Bonus goldendoodle photo inside!
February 24, 2018 7:04 PM Subscribe
How are we going to get this bottle out of this hollow post?
My friend is housesitting in a cabin, and was showering a goldendoodle. She has a lot of time on her hands and precious few supplies. Her provisions for the evening consisted of the remaining half of a 20-ounce bottle of whatever they replaced Pepsi Max with. To free up her hands to attend to the dog, she set this item atop a post fashioned out of three boards fitted together and affixed to a wall.
Bad news: the post is hollow.
Her much desired beverage is now at the bottom of a 4.5-foot well of sorts. There's a rough, hollowed knot a few inches from the bottom that she can stick her grotesquely long slender finger into, enabling her to graze the bottle. She has a dream that she'll be able to loop a length of sewing thread around the bottle and somehow raise it from the grave.
Photos here: https://imgur.com/a/3rwKr
Have smarter people than her tried better plans than hers and failed? Yes. Hell yes. But there are things we do for love and things we do for desperation.
If anyone's been down this road before and can offer up some advice, she is in no place to look a wisdom horse in the mouth.
My friend is housesitting in a cabin, and was showering a goldendoodle. She has a lot of time on her hands and precious few supplies. Her provisions for the evening consisted of the remaining half of a 20-ounce bottle of whatever they replaced Pepsi Max with. To free up her hands to attend to the dog, she set this item atop a post fashioned out of three boards fitted together and affixed to a wall.
Bad news: the post is hollow.
Her much desired beverage is now at the bottom of a 4.5-foot well of sorts. There's a rough, hollowed knot a few inches from the bottom that she can stick her grotesquely long slender finger into, enabling her to graze the bottle. She has a dream that she'll be able to loop a length of sewing thread around the bottle and somehow raise it from the grave.
Photos here: https://imgur.com/a/3rwKr
Have smarter people than her tried better plans than hers and failed? Yes. Hell yes. But there are things we do for love and things we do for desperation.
If anyone's been down this road before and can offer up some advice, she is in no place to look a wisdom horse in the mouth.
Response by poster: She is also willing to accept comments on whether she has any obligation to tell the homeowners there's a soda in their shower post.
posted by ootsocsid at 7:05 PM on February 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by ootsocsid at 7:05 PM on February 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
I think her plan will work, but it will be a lot easier if she ties her noose to the end of a broomstick.
Failing that, plug the hole, fill the post with water, and float the bottle out.
posted by bricoleur at 7:23 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Failing that, plug the hole, fill the post with water, and float the bottle out.
posted by bricoleur at 7:23 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: Post is not watertight, even if the hole is plugged. Sides leak diffusely.
posted by ootsocsid at 7:26 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by ootsocsid at 7:26 PM on February 24, 2018
Maybe the bubblegum trick from that time the Brady Bunch kids got locked in that wild west jail cell? (Sticky bubble gum attached to a piece of string. Maybe take a coat hanger and use it to mash the bubble gum onto the lid.)
posted by dawkins_7 at 7:29 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by dawkins_7 at 7:29 PM on February 24, 2018
All she needs is a length of wood (or some other material) like a 2x4 that is long enough to fit all the way into the post. She can use it to mash the bottle up against the side of the post and then pull it up to the top.
posted by googly at 7:34 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by googly at 7:34 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Find a pole with a flat/square end and put a loop of duct tape or some very sticky tape on the end. Shouldn't be too hard.
posted by Slinga at 7:36 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Slinga at 7:36 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Oh - I didn't realize she could touch it from that knot. So, yeah, first take 10ft (twice the length of the post plus some extra) of some string (or yarn - something thicker than sewing thread) and make a loop. Then drop the loop into the post on the side with the knot in it.
Then take another piece of string that is about 6 ft long and attach something sticky to one end. Gum, or maybe some glue (super glue would be great). Then poke that in through the knot and attach it to the side of the bottle. Wait a bit to let it dry/adhere.
Then pull up the looped string from the top, catching the string that is attached to the bottle and bringing it up to the top - grab it before it slips down into the post. Then slowly raise the bottle and hope it doesn't get all sideways.
Please keep us updated! We're here for you!
posted by dawkins_7 at 7:39 PM on February 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Then take another piece of string that is about 6 ft long and attach something sticky to one end. Gum, or maybe some glue (super glue would be great). Then poke that in through the knot and attach it to the side of the bottle. Wait a bit to let it dry/adhere.
Then pull up the looped string from the top, catching the string that is attached to the bottle and bringing it up to the top - grab it before it slips down into the post. Then slowly raise the bottle and hope it doesn't get all sideways.
Please keep us updated! We're here for you!
posted by dawkins_7 at 7:39 PM on February 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
If the yarn/thread loop will not stay open, wind a wire twist tie into it so it holds its shape. Good luck!
posted by childofTethys at 8:12 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by childofTethys at 8:12 PM on February 24, 2018
It's not clear if the top is on the bottle. If not, attach the top to a stick (with a nail?). Push the stick and top down until you can screw on the top. Pull up.
posted by H21 at 8:13 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by H21 at 8:13 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
- Drop a line down the post and use a bent wire to retrieve it through the knot
- pull out a ft or two of line out of the knot
- bend it a ft down and feed the doubled end through the straw.
- now you have a mini stick snake catcher like thing with a loop on one end and two lines sticking out the other. the straw gives it some stiffness to help loop the bottle.
- put the loop end back through the knot and use it to loop the bottle.
- tighten line, tie it off and pull from the top of the post.
posted by captaincrouton at 8:14 PM on February 24, 2018
- pull out a ft or two of line out of the knot
- bend it a ft down and feed the doubled end through the straw.
- now you have a mini stick snake catcher like thing with a loop on one end and two lines sticking out the other. the straw gives it some stiffness to help loop the bottle.
- put the loop end back through the knot and use it to loop the bottle.
- tighten line, tie it off and pull from the top of the post.
posted by captaincrouton at 8:14 PM on February 24, 2018
Tie two strong magnets to two strings. Using a flashlight try to guide one magnet into the bottle. Lower the second magnet to attach to the first sandwiching the bottles wall. Slowly pull it up.
posted by advicepig at 8:23 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by advicepig at 8:23 PM on February 24, 2018
Fashion a long stick with a hole or eye hook at the end. Double over some string and feed the loop end through the hook. Lower the stick to the bottle, looping the string around the neck. Pull taught and retrieve.
posted by advicepig at 8:25 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by advicepig at 8:25 PM on February 24, 2018
Just shop vac the bottle up.
posted by advicepig at 8:25 PM on February 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by advicepig at 8:25 PM on February 24, 2018 [7 favorites]
Get a one inch long stick that would fit in the bottle. Tie two string to it, one in the center and one at one end of the stick. You should be able to hold the strings so the stick travels down pointed straight down. Lower it into the open bottle. Release the string on the end to allow the stick to turn horizontally inside the bottle. Pull up slowly.
posted by advicepig at 8:29 PM on February 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by advicepig at 8:29 PM on February 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
Put superglue on a stick and work quickly to glue it to the bottle.
posted by advicepig at 8:31 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by advicepig at 8:31 PM on February 24, 2018 [3 favorites]
Do the owners have tongs, preferably nice big long barbecue tongs? They might sufficiently extend her reach that she could retrieve it from the top.
(When you need your diet Pepsi, you need your diet Pepsi, man.)
posted by praemunire at 8:58 PM on February 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
(When you need your diet Pepsi, you need your diet Pepsi, man.)
posted by praemunire at 8:58 PM on February 24, 2018 [2 favorites]
I'm sorry that's the entirety of her provisions!
If the sides of the "post" are screwed on, one could be unscrewed. Even if they're nailed together it's probably not hard to pry one side off and replace it after removing the bottle.
My comment on whether she has any obligation to tell the homeowners: yes, she should, because the soda may attract pests. It seems to me an easy mistake to have made (and amusing too), and the "post" looks easy to disassemble for bottle removal even if she can't / doesn't want to do that herself, so she shouldn't feel bad about it.
posted by anadem at 9:44 PM on February 24, 2018
If the sides of the "post" are screwed on, one could be unscrewed. Even if they're nailed together it's probably not hard to pry one side off and replace it after removing the bottle.
My comment on whether she has any obligation to tell the homeowners: yes, she should, because the soda may attract pests. It seems to me an easy mistake to have made (and amusing too), and the "post" looks easy to disassemble for bottle removal even if she can't / doesn't want to do that herself, so she shouldn't feel bad about it.
posted by anadem at 9:44 PM on February 24, 2018
Coat hanger made into a slim hook...get the hook into the bottle and it should pull right up. The harder part is getting the hook out of the bottle, but not that much harder.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:59 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by sexyrobot at 10:59 PM on February 24, 2018
Wire coat hanger bent to reach under bottle? Or long hose attachment of vacuum, powered on to suck bottle up?
posted by stillmoving at 11:06 PM on February 24, 2018
posted by stillmoving at 11:06 PM on February 24, 2018
...atop a post fashioned out of three boards fitted together ...
The magic word here is "fitted together". If it's glued, leave alone. If it's done with screws, just take out the screws on one side (the right side would be my first try), get bottle, re-screw. If it's done with nails, use a crowbar and a hammer. Unless there's something we can't see, either of this should take no more than ten minutes.
posted by Namlit at 12:58 AM on February 25, 2018
The magic word here is "fitted together". If it's glued, leave alone. If it's done with screws, just take out the screws on one side (the right side would be my first try), get bottle, re-screw. If it's done with nails, use a crowbar and a hammer. Unless there's something we can't see, either of this should take no more than ten minutes.
posted by Namlit at 12:58 AM on February 25, 2018
I am hoping for an update to this situation.
posted by halation at 11:14 AM on February 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by halation at 11:14 AM on February 25, 2018 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions. I'm told the bottle is out:
My baby has risen from the well! To be honest, I don't think I could describe how I removed her from this post using a piece of thread, an old curtain rod from my car and a piece of wire with a rusty metal bit at the end that had been lying in the yard if I wanted to. The rusty bit was just big enough to catch on the knot I fed it in through, allowing me to (mostly blindly) wind the wire around the bottle from the top with the curtain rod, but just small enough I could force it through the knot with my fingers when it was time to pull the whole kit and caboodle up from above. And to think I found the wire and rusty orb in the dog's mouth whilst en route to the basement to look for tape, which I didn't find. So fortuitous!
https://imgur.com/G23Zqt8
https://imgur.com/5xd6Blv
https://imgur.com/a24J3AV
posted by ootsocsid at 11:14 AM on February 25, 2018 [10 favorites]
My baby has risen from the well! To be honest, I don't think I could describe how I removed her from this post using a piece of thread, an old curtain rod from my car and a piece of wire with a rusty metal bit at the end that had been lying in the yard if I wanted to. The rusty bit was just big enough to catch on the knot I fed it in through, allowing me to (mostly blindly) wind the wire around the bottle from the top with the curtain rod, but just small enough I could force it through the knot with my fingers when it was time to pull the whole kit and caboodle up from above. And to think I found the wire and rusty orb in the dog's mouth whilst en route to the basement to look for tape, which I didn't find. So fortuitous!
https://imgur.com/G23Zqt8
https://imgur.com/5xd6Blv
https://imgur.com/a24J3AV
posted by ootsocsid at 11:14 AM on February 25, 2018 [10 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by ootsocsid at 7:05 PM on February 24, 2018 [2 favorites]