What should I make for my neighbors who've suffered a bereavement?
January 17, 2018 2:20 PM   Subscribe

My neighbors' brother-in-law just died. I'd like to take over some food but am way overthinking this. Help?

The neighbors are a family of four with one teen and one pre teen. No one seems particularly picky but I believe two are lactose intolerant. That's ruling out some of my initial comfort food thoughts such as a baked pasta bolognese with the homemade sauce I already have in the fridge. They said they would be hosting a lot of family over the coming week.

I'm still thinking along the lines of some type of pasta casserole. Things I have:
Cuban pulled pork - this is neutral enough that it cos be utilized I think
Various pasta shapes
Tomato sauce
Whole canned tomatoes
Shredded Mozzarella and Mexican blend cheese - can these be used?
Panko breadcrumbs
Carrots
Frozen peas
Goat cheese
Thyme

My husband is stopping by the store so no need to limit yourself to the above. What would you suggest?
posted by peacheater to Food & Drink (12 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Don't use any cheese of any kind. Lactose intolerant means no animal milks unless they have told you specifically that a specific product is OK in a specific amount. Goat milk has less lactose but it still has some and does cause problems for some people. You could label it and put it on the side, though. If they are hosting people, I would suggest not including any meat in case there are vegetarians in their party.

You could get some loaves of bread and send the cooked pork with sandwich fixings so people could help themselves to a sandwich. You could also make a tomato-sauce + vegetables pasta dish-- it need not be a casserole.
posted by blnkfrnk at 2:27 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


A lot of people bring casseroles, so I would vote for a big fruit and/or veggie platter -- great for guests to munch on, and also supplements all the heavier foods other people are likely to bring.
posted by rainbowbrite at 2:31 PM on January 17, 2018 [14 favorites]


A big bowl of cooked pasta with your homemade tomato sauce (assuming it doesn't have cheese in it) stirred through would be a quick, easy, filling meal that would suit everyone and they could add other things to if they wanted. You could add some tubs of possible additions ready to go, separated out - roast vegetables, ground beef and onions, etc. (Not sure from this if you're limited to using what's already in your cupboard or can go out to buy other things?)
posted by penguin pie at 2:42 PM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]


Pulled pork is made for crowds and it can sit in a warmer or warm oven for a long time and still be tasty. Stir in some sweet-spicy barbecue sauce and some buns and you're done. A fruit salad on the side is nice too so it's not "just meat." Or do the traditional coleslaw.
posted by shoesietart at 3:42 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


My best received food gifts were groaning platters of crudite' with piles of carrots, celery, radishes, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, olives, green onions, pepper strips, and pita chips surrounding hummus and/or chicken salad. Folks said it was great for picking at all afternoon, and I sent it over with each item in its own disposable storage tub so they could go straight into the fridge for later with no labor at all.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 3:56 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


Not on the savory side, but when my mom's neighbor's husband passed away, we went to the little corner store and bought a Krusteaz crumb cake mix, and I baked it up and we delivered it later that day.

We were somewhat embarrassed when they called a few days later to ask for the recipe. I think they were appreciative of anything, and it probably falls within no-milk recipes.

I recently made this orange date-nut bread recipe, and did not use the nuts (so would add a bit more dates next time). It uses orange juice instead of milk, and oil instead of butter. Very moist, and tasty, and lasts a few days (you could do mini loaves or muffins).
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 4:22 PM on January 17, 2018


Breakfast food like bagels or raisin bread can be nice if there are house guests. Don’t know your grocery situation, but Daiya makes a good non-dairy cream cheese that my regular grocery store carries.
posted by FencingGal at 4:22 PM on January 17, 2018


If they drink coffee take them over a canister of it. Funny what you do not think of when someone passes....
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:30 PM on January 17, 2018 [4 favorites]


One of the best food gifts I received when I was recently bereaved and hosting family was sandwich fixings--just plain old cold cuts and sliced cheese and bread. That sounds like not much of A Thing, but when you're deep in the pits and can't make Decision 1 it's nice to just be able to toss something on the counter and say "feed yourselves" to everyone else. If two are lactose intolerant then perhaps some non-dairy cheese substitutes?
posted by drlith at 4:34 PM on January 17, 2018 [6 favorites]


Veggie pot pie (you can sub oil/margarine for butter.) Even better if you can do mini pies. Frittata. Big pot o chicken soup and bread. Muffins.

Yes to sandwich fixins and crudité.
posted by kapers at 4:42 PM on January 17, 2018 [1 favorite]


The pulled pork with buns sounds great. If their house isn't the hub of daytime activity but they're hosting overnight guests, maybe breakfast things instead?

Other things: grapes/oranges/apples that can sit out, mixed nuts, crackers and vaguely healthy snacks like Sun Chips, and those bags of salad that include dressing and crunchy things.
posted by mgar at 5:23 PM on January 17, 2018


At the most recent pre-shiva hangout I attended the hosts ordered fajitas and it worked out perfectly. People could assemble their fajitas however they wanted, small amounts could be reheated easily, everything came in separate containers for easy storage and display, there was a variety of meat, bean, vegetable, and condiments with the tortillas being an easy carb to opt out of or pick up and carry to another room. So anything with those qualities would work great. Have your husband definitely pick up a bunch of separate disposable containers and some plastic utensils to aid in assembly and storage of whatever it is - tacos, sandwiches, pita with fixings, antipasto selection, baked potato bar, etc.
posted by Mizu at 9:47 PM on January 17, 2018


« Older Why do I see weird shapes when I'm getting sick?   |   PG Wodehouse Plot Style Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.