University Blues

January 30, 2006 2:51 PM

Has anyone dropped out of school or taken a significant amount of time off and done something exotic? I can't stand college anymore. I know that most jobs I could get out of the US, or even in remote and interesting places within the US, would require some sort of skill, so what sorts of things should I work on now? What kinds of opportunities should I know about? I went to college for two semesters, decided that I was sick of being schooled after 19 years and took a semester off to travel through Asia by myself. I did, and came back full of fervor for learning and seeing my friends again.

But that didn't happen. I feel exactly the same as I used to, almost all of my friends annoy me and I have absolutely no passion for anything whatsoever. My classes and my job bore the shit out of me, and I don't have any time for anything outside of those. There is zero joy in my life, I'm listless, I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. I'm afraid that my grades will keep slipping, that I'll get further into psychadelic drugs (nothing addictive, but still) and that I'm eventually just going to lose it. Something needs to change.

I could stick it out and finish college, but I don't care about my major or any jobs I could get with it. Basically, I'm paying a whole lot of money and getting deeper and deeper into debt for a degree I don't want and an apartment I don't need. I feel like there are bigger and better things out there. I don't think I'm the first person to feel like this.

Just about the only job qualifications I have are a TEFL certificate, my health and a pretty good knowledge of computers. I don't really like teaching English, but more importantly I'm terrible at it and I feel like it'd be an injustice to the students and school to go do that again. I could stay some place and just work to save money, but I don't think I could afford housing and for reasons I'd rather not explain it's impossible to go live with my parents again for any amount of time.

What can I do? Am I stuck here for another three years? What skills can I develop to get the hell out of here earlier? Should I just go join the French Foreign Legion?

posted by anonymous to travel & transportation (17 comments total)

What are you passionate about? What do you love? OK you hate school. But I think we need more information about the things you do like to make suggestions here.
posted by LarryC at 3:25 PM on January 30, 2006

The Peace Corps sounds like something you might be interested...and there are plenty of opportunties outside of teaching English. The main skill I suppose you'd need is the mastery of another language. You can get into a program like urban planning or business development, which are certainly skills that carry over anywhere. However, the Peace Corps prefers college graduates, so you might just have to wait.

But don't drop out of school! A college degree is an amazing asset and an investment you should make. Maybe you feel like your degree is meaningless but I guarantee that employers, no matter what kind of work you're looking for, won't. To make your college years more bearable, find others like yourself! You're not the only one who feels this way, that's for sure. Start doing volunteer work (lots of quality volunteer work will help you get any job and give you a great skill-set to work with), join clubs to find likeminded people (you never really told us what you were interested it), and take advantage of your school's resources. My school, for example, offers organized volunteer activities to other countries during spring break and other typical vacation times. Just think about your ideal job/position, and spend the next few years building the perfect resume. I wish I could be more helpful/specific, but you gave very little information to work with!

And not to make assumptions, but you really sound depressed. I suggest you get some outside help that we here can't provide.
posted by apple scruff at 3:29 PM on January 30, 2006

There is surely an american university somewhere in asia. If you had fun while you were travelling there, you might like university there. Overall, costs may turn out to be surprisingly similar over 3 or 4 years.
posted by jmgorman at 4:26 PM on January 30, 2006

In Canada the gov't has a thing called Youth Employment Strategies (YES). (By Youth they mean up to about 30.) They pay for all sorts of different programes...

I did an exchange with Canada World Youth, one called Netcorps, which was technology focused for people in the 21-30 age range.

I don't know if that'll help you, but maybe someone reading this in Canada will find this useful.
posted by tiamat at 4:29 PM on January 30, 2006

Consider switching schools to one in a big city. Life in a big city is a thousand times different (better!) than in a smaller town.

What qualifies as a big city? Somewhere where there's a subway and people actually walk. There's a sense of community and connectedness in a big city (as well as an insane night life) that you don't get in the 'burbs. Sell the car, sell the house, sell the kids, head to the city and never look back.
posted by TorontoSandy at 4:42 PM on January 30, 2006

Personal experience -

I dropped out of highschool and spent a couple of years bumming around my hometown. After a while of this, I felt that I should "do something," so I decided to attend college.

Unfortunately, I hated my college, hated my life, and hated everything and everyone around me.

So I dropped out, and for two years, did all of the things that I really wanted to do. I traveled around the country, went to tons of concerts, and did all kinds of wild crazy stuff.

However, that got really old after a while, and I decided that I wanted to go back to school, only for real this time. So I chose a school that didn't suck in a town that didn't suck, and a degree that I was interested in.

Best decision I ever made. Since I had been out in the real world, I saw what life was like for someone who didn't have a degree. I wound up being far more focused on my studies then any of my friends were. Sure, I still did a lot of partying, but I also did an immense amount of studying. I graduated four years later with good grades and some valuable internship experience. Got a great job right out of college, moved to NYC, and have never regretted a thing.

My advice- get all the craziness out of your system. If you seriously think that college isn't for you right now, chances are that it isn't. Better to go off and sow some wild oats then waste valuable time and money on a college experience that you don't want. If and when you do go back to school, there's a good chance that you'll get 100x more out of your experience then any of your friends. Also, the experiences that you have during your "time off" will be some of the most valuable and character-shaping of your life. I would be far, far worse off as a person had I not taken time off from school.
posted by Afroblanco at 4:48 PM on January 30, 2006

A word to the wise, though - watch out for the psychedelic drugs. They may not be physically addictive, but if you do decide to follow the path of the shaman, you may wind up getting more then you bargained for.

Not saying that you should abstain, but definitely be careful.
posted by Afroblanco at 5:03 PM on January 30, 2006

I agree with Afroblanco. A degree is a degree and might not bear much relationship to what you end up doing outside of school. Find something that you find a bit engaging (at least 1/3 of the course) in a place you like. Graduates are generally better workers and have better career outcomes.

You do sound a bit depressed - maybe nothing major, but worth investigating.
posted by singingfish at 5:05 PM on January 30, 2006

My classes and my job bore the shit out of me

When there's no time in my life for anything else other than career-related demands, I get pretty burnt out and unhappy, too. I blew off almost everything from my entire junior year of college that I couldn't sleepwalk through because of this.

Past 30, any hurry to push myself through college quickly seems foolish in retrospect. If I were doing it over again, I'd probably have spent two whole years taking random classes and projects that interested me part-time, while working part-to-3/4 time.

Unless you're under some kind of pressure to be able to support others via a career soon, or you're over 25, you don't have to force anything. If you are over 25, you might still not want to force anything, but consider that sometimes, just finishing something will sometimes help you better understand what you want and don't want, and gives you a mark you can be proud of.

But until you're really ready to focus on something based on a welling of personal initiative, it's often good to make sure you leave the time and space in your life to cast a wide net. Cut down your class schedule, cut back hours at work if they'll allow it and you can afford it, and do a bit of lateral drifting in the context of the culture you plan to make your life in.
posted by namespan at 5:26 PM on January 30, 2006

I could stick it out and finish college, but I don't care about my major or any jobs I could get with it. Basically, I'm paying a whole lot of money and getting deeper and deeper into debt for a degree I don't want and an apartment I don't need. I feel like there are bigger and better things out there. I don't think I'm the first person to feel like this.

Well, you'll still have to pay everything back that you spent already, and it will be much harder for you.

Suck it up and stop being such a pussy. Real life won't be any fun either.
posted by delmoi at 7:08 PM on January 30, 2006

apple scruff and tiamat have some great suggestions. One more: americorps. Apparently it's like the peace corps without the college & expertise requirements. A number of stoner/dropout friends of mine are forever reminiscing about their wild (admittedly, Clinton-era) americorps days: some took the scholarship and returned to school invigorated, others used their new skills to get non-dead end jobs. Either way, no teaching involved, you learn "leadership," and not it's not a bad thing to have on your resume.
posted by ellanea at 8:24 PM on January 30, 2006

Transfer to Friends World Program, an interdisciplinary, formerly Quaker program that seems to involve spending 3/4ths of your college time abroad. According to the person who told me about this (who, might I add, was designing a BA in tattoo artistry that spanned its cultural history in Japan to contemp. western significance, to actual doing tattoos), they're very generous with need-based aid.
posted by soviet sleepover at 8:36 PM on January 30, 2006

I think if you are burned out, you should definitely take a break. You get more out of college if you actually want to be there. Perhaps consider doing something interesting with your summer vacation...this would give you something to look forward to.

-You could go work on an organic farm in another country. I know there are quite a few of these in Costa Rica. If you google "working organic farm" a bunch of options will come up. Some opportunities pay or at least give you a place to stay and feed you while you are working.

-Since you are a student, you can apply for a student work Visa to another country. I did this one summer during my undergrad career. I went to Ireland, ended up waiting tables, but had a lot of fun, made enough money to pay for beer and a rented room and got to see a side of the country that most tourists don't see.

-Go work as a camp counselor at a kid's camp this summer. There are a lot of paid summer camp counselor jobs at camps for special needs kids. I find that doing things for other people helps me grow as a person.
posted by tinaguppie at 9:15 PM on January 30, 2006

Just keep traveling. You have a TEFL, your health and nothing to tie you down- just go for it.

You will be a MUCH happier and healthier 30 year old if you do this now!
posted by fshgrl at 9:42 PM on January 30, 2006

FYI, the working on an organic farm thing is loosely organized under the acronym WWOOF (as in "willing workers on organic farms"), and most countries have directories of farms that accept WOOFers, broken down by what the farms' focus on & need in their volunteers. Typically room & board is given for about 4-6 hours/day of work--a good chance to learn another language.

Also check out Work Your Way Around the World, as well as The Backdoor Guide to Short-Term Job Adventures for further tips on what to do next & how to do it. I've never actually looked at Adventures Unlimited, but it looks promising too.
posted by soviet sleepover at 9:49 PM on January 30, 2006

Other people have good answers, so here's something else to think about: it's not clear from your description how long you've been back at school, and what I really mean is it's not clear whether you've gotten away from the intro/gen-ed type classes, and into the upper division classes for your major. There can be a world of difference between these two types of classes, and the upper division classes are likely to be much more interesting.

Also, as a less drastic step than leaving school altogether, you might consider thinking about other majors, if the one you are in bores you. What I thought I was going to do when I was a freshman/sophomore turned out to be entirely incorrect, and I ended up in a major that a liked quite a bit more.
posted by advil at 11:00 PM on January 30, 2006

I'm somewhat in your situation.

I took a year off after high school and did all sort of fun & enlightening things - classes, workshops, travel, etc. Had a great time (especially since 11 years of primary + secondary school was about to do me in) Did a year and a half of college but got sick of it eventually - I realized that I really did not function to my best in a school-like environment. For me, I learn best through experience and actually doing things.

After that one-and-a-half-year(s), I travelled with Up With People for a semester and had the time of my life. I felt the most alive I've ever been. It reinforced my belief in experiential education and really strengthened my views of what I should do with myself.

In two weeks I will start a part-time job in my chosen industry, with better pay than most fresh grads in my position. I'm also hoping to get a job travelling with UWP, but that I have to wait till April to know. If I don't get that job, I'll probably re-enrol in a different college, most likely in another country.

Point being, by taking that time off and doing things I actually enjoyed, I leant a lot more about myself and I know better where I'm best suited. If I spent all my time at that college I would have wasted my potential. (It wasn't completely bad, but I was very quickly outgrowing it)

I'm watching this thread - good luck to you!
posted by divabat at 5:23 AM on February 1, 2006