Encouraging words
March 2, 2018 10:54 AM Subscribe
I want your best encouraging quotations--whatever quotation you try to keep in mind when you are in doubt about yourself, when you are anxious about something, when you are in trouble or worried. If the quotation has helped you get a grip or feel less desperate, I want to see it. That is all. Thank you.
"I am better than that."
For years, I worked with an extremely difficult person who made me question my self-worth many times. I wrote this down one day and I read it every day out loud to myself as I started my work day, and every night when I got home. Yes, yes, I am.
posted by HeyAllie at 11:00 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
For years, I worked with an extremely difficult person who made me question my self-worth many times. I wrote this down one day and I read it every day out loud to myself as I started my work day, and every night when I got home. Yes, yes, I am.
posted by HeyAllie at 11:00 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
This is the most obvious saying, but "I'm taking things one day at a time" is something that has helped me get through some tough times (depression, hospitalization of my husband) because I tend not to live that way. I'm usually thinking ahead to a project I have to work on, or the weekend, or an upcoming trip, or whatever. But when things have gotten really bad for me, I focus on getting through just that day and not worrying about what's ahead of me, and it's been extremely helpful.
I hope you start feeling better.
posted by jabes at 11:01 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
I hope you start feeling better.
posted by jabes at 11:01 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you."
posted by Ziggy500 at 11:01 AM on March 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by Ziggy500 at 11:01 AM on March 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
I'm a people-pleaser and tend to want everyone to like me, which is unrealistic. So I try to keep in mind something I read (on Pinterest, of course): "You can be the sweetest peach in the world, and there's still someone out there that just doesn't like peaches."
I also like, "If it's important, you'll find away. If it's not, you'll find an excuse." It doesn't apply to everything, of course, but it helps me prioritize and stay motivated.
posted by lovableiago at 11:01 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I also like, "If it's important, you'll find away. If it's not, you'll find an excuse." It doesn't apply to everything, of course, but it helps me prioritize and stay motivated.
posted by lovableiago at 11:01 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
"Time is your friend"
I'm a person who struggles with patience. This phrase helps me all the time.
posted by orangesky4 at 11:03 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm a person who struggles with patience. This phrase helps me all the time.
posted by orangesky4 at 11:03 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
(Those particular two lines of a much longer poem.)
posted by readinghippo at 11:04 AM on March 2, 2018 [24 favorites]
This, too, shall pass.
posted by snorkmaiden at 11:09 AM on March 2, 2018 [17 favorites]
posted by snorkmaiden at 11:09 AM on March 2, 2018 [17 favorites]
Michelle Obama says—
“When they go low, we go high.”
I have this posted at my desk at work. It helps me remember that I have the choice to be better than what’s around me.
posted by bookmammal at 11:13 AM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
“When they go low, we go high.”
I have this posted at my desk at work. It helps me remember that I have the choice to be better than what’s around me.
posted by bookmammal at 11:13 AM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
"[A]sk yourself with regard to every present difficulty: 'What is there in this that is unbearable and beyond endurance?' You would be ashamed to confess it! And then remind yourself that it is not the future or what has passed that afflicts you, but always the present" --Marcus Aurelius
posted by praemunire at 11:17 AM on March 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 11:17 AM on March 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
"With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. "
posted by bondcliff at 11:21 AM on March 2, 2018 [14 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 11:21 AM on March 2, 2018 [14 favorites]
Cary Tennis, way back in 2008, answered a letter about writer's block with a long letter, ending thus, which makes me feel all the hope, for some reason:
"I used to think I was on top, looking down on all that was awful. Now I feel that I am on the bottom of the sea looking up at everything that is marvelous!
You get where I'm coming from? So let us dance, all of us, together on the bottom of the sea."
posted by wellred at 11:23 AM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
"I used to think I was on top, looking down on all that was awful. Now I feel that I am on the bottom of the sea looking up at everything that is marvelous!
You get where I'm coming from? So let us dance, all of us, together on the bottom of the sea."
posted by wellred at 11:23 AM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
"The best revenge is good living."
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 11:24 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Peppermint Snowflake at 11:24 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Yes, actually factually I have used sci-fi woo as self-talk and it has helped! I used that a lot when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy and contemplating the great vast unknown that is birthing and caring for another human.
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:26 AM on March 2, 2018 [9 favorites]
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Yes, actually factually I have used sci-fi woo as self-talk and it has helped! I used that a lot when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy and contemplating the great vast unknown that is birthing and caring for another human.
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:26 AM on March 2, 2018 [9 favorites]
"You don't have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you're holding." - Cheryl Strayed
“My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?” - David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
“I've always thought tests are a gift. And great tests are a great gift. To fail the test is a misfortune. But to refuse the test is to refuse the gift, and something worse, more irrevocable, than misfortune.” - Lois McMaster Bujold
posted by zoetrope at 11:27 AM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
“My life amounts to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean. Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?” - David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
“I've always thought tests are a gift. And great tests are a great gift. To fail the test is a misfortune. But to refuse the test is to refuse the gift, and something worse, more irrevocable, than misfortune.” - Lois McMaster Bujold
posted by zoetrope at 11:27 AM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
When I was in school, through my PhD and beyond, I've wanted to give up many times along the way. What helped set my mind straight about continuing was thinking "you're still going to be here in 2 years so you may as well finish". I guess it made me realize that quitting wouldn't do much other than leave me without a degree and I would end up needing to fill that time some other way, so I may as well just stay with it. Also, I make a habit of dismissing thoughts of quitting, which starts happening about halfway through, because I think I won't like the field or the degree won't help me and I say to myself "finish the program and worry about the job later". I think the real value in this is that I cannot think as logically when stressed so quitting for a million reasons I come up with in the middle of something is not likely as logical as the reasons that lead to me starting the program.
posted by waving at 11:31 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by waving at 11:31 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Nevertheless, she persisted.
posted by Corvid at 11:33 AM on March 2, 2018 [19 favorites]
posted by Corvid at 11:33 AM on March 2, 2018 [19 favorites]
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well
Julian of Norwich
posted by Heloise9 at 11:34 AM on March 2, 2018 [14 favorites]
Julian of Norwich
posted by Heloise9 at 11:34 AM on March 2, 2018 [14 favorites]
Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. - Samuel Beckett
posted by FencingGal at 11:36 AM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by FencingGal at 11:36 AM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
You don't have to want to do it, you just have to do it.
posted by telepanda at 11:37 AM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by telepanda at 11:37 AM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams
It always helps me put things in their proper perspective, somehow. Whatever's going on, well, of course it is -- that's what you get for having a universe.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:38 AM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
It always helps me put things in their proper perspective, somehow. Whatever's going on, well, of course it is -- that's what you get for having a universe.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 11:38 AM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
Just keep swimming.
posted by Dashy at 11:38 AM on March 2, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by Dashy at 11:38 AM on March 2, 2018 [8 favorites]
An old favorite of mine:
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
-- Colette
(and yeah, I've used the Dune one surprisingly often...)
posted by Bron at 11:41 AM on March 2, 2018
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
-- Colette
(and yeah, I've used the Dune one surprisingly often...)
posted by Bron at 11:41 AM on March 2, 2018
“A Ship in Harbor Is Safe, but That Is Not What Ships Are Built For”
AKA ships are meant for sailing
AKA sure, you can wall yourself off (in all senses) to protect from potential harm, but that's not living. Living dings you up, but living is what life is for.
posted by PaulaSchultz at 11:43 AM on March 2, 2018 [15 favorites]
AKA ships are meant for sailing
AKA sure, you can wall yourself off (in all senses) to protect from potential harm, but that's not living. Living dings you up, but living is what life is for.
posted by PaulaSchultz at 11:43 AM on March 2, 2018 [15 favorites]
It'll all be the same in a hundred years.
I must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on (misquote from Beckett: "You must go on. I can't go on. I'll go on.").
posted by paduasoy at 11:47 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
I must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on (misquote from Beckett: "You must go on. I can't go on. I'll go on.").
posted by paduasoy at 11:47 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Everything will be alright in the end. So if it's not alright, it's not the end.
posted by juniperesque at 12:17 PM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by juniperesque at 12:17 PM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
Assume positive intent (Helpful for me when I start feeling slighted.)
You don’t need it. (Both the physical - a new car, that board game, another cupcake; and the incorporeal - that person’s attention, recognition for a job well done, my parents’ approval. I survived the last moment with out it. I’ll likely survive the next.)
posted by greermahoney at 12:19 PM on March 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
You don’t need it. (Both the physical - a new car, that board game, another cupcake; and the incorporeal - that person’s attention, recognition for a job well done, my parents’ approval. I survived the last moment with out it. I’ll likely survive the next.)
posted by greermahoney at 12:19 PM on March 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
- Maya Angelou (sez the internet at least)
posted by yeahlikethat at 12:22 PM on March 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
- Maya Angelou (sez the internet at least)
posted by yeahlikethat at 12:22 PM on March 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
“Despair is the conclusion of fools.” —Benjamin Disraeli
posted by corey flood at 12:23 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by corey flood at 12:23 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you. It pops into my mind at odd times, usually when I'm sad or anxious, and I find myself ruminating on different phrases at different times.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:24 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you. It pops into my mind at odd times, usually when I'm sad or anxious, and I find myself ruminating on different phrases at different times.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 12:24 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
This may be a bit much, but I have found this line from one of my favorite works of art of the last several years to be one of the few things that can snap me out of an anxiety spiral:
"You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead."
posted by Anita Bath at 12:28 PM on March 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
"You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead."
posted by Anita Bath at 12:28 PM on March 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
‚Fall down seven times, stand up eight‘.
posted by The Toad at 12:33 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by The Toad at 12:33 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
When things are tough, I tell myself, "I can get through X minutes/hours/days/months of anything."
I also find a lot of comfort in the quote I take my user name from: "In the midst of winter I found there was, in me, an invincible summer." It reminds me that the external pressures of life can't change the fundamentals of who and what I am (or who I mean to be) inside.
One of my past supervisors used to say about any worry, mistake or error, "Ask yourself, did/will any children die from it? If not, you're probably going to be okay."
And yet another past supervisor told me to imagine whatever was bugging me on my tombstone. As in, "Here lies Summer. Forgot a deadline, and several people were very put out." Kind of puts things in perspective. ;)
posted by invincible summer at 12:42 PM on March 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
I also find a lot of comfort in the quote I take my user name from: "In the midst of winter I found there was, in me, an invincible summer." It reminds me that the external pressures of life can't change the fundamentals of who and what I am (or who I mean to be) inside.
One of my past supervisors used to say about any worry, mistake or error, "Ask yourself, did/will any children die from it? If not, you're probably going to be okay."
And yet another past supervisor told me to imagine whatever was bugging me on my tombstone. As in, "Here lies Summer. Forgot a deadline, and several people were very put out." Kind of puts things in perspective. ;)
posted by invincible summer at 12:42 PM on March 2, 2018 [7 favorites]
Let it go
posted by Justin Case at 12:50 PM on March 2, 2018
posted by Justin Case at 12:50 PM on March 2, 2018
Let this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair.
Some things aren't for you to know. (Just a thing I say to myself. Sometimes I get stressed about things I can't know.)
posted by clavicle at 12:55 PM on March 2, 2018
Some things aren't for you to know. (Just a thing I say to myself. Sometimes I get stressed about things I can't know.)
posted by clavicle at 12:55 PM on March 2, 2018
"Is that all there is, is that all there is
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing..."
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:03 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing..."
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:03 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
The only way out is through!
posted by pazazygeek at 1:05 PM on March 2, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by pazazygeek at 1:05 PM on March 2, 2018 [9 favorites]
pazaygeek! I came in with that one too, but a subtle variation thereof: "The fastest way out is through."
This helps me enormously in heading stress-triggered avoidance off at the pass.
posted by freya_lamb at 1:10 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
This helps me enormously in heading stress-triggered avoidance off at the pass.
posted by freya_lamb at 1:10 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
The perfect is the enemy of the good, and good enough is good enough.
Keep moving forward.
posted by gideonfrog at 1:11 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Keep moving forward.
posted by gideonfrog at 1:11 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
"This too shall pass."
The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear as quoted above.
"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar."
"I'm doing the best I can with what I've got."
"I work to live, I don't live to work."
"No one ever laid on their deathbed saying, "I wish I'd spent more time at work."
posted by Lynsey at 1:13 PM on March 2, 2018
The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear as quoted above.
"You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar."
"I'm doing the best I can with what I've got."
"I work to live, I don't live to work."
"No one ever laid on their deathbed saying, "I wish I'd spent more time at work."
posted by Lynsey at 1:13 PM on March 2, 2018
"That was overcome; this too may be."
Especially when I feel anxious and alone, I sing the ending of Dar Williams' "Mortal City" to myself to remind myself that even at the worst times we're all interconnected and can help each other - we are not lost:
I think I have a special kind of hearing tonight.
I hear the neighbors upstairs.
I hear my heart beating.
I hear one thousand hearts beating at the hospital
And one thousand hearts by their bedsides waiting
Saying, "That's my love in the white gown."
We are not lost in the mortal city.
posted by darchildre at 1:20 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
Especially when I feel anxious and alone, I sing the ending of Dar Williams' "Mortal City" to myself to remind myself that even at the worst times we're all interconnected and can help each other - we are not lost:
I think I have a special kind of hearing tonight.
I hear the neighbors upstairs.
I hear my heart beating.
I hear one thousand hearts beating at the hospital
And one thousand hearts by their bedsides waiting
Saying, "That's my love in the white gown."
We are not lost in the mortal city.
posted by darchildre at 1:20 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.
Emerson
I used to keep this quote on a magnet and look at it everyday when I was going through a hard time.
posted by starlybri at 1:25 PM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.
Emerson
I used to keep this quote on a magnet and look at it everyday when I was going through a hard time.
posted by starlybri at 1:25 PM on March 2, 2018 [11 favorites]
This NYT profile of comedian Maria Bamford gave me a good thing to keep in mind when things seem overwhelming or doing anything seems pointless: Do the work.
So much of my approach to self-care is literally just keeping a rough schedule and making sure that laundry gets done, dishes get washed, and the living room gets picked up. Just taking care of a certain set of small things helps me feel like everything happening properly and that there is orderly motion to my life.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:28 PM on March 2, 2018 [15 favorites]
So much of my approach to self-care is literally just keeping a rough schedule and making sure that laundry gets done, dishes get washed, and the living room gets picked up. Just taking care of a certain set of small things helps me feel like everything happening properly and that there is orderly motion to my life.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:28 PM on March 2, 2018 [15 favorites]
I have a deck of Louise Hay's Power Thought cards. A few examples of ones I like:
"Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe."
"The past is over and done and has no power over me. I can begin to be free in this moment. Today's thoughts create my future. I am in charge. I take my power back. I am safe and I am free."
"I trust my inner wisdom."
And, my favorite:
"When we create harmony
in our minds and hearts,
we will find it in our lives.
The inner creates the outer.
Always."
posted by onecircleaday at 1:37 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
"Everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this situation, only good will come. I am safe."
"The past is over and done and has no power over me. I can begin to be free in this moment. Today's thoughts create my future. I am in charge. I take my power back. I am safe and I am free."
"I trust my inner wisdom."
And, my favorite:
"When we create harmony
in our minds and hearts,
we will find it in our lives.
The inner creates the outer.
Always."
posted by onecircleaday at 1:37 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I have two favourites: "this, too, shall pass," and "nothing real is ever ideal. And vice versa."
The second is particularly useful for procrastination in the face of a big task, especially a creative one, or for when you feel surrounded by sniping critics.
posted by rpfields at 1:41 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
The second is particularly useful for procrastination in the face of a big task, especially a creative one, or for when you feel surrounded by sniping critics.
posted by rpfields at 1:41 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
In different situations and in different times, the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." And Angela Davis' modification: "I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept."
Rev. Tarfon in Pirkei Avot 2:21: "It is not given to you to complete the work; neither are you free to desist from it."
All of Spent Gladiator 1 by the Mountain Goats, but especially
"Play with matches if you think you need to play with matches
Seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot and bright
Find where the heat's unbearable and stay there if you have to
Don't hurt anybody on your way up to the light
And stay alive
Just stay alive"
More Rilke: "And if the earthly forgets you,
say to the quiet earth: I flow.
Speak to the rushing water — say: I am."
Galway Kinnell: "trust the hours. Haven’t they
carried you everywhere, up to now?"
posted by peppercorn at 1:42 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
Rev. Tarfon in Pirkei Avot 2:21: "It is not given to you to complete the work; neither are you free to desist from it."
All of Spent Gladiator 1 by the Mountain Goats, but especially
"Play with matches if you think you need to play with matches
Seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot and bright
Find where the heat's unbearable and stay there if you have to
Don't hurt anybody on your way up to the light
And stay alive
Just stay alive"
More Rilke: "And if the earthly forgets you,
say to the quiet earth: I flow.
Speak to the rushing water — say: I am."
Galway Kinnell: "trust the hours. Haven’t they
carried you everywhere, up to now?"
posted by peppercorn at 1:42 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” - Albert Einstein
posted by jazzbaby at 2:09 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by jazzbaby at 2:09 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
Nthing “This too shall pass.”
posted by MexicanYenta at 2:29 PM on March 2, 2018
posted by MexicanYenta at 2:29 PM on March 2, 2018
I have Post-It Notes plastered all over my room with these.
"What would I do if I was a badass?"
"You have to treat yourself with respect; to do otherwise is to desecrate something holy."
"You MUST keep going"
"Don't believe everything you think."
"You don't ever get over it, you just get on with it."
"You don't have to be good all the time; you have to be good when it's time."
"It's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."
"I only work when I'm motivated. i just happen to be motivated every day at 8 a.m."
"Put in the reps."
"This is my life now. What's next?"
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 2:36 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
"What would I do if I was a badass?"
"You have to treat yourself with respect; to do otherwise is to desecrate something holy."
"You MUST keep going"
"Don't believe everything you think."
"You don't ever get over it, you just get on with it."
"You don't have to be good all the time; you have to be good when it's time."
"It's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."
"I only work when I'm motivated. i just happen to be motivated every day at 8 a.m."
"Put in the reps."
"This is my life now. What's next?"
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 2:36 PM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
"You have been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved."
posted by ananci at 2:56 PM on March 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by ananci at 2:56 PM on March 2, 2018 [6 favorites]
For when I’m feeling hopeless and despearate:
“Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.”
Followed by:
“and nothing is ever as good as it seems.”
I had a manager who was self-absorbed, undisciplined and thoughtless. She repeatedly fucked me over by failing to forward critical emails to me and failing to follow through on what she agreed to do. She would take full credit for my accomplishments, and at the same time speak poorly of me to her bosses. I used to get upset about each new outrage, and then one day I realized:
“Only a fool expects someone to be something that they are not.”
posted by mammoth at 3:18 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
“Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.”
Followed by:
“and nothing is ever as good as it seems.”
I had a manager who was self-absorbed, undisciplined and thoughtless. She repeatedly fucked me over by failing to forward critical emails to me and failing to follow through on what she agreed to do. She would take full credit for my accomplishments, and at the same time speak poorly of me to her bosses. I used to get upset about each new outrage, and then one day I realized:
“Only a fool expects someone to be something that they are not.”
posted by mammoth at 3:18 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
The Post-It next to me right now bears a (lightly altered) line from William Gibson's The Peripheral: "Ignore the crazy and go tactically forward."
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:18 PM on March 2, 2018
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:18 PM on March 2, 2018
"The bad news is nothing lasts forever, the good news is nothing lasts forever."
posted by just asking at 3:41 PM on March 2, 2018
posted by just asking at 3:41 PM on March 2, 2018
We don't reach the mountaintop from the mountaintop.
We start at the bottom and climb up.
Blood is involved.
-- Cheryl Strayed
posted by hanov3r at 3:59 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
We start at the bottom and climb up.
Blood is involved.
-- Cheryl Strayed
posted by hanov3r at 3:59 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Perfectionists mostly see what's wrong with everything.
posted by effluvia at 4:07 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by effluvia at 4:07 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
"If your nerve deny you, go above your nerve." - Emily Dickinson (and Cheryl Strayed)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:13 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:13 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
"The universe is unfolding as it should." Helpful for when my anxiety wants me to get control of everything.
posted by SyraCarol at 4:13 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by SyraCarol at 4:13 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
I like this one when I screw something up: "What do Winners call failure? .... Practice."
posted by forforf at 4:27 PM on March 2, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by forforf at 4:27 PM on March 2, 2018 [8 favorites]
Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it; just let it happen.
posted by kapers at 4:37 PM on March 2, 2018
posted by kapers at 4:37 PM on March 2, 2018
"The light in me sees the light in you." I repeat this when I am annoyed to death by a loved one so that I don't chomp their head off.
posted by onebyone at 5:03 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by onebyone at 5:03 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
"Freedom is what we do with what's been done to us." -Sartre
posted by erattacorrige at 5:20 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by erattacorrige at 5:20 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
- Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
posted by CMcG at 5:22 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
the world offers itself to your imagination,
- Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
posted by CMcG at 5:22 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
Haters gon' hate.
(Accompanied by exaggerated shoulder shrugging)
posted by Temeraria at 5:48 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
(Accompanied by exaggerated shoulder shrugging)
posted by Temeraria at 5:48 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Smooth seas don't make skilled sailors.
posted by saturdaymornings at 6:38 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by saturdaymornings at 6:38 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
Also from Dear Sugar (and the whole letter is many paragraphs of different flavors of encouragement):
"Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet."
Also, I googled the movie star speech from Bojack Horseman this week and it helped.
posted by momus_window at 7:16 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
"Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet."
Also, I googled the movie star speech from Bojack Horseman this week and it helped.
posted by momus_window at 7:16 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
And also from Rilke:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
posted by momus_window at 7:21 PM on March 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
posted by momus_window at 7:21 PM on March 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
-Anaïs Nin
Helps me consider whatever I'm going through might be more beautiful on the other side (and often is).
posted by pants at 7:22 PM on March 2, 2018 [8 favorites]
-Anaïs Nin
Helps me consider whatever I'm going through might be more beautiful on the other side (and often is).
posted by pants at 7:22 PM on March 2, 2018 [8 favorites]
The full stanza from Leonard Cohen’s, “Anthem” is:
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.“
But the part that I say to myself, often several times a day, when something has gone wrong, or I have messed up and start to berate myself for it, or some asshole cuts me off in traffic, or whatever, is the last line, “That’s how the light gets in”. I find it tremendously comforting.
posted by msali at 7:39 PM on March 2, 2018 [12 favorites]
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.“
But the part that I say to myself, often several times a day, when something has gone wrong, or I have messed up and start to berate myself for it, or some asshole cuts me off in traffic, or whatever, is the last line, “That’s how the light gets in”. I find it tremendously comforting.
posted by msali at 7:39 PM on March 2, 2018 [12 favorites]
“Una flecha solo puede ser lanzada jalándola hacia atrás. Cuando sientas que la vida te lleve hacia atrás con dificultad significa que te va a lanzar hacia momentos increíbles. Tan solo enfócate y apunta bien”
An arrow can only be launched by pulling it backwards. When you feel that life is pulling you backwards with difficulties, it means that you are about to be launched forward into incredible moments. So just focus and aim well.
posted by bricoleur at 7:41 PM on March 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
An arrow can only be launched by pulling it backwards. When you feel that life is pulling you backwards with difficulties, it means that you are about to be launched forward into incredible moments. So just focus and aim well.
posted by bricoleur at 7:41 PM on March 2, 2018 [13 favorites]
"The first thing about empowerment is to understand that you have the right to be involved. The second one is that you have something important to contribute. And the third piece is that you have to take the risk to contribute it."
- Mae Jemison - astronaut, engineer, educator, and doctor
"Above all, don't fear difficult moments. The best comes from them."
- Rita Levi-Montalcini - neurologist and Italian senator
"Don't let others discourage you or tell you that you can't do it. In my day I was told women didn't go into chemistry. I saw no reason why we couldn't."
- Gertrude Elion - pharmacologist and biochemist
"Believe in the power of truth...do not allow your mind to be imprisoned by majority thinking."
- Patricia Bath - opthalmologist and inventor
(All of these quotes are featured in the wonderful book Women in Science by Rachel Ignotofsky (which I learned about from MeFi). There's a separate postcard set based on the book, too, and I have some of the postcards displayed in my room.)
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 7:56 PM on March 2, 2018
- Mae Jemison - astronaut, engineer, educator, and doctor
"Above all, don't fear difficult moments. The best comes from them."
- Rita Levi-Montalcini - neurologist and Italian senator
"Don't let others discourage you or tell you that you can't do it. In my day I was told women didn't go into chemistry. I saw no reason why we couldn't."
- Gertrude Elion - pharmacologist and biochemist
"Believe in the power of truth...do not allow your mind to be imprisoned by majority thinking."
- Patricia Bath - opthalmologist and inventor
(All of these quotes are featured in the wonderful book Women in Science by Rachel Ignotofsky (which I learned about from MeFi). There's a separate postcard set based on the book, too, and I have some of the postcards displayed in my room.)
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 7:56 PM on March 2, 2018
Stress is caused by giving a fuck (Unknown) - then I gauge the amount of fuck I actually need to give ("what's the worst that could happen?" "What's the worst that is likely to happen?" "Is that the end of the world?") and then adjust my stress level accordingly.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:27 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:27 PM on March 2, 2018 [5 favorites]
Do what needs to be done.
posted by Ideefixe at 8:56 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Ideefixe at 8:56 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
"Tell me what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life."
-Mary Oliver
"The, Good Lord in his infinite wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable; hope, jokes and dogs, but the greatest of these was dogs."
-Robyn Davidson
posted by WalkerWestridge at 9:20 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
-Mary Oliver
"The, Good Lord in his infinite wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable; hope, jokes and dogs, but the greatest of these was dogs."
-Robyn Davidson
posted by WalkerWestridge at 9:20 PM on March 2, 2018 [4 favorites]
My friends and I have developed a few mottos about adulthood:
"It's about showing up but not bending over"
"When you think you need an adult, you need to BE the adult"
And, from my street medic friends: "Do No Harm, but Take No Shit"
posted by sleepingwithcats at 9:48 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
"It's about showing up but not bending over"
"When you think you need an adult, you need to BE the adult"
And, from my street medic friends: "Do No Harm, but Take No Shit"
posted by sleepingwithcats at 9:48 PM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is only you. You are the light.
posted by sweetmarie at 10:15 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by sweetmarie at 10:15 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ooh! Here’s another I like: Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
posted by greermahoney at 1:12 AM on March 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by greermahoney at 1:12 AM on March 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
This one comes from the Catholic writer Thomas Merton, but I love it despite not being religious. I like thinking of joining the general dance.
For the world and time are the dance of the Lord in emptiness. The silence of the spheres is the music of a wedding feast. The more we persist in misunderstanding the phenomena of life, the more we analyze them out into strange finalities and complex purposes of our own, the more we involve ourselves in sadness, absurdity and despair. But it does not matter much, because no despair of ours can alter the reality of things; or stain the joy of the cosmic dance which is always there. Indeed, we are in the midst of it, and it is in the midst of us, for it beats in our very blood, whether we want it to or not.posted by medusa at 2:25 AM on March 3, 2018 [2 favorites]
Yet the fact remains that we are invited to forget ourselves on purpose, cast our awful solemnity to the winds and join in the general dance. -Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
A few of my favourites:
"You are beautiful, you are lovely, go out there and enjoy this" --Danna Duckworth (NCAA gymnastics coach), but spoken in the voice of Spencer from the Gymcastic podcast (it's the way they close every episode).
"There's no need to sharpen my pencils anymore. My pencils are sharp enough. Even the dull ones will leave a mark" --Ze Frank, from his beautiful Invocation for Beginnings.
also from the invocation:
"Let me think about the people who I care about the most and how when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself."
posted by guster4lovers at 8:12 AM on March 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
"You are beautiful, you are lovely, go out there and enjoy this" --Danna Duckworth (NCAA gymnastics coach), but spoken in the voice of Spencer from the Gymcastic podcast (it's the way they close every episode).
"There's no need to sharpen my pencils anymore. My pencils are sharp enough. Even the dull ones will leave a mark" --Ze Frank, from his beautiful Invocation for Beginnings.
also from the invocation:
"Let me think about the people who I care about the most and how when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself."
posted by guster4lovers at 8:12 AM on March 3, 2018 [1 favorite]
And when he came to the place where the wild things are, they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws till Max said, "Be still" and tamed them with the magic trick of staring into all their yellow eyes without blinking once. And they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all and made him king of all wild things.
posted by Cocodrillo at 8:55 AM on March 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Cocodrillo at 8:55 AM on March 3, 2018 [3 favorites]
A variation on this was sent to me via email back when people sent things like this by email instead of posting pictures with text over them. I am barely religious (and not Catholic) but find it very comforting: "May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 3:53 AM on March 5, 2018
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 3:53 AM on March 5, 2018
“I am not afraid. I was born to do this.” —Joan of Arc
“If you find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” — Mo Willems
“Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” — Walt Whitman
posted by ocherdraco at 8:12 AM on March 9, 2018
“If you find yourself in the wrong story, leave.” — Mo Willems
“Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.” — Walt Whitman
posted by ocherdraco at 8:12 AM on March 9, 2018
This one might be a bit silly considering the source, but a quote from the show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has stuck with me:
“I learned a long time ago that a person can stand just about anything for 10 seconds, then you just start on a new 10 seconds. All you’ve got to do is take it 10 seconds at a time.”
posted by DulcineaX at 1:15 PM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
“I learned a long time ago that a person can stand just about anything for 10 seconds, then you just start on a new 10 seconds. All you’ve got to do is take it 10 seconds at a time.”
posted by DulcineaX at 1:15 PM on March 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
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posted by sunset in snow country at 10:58 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]