What does a parent of a 9th grader need to know about college?

March 6, 2018 1:50 PM

My kid is in 9th grade, and I'm wondering what I need to know, at this point, about getting my kid into college? Esp. with respect to a nontraditional school (no grades, for example). Is there anything I need to be doing now?

Some additional details:

-- For the purpose of this question I am talking about 4-year colleges in the US. I do not want to talk about community college or the no-college route.
-- My kid's nontraditional school does get its graduates into colleges (100% graduation rate, 100% four-year college acceptance), so I'm not concerned that I need to, for example, switch schools.
-- I know this school plays a big part in the college application process and provides a lot of guidance, but this starts in 11th grade.
--My kid is quite bright, lazy like a typical teen boy, so far has done exceptionally well in state-mandated standardized testing, is not a stand-out genius or the type of kid who'll be recruited for athletic ability. Bright normal, I guess.

So, parents: what do you wish you'd known about this when your kid was in 9th grade?

posted by BlahLaLa to Education (38 answers total)

Different colleges have different requirements about high school classes, e.g. two or three years of a foreign language.
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:59 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

If your kid is the type who might forget activities he's done or things he's accomplished, I'd start keeping some light notes now (nothing fancy, just a little running list) to make things easier.

If you go on vacations, consider touring a school or two while there. It may help him get a clearer idea of what he does - or doesn't - want in a college, so that he can work toward that. It doesn't have to be the specific school he may someday end up in, but it can give him an idea of how he feels about size, rural/urban-ness, residential life, whatever.

Never too early to start researching scholarships - there are often a lot of small/local/specialized ones that can be gotten relatively easily but only if you know where to look for them.
posted by mosst at 2:02 PM on March 6, 2018 [10 favorites]

Also, while it isn't strictly getting into college, part of getting ready for college is discussing finances. If you set expectations with him about what you will or won't be able to help with, and you discuss what various amounts of college debt mean/feel like/add up to/require, then you can help him avoid being blindsided come senior year (or at college graduation) by something he didn't expect or understand.
posted by mosst at 2:06 PM on March 6, 2018 [11 favorites]

Also (and as my third comment, I realize how ironic it is): don't do too much, especially now. Kids get so much college-centric messaging throughout school, to the point where high school almost feels like it's just one long preparatory test. Allow him to simply be a high schooler without college being the be-all-end-all arbiter of success. There's a good reason that the preparatory stuff starts in 11th grade.
posted by mosst at 2:08 PM on March 6, 2018 [8 favorites]

I can't speak to the nontraditional school part of it, but keep good records of activities and volunteer hours because it is hella hard to remember all that when it is time to brag about yourself. Sharpen his writing skills. Depending on what type of school he ends up wanted in attend he will probaby need to write some essays You get into state schools with your grades and ACT - often you get the scholarships with additional essays.
posted by domino at 2:10 PM on March 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

Internships. Internships in the field(s) he is most interested in are worth their weight when shown on a college application AND make great fodder for college application essays. I wish I had done more than one as a junior. Let me know if I can help. There are a few ways to approach that process if you think your son might be persuaded to do one or two. :)
posted by Hermione Granger at 2:11 PM on March 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

Consider this as mere anecdata, since I'm not sure how widespread it is. There may be some degree of collusion between your school's college counselor and the various colleges, and/or between the colleges themselves.

In this kind of situation, the various parties agree among themselves behind the scenes that your son is a great prospect, and that if he is admitted to prestigious college A, then the other colleges will no longer need to consider him. This kind of thing benefits all the colleges by simplifying their decisions, and benefits your school in that it gets your son into prestigious college A.
posted by JimN2TAW at 2:24 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

I disagree on waiting until 11th grade. If you're missing an entrance requirement then it's too late to make it up. Your kid may want to take the PSAT in 10th grade if they're not used to taking big tests, instead of waiting until 11th grade.

100% four-year college acceptance

No offense to your school but this is meaningless. There are plenty of 4-year schools in the US that aren't worth the time or money for a bright student (or anyone really).

I would say the main thing is to have a plan of what needs to be done and when. You probably don't need to do most stuff until 11th at earliest and all the applications happen at the beginning of 12th, but no reason you can't make a plan now.

Also you can do school tours anytime, I don't think it hurts to start early. Better to start early than try to see a dozen schools all over the country in one month between junior and senior year.

Presumably without grades your kid is going to get into college mostly based on SAT or ACT scores. So I'd definitely take the PSAT in 10th so you know where you stand on that. If he scores poorly on the PSAT you'd want some time to work on improving those scores.

Finally, go ask some university admissions people. We have info sessions from tons of school every fall and big universities have full-time people dedicated to helping people figure out the admissions process. No harm in going to a few info sessions this coming fall and asking them directly what they do for kids from schools like yours.
posted by GuyZero at 2:25 PM on March 6, 2018 [4 favorites]

I really liked having around one of those big paperback Insider's Guide to Colleges or what have you. You know the ones that list all the schools and have quotes about the dorms and the cafeteria program and how hard you have to study. I think that having one of those around gets kids to start at least thinking about their options, how far, how big, liberal arts or nah etc. It's a pretty low-key thing to start with.
posted by rdnnyc at 2:30 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'd begin defining what non-traditional means to both you and your child, and exploring career paths. Should the school be non-grading and a bit more aimed at helping you through but otherwise relatively standard? One that has you work in lieu of tuition like that one in Kentucky? One that is very very very highly specialized and competitive like some engineering or military colleges? A traditional school that has tons of help for those with special needs?

And where are these schools and what is their cost? Is your child still interested if the best school in the world is in NYC? The middle of Kansas? Are you still interested if tuition and books are 55K/year?

And what monitoring will you do of the application process? I've heard rumors of kids who did not apply to all expected schools because they hated the location or the majors offered, etc. ("did not apply as expected" as in the schools do so much by email and online that the parents never knew the app wasn't sent in/that the student was accepted/saw the financial aid offer, etc.)
posted by beaning at 2:36 PM on March 6, 2018

Do you understand how need/ merit financial aid works? Do you know the difference between institutional and federal/state aid? Most colleges practice tuition discounting so financial aid isn't out of the question.

I would also encourage your son to find a meaningful extra curricular activity (or several). Maybe the local community college offers a course for teens in his area of interest. Or perhaps he would like to volunteer/intern somewhere. Colleges also respect when teenagers work.

As a parent, you might want to read Colleges that Change Lives.
posted by oceano at 2:37 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

If the school has 100% graduation and 100% college acceptance, and their guidance program starts in 11th Grade… why not go with that?
posted by robcorr at 3:20 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

My crappy high school had zero ACT/SAT prep. I did fine but in college I realized that kids who went to swanky prep schools with built-in test prep classes were the ones who got most of the merit scholarships based on test scores that were only slightly higher than my show up with no prep day of scores.

It may be worth looking into some test prep early if only because it can save you thousands of dollars in tuition in certain circumstances.

https://www.princetonreview.com/college-advice/sat-act-scores-merit-scholarships
posted by forkisbetter at 3:28 PM on March 6, 2018 [2 favorites]

I suspect your kid is going to be fine. His school's whole program is probably built to make students competitive for college, so much so that they don't have to do much formal advising until the students are actually in the process of selecting schools and applying. Students probably need more formal guidance in public schools, because the whole school isn't set up for students who are going to college. They have to understand which options are right for college-bound students, because there are options available for kids who are going to take other paths.

Having said that, if your son is at all interested in studying science, he should make sure that he has strong math skills. If that's not one of his school's strengths, he could look into taking a class or two at a local college. Most community colleges allow high-school students to enroll, and some four-year schools do, too. That could also give him some exposure to a more-traditional classroom, which could be a bit of a shock to his system. (But keep in mind that big lecture classes can be a shock to the system of conventionally-educated students, too.)

He may be inclined to stop studying a language relatively soon, and he should seriously look at colleges' requirements and policies before he does that. My institution only requires that students take two years of world language in high school, but it exempts students who studied four years of language from the college language requirement, and the college language requirement is frankly a little ridiculous.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 3:30 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

The 100% college acceptance rate is any college. What kind of college do you want your kid to go to? What kind of college does your kid want to go to? What kind of college can you afford?

I got through this by having an older cousin who went through the college rigamarole a few years ahead of me: I saw which of her friends got into the types of schools I wanted to go to, and did what they did. This is no guarantee, but, you know, comes pretty close!

If your kid isn't pathologically indoctrinated into getting into school like I was, then I guess you can do the asking around for him.

For some schools, starting in 11th grade is way too late. Everyone who was in AP Calculus in 11th grade has known that they were since 7th grade when they did Algebra I instead of Pre-Algebra. Not everything is like this, but I would look at the goals and find the prerequisite chains, then find the attainable prerequisite chains. (e.g. if your kid has siblings and they are all going to the state school that will happily take your AP credits, what does it take to get into the AP classes...?)
posted by batter_my_heart at 3:32 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm a high school teacher and here are a few things that will help your kid:

1. Have them learn different organizational strategies and study skills. Whether it's creating practice tests, rewriting notes, making diagrams of new information, the more skills your kid has that they can internally draw upon to do solid learning, the better. Not knowing information is one thing, not knowing HOW to study is another.
2. Let them try fun things. Flying lessons, volunteering, trapeze classes, really let them get out there and try things. Radio internships, geocaching, whatever.
3. Don't stress too much about the competitive college race. There's the right school for everyone and it's too easy to get wrapped up in top-notch schools and that puts a lot of pressure on a kid.
4. Hard as it is, try not to portray college as these critical 4 years of excellent education. As much as possible, frame it as a new adventure where they will make friends and learn cool things and work hard.

I think lastly, I wish someone had told me when my eldest was in 9th grade that I really didn't have to worry about it at all. By the time my 3rd kid was in 9th grade, it was something we didn't really talk about too much. I trusted the school and I knew that my kid didn't need to hear college talk from me--it just stressed them out a lot. So I guess I'd say that even though we think we're being chill and lowkey, hearing parents talk about college can feel like a lot of pressure.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:33 PM on March 6, 2018 [5 favorites]

Get him ready by getting his academic work habits in order. Higher ed course content becomes more dense and if he skates in high school, that can result in floundering once they are on their own with a full schedule.

Look up “helicopter parent” and “lawnmower parent” and get him through the next 4 years so you are not one.

Get in touch with your high school parents group. Some will have older kids that graduated-chat them up over whatever gathering or fundraiser and see what their experience has been. Go to the school’s freshman parent events -they have wisdom, too, ask questions, as this is not their first rodeo, either.

Go to college events with your kiddo to normalize the next step. Bring him to your homecoming. Go see a play, music, or performing/visual arts at any relevant university - some of this is free. I got to see Octavia Butler, a favorite author, this way. Know your teen’s interests and match them up accordingly.
posted by childofTethys at 3:33 PM on March 6, 2018

Forget college, start talking to him about careers and lifestyles and what he'd like to do. And money. Encourage or make him take some part time and summer jobs. Get him a bank account and work in his financial literacy. Expose him to different lifestyles, maybe you live in the suburbs and he really feels at home in the city or the forest or a rural area. Help him explore his options while he still has them.

College is no longer a rite of passage or a stage of life. It's a huge financial investment and only worth it if you are 90-100% sure you will use it. Or you go to a cheap school or get a scholarship. Otherwise he's better off working for a while until he knows what he wants to study, even if it's crap work or travel work like a cruise ship or something. Or maybe he takes up a trade for a while. Or travels.

Basically, unless you're filthy rich don't just assume he should go to college right away. Talk to him and make sure he understands loans and budgeting and how money works and how to pick a career. And most importantly how to be happy and keep in mind what he wants from life and to be smart and not get trapped.
posted by fshgrl at 3:40 PM on March 6, 2018

Wow, there is a lot of varying information here: do a lot, do a little, do nothing. The answer depends on your goals. Your best resource given your school will be other parents at your school especially those who have students who've already graduated. With regard to your 9th grader, having a variety of interests both in and out of school (or work or home) and being able to demonstrate those interests is not bad advice for anyone. Take a look at the Common App and supplemental essays. Here's information on Pitt's. I recently listened to Eliza Starting at 16's podcast advice for students in the college application process. Eliza is author Gretchen Rubin's daughter. I'm not sure how to link to her podcast, it is the episode close to October of 2016 when she applied to college. While these may or may not be especially useful details for your child at this point, it might be useful for you as the application and associated process is the functional bridge between here and college.
posted by RoadScholar at 4:06 PM on March 6, 2018

I do not want to talk about community college

Unfortunate, because community colleges are valuable, local, and can be a cheaper way to transfer into a 4 year and allow him flexibility to live at home and work, too. He'll be an adult at the age of graduation, and if this is something he would like to pursue, I would hope you wouldn't discourage that.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 4:07 PM on March 6, 2018 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks for the answers so far. To clarify a few things:

-- He may indeed be interested in community college. It's just not a part of this question.
-- His school is public (charter), and a deeply interesting place. The hands-on college process is because, among other reasons, it's a TItle I school that's two-thirds Latino, meaning many parents can't/won't get involved with college -- they may lack the language skills, they may be undocumented and thus scared or otherwise unwilling to engage in the process, or they may have the desire to be involved but lack knowledge on their own. So it's great that the school does so much. But yeah, my perspective is different from other parents', in that I'm white, and a college grad, middle class, etc.
-- The school ensures that all students take coursework that meets entrance requirements. There's no option to, say, not continue in foreign language.
-- There's no PTA or parents group, hence me turning to you fabulous people. And yeah, just reaching out to friends of mine gets me the advice to do a lot, do a little, do nothing, it's too early, it's too late. Aargh.
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:38 PM on March 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

I second the recommendation for him to get a job. I worked starting in 9th grade and it was motivating - I knew I didn't want to have to bus tables forever, so college felt very appealing. It also gave me an adult sense of accomplishment to get my own paycheck.

The best source of info about particular colleges are the current and former students. At some point it will be useful to talk to them. But I agree that there is no need to focus on it too much now.
posted by mai at 4:46 PM on March 6, 2018

Maybe look into what dual enrollment / concurrent enrollment options are available at your local state U in the summer, etc. Not every school does it, but some allow very early admissions, and you might be surprised at how modest the requirements can be. Based on my scores/grades at age 14, you wouldn't have said more about me than you've said about your kid, but I completed around 60 semester hours before I turned 17 by focusing on university offerings that just weren't relevant to anything that remained for me in high school. Think, like, Geology 101 after your high school offers no more Earth Science, or Psych 101 when your high school doesn't offer it at all, or semi-vocational intro classes like "Information Science 101" (rather than CS) or whatnot. It was a blast--a vastly more engaging academic experience than high school. I do think it could be a little risky if the eventual goal is to apply someplace that would look down on a B or whatever, but I wasn't aiming for anything that selective.
posted by Wobbuffet at 4:51 PM on March 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

The way to get into a good college these days is too both take hard classes (and do well) and to be an interesting person, at least on paper. Volunteering, extra curricular activities, internships, sports, personal projects, etc are great both for making your son stand out from the crowd and, perhaps more importantly, learn about what interests him/her and develop a better understanding of what he wants to do. I would encourage him to explore these kinds of activities.

As far as the non traditional school, I would mostly ignore the 100% number and try to figure out what % students get admitted to top tier colleges. That's a more meaningful number. If there isn't at least someone admitted to an Ivy/MIT/Stanford/etc in the last few years, or if the # of people admitted to the top state school is small I would be concerned. I don't know how colleges handle applications without grades or GPAs but I would be concerned that it could hurt your kid.
posted by bsdfish at 5:09 PM on March 6, 2018

I would strongly consider encouraging your kid to get a job, or to investigate internships. Getting in the habit of working is great, and it sounds like your school and you will take care of all the other crap that can affect life success (extracurriculars, grades, AP courses, and just knowing how to apply to college). Getting into college is not as important as succeeding during and after college, and nothing helps that as much as getting practice balancing work/school and developing workplace skills and experience.
posted by thelastpolarbear at 5:25 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

Side bonus of having a high school job serving coffee or busing tables etc, the ones who did tend to be SO MUCH NICER to retail/service level employees as adults. It's a good empathy builder.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 5:38 PM on March 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

Yeah, you need to understand where the students at his school are matriculating. If they are not going to the kind of school that he wants to attend or that you think would be appropriate for him, you are likely going to need to take a much more active role in managing his college admissions process. Especially if your school doesn't give grades, you need to understand what information they do give to colleges about the kids in order to capture those students' academic performance.

If this is a Title I public school with no grades and a lot of 1st/2nd generation immigrants that has a high college matriculation rate, it's very likely that the guidance office has close relationships with a specific set of colleges. If your kid wants to go to a selective school that the guidance office does not have a relationship with, that is likely to be a bigger challenge that you are going to have to address. It may be appropriate for you to look at resources for homeschooled kids and recommendations for how they approach college admissions.
posted by phoenixy at 6:09 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'm not a parent, but I did go through the college application process guided by a parent who was not educated in the US.*

It'd be good to try to suss out early what sort of kid the school's college counseling serves well. What I needed out of college both socially and academically was way out of step with most of my high school and the advice I got from the school was ranged between dubious and obviously false. It was pretty clear what schools and majors were seen as acceptable and it was honestly only dumb luck (and some honest professors at a visit day) that I didn't make what would have been a suboptimal choice because it was what my school was priming me to do.

If he has another parent you're not married to, make sure you understand how financial aid works in your particular situation (and note that the FAFSA and CSS Profile (used by some private universities) may handle this differently).

*We leaned heavily on my best friend's dad. It was only years later that I realised he wasn't educated in the US, either. To which my friend said "Well, he's good at research." And it's true. He gave much better advice than my school.
posted by hoyland at 6:21 PM on March 6, 2018

So, I did freshman interviews for a prestigious school for several years. I did not have access to these kids' school records, but I work under the presumption that they all had the grades and the scores. The thing that I always dug for touches on the point from above of "The way to get into a good college these days is too both take hard classes (and do well) and to be an interesting person, at least on paper." - namely, I was looking for something the person was psyched about. I hate to use the word "passion", but I was just trying to get them engaged about something. From that I could tell way more about whether they'd benefit the school and whether the school would benefit them (and sussing out this mutually beneficial relationship was I think my key factor). Some people came to me super-psyched to list their 90 activities, but didn't seem to care about any. One person came to me psyched to talk about their Nobel laureate uncle - but was then very confuzzled when I asked them how this had affected them or their goals or inspired them or whatever. But other people talked about programs they had signed up for, or competitions they had loved, or teachers who inspired them. I'd agree with find something that interests you (there has to be something), do/participate in that thing that interests you, and you'll be more interesting if you're not afraid to talk about it.
posted by annabear at 6:42 PM on March 6, 2018 [3 favorites]

I wish I'd known that some scholarship opportunities came from scoring high on the 11th grade PSAT. I home educated my son, and we missed some opportunities because I had him test in 10th and 12th grades, but the colleges wanted all students taking at the same time so they'd be comparing apples to apples.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 7:19 PM on March 6, 2018 [1 favorite]

My very bright son went to an "alternative high school" because he was profoundly miserable in a very good academic (private) high school. He was so under-performing, and we were so, well, perplexed seems such an insufficient word for a gut-wrenching feeling of failure, but it does describe how we felt. He was flunking out for lack of any engagement at all. The school suggested the alternative school we ultimately chose.

It was night and day, and he thrived, but in some ways it was still a mis-match. The kids were bright, as a rule, but "troubled" in various ways. Most were just unhappy in traditional academic environments, and thrived when classes were small and assignments were more flexible. Want to make a film about the Louisiana Purchase instead of write a term paper? How about a detour into colonialism and Native American explooitation? Great solution!

The school focused on the arts, which was what most of the students were interested in. Drama, dance, even glassblowing. However, my son is mathematically and scientifically inclined, and the lack of advanced classes in these fields was very problematic when it came to college. They barely had science, only the required basics. Very rudimentary math. No physics. Chemistry was really a joke.

He lacked the kind of high school transcript that would have allowed him to be competitive in the quest for first-rate mechanical engineering programs, which was his interest, though he took summer school Community College classes to try to make up the deficit. His SAT scores were fabulous. Really terrific. Still, his target schools did not admit him. He ended up going to a good but not stellar school which both admitted him and gave him an academic partial scholarship based on his SAT scores and a very knowledgeable and insightful recommendation by his school advisor. THIS is the serious advantage of a niche school; the teachers know the students very well and advocate for them fiercely.

Looking back, I think we should have considered taking him out of the alternative school and placing him an a rigorously academic high school for 11th and 12th grade. He outgrew the problematic kids at the school by the 11th grade, but we (his parents) were too afraid to rock the boat. He could have had organic chemistry, calculus, differential equations, and so many other classes that his alternative high school just couldn't offer. He could have gone to MIT or Carnegie Mellon with the right preparation, but the competition in STEM for the best schools is intense. However, he did OK and is employed as an engineer. I just think he'd have had more choices with a more high-powered education, a more dynamic faculty, and that makes me a little sad.

So I'd advise you to seek out a counselor who is not connected to your son's school, for a wider perspective. By the end of the 11th grade we looked into the 12th grade at a stellar academic school but they did not accept students only for the 12th grade. We should have made the move after the 10th grade. But we didn't know and were too hesitant.
posted by citygirl at 7:28 PM on March 6, 2018

Try to start him with standardized test prep early, especially subjects he's not the best at. He should try doing the SAT and ACT, they are very different and he might do better in one than another. Nthing keeping details about extracurriculars and planning lots of varied college visits. Speaking about extracurriculars, he should try to have fun ones and meaningful ones he enjoys. These are good for being well rounded (in respects to applications and just being a person.)
(These are tips from when I was in high school 6 years ago, I think they're still relevant.) Memail if you have any questions! The college and college application experience is still pretty fresh for me.
posted by starlybri at 7:42 PM on March 6, 2018

Others have hinted at this by talking about financial literacy, but I'd like to emphasize the importance of teaching him to live independently. Can he cook, clean house, do laundry, balance a checkbook, live within a budget?
posted by postel's law at 5:12 AM on March 7, 2018 [2 favorites]

Definitely consider community college work if your son picks up the catalog, sees some classes that pique his interest, and if he can manage the commute and workload; I'd be hesitant to allow more than one class a semester for a kid that could drive themselves.

Going to my local community college at age 16 for a free (!) night class on the basics of post-medieval Western art history (and then taking the AP Art History test and getting a good score!) made me realise:

- the high-school experiences I had previously had actually prepared me for college-level work; this was a huge confidence boost

- developing my ability to write concise, cogent and convincing essays in the class helped me be a better writer at school and on university applications

- teachers and professors could be your allies if you showed promise, but also weren't going to handhold you if you didn't invest the time in developing the right questions

- university libraries are a thing and are far more interesting than public/high school ones, depending on where you live

- I absolutely did not want to be an art historian!

Going into university on a full degree course a few years later, it was invaluable to have, for example, used a microfiche before, or to have done critical college-level reading from academic books designed for a specialist audience. More than any other 'college prep' class or book or course, actually going to a college and taking and passing a class made my transition to university all the easier. Good luck!
posted by mdonley at 5:15 AM on March 7, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think the financial aspects of choosing a college are just as important, if not more important, than actually fretting about where to go. Unless you'll be able to fund 100% of his schooling, you should start researching that aspect now and figure out how he can go while avoiding loans. Community colleges are great for this, actually--many colleges in my state accept up to two full years of community college credits, and many of those students are competitively positioned for tuition scholarships. Look for cooperative agreements between schools and guaranteed transfer programs. The best thing you can do is to help your son be strategic and thrifty with college plans.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:43 AM on March 7, 2018 [3 favorites]

Find out what he likes and get him involved in it. For example, join a club around that interest, and maybe he'll take a leadership role, or at least do a cool project that he can write about on his college applications. (Plus he can write about it for high school English assignments until he graduates: it's just nice to have a topic you can write about whenever you need it. Like, I had a cool vacation that I always wrote about whenever I went blank.)

Keep one sheet of volunteering work, plus another of awards & activities. If it's a digital file, you can copy-and-paste when filling out college apps & scholarship forms.

If he's a Boy Scout, aim to make Eagle during Sophomore year: it is nice to have on his college applications, and it's out of the way during Junior year, and also being a Scout who is "done" means he has a relief valve when things get high-pressure in Junior & Senior years.

If you're wavering about him working, consider the wages he can make versus how much he can pull down in scholarships. My daughter graduated last year: she did some baby-sitting, which was decent money, but nothing compared to the amount she received in scholarships from the Elks, Dunkin' Donuts, the Red Sox, her high school, etc., etc. We estimated an hour of form-filling and essay-writing for an average scholarship, spread across the hundred she went for, and she still made crazy money per hour.

Most applications are digital these days, so have him copy out the text of any essays and paste them into a document to keep. I am not telling you that he should recycle his essays, but I am saying that many times he will have to answer a fairly generic question. Plus many scholarship applications ask very similar questions.

Last, don't go too crazy if you can avoid it. :7)
posted by wenestvedt at 8:36 AM on March 7, 2018

Also, time management is like a magic frickin' wand.

My daughter is a college Freshman, and many of her friends spend hours each night with the books open. They're talking and texting and stuff, so it takes them hours to get through their reading or a group assignment. She exercises before breakfast, studies after she eats (and before class), and then has her evenings pretty much wide open. She's honestly mystified by the other kids, but it's clear from the outside that they are simply not disciplined about doing stuff on a schedule.

(ObDisc: In college I was very much not disciplined about doing stuff on a schedule. Please, no one tell her!)
posted by wenestvedt at 8:42 AM on March 7, 2018

Cost is much, much more important than you think and it is not too soon to think about it. Sticker price is up to $70k per year. On average, students and their families actually pay around half that much, but unless you can afford to pay full price anywhere you cannot allow your kid to think that finances will not be an issue if they just work hard - that way lies misery and no affordable choices in senior year.

Every college should have a net price calculator. Run your own numbers for a bunch of colleges both public and private, and regardless of sticker price, to see the bill you might end up with. If you are middle income or above, it is not at all unusual for your expected family contribution (EFC) to be $10k (or more) higher than the amount you would be willing to contribute, even at a public school.

If that's the case, stalk the College Confidential Financial Aid and Parents forums to try and work out a strategy that will work for your kid. The right straegy will depend on how conventionally academic your child is, where you live (and so which instate choices you have available) and the difference between what you can actually afford and what the calculators suggest you will need to pay.

And most importantly, make it clear as early as possible that finances will play a role in college choice.
posted by plonkee at 2:49 PM on March 9, 2018 [2 favorites]