Help me prank my honey!
March 19, 2018 10:03 PM Subscribe
Mr. Confusion and I are coming up on our first wedding anniversary, and I need some help in coming up with a way to prank him appropriately. We had the good sense to get married on April 1, so this will be an annual problem, but I need some help getting the ball rolling. What would be a good way to prank him lovingly? Bonus if it involves the traditional wedding anniversary gift nonsense—for the first year of marriage, it's supposed to be paper.
Wrap things he needs for his morning routine in paper. Mirror, toothbrush, shoes, top bowl in the stack, a spoon... You probably know where the balance between prank and rage inducement is here.
posted by momus_window at 10:14 PM on March 19, 2018 [18 favorites]
posted by momus_window at 10:14 PM on March 19, 2018 [18 favorites]
Pleasant confusion indeed! This makes me smile. It depends if he is a toilet-paper-direction loyalist but you could switch the TP to his crazy-making direction. Another cute solution would be to make a little prop anniversary breakfast for him cartooned on separate pieces of cardboard and cut out, like a cartoon coffee and cartoon rose in a vast and cartoon pancakes and bacon on a cartoon plate. Or a cardboard cut out of you holding a sign saying happy anniversary in the shower.
posted by athirstforsalt at 10:27 PM on March 19, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by athirstforsalt at 10:27 PM on March 19, 2018 [7 favorites]
Have his car replaced in the middle of the night with a paper cut-out (large card board, printer sized on cardstock) so when he comes out in the morning...
Or, something sweet and professionally made featuring a heart with your anniversary engraved on it in a place he'll least expect it? Bonus points if it can later be made into a christmas ornament.
posted by jbenben at 10:33 PM on March 19, 2018 [6 favorites]
Or, something sweet and professionally made featuring a heart with your anniversary engraved on it in a place he'll least expect it? Bonus points if it can later be made into a christmas ornament.
posted by jbenben at 10:33 PM on March 19, 2018 [6 favorites]
A blank book (if you’re crafty, maybe add a title like “Our Wedding Anniversary Prank Scrapbook” in pretty calligraphy?)...wrapped dozens and dozens of times.
posted by armeowda at 10:33 PM on March 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by armeowda at 10:33 PM on March 19, 2018 [4 favorites]
Give him a wrapped present.
Under the wrapping, it's another wrapped present.
Under that wrapping, it's another wrapped present.
Keep going for as many layers as your patience enables.
At the core, it's a folded slip of paper, wishing him a happy foolsivesrary.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:49 PM on March 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
Under the wrapping, it's another wrapped present.
Under that wrapping, it's another wrapped present.
Keep going for as many layers as your patience enables.
At the core, it's a folded slip of paper, wishing him a happy foolsivesrary.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:49 PM on March 19, 2018 [3 favorites]
A letter (paper) sent to his workplace mocked up to look like it came from the State office telling him of a retrospective law that makes April 1st marriages illegal.
Eh. April first is on a Sunday. Maybe next year you can cross stitch a cushion...
posted by Thella at 10:50 PM on March 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
Eh. April first is on a Sunday. Maybe next year you can cross stitch a cushion...
posted by Thella at 10:50 PM on March 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
Super plush top of the line 8ply toilet paper? Plus bathroom reading material?
A really nice leatherbound journal/sketchbook with a (removable) title of, "All the things I hate about being married to you," with nothing but blank pages inside.
posted by OnefortheLast at 11:00 PM on March 19, 2018
A really nice leatherbound journal/sketchbook with a (removable) title of, "All the things I hate about being married to you," with nothing but blank pages inside.
posted by OnefortheLast at 11:00 PM on March 19, 2018
Something you know he really wants but won't justify spending the money on... But, google "Post-it pranks" for wrapping inspiration.
One of those hand-made "coupon" books with mediocre redeems on them, make sure the expiry date on them has passed, and is well indicated, maybe even throw in some distasteful pharmacy product coupons, but on the very last page of the coupon book is actual tickets for a band or event he loves.
posted by OnefortheLast at 11:17 PM on March 19, 2018 [14 favorites]
One of those hand-made "coupon" books with mediocre redeems on them, make sure the expiry date on them has passed, and is well indicated, maybe even throw in some distasteful pharmacy product coupons, but on the very last page of the coupon book is actual tickets for a band or event he loves.
posted by OnefortheLast at 11:17 PM on March 19, 2018 [14 favorites]
Ticket to something he hates, switched to ticket to something he likes.
posted by brujita at 11:34 PM on March 19, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by brujita at 11:34 PM on March 19, 2018 [7 favorites]
When I was staying with a friend, he gave me access to his wireless printer via google print. I still had it paired up after I left, and it still worked, despite me being in a different country. So months after I left, I printed out a graphic with his pets name and a paw print, and wrote 'Pets name was here,' in simple scrawl. He found the paper in the morning on the floor, and got a real kick out of it.
So if you have a printer and you can remote print something funny, either while he's at home and you're not, or something for him to find later, with perhaps a funny meme or in-joke, he may find it pretty cute and funny.
Also, in the spirit of the Poopin on Dad pic but a bit more elaborate, I printed out a funny picture of me, making a face, and I blew it up pretty big, and then I put it in places where my family wasn't expecting. Breadbasket, inside pantry door, letter box, freezer, glove compartment-- basically places you don't expect and will open and look into, and the kicker was the toilet bowl. Bonus points if you make all the pics of yourself look different and sillier each time.
Also this fake toilet paper roll trick is pretty good.
Tech pranks are pretty funny, too, although they don't involve paper. Get a bluetooth keyboard and mouse, and pair it to his computer, and then take access while he's using it.
posted by Dimes at 2:41 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
So if you have a printer and you can remote print something funny, either while he's at home and you're not, or something for him to find later, with perhaps a funny meme or in-joke, he may find it pretty cute and funny.
Also, in the spirit of the Poopin on Dad pic but a bit more elaborate, I printed out a funny picture of me, making a face, and I blew it up pretty big, and then I put it in places where my family wasn't expecting. Breadbasket, inside pantry door, letter box, freezer, glove compartment-- basically places you don't expect and will open and look into, and the kicker was the toilet bowl. Bonus points if you make all the pics of yourself look different and sillier each time.
Also this fake toilet paper roll trick is pretty good.
Tech pranks are pretty funny, too, although they don't involve paper. Get a bluetooth keyboard and mouse, and pair it to his computer, and then take access while he's using it.
posted by Dimes at 2:41 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
The key to a good-natured prank is to aim for silliness and end on a high note, rather than anything that might cause disappointment or fear.
I would go for a fake “official” letter mixed in with the real mail (if he doesn’t notice it on his own you can be like “hey honey, this looks really important”) and have it be something super preposterous like a jury summons for Chicken Court in another state, but end the letter with a note that you’ve made dinner reservations tonight at X, or to look in a certain location where you’ve hidden a real gift, or something like that.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:59 AM on March 20, 2018 [7 favorites]
I would go for a fake “official” letter mixed in with the real mail (if he doesn’t notice it on his own you can be like “hey honey, this looks really important”) and have it be something super preposterous like a jury summons for Chicken Court in another state, but end the letter with a note that you’ve made dinner reservations tonight at X, or to look in a certain location where you’ve hidden a real gift, or something like that.
posted by Metroid Baby at 3:59 AM on March 20, 2018 [7 favorites]
It's Easter, so maybe also incorporate Easter silliness in there? Like an overload of chocolate eggs or something. And treat it as though the only notable thing that day is Easter until the very last moment, where you break out the actual anniversary gift.
posted by divabat at 4:28 AM on March 20, 2018
posted by divabat at 4:28 AM on March 20, 2018
Confetti! Maybe a box that pops out confetti and then a real gift is inside?
posted by raccoon409 at 5:46 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by raccoon409 at 5:46 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
Papering a doorway is a pretty classic prank and in line with the theme.
posted by solotoro at 6:38 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by solotoro at 6:38 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Have a friend pose to be a reporter and call him for an interview about getting married on April Fool's day. Then print up a fake paper with the fake article on the front page.
posted by emd3737 at 7:01 AM on March 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by emd3737 at 7:01 AM on March 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
Hide your real anniversary gift inside a hollowed-out re-sealed ream of paper.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 7:03 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by galvanized unicorn at 7:03 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
I wallpapered several friends' offices in grad school... once with LOLcats, and once with Hello Kitty wrapping paper. I suggest something similar.
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 7:04 AM on March 20, 2018
posted by Making You Bored For Science at 7:04 AM on March 20, 2018
Make a papier-mache model of his head - it will come out looking bumpy and weird and bizarre of course- and act like it's your anniversary present to him, with total earnestness. Giggle inwardly as he attempts to be appreciative and kind about it. Help him choose a nice prominent display spot. When the moment is right, tell him it is just a prank, produce a cute gift.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:02 AM on March 20, 2018
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:02 AM on March 20, 2018
A young paper birch tree, then he can peel his own paper bark off in oh, 25 years or so.
A paper fortune teller, like kids make in school, where the actual gift will be a surprise to you both.
(You should really post every year for ideas, this is fun.)
posted by OnefortheLast at 8:19 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
A paper fortune teller, like kids make in school, where the actual gift will be a surprise to you both.
(You should really post every year for ideas, this is fun.)
posted by OnefortheLast at 8:19 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Last year I slashed his tires. The year before that the toilet leeked at 5am.
posted by headnsouth at 9:42 AM on March 20, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by headnsouth at 9:42 AM on March 20, 2018 [9 favorites]
Papering a doorway is a pretty classic prank and in line with the theme.
Even better if you use a brick-patterned wrapping paper with a large word bubble reading "OH YEAH" affixed to it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:09 AM on March 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
Even better if you use a brick-patterned wrapping paper with a large word bubble reading "OH YEAH" affixed to it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:09 AM on March 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
Wear a paper dress or paper lingerie? Etsy seems to sell them both.
posted by bz at 11:10 AM on March 20, 2018
posted by bz at 11:10 AM on March 20, 2018
I once gave a friend a (faked) gift cert. to a tattoo shop. Used Paint so it looked quite cheesy and pasted in a number of tattoo ideas for her(dragon, butterfly, back stamp, etc.). Her husband would have had a massive hissy, and she has no tattoo plans.
posted by theora55 at 11:23 AM on March 20, 2018
posted by theora55 at 11:23 AM on March 20, 2018
This has nothing to do with paper, but every year, my grandmother pranked my grandpa by replacing the sugar in the bowl with salt, during his morning coffee. For literally 53 years she did this.
Some years he'd legitimately forget about April Fools and end up dumping salt in his coffee. Some years he'd call her out. And some years he'd yell, "OH YOU GOT ME!" in a way that was silly, and obviously humoring her.
I think the predictability of the prank is what I find so sweet, cute, and kind of romantic. And besides, you don't have to think up a new one every year. >:-)
So yeah—maybe same prank every year?
posted by functionequalsform at 12:29 PM on March 20, 2018 [10 favorites]
Some years he'd legitimately forget about April Fools and end up dumping salt in his coffee. Some years he'd call her out. And some years he'd yell, "OH YOU GOT ME!" in a way that was silly, and obviously humoring her.
I think the predictability of the prank is what I find so sweet, cute, and kind of romantic. And besides, you don't have to think up a new one every year. >:-)
So yeah—maybe same prank every year?
posted by functionequalsform at 12:29 PM on March 20, 2018 [10 favorites]
Recycle some large boxes into a humongous anniversary card. Add some pictures from the past year, or sketch out some drawings of the highlights. Wrap it in a white sheet and pin on an address label and an enlarged "postage stamp." Bonus points if a neighbor can prop it in front of the door when the two of you are out of the house. You pull into the driveway / come up the stairs / otherwise return... and... "How did the postman deliver this... wait, it's Sunday... wha...?"
posted by TrishaU at 2:48 AM on March 21, 2018
posted by TrishaU at 2:48 AM on March 21, 2018
This year Easter Sunday falls on April first... It strikes me that an Easter themed prank would work.
For example you could get a package of those little foil covered chocolate Easter eggs, and a bunch of grapes and carefully unwrap all the chocolates and re-wrap the grapes in the foil.
You could get a hollow chocolate bunny and put something inside it, or inside the box, spring-loaded to burst out at him. Or put something unexpected inside eggs.
You could base the prank on Monty Python's Dread Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
posted by Jane the Brown at 3:41 PM on March 21, 2018
For example you could get a package of those little foil covered chocolate Easter eggs, and a bunch of grapes and carefully unwrap all the chocolates and re-wrap the grapes in the foil.
You could get a hollow chocolate bunny and put something inside it, or inside the box, spring-loaded to burst out at him. Or put something unexpected inside eggs.
You could base the prank on Monty Python's Dread Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
posted by Jane the Brown at 3:41 PM on March 21, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by OnefortheLast at 10:08 PM on March 19, 2018 [3 favorites]