I need advice on pet euthanasia.

February 1, 2006 1:19 PM

Have you ever had a pet euthanized? I need advice on the process.

My 18 year old cat has renal kidney failure and is showing tell-tale signs of winding down. She's begun having difficulties walking and is showing significant loss of appetite. She was given 6 months to live over 2 years ago now and before this latest stretch has been as healthy and active as could be expected.

How do you know when it's the right time to put a beloved member of your family down? She generally has a habit of panicking when in the veterinarian's office and I want her final moments to be as stress-free and calm as possible.

Any advice?

posted by tristero to pets & animals (32 comments total)

Luckily I've never had to deal with this but I have heard that a lot of vets will come to your house to do it. Much better for everyone. I do know when they put down horses, the last thing they do is feed them a carrot or some other tasty treat to make their last memory a good one.
posted by radioamy at 1:21 PM on February 1, 2006

When we had to put down our rather old dog with hip and other problems, we had a vet come out to the house. She was very comforting to the dog, talking, helping him be comfortable.

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice on the "right time," though.
posted by kableh at 1:24 PM on February 1, 2006

I too can't offer advice on how to know when to let them go. But I did have a kitty who suffered from FIP and she rapidly degraded. I knew it was time when the vet said that it had gotten to the point where they would have to remove the fluid from her lung area every day in order for her to breathe properly.

She was a very friendly kitty with lots of gumption, didn't mind the vet place at all. So when it came time the vet put us in a quiet room and let us stay there for however long it took for us to say goodbye. Then I notified her, she came in and was very very gentle with the act.

I still tear up thinking about it. It's really tough but I think you just *know* when you'd rather see your friend in peace and realize you gave them the best life you could. Best wishes.
posted by like_neon at 1:29 PM on February 1, 2006

Recently (around last Thanksgiving) made the gut-wrenching decision to have my 11-year-old Siberian Husky euthanized. My vet was very respectful of my need to make my own decision (demanded it, in fact), but said that she tells clients to make a list of 10 yes or no questions regarding the pet's health/symptoms, e.g.:

1. Does the animal have difficulty walking/eating/grooming? (Can be one question or three.)
2. Can this condition be treated with drugs or other medical intervention?
3. Am I willing to put said beloved pet through this sort of medical intervention?
4. Is the pet likely to survive with improved quality of life (over doing nothing)?
5. Etc.

For me, it became a question of quality of life. She simply wasn't going to get better, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to watch her in such a state of physical and mental decline. Ultimately, we went into the vet, and she was given a tranquilizing shot, after which she came over and laid her head in my lap and went to sleep. She could hear us talk to her and feel me petting her, but was utterly at peace--no axiety, no discomfort. When I was ready, the vet administered the sodium phenobarbitol, and she died quietly.It isn't easy. It's still just as hard recounting it now, months later. I won't presume to tell you what you should do, but 18 years is a damn fine life for a cat. I don't envy you your decision.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 1:30 PM on February 1, 2006

We put down our cat a few weeks ago. She was on a slow decline for months and at this point she hadn't eaten for days. I can only imagine how weak she felt. This was a Thursday and we didn't want to leave her starving over the weekend when nothing would change and it'd be more difficult to find a vet, so we had her put down.

If you know she's on her way out you can make it comfortable. Vets do callouts in your area? Do that.
posted by holloway at 1:34 PM on February 1, 2006

I just recently has to do this as well. My 19 year old cat (with whom i'd practially grown up with) had been hanging on admirably with "6 more months" for 3 years, but I just couldn't put her through the barrage of tests and stress that her latest series of problems required.

Simplest solution - just call your vet. Even if they won't do a house call, they might be able to give you something to sedate her with before the trip to the office. They will sedate her anyway before putting her to sleep, but I agree, there's no sense stressing her out unnecessarily for the trip.

Good luck with making the final decision. As much as it hurts to go through with it, in the end you'll just know when the time is right. Ask your vet to just lay it on the line, give you your options, and the right one will become obvious in this situation. There's also the added benefit of knowing that in the end, your cat didn't suffer, and you'll be able to say goodbye on your terms. It really is a quiet, painless experience for your loved one. My sincerest condolances.
posted by cgg at 1:35 PM on February 1, 2006

With all three of my cats, who were all into old age, they'd been ill and on medication for some time. Then over a matter of a day or so, their health deteriorated. It was rapid and I knew it was time.

You will know, I am sure of it, if you've had her for 18 years, then you'll know.

They all hated visiting the vet, but all three of them did the exact same thing on their last journey (I'm talking 2 or 3 years between each cat here).

They were weak, and didn't need to go in a pet carrier, so I wrapped the cat in a towel and held him/her in the car, while a friend drove.

Each cat, when we reached a particular point in the journey, let out this eerie yowl, looked at me, and then put his/her head on my shoulder, as if to say "it's time".

I know this sounds like I'm giving the cats human characteristics (forgotten how to spell the word for it), but it happened with all three and I'll never forget it.

Cats know too, they just know, when it's time. The only thing I would look out for, if your cat goes outdoors, is that she doesn't find a hidden place. It's in their nature to go to ground to die. My Bella did that, and I had most of the neighbours out looking for her. She'd hidden in some shrubs a few houses down, but with all the neighbours calling for her and searching their gardens, it wasn't so peaceful and she made it home so I could take her on her last trip.

If your vet will come out to you, then that might be better for her, but check the cost of a home visit, I know that in some cases it can be extortionate. Not that money is a factor in these things, but it's not unknown for admin staff to omit this information knowing that your mind is elsewhere and then blindside you with a huge invoice after the event.

Good luck. It's an incredibly hard thing to do. But she will leave a cat-shaped hole in your life that only another cat will be able to fill somewhere down the line.
posted by essexjan at 1:35 PM on February 1, 2006

This is a heart-wrenching situation. You have my sympathy.

For me, the time came when I realized that my pain at seeing my pet suffering outweighed my pain of losing her.

Good luck and take care.
posted by luneray at 1:38 PM on February 1, 2006 [1 favorite]

I've been there more than once, sadly. It's not an easy decision to make, but you will know when the time is right - trust me.
posted by O9scar at 1:40 PM on February 1, 2006

Yes, you should be able to find a vet who will come to your place, and she can sit in your lap and get the shot.

Much sympathy to you. I don't look forward to when I have to do the same thing.
posted by luriete at 1:40 PM on February 1, 2006

I really believe that in the case of a pet that has been long-lived and in a loving home, not euthanizing them and instead allowing them to go into a long, miserable decline is very much the wrong thing to do.

That said, it's still a subjective judgment to make. My 14 year old cat, who died in 2004, had some dental complications causing her to not eat, which in turn caused her liver to fail (which, in cats, apparently can happen from even as little as five or six days of fasting). The vet told me that she thought this was primarily about the cat not eating and that if I could force feed her, her liver would regenerate and she'd probably be okay. That's what I did, for six weeks, several times a day, and which was very unpleasant for both of us. At the time I wondered if I was wrong in not just having her euthanized. But, she seemed to recover, only to die unexpectedly while I was out of town over Christmas.

Cats don't really show much illness, apparently, and I don't know how sick she really was in the last six months of her life. She seemed to have improved a great deal. But maybe it would have been better had I had her euthanized.

My point, though, is that while perhaps her dying when I was with her would have been easier for me than having to have her euthanized, having her die while I was away was much worse and caused a lot of emotional difficulty for me.

We euthanized my childhood dog when she was 19, and I was at the vet, with her and holding her, when it was done. I knew that was the right decision then for her and I felt much better about it that I was there, comforting her and holding her in her last moments. All things being equal, this is what I would have preferred with my cat. However, she, like your cat, was very frightened and anxious at the vet and I can't really say if my being there holding her would have eased her discomfort any significant amount.

I hope my anecdotes provide some helpful counsel for you. No one can tell you what's definitively right. Just keep your cat's best interests at heart while also taking into consideration how the experience will affect you. My best wishes to you and your pet.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:43 PM on February 1, 2006

I knew when my dog just couldn't walk more than a few steps anymore because her tumors were just too large and painful. Her red eyes. Her inability to do anything (not even go to the bathroom) but sit there looking miserable and in pain. I decided I had to do this and have put it off for far too long.

I drove her to her vet and held her so she would calm down on the tall stainless steel vet table she never liked. I was petting her and she was looking into my eyes as the needle went in. Immediately, she went from a living thing to just a semi-stiff mass. It hurt me a lot, but I did it. I'm 100% sure I waited as long as possible and everything was done humanely. I felt a tremendous amount of guilt like I "threw her away" at first but that wears off. She was dying and in incredible amounts of pain. This had to be done.

If your pet is in a similiar situation then that's the right time. Quality of life issues are subjective but its really not too difficult to observe an animal and know its been in nothing but pain for months and a prolonged death by nature is inhumane compared to an intervention.

Man, this is depressing and the other stories above this are incredibly sad. This is the unspoken consequence of pet ownership.
posted by skallas at 1:51 PM on February 1, 2006

Even when you know it's the right time, it is one of the toughest decisions you'll ever make and you may still be second-guessing yourself years later. Give yourself credit for the feelings you are having and don't discount them.

Having the vet come to the house is a good idea; that's what we did in the case of our own kidney kitty (who lived 8 years after his diagnosis). My other cat died at home on her own of a different disease; and while it was a relief not to have to make the euthanasia decision again so soon, it was still a shock to realize that she had declined that far without really letting on to it.
posted by matildaben at 1:54 PM on February 1, 2006

I had two cats with kidney failure and for both times we had our vet come to the house to euthanize them. They were calm--we did it on our couch. And we could cry and hold them as long as we wanted, which meant a lot. Still, it broke my heart.

I knew it was time when they didn't take comfort in the things that used to make them happy--sleeping with me, being brushed, etc. And when they started getting lost in our house. It scared them and I didn't want them to be frightened.

We had them cremated. The vet took them and we got a call when their urns were ready. Strangely when it comes to people I have no interest in keeping someone's ashes, but I didn't want to bury my cats in our yard because I didn't want to leave them when we moved.
posted by lobakgo at 2:08 PM on February 1, 2006

If you are asking about the process; the vet gives the animal an injection. The animal really does just go to sleep, very quietly. In a few seconds they're just gone. I have taken a cat and a dog to be euthanized - in both cases, it was obviously the only choice, and the vet confirmed it. Both animals gave me the "Why are you letting me hurt?" look. It's part of caring for pets to not let them suffer when they are in pain and cannot recover.

You have my sympathy.
posted by theora55 at 2:13 PM on February 1, 2006

We had a much loved dog euthanized due to renal failure, it still hurts to think about it but she definitely let us know when she was ready - I'd been prevaricating, asking the vet for "just a few more days" when really it was time to let go. We took her to the vet early the next morning, held and stroked her, she licked my face one last time and was gone. It really was a peaceful and dignified way for her to go.

I would have loved the vet to come to the house (it's not really an option here in the UK) so do consider that option.

I wish you all the best. It's a hellishly difficult thing to do but in a way letting go, trusting them to let us know that it's time to go is the last thing we're able to do for our animals.
posted by ceri richard at 2:28 PM on February 1, 2006

I decided I had to do this and have put it off for far too long.

What skallas said. The only thing I truly regret is hanging on to Jupiter too long. Friends who've been in similar situations say the same thing. Go through Emperor S's questions -- even the four or five posted here will give you an answer.

Sounds like your cat has a ways to go yet, which is good. It'll feel awful, even worse than you expect, but it really is an act of love and care, the last best thing you can do for her.

(Afterwards, I discovered a new "there are two kinds of people" split: those who commiserate, and those who say, "It was just a dog, right?")
posted by vetiver at 2:32 PM on February 1, 2006

I made that decision once when I was a kid for my dog. The vet came home to us and my dog recognised him from earlier and got really freaked out when she saw him. My last memories of that dog was her panicking, really scared and growling at the vet while my mother held her down so he could insert the syringe. Not a pleasant memory at all. If I could make that decision again I would have let someone shot my dog (in the head). Messier, but still more humane, less can go wrong, she would not know what was coming at all.
posted by JeNeSaisQuoi at 2:34 PM on February 1, 2006

You say your cat freaks out going to the vet. If the vet coming to you isn't an option, perhaps they can prescribe a sedative to give the cat prior to going to the office.
posted by 6:1 at 3:01 PM on February 1, 2006

JeNeSaisQuoi, I don't really remember this but when my mom's dog got old and sick, my dad did what you suggested. He took the dog out of town, gave her a last piece of steak, and shot her. It was probably a lot less stressful for the dog.
posted by 6550 at 3:50 PM on February 1, 2006

As an aside, if your cat has never had sedatives before, use caution with the sedate-on-the-way-to-the-vet suggestion, or at least do a little research on what you're given with which to sedate her.

Granted, our cat was healthy, not weakened from disease, but when we sedated our cat for a long-distance trip in the car the effect wasn't pretty. She was having a baaad head trip -- confused, disoriented, howlingly upset. Apparently what she was given will rebound in some cats when they're stressed (even though she got appropriately sleepy from the test dose.)
posted by desuetude at 3:59 PM on February 1, 2006

Omg ew. Please do not shoot your animal. That is gross. And inhumane. If your animal is terrified of your particular vet, have his/her partner come do it. Dear god.
posted by radioamy at 5:03 PM on February 1, 2006

My inherited cat Charlie had the exact same situation as you. We decided it was time when he couldn't make it to the litter anymore, although it was even more sad when he couldn't jump up on the couch anymore. Poor little guy. We walked to the vet with him in a blanket and when they gave him the anesthetic before the lethal injection he lost control of his bladder, which was really sad, but the injection appeared painless and he seemed more relaxed than he'd been in a long time. As much as your cat might not like the vet, when it's time to put him down he probably will be too weak to protest. I wish you and your family all the best and may you never forget how great your pet is.
posted by furtive at 5:41 PM on February 1, 2006

tristero, sorry to hear. I just had "Cat" put down last year after a year and a half of giving subQ fluids at home for failing kidneys. He normally freaked when going outside, let alone going to the vet. Anyhow, after the year plus of fluids, he started losing weight again then stopped eating. A visit to the vet showed his blood was off again. So he spent the night there with an IV and under their care. Next day he was getting better (up and eating again), then after the vet seeing him again, I took him home. From the point of his last "vitamin" shot by the vet before leaving, he couldn't walk or even sit upright. At home that night he just laid where I put him. He tried to get to his litter box once (moved it right next to him) but he couldn't make it that far (2 feet). Took him back to the vet and they put him down. I have my suspicions about that "vitamin" shot, but what can you do?

Suggestions...

* if you have the option of giving fluids, it can work. "Cat" initially dropped from 13 lbs to 8 lbs, then with fluids, vitamins, and special diet, he was back to 11 or 12 lbs
* basically, you have an IV bag, stick a needle on the end, slip it under the skin between the shoulder blades (they don't feel this) and open the drip for 100 ml or so
* food is prescription and more expensive than grocery store fare
* vitamins are liquid, can help, and aren't too expensive
* the vet can advise you of these options

If you already know this or don't want to do it or it isn't an option for your cat, you should probably have her put to sleep.

* spend some quality hours with the cat, more for your sake than hers -- she already knows she's at the end and you care about her
* make an appt with the vet to put her down. they're usually pretty good about this
* your cat probably isn't in any mood to "freak out" with any real enthusiasm at this point -- in the end, mine wasn't
* know that keeping her alive is pushing her past when she would have died naturally. she probably knows this.
* if it's your style, bury her (deep, like 3 feet min) somewhere you can visit, with some of her toys

Again, sorry.
posted by mumeishi at 5:44 PM on February 1, 2006

Two years ago, my mom had to put her beloved Boxer-lab mix, Bailey, to sleep. He suffered from congestive heart failure, could barely breathe and my mom knew it was time to end his misery. For knowing the right time, I suggest consulting your vet, if you haven't already. Yes, they're not supposed to put a lot of pressure on you about having your animal euthanized, but if you ask them point blank, "Is the amount of pain/suffering being experienced by my animal worth keeping them alive?", most will speak to you truthfully. My mom's vet was very nice. He let my parents stay with Bailey the entire time. They gave him a wonderful last meal, a sedative, and then he went gently to sleep. Then the vet did something unexpected and incredible that I'll never forget. When my mom went the next day to finish up all the paperwork and pay the bill (the vet graciously let all of that go until after the ordeal) he gave my mother a plaster of paris cast of Bailey's pawprint. It was really nice and meant so much to my mom. Most veterinarians are experienced with the grief that people experience over the loss of their animals, and they can be really wonderful about it.
posted by katyggls at 7:12 PM on February 1, 2006

Yes, I had a very dear pet uthanized about five years ago. He probably would have been dead within a week or two. My vet let me be with him and stroking him while he administered the shot, which seemed to do the shot instantly. His kidneys had failed and the saline IV (under the skin actually) was no longer helping him. He was pretty good about letting me administer them to him, as if he understood that i was doing it to help him. He was a very special friend. I have another cat now, who is also a good friend, but I can't imagine having another cat as smart and friendly as that one. RIP Deetes.
posted by JamesMessick at 7:58 PM on February 1, 2006

I, for one, really appreciate everyone's comments and words of sympathy. It's helped alot. I'm sure it will help other pet owners out there when that time comes as well. Thank-you.
posted by tristero at 8:33 PM on February 1, 2006

in the end you'll just know when the time is right

A bit late, but just wanted to add that the above really is true, tristero. You know your pet's feelings and moods as well as, if not far better than, anyone else.

Like others here, I'd strongly recommend adding an element of family ritual to the euthanasia moment. I helped a friend with this decision a couple of months ago when her dog was diagnosed with advanced cancer; as torn up as she was about it, she was able to see clearly when it was time to have the vet come to the house, and had planned ahead for the moment. It really helped my friend to organize an especially warm and loving last few hours, complete with favorite treats and toys and lots of snuggling and saying goodbye (the vet did it without the knowledge of the practice he was working for, btw; for some idiotic reason the practice frowned on home visits for this sort of thing).
posted by mediareport at 9:04 PM on February 1, 2006

We lost our dog, Sirius, in November. He was hit by a car and died in my arms at the vet ER. I didn't have to make the heartbreaking decision to let him die - he did that on his own - but it was just a horrible, horrible time anyway. Reading all the stories above puts me right back there and I can barely read for the tears in my eyes right now. We still miss him so much. RIP, Sirius.

Tristero, my sincere condolences. It's just a horrible thing to go through.
posted by widdershins at 6:26 AM on February 2, 2006

I just talked to my Vet and they don't offer at home visits either. I may consider calling around to other offices because I know she'd want to spend her last moments at home rather than some alien environment with antiseptic surfaces.
posted by tristero at 1:48 PM on February 2, 2006

You may also want to ask to speak with your vet "off the record."
posted by mediareport at 11:04 PM on February 2, 2006

Thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread. We are currently dealing with this for our 20 year-old Manx kitty, Tiger. Emperor SnooKloze's list of questions is what really made it clear to me that it is probably time to end the kitty's suffering. (Cancer of the larynx.)

The vet appointment is tomorrow, and unless he has really amazing miracle good news for us, that is likely to be it. It is really hard.

I just took the kitty out into the yard to enjoy the sun (she's an indoor kitty). I wish I could sit out there with her all day.
posted by litlnemo at 4:18 PM on April 24, 2006