What is a perm and will it work for me?

January 16, 2018 8:12 AM

I am very bad at hair and have no idea what I'm doing. I'd like my normal every day hair to look something like #1 or #6 or #12 in this list I've been told that's alot of wand work but I prefer to sleep in the mornings. Would a perm work for me?

Background: I have straight hair that's a couple of inches above shoulder length. I would say medium thickness. Never been dyed or permed before, so currently very healthy. My hair does obey very well and I've never needed to use products when I style my hair at home (when I used to do that more often).

As said above, I am very bad at hair. I have no idea how to get the look above with a wand/straightener. I have no idea what products to use to achieve that look. I've been told it's a lot of work to get the messy bob look, and I would rather sleep than get up an hour earlier to do my hair (current routine is just to wash and blow-dry).

I've heard that perms these days don't look as bad as they did a long time ago. I have no idea what kind of hair care comes with a perm. If I was able to get a perm that achieved this effect, how much work would go into styling it every day? (Or is there a secret to get this look without all that work?)

Ugh, why does it take so much work to get my hair look look messy?

posted by LizBoBiz to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (16 answers total)

have you tried sleeping in a sock bun or plaits?
posted by missmagenta at 8:38 AM on January 16, 2018 [3 favorites]

I don't know much of anything about perms or wands or products but to me it looks like it's about the cut and about not blowing it out/styling it and just letting it drip dry, sorta. My hair does this kind of thing right after I wash it and if I had one of those haircuts I think it would look like that. Have you shown these photos to a stylist in your area? Is there anyone who specializes in low fuss styles? Of course they make their money on high fuss styles...
posted by mareli at 8:56 AM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

Scrunching might work for you since you only want a subtle wave. Try a youtube search for "scrunching waves" or "beach waves scrunch".

I think a diffuser helps ie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xnJGyH_6m4
posted by i_mean_come_on_now at 8:59 AM on January 16, 2018 [2 favorites]

A perm would give you more of a defined "curl" than it seems that you're looking for. You'd still have to fuss with it to brush the curl out into more of the shaggy vibe you're after.

When you describe your chosen style to a hairdresser, the word you're looking for is "piecey". They can recommend how to do it; they'll probably recommend either some kind of product that you scrunch into your hair and leave it there; sleeping with hair in braids and then undoing it can also help.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:12 AM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

You will definitely need styling to make your hair look like the photos - last time I saw my stylist she mentioned that she gets lots of complaints from customers who want a "lob" haircut like #1 and then are surprised that wash and wear doesn't look like that.

A perm breaks disulfide bonds in the hair, and then they re-form with the hair in the shape it's in while being permed. You can get your hair permed straight or in loose waves. You would probably still need products and some styling to get it looking polished - I'm not sure it would be worth it for you.

I'd talk to a stylist about the look you want and the amount of effort you're willing to put in to get there, and see what they say. A good stylist will 1) be happy you're interested in their expertise 2) have suggestions for similar styles that will be easier to maintain with your particular hair texture / thickness / growth pattern.
posted by momus_window at 9:31 AM on January 16, 2018 [3 favorites]

Nthing that it's all about a good stylist. My current stylist has been able to consistently cut my hair so that it emulates the look that you're after with minimal effort on my part. I've never been able to get this look before from other stylists, but have been lucky enough to find the magical unicorn of hair stylists.
posted by whistle pig at 9:41 AM on January 16, 2018

The height these women have at the crown is achieved by styling - maybe blowdrying upside down or with a big round metal brush. I've seen those waves referred to as "beachy waves" if you want a google term. That's styling product plus heat tool, possibly wrapping the hair around a flat iron as though it were a curling iron. (I use tigi Bed Head After Party for the piece-y look.) There are tutorials online that are way better than my description. I don't think a perm will help you with this (not knowing your hair type of course), because a perm will give you a neater, more regular curl or wave, and you want irregular and messy. The perm is also unlikely to give you height at the crown. You might have curl at the crown if the rollers go up far enough, but these women's hair is straight at the crown. I realize I didn't make that sound like less work than you wanted. Sorry!
posted by Knowyournuts at 10:01 AM on January 16, 2018

I've never heard of anyone achieving those looks without at least *some* products and styling. I had a look like #1 for a while, and I had to use three products (wax, putty, and pomade) to get it right. Besides being too much work, it smelled like a French whorehouse.

A competent stylist will be able to tell you if your hair will do what you want it to, teach you how to do it, and suggest alternatives if it won't work.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:20 AM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

If you don't mind taking 10 minutes at night: wash your hair in the evening, let it dry halfway but not all the way, put some hair junk in it (any kind; something for encouraging curls if you've got it, but whatever, just a bunch of something). then take big strands, scrunch and twist them up all haphazard-like and pin them to the top of your head. then go to sleep.

When you wake up in the morning, unpin carefully, touch it just enough with your hands to arrange the curls the way you want them and fluff up the top of your head just a bit. spray it with hairspray if you have any. do not brush it or it will all disappear. do not touch it.

if the air is dry and your hair wants to be straight, this can disappear in fifteen minutes. but on rainy days it is the way to achieve enormous tousled beauty for hours and hours.

also, blow-drying will straighten it out unless you use diffusers and product and "technique" which I assume you don't want to worry about. better to wash at night and, dare I say, go to sleep on it before it is fully air-dried. people tell you not to sleep on wet hair because of breakage but if that's not a problem for you, go for it. looks amazing in the morning if you want a messy head.
posted by queenofbithynia at 10:25 AM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks for all the help everyone. Some additional comments:

-I have checked out video tutorials. I really have a hard time getting things to work like they do in the video (I scorched about 3 inches of a chunk of hair with a blow-dryer trying to replicate one video). Let me reiterate again that I am really really bad at hair. I know how to make curls with a curling iron, I can do a normal braid on my own hair, and that's about it. Which means the answer may just be talk to a stylist and then practice, practice, practice.

-I thought you could get perms with big curls/waves, not just the tight ones? But it sounds to me like that would be a bit more uniform than what I'm going for.
posted by LizBoBiz at 10:57 AM on January 16, 2018

You can totally get a wave perm, not just curls. Here's a bunch of links about that kind of perm.

I Got a Perm (Yes, a Perm) in Search of the Perfect Beach Waves

Why You Should Get a Perm -- Yes, Seriously

Reconsider the Perm

I think if you follow your stylist's directions (or look at the list in the 3rd link), you'll be fine. It does damage your hair and it's more high-maintenance probably than you think, but if you know what you're in for, I say do it!
posted by ancient star at 11:34 AM on January 16, 2018 [4 favorites]

So if you're struggling with styling, a stylist can also help you! A ways back I wanted to learn to do waves/curls with a straightener (they look super good, btw, and pretty similar to what you want), and my stylist sat down with me for half an hour and showed me how to do it. I paid her the cost of a blowout, IIRC, since we figured that takes the same amount of time and has approximately the same result.

(I had the haircut/style you describe for a while, and once I got good at the straightener -- which could not have happened without that stylist sit-down -- it took like 5-6 minutes tops to get my hair to look like that, because you can get away with just waving the top layers.)
posted by goodbyewaffles at 12:23 PM on January 16, 2018

I am bad at styling, no patience to learn hair things, don’t understand products, don’t like “changing my look” every day so a total creature of inert habit, and I have this hair. It is dead easy. I use a straightener to create a light bend in the mornings and am done in five min. It’s a little like how you use the edge of a scissor blade to curl a ribbon but lightly. I promise your stylist can show you and a few practices on a weekend is all you need.
posted by sestaaak at 12:28 PM on January 16, 2018 [1 favorite]

I've read the article at ancient star's first link before, and I found it very informative.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:21 PM on January 16, 2018

I’ve been able to achieve this look by blow drying my hair upside down with a bit of surf spray then while it’s still hot and just very slightly damp, twisting and pinning it into two buns near the top of my head until it cools. Then I take out the buns and as the hair falls twist individual locks a bit more (it will loosen quickly so twist more than you actually want curl). The whole process takes 10 min (not including cooling time during which I eat breakfast). My hair holds styles easily, though, if yours doesn’t maybe spray with hair spray lightly after twisting.

I also agree with commenters above that the right piecey cut is necessary for this to work well.
posted by Waiting for Pierce Inverarity at 6:51 PM on January 16, 2018

Honestly, even with a perm you'd have to style your hair, so if I were you I'd (a) get a good, piecey cut and (b) put some time and effort into learning how to style your hair, because you can totally get good at doing your own hair with practice, and even a well done perm has the potential to destroy your hair.

Subscribe to Kristin Ess' Instagram. She posts tutorials on how she gets that loose wave all the time. This tutorial is one of my favourites, and I basically do this technique on my own hair every second day. You can save a lot of time in the morning by starting with dry hair - I'll often go to bed with wet hair to wake up with a bit of texture the next day. This video tutorial is also super helpful.

I personally find I get much better results on shorter hair with an actual curling tong with a clamp - it takes a while to get the knack of using the clamp, but once that muscle memory is there it's a breeze - than a wand, because the clamp 'polishes' the hair and makes it easier to style. I own the big GHD tong all these vloggers use and it's seriously great but you do not need to spend that money by any stretch of the imagination.

You'll also really need a texture spray to get that messy look. This is the best one I've ever used. Products are your friend!

Challenge yourself to tong your hair 3-4 times a week for a few weeks, rather than throwing up your hands and declaring that you're no good at styling hair. You can get good at styling hair, and it's totally worth it.
posted by nerdfish at 2:23 AM on January 17, 2018 [2 favorites]