Buying new glasses stresses me out, how can I make it easier?

January 21, 2018 10:45 AM

Of all things in life, I find the process of buying new glasses to always be super frustrating and I rarely feel satisfied with the end result. I need to buy new glasses, how can I ensure I have a decent experience this time around?

I fully admit that this question might make me sound like a disgruntled nut, but I'd rather go to the dentist than buy new glasses. The entire process makes me miserable.

I find it hard to enjoy buying glasses for a few reasons. I am quite myopic (-8-ish in each eye) and I was also blessed with astigmatism. Naturally, this limits the types of frames I can buy. I also have a round face, which again, limits the styles I can wear.

Usually I can find one or two frames that are okay (currently I wear a style similar to these and they're not bad). If I could, I would just like to get my new lenses put into these frames, but that's not possible.

I need to get new glasses (I'd also like to get prescription sunglasses for the first time) and buying frames is just miserable. The sales people always try to sell me glasses that I don't think suit me (for example, I don't think wire frames look good on me at all and I also don't want to wear brightly colours "funky" glasses that they always try to push on me). I feel like the sales people are completely annoyed with me when I say no to any of their suggestions.

I guess, I just feel difficult and bad about myself when I buy glasses? All these "flaws" that I rarely think about during my day-to-day life are constantly pushed in my face when I get glasses. Seeing the look of disapproval from the salesperson when I find a pair of frames I really like, or having the salesperson suggest glasses to me that I would never wear, makes me feel miserable. I feel bad that my eyes are so myopic, that I have astigmatism, and that my face is round!!! When these are things that I can't change, so it's completely dumb to feel frustrated by these facts.

It's ridiculous how awful buying a new pair of glasses makes me feel. Can anything be done to make this process easier? I'm sort of skeptical about ordering glasses online, especially for someone with my prescription. What are the odds of me getting my pupillary distance correct when the optician in real life can't even seem to get it correct? (In fact, just today I cancelled a new pair of eyeglasses/sunglasses that I ordered because the pd distance was wrong and I felt I had been pressured into buying unflattering frames). I'm also located in Canada, so I'm sure buying glasses online is more expensive here... like everything else is, so is it even more cost effective?

posted by anonymous to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (32 answers total)

I hope you don't feel bad about feeling bad because all of this stuff legitimately sucks. I have a lot of the same problems- round face, astigmatism, fussy pupillary distance, myopic. For me the things I've found that help:
- Don't make friends with the salesperson. They try to chat you up and be friendly so you feel bad about disappointing them. You have to go in with your heart cold as ice, singularly focused on your own purely selfish goal. You have to be completely selfish here.
- Go to a lot of stores. Most places only have a limited stock and I need to try on a lot of styles to find the right one. Know in advance you're planning on hitting several shops and don't feel bad about walking out. It's kind of like shoe shopping that way.
-Bring someone with you and only listen to their opinion.
- if you can't bring someone with you, bring a selfie stick. It will feel a little silly, but you're a stone cold assassin on a deadly mission. Looking silly in front of strangers is temporary, your glasses aren't.
posted by bleep at 11:03 AM on January 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

So the thing I do like about online glasses-buying (I've used Warby Parker) is that you don't have to deal with glasses salespeople; I've also found that they are weirdly aggressive and prone to making obviously bad suggestions. Warby Parker just mails you five pairs of glasses to try on at home (I photographed myself in them because without glasses I can't really tell if they look good, ha); I went through two rounds (10 pairs) before I found one that I liked.

I will say that the quality of the frames isn't great -- they feel kind of flimsy. But the Rx is accurate and they cost like 20% of what I'd pay at a LensCrafters, so for me that's worth it.

Otherwise, can you ask around and find a non-pushy store? There is at least one LensCrafters in Chicago with deeply aloof salespeople (like, they'll barely talk to you even if you ask for help); maybe your town has one of those.
posted by goodbyewaffles at 11:07 AM on January 21, 2018

Do you belong to a wholesale club like Costco? In my experience (not with Costco itself, but one of its US-only competitors), I've found the prices to be better and the salespeople less pushy there.
posted by Seeking Direction at 11:19 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

I hated buying glasses as well, as they are pretty much the first think someone notices about you. Plus the investment can be steep. I finally broke down and tried Zenni Online. The cheapest glasses, with frames, are under $7. So I risked it and bought a few pairs (spent, like, $25, including shipping). It changed everything. If they weren’t perfect I could donate them and lose $7. Not too bad. Turns out, they have all been fabulous. They also have a pupillary distance guide, and you can upload your photo to ‘try’ on the frames. It might be a good step for you.

Now I love buying glasses!

Also, I tend to buy the same shape frame as you, and they have lots of options with that shape.
posted by Vaike at 11:20 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

Even if you don't end up buying glasses from them I would definitely use the software on the Zennie web site to pre-shop. You can upload a picture of your face and try glasses on it. You will have to guess at your pupillary distance (62mm for women and 64mm for men are averages) but for purposes of looking at frames it really doesn't matter.

As I was writing this I saw Vaike's comment above and agree wholeheartedly. I ordered from Zennie and the glasses in person basically look the way they did on the web site picture.

There are only a few basic glasses shape and trying things on online will help you identify what characteristics you care about -- for example I HATE heavy plastic around the nose as it makes me look like I am wearing groucho marx nose glasses. That dramatically reduces the number of options at the optometrist that you will try on.
posted by selfmedicating at 11:23 AM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Even if you ultimately buy in-person, a site like Zenni Optical can be very helpful for figuring out what your ideal style of frame would be, since you can upload a photo and the styles get overlaid. I think coming in with a print-out of something you like the looks of would provide a nice anchor when the salesperson is trying to push their latest line of Incredibly Expensive options.
posted by teremala at 11:23 AM on January 21, 2018

I've found that the people at the fancy expensive places are lower pressure in general (because they don't have to be high pressure in that environment), and while I'm "only" a -6.5 I need progressive lenses. At this point I have enough of a prescription (and experience with it) that I know what sort of frames do and don't work for me. So I can go into a new shop and say I want something bold (to catch attention instead of my thick lenses), with articulated nosepieces (all-plastic frames don't stay put, especially not with thick lenses), and tall enough for a regular progressive and not a "short" one. Sometimes they'll ask for my prescription then to make sure they understand what I need, but simply saying "I need this, this, and this" is enough to set the terms of the engagement. If they ask clarifying questions I can say why stuff doesn't work (e.g. no rimless or semi-rimless, lenses look bad in wire frames, etc) and at that point they can point me to the three frames they have that might work. One nice thing about the fancy expensive places is they have more than three choices that meet my criteria, because they can afford to.

I'm not afraid to leave a shop as quickly as I came in if the selection or the staff don't work for me. Go in, make my pitch, see what they have, maybe take some pictures, leave. I only deal with the details of a fitting after I've seen all the frames I might like and made my decision at home.
posted by fedward at 11:31 AM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

I don't really have advice for in person shopping except to stick to your guns, as you would in the face of any pushy sales person. Easier said than done, I know. But maybe if you start with, "I like this general style" and just rule out entire categories, that will help. Like what fedward said, only they said it better.

re. online: I love Zenni, but they are not quite as cheap if your rx isn't simple. Still, glasses that often cost me over $400 US (with insurance) in person were under $100 (before insurance) from Zenni. And then my insurance still paid part of it, though I had to submit it manually. I can't tell for sure if they ship to Canada, but it seems likely.

I haven't done it myself, but I thought you could put new lenses in old frames, though that won't help this time unless you have a second pair of frames that you also like since I'm sure you'd have to be without the glasses for at least a short time. Maybe others can chime in on that.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 11:34 AM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

In my experience the sales people at independent shops tend to be helpful and low pressure. (These stores often pride themselves on not selling Luxottica).
posted by oceano at 11:37 AM on January 21, 2018

Also: please don't feel bad! You are the one who has to wear the glasses, not the sales rep, and you are totally entitled to get a pair that you like and are comfortable with.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 11:37 AM on January 21, 2018

The one thing I dislike about buying online with a high prescription is that you can't actually order them without speaking to someone on the phone, which is the opposite of what I want from an internet transaction.

on preview wrt new lenses in old frames: opticians have told me a number of times over the years that this was problematic because the frames could become brittle and possibly break during the process, but I don't know enough about making glasses (in fact i know nothing) to tell if that's a legitimate concern or a sales tactic to get people to buy new frames.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:41 AM on January 21, 2018

Everyone else has given you great practical advice. I've had the same issue getting fitted for glasses and totally empathize. I'm going to pass on what a real estate developer client of mine told me when I was buying my first house: just remember you are the person with the money and therefore the person in charge - everyone else in the transaction revolves around you.

You are purchasing their expert advice but the decision whether and how to spend your money is yours. Their job, their only reason for being there is to find a way to give you what you want. The visual image he gave me was to imagine myself with a wad of dough in my hot little hand, waving it around. It works!

They want your money - make THEM work for it - you have all the power here, don't be afraid to use it. It sounds like you know what you want. If they can't or stupidly won't find a way to give it to you, there are plenty of other places that can and will and won't give you a hard time about it for gosh sakes.
posted by Gnella at 11:43 AM on January 21, 2018 [4 favorites]

I’ve used the cheap online discount places (not bad for a spare pair but I wouldn’t want to wear them daily), Costco (decent - they’ll adjust as needed and no one has ever bugged me ask tried on frames until I pulled a number and was ready to buy), and Warby Parker. WP’s regular glasses are great, I love the try on five pairs at home deal but their sunglasses are overpriced. Costco’s eye exam wasn’t very good, so I’ll stick elsewhere on that. Your eye exam provider can measure your PD, or they’ll have you do something to measure it most places. Buying glasses at a place with pushy sales reps sucks. There are better alternatives! Costco has screaming deals if you use VSP, maybe go right when they open during the week for a less stressful process if you go there. Otherwise WP has been good if you like their styles.
posted by OneSmartMonkey at 12:16 PM on January 21, 2018

My last in-person purchase was with a guy who I think was on his first day. His supervisor kept checking in, and at the end of it I was confident that we had a good deal. Got the glasses and they were the absolute worst glasses I ever had. After spending over $200. So I decided to try Zenni just once with the cheapest glasses they had. My reasoning was that they could not possibly be worse than the expensive ones I had just bought. I was really nervous about the whole thing, the measuring, the fitting, etc. Turns out I can do at least as good a job as the guy on his first day. My first Zennis were perfect. My second ones had to be heated with the hair dryer and fitted to my head, a five-minute exercise that was a little nerve-wracking. The dozen or more since then have also been perfect. The great thing about spending $40 on a pair of glasses is that I can experiment with color and shape SO MUCH MORE than I could before. A $250 pair of glasses had to be so generic because I had to wear them for a long time before I could afford another pair. With Zenni, I can get a blue pair or a red pair or some cute sunglasses. If I lose them, no big deal. None of my Zenni glasses have ever broken, the quality seems to be just as good as the store in the mall. I get compliments on them all the time. Like others above, this shopping process has gone from something I dreaded to something I really enjoy.
posted by raisingsand at 12:28 PM on January 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

Can you order a fresh set of your existing frames? Last time I got frames I told them I wasn't finding anything I liked as much as my existing frames (which had already had new lenses and were getting a bit scuffed) and they said they could just order the same ones.

Another idea is to go frame shopping long before you have your exam. That way you wouldn't feel like you had to make a decision on the spot, so no pressure.

Take a friend with you to give your feedback. Tell them what your issues are and what you're hoping to find, and ask them to give you honest feedback instead of telling you what they think you want to hear. Have them snap some pics of good candidate frames on your face that you can look at later when you're not in the shop
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 12:35 PM on January 21, 2018

Zenni has absolutely changed my life and I am also very nearsighted. My glasses cost 50-60 instead of 300+. I've actually had two pairs at a time for the first time in my life, and Rx sunglasses!!

I've heard some complaints that the plastic frames break easily, but if you're like me and your glasses live on your face all the time.... I haven't had any problems.
posted by nakedmolerats at 1:08 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

You say you can't get your new lenses in your old frames, but why not? Every glasses place I have been to can do this. The cost of the lenses and frames are separate.

Failing that why can't you bring in your glasses and just say you want identical frames?

All that being said, I buy my vision aids from clearlycontacts.ca. You won't get the super cheap deals on specs because they'll charge extra for your special lenses. But their prices and service are great and no pushy salesfolks.
posted by windykites at 1:43 PM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

If you're ever in or near San Francisco, memail me and let's set up a glasses shopping date. I have two stores that I can count on with such success that I'm becoming personal friends with one owner and friends-and-family discount holder at both.

I can't imagine buying glasses online even though I know that people do it regularly. I don't know how something so look until I see it on my face and my prescription is just slightly too complicated to trust to a faceless website.
posted by janey47 at 1:53 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Not wanting to go through the process of purchasing a new pair of glasses again was a non-trivial part of my decision to do laser correction. I never felt quite as strongly as you (or maybe I just hate going to the dentist more than you), but it's a relief to not have to deal with that process anymore.
posted by deludingmyself at 2:36 PM on January 21, 2018

I hate it too and have never in my life been satisfied with my choice. For my next pair, a friend has said I can send selfies to them, so I'm hoping it'll let me branch out from my usual safe picks.
posted by bonobothegreat at 2:46 PM on January 21, 2018

Can you bring someone with you, someone whose aesthetic judgment you trust? That is the only way I can successfully buy glasses. I have extremely poor eyesight so I can't judge glasses without, y'know, wearing my glasses. Taking pictures on a phone has limited utility given the inevitable distortions of the small lens. And sorry, but I'm not putting my face in the hands of a glasses salesperson. One time my dad (who has terrible vision) did that, and came home with rhinestone-studded women's glasses - an outcome that, as a heterosexual man whose job requires him to be taken seriously by the general public, I assure you he was not seeking. He doesn't go glasses shopping alone anymore. And nor do I.

I find that with someone else in the mix, you can mostly conduct a conversation between yourselves, with limited interference from the salesperson. They become someone who's there mostly to assess whether the frames will work with your prescription, and to provide information on colors available, whether or not the frames are due to be discontinued (i.e., get them this year or never), etc.

Alternately, if you are satisfied with any of the frames you've ever worn - and still have them, or have pictures of you wearing them - show them to the salesperson and say, "Can you find me something that looks as close to this as possible?"
posted by desert outpost at 2:58 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

If you’re in Toronto or the GTA, I’m happy to come with you for a second opinion.
posted by whowearsthepants at 3:23 PM on January 21, 2018

If you are in the area and can afford it, I highly recommend Karen Flynn, who owns The Optician in Berkeley, California. I am terrible at picking out frames. When I needed a new pair, the friend who usually advises me was unavailable. So I turned to Yelp and the glowing reviews (yes, they can be faked but I don't think these were) convinced me to try The Optician. Karen picked out a bunch of different frames for me to try. In the end, I chose frames that I would never have selected for myself and that get constant complements. When I was getting a dental exam recently, I recommended Karen to my dentist and one of the dental hygienists asked, "Are you talking about Karen?" and then pulled out some vintage frames. The hygienist talked about how much she hated shopping for glasses because she has all kinds of challenges with her face specifically related to getting frames that fit and look good. When she walked into The Optician, she started to tell Karen about her challenges but didn't need to finish her list because Karen took one look at her and said, "I bet you have X, Y, and Z issues. Lemme find some frames that will work for you." Finally, if you like vintage frames, Karen has a bunch not in her shop but stored elsewhere and will bring them in for your review if that is your style. I am not friends with Karen, or a relative, I just really, really like her customer service and friendly attitude. It sucks to buy stuff that is hard to buy. I'm sorry the glasses thing has been so hard for you. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 3:29 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

I hear you, glasses shopping is terrible! The only way I can handle it now is I look on yelp for highly rated places, and visit several shops (the last time I got a new pair - I took a few months and visited over a dozen shops). I tell the salesperson right away that I’m just trying frames on to get an idea of shape and color. Take photos and sleep on the decision.

Also - those frames look great - Especially for a rounder face (I have one too). Look for frames that are more rectangular and that don’t cut straight across on the top of the frame to find a frame similar to yours. My latest frames are from Oliver Peoples and they might have something you like.
posted by umwhat at 4:35 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Another Canadian four-eyes here, seconding Clearly - their prices aren't quite as good as they were a few years ago but still much better than traditional stores. I prefer them over Zenni and others because their shipping within Canada is much faster (and free) and returns are free. If you're in Vancouver or Toronto they have storefronts where you can try some of the frames on - you can try a bunch on, think on it (take pictures and write down the model numbers!) and order later at home, or they have computer kiosks where you can order them right away and have them ship it to your home. IME the "salespeople" (they don't actually make any sales since it's just a storefront for their online operation) are not pushy at all and barely interact with you unless prompted, which suits me just fine.
posted by btfreek at 4:51 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Zenni. Make sure your measurements are complete and correct, then go for it.

I HATE glasses sales people with a burning passion.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:03 PM on January 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

The advantage Warby Parker has over other online glasses companies is that you can order 5 try-on frames to be shipped to your house at no cost. If none look good you can ship them back and order 5 different ones, also at no cost.

There are also optometrists who will do exams including pupillary distance without requiring you to buy glasses from them, which increases your chances of getting a correct PD.
posted by mrmurbles at 6:27 PM on January 21, 2018

Note that Warby Parker does not offer the home try-on option in Canada.
posted by btfreek at 8:03 PM on January 21, 2018

I'm someone who won't buy glasses online for a lot of reasons, but I'll buy frames online and get the lenses made and put on by a local optician. I've never had a problem with anyone refusing to do that.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 8:10 PM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

I would recommend looking at Costco. I recently bought three pairs for under $500. They will let you look around the store without a membership. I have found the employees in the eye ware department to be very good but not pushy. I have found that the product they sell to be top quality.
posted by tman99 at 8:39 AM on January 22, 2018

You should be able to have new lenses put in your existing frames. I highly recommend transitions lenses (the auto changing sunglass things) I used to think they were dorky for smoe reason but I got 4 pairs this year and i love them. They have different tint colors so you an choose a warm or cooler tone and they change faster than i remember from my youth.
posted by WeekendJen at 9:04 AM on January 22, 2018

Nthing going with a friend or relative whose appraisal you trust. Also practice: go into a store and just try things on without any expectation of buying with a friend or relative. Try the really insane frames, have a laugh, move on to the next thing.

Also, try looking around for independent shops in your area - they'll have styles that are not being carried by the mall stores and the staff treat your business differently. If your area happens to be Minneapolis, Memail me and I'd be happy to make a recommendation.
posted by koucha at 2:06 PM on January 26, 2018