint, and while treating the anxiety might help the squeamishness and fainting, it also might not.
If I'm freaking out due to anxiety, it's usually because some kind of trigger has caused an avalanche of distorted thinking in my head. As my thoughts spiral, my body gets all keyed up, I start to hyperventilate, and I might feel faint. But I have actually never passed out from anxiety/panic, and all of the tips and tricks you hear about panic attacks (deep breathing, splashing cold water on your face, mastering CBT techniques) work beautifully here.
If I pass out due to squeamishness, it's an entirely physiologically different experience, which as others have mentioned is a vasovagal reaction. It happens REALLY fast, and there's no thought involved at all. It's like my lizard brain has taken the wheel and hits the "you can't handle this" button and it's lights out in under 15 seconds. There isn't even chance to do deep breathing or talk myself out of it; my whole body starts to tingle, I get that sparkly curtain in my vision, my hearing starts to go and people sound really far away, and then I'm on the floor. The only thing I can do to help myself is lie down so I don't actually fall and hurt myself when I faint. I have actually laid down in some pretty gross/weird places (i.e. my vet's office floor) because I knew I was about to faint and wanted to avoid a head injury.
So, my suggestion would be to try and identify what kind of reactions you're having and when.
If you see an incision and immediately pass out, that sounds vasovagal, and maybe not something you can help except through desensitization and some of the good tips that 100kb and snowmentality mentioned. From my understanding, these kinds of reactions are not really under your control, and are very common even in non-anxiety sufferers, so try to remove the layer of anxiety and frustration you have around this. It's okay to tell your boyfriend, his mother, and his medical team that you're super squeamish and need to set boundaries around certain things, like changing a bandage on his incision or driving him home after surgery.
If you're mentally spiraling and physically tense about whether or not your boyfriend will recover, or how you will handle his upcoming medical procedures, that's anxiety, and should be treatable using anything from meds to therapy to books about CBT to deep breathing techniques.
In either scenario, pay attention to your breathing. It is SO common to hold your breath when you're freaked out, which obviously makes everything worse.
Lastly: I used to have so much shame and guilt wrapped up in both my squeamishness and my anxiety. Now that I'm pushing 40 and don't care as much about what people think, I've started to be super open about both of them, and I can't tell you how much it helps. Don't beat yourself up for being sensitive around medical stuff, and let people support you by being open about what you need and how much care you're able to provide to your boyfriend. You sound like a wonderful, supportive partner -- I hope your boyfriend's surgery goes well!
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 11:59 AM on March 24, 2018 [10 favorites]
So as someone who has experience with both anxiety and passing out due to medical stuff, I would say that these are two different problems that might have less overlap than you think. My experience of feeling anxious or panicked is MUCH different than my experience of feeling squeamish or faint, and while treating the anxiety might help the squeamishness and fainting, it also might not.
If I'm freaking out due to anxiety, it's usually because some kind of trigger has caused an avalanche of distorted thinking in my head. As my thoughts spiral, my body gets all keyed up, I start to hyperventilate, and I might feel faint. But I have actually never passed out from anxiety/panic, and all of the tips and tricks you hear about panic attacks (deep breathing, splashing cold water on your face, mastering CBT techniques) work beautifully here.
If I pass out due to squeamishness, it's an entirely physiologically different experience, which as others have mentioned is a vasovagal reaction. It happens REALLY fast, and there's no thought involved at all. It's like my lizard brain has taken the wheel and hits the "you can't handle this" button and it's lights out in under 15 seconds. There isn't even chance to do deep breathing or talk myself out of it; my whole body starts to tingle, I get that sparkly curtain in my vision, my hearing starts to go and people sound really far away, and then I'm on the floor. The only thing I can do to help myself is lie down so I don't actually fall and hurt myself when I faint. I have actually laid down in some pretty gross/weird places (i.e. my vet's office floor) because I knew I was about to faint and wanted to avoid a head injury.
So, my suggestion would be to try and identify what kind of reactions you're having and when.
If you see an incision and immediately pass out, that sounds vasovagal, and maybe not something you can help except through desensitization and some of the good tips that 100kb and snowmentality mentioned. From my understanding, these kinds of reactions are not really under your control, and are very common even in non-anxiety sufferers, so try to remove the layer of anxiety and frustration you have around this. It's okay to tell your boyfriend, his mother, and his medical team that you're super squeamish and need to set boundaries around certain things, like changing a bandage on his incision or driving him home after surgery.
If you're mentally spiraling and physically tense about whether or not your boyfriend will recover, or how you will handle his upcoming medical procedures, that's anxiety, and should be treatable using anything from meds to therapy to books about CBT to deep breathing techniques.
In either scenario, pay attention to your breathing. It is SO common to hold your breath when you're freaked out, which obviously makes everything worse.
Lastly: I used to have so much shame and guilt wrapped up in both my squeamishness and my anxiety. Now that I'm pushing 40 and don't care as much about what people think, I've started to be super open about both of them, and I can't tell you how much it helps. Don't beat yourself up for being sensitive around medical stuff, and let people support you by being open about what you need and how much care you're able to provide to your boyfriend. You sound like a wonderful, supportive partner -- I hope your boyfriend's surgery goes well!
posted by leftover_scrabble_rack at 11:59 AM on March 24, 2018 [10 favorites]
I used to faint every time my blood was taken, and also when I was around medical procedures, or in fact, one time I fainted just because my girlfriend at the time called me to let me know she had been in a car accident and was bleeding and going to the hospital. That time I passed right out in the living room, hit my head on the coffee table and woke up with a worse head injury than she ended up having from her crash. In the past few years, I've been much better, almost entirely, I think, because I used to be extremely skinny and I've gained a lot of weight in the past 5 years. So, I'm not saying: get fat to stop the fainting, but it helped me.
posted by dis_integration at 12:18 PM on March 24, 2018
posted by dis_integration at 12:18 PM on March 24, 2018
I have also fainted in many embarrassing places, including while hearing a medical procedure that has nothing to do with me DESCRIBED to someone else. I have no good tips except to try to keep your triggering things outside of your line of sight as much as possible so you can take care of everything else - basically know your limits but be extra helpful within them. If you can't clean a wound, can you get a kit together and make sure you always have fresh materials ready for your boyfriend to clean it himself (after you've left the room), etc?
If you do get 30 seconds of warning before you go down, sitting on the floor with your head between your knees with a cool towel on your neck might help you stave off fainting. But, I find that once the reaction starts, no matter what tricks I use, I'll black out eventually. I can, by now, buy myself enough time to get on the floor so I don't crash too hard.
posted by snaw at 12:33 PM on March 24, 2018
If you do get 30 seconds of warning before you go down, sitting on the floor with your head between your knees with a cool towel on your neck might help you stave off fainting. But, I find that once the reaction starts, no matter what tricks I use, I'll black out eventually. I can, by now, buy myself enough time to get on the floor so I don't crash too hard.
posted by snaw at 12:33 PM on March 24, 2018
Best answer: It is a vasovagal response, and you should practice doing the mitigation maneuvers so you strengthen the muscles required.
You have enough time to undertake some basic CBT techniques; see the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook on Amazon, which you could get in ebook form and start today.
Along with using whatever CBT techniques most appeal to you, you might come up with a mantra to use along with your vasovagal exercises so you automatically do the physical action while thinking something like "This is about him, not me" or "I need to be conscious to handle this situation". Or something catchier, I'm not good at slogans, but you get the point.
Most people do actually rise to the occasion in the moment when the stakes are super high and you have a very important role to focus on, as long as they don't do rookie moves like locking their knees or going from sitting to standing quickly. (Practice not doing those things too.) But practicing the tools you need is how you strengthen them for the real thing.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:58 PM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
You have enough time to undertake some basic CBT techniques; see the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook on Amazon, which you could get in ebook form and start today.
Along with using whatever CBT techniques most appeal to you, you might come up with a mantra to use along with your vasovagal exercises so you automatically do the physical action while thinking something like "This is about him, not me" or "I need to be conscious to handle this situation". Or something catchier, I'm not good at slogans, but you get the point.
Most people do actually rise to the occasion in the moment when the stakes are super high and you have a very important role to focus on, as long as they don't do rookie moves like locking their knees or going from sitting to standing quickly. (Practice not doing those things too.) But practicing the tools you need is how you strengthen them for the real thing.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:58 PM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Please don't feel shame about this. It's not unusual and you are trying to manage it.
posted by theora55 at 8:13 PM on March 24, 2018
posted by theora55 at 8:13 PM on March 24, 2018
Best answer: Airforce pilots working to not pass out from high G-Force manuovers are trained to tense their lower body---legs, glutes, abs, iirc---helps keep blood going to the brain.
This is not a moral issue, so I encourage you to not feel shame about it. Easier said than done, but hey, imagine how folks who had epileptic fits from flashing lights felt (before it became a somewhat well known issue)?
posted by wires at 3:52 PM on March 25, 2018
This is not a moral issue, so I encourage you to not feel shame about it. Easier said than done, but hey, imagine how folks who had epileptic fits from flashing lights felt (before it became a somewhat well known issue)?
posted by wires at 3:52 PM on March 25, 2018
Response by poster: Update: I DIDN'T PASS OUT!!!! I was super anxious and nervous (and cried twice), but I kept breathing and when I went back to the recovery area to help him get dressed, I kept breathing and kept my legs moving. The nurse was super nice when I told her I don't do well in these types of situations. He puked twice right in front of me, but I just kept breathing and kept fidgeting/moving. I also ate a lot of LifeSavers!
We got him home and he is recovering well. Surgery went great (he's on peritoneal dialysis so that's an added complication), restarting dialysis went well...I'm very happy overall! Thanks so much for your advice! YAAAAYYY!!! (now to mentally prepare myself for a kidney transplant when that time comes).
posted by MultiFaceted at 4:24 PM on April 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
We got him home and he is recovering well. Surgery went great (he's on peritoneal dialysis so that's an added complication), restarting dialysis went well...I'm very happy overall! Thanks so much for your advice! YAAAAYYY!!! (now to mentally prepare myself for a kidney transplant when that time comes).
posted by MultiFaceted at 4:24 PM on April 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
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posted by Iris Gambol at 11:22 AM on March 24, 2018