Lots of women wear head coverings - can I?
October 19, 2017 1:26 PM Subscribe
I am a white, non-religious woman in the US. Is it unprofessional or culturally appropriative for me to cover my hair with a scarf every day?
I have frizzy curly hair and I also have trichotillomania. I've got a great haircut but it's a lot of work, I have the trich under control but that's also a lot of work. The upshot is there have been quite a few days when I just don’t have time/can’t deal, so I throw on a kerchief/scarf and call it done. Like this, or this, or with a regular bandana and the ends tucked up.
Not having to style my hair is a relief and some of the scarves are pretty cute. But I worry that that wearing a scarf every day, or even most days, comes across as somehow weird or unprofessional--or worse, culturally appropriative.
I am white, in my mid-30’s, and I work at a large university in New England with a diverse population. Many women on campus wear head coverings (e.g. black women, Muslim women, Hindu women, Orthodox Jewish women, and probably some others). But I am not a member of any of those groups and I am sensitive to any implication that could cause offense. I also need to dress professionally for work and worry about being seen as dressing less professionally because of my hair choices. Additionally, I am somewhat active in the Jewish community and don’t want to give people the wrong impression (I am a liberal non-observant Jew, but I do go to Chabad for stuff).
Am I overthinking this?
Would this styling meet business casual in your white-collar office?
If you are a woman from a group that covers your hair, would you find it strange for someone like me to wear a scarf every day?
And if you don’t think it’s weird or appropriative, can you suggest some styles that would be both professional/adult/polished? (I did see this question, it just made me more worried since I am already doing this, like, every day.)
I have frizzy curly hair and I also have trichotillomania. I've got a great haircut but it's a lot of work, I have the trich under control but that's also a lot of work. The upshot is there have been quite a few days when I just don’t have time/can’t deal, so I throw on a kerchief/scarf and call it done. Like this, or this, or with a regular bandana and the ends tucked up.
Not having to style my hair is a relief and some of the scarves are pretty cute. But I worry that that wearing a scarf every day, or even most days, comes across as somehow weird or unprofessional--or worse, culturally appropriative.
I am white, in my mid-30’s, and I work at a large university in New England with a diverse population. Many women on campus wear head coverings (e.g. black women, Muslim women, Hindu women, Orthodox Jewish women, and probably some others). But I am not a member of any of those groups and I am sensitive to any implication that could cause offense. I also need to dress professionally for work and worry about being seen as dressing less professionally because of my hair choices. Additionally, I am somewhat active in the Jewish community and don’t want to give people the wrong impression (I am a liberal non-observant Jew, but I do go to Chabad for stuff).
Am I overthinking this?
Would this styling meet business casual in your white-collar office?
If you are a woman from a group that covers your hair, would you find it strange for someone like me to wear a scarf every day?
And if you don’t think it’s weird or appropriative, can you suggest some styles that would be both professional/adult/polished? (I did see this question, it just made me more worried since I am already doing this, like, every day.)
The styles you linked to are totally fine and things I see women of every religious and cultural persuasion wear all the time.
posted by cakelite at 1:32 PM on October 19, 2017 [21 favorites]
posted by cakelite at 1:32 PM on October 19, 2017 [21 favorites]
Best answer: To me (white female, age 60-plus, not-particularly-religious Presbyterian) the two examples you give say fashion or personal style to me, and not religious or cultural. The closest thing to a cultural vibe I get is a bit of Rosie the Riveter from the 1940s. As long as those are the styles you'd be wearing, I say go for it.
posted by easily confused at 1:32 PM on October 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
posted by easily confused at 1:32 PM on October 19, 2017 [12 favorites]
Best answer: As someone from a Muslim family in which many women wear a headscarf, I don't think any of them would find it to be misappropriation in any way.
However, I do think that you should be prepared to answer questions as to why you cover your head. Each of the examples of women you describe wear their headgear in different ways, so if you choose to wear your scarf in a particular way (other than the example pictures you linked to), there may be assumptions made as to your religious or political leanings.
As for professionalism, I work in a white collar office similar to yours where many women wear a headscarf. One girl in particular wears her hair up in a bun high on her head, but sports a wide headband in pretty colors to match her stylish outfits. I suspect she may have some condition that requires her to wear it, and to the best of my knowledge no one's ever viewed her as unprofessional. As long as it looks neat and blends in with the rest of your outfit - just as it would for Muslim or Hindu or Black women - you should be just fine!
posted by Everydayville at 1:34 PM on October 19, 2017 [11 favorites]
However, I do think that you should be prepared to answer questions as to why you cover your head. Each of the examples of women you describe wear their headgear in different ways, so if you choose to wear your scarf in a particular way (other than the example pictures you linked to), there may be assumptions made as to your religious or political leanings.
As for professionalism, I work in a white collar office similar to yours where many women wear a headscarf. One girl in particular wears her hair up in a bun high on her head, but sports a wide headband in pretty colors to match her stylish outfits. I suspect she may have some condition that requires her to wear it, and to the best of my knowledge no one's ever viewed her as unprofessional. As long as it looks neat and blends in with the rest of your outfit - just as it would for Muslim or Hindu or Black women - you should be just fine!
posted by Everydayville at 1:34 PM on October 19, 2017 [11 favorites]
I expected something different when clicking the links, I wouldn't even think of that as a headscarf/covering if I saw it, more a style of headband since it only covers a small portion of your hair. It's stylish and cute and fairly uncommon, especially among frizzy curly haired people just like a regular headband would be.
posted by colorblock sock at 1:41 PM on October 19, 2017 [24 favorites]
posted by colorblock sock at 1:41 PM on October 19, 2017 [24 favorites]
I think you might get some people assuming that you are more observant than you are (I'm pretty WASP-y but I used to get approached by Chabad folks on days when I happened to be unusually modestly dressed in the Jewish-ish neighborhood I used to live in).
Beyond that, you're totally overthinking. Yeah, some people will interpret your scarf as being a little unprofessional, but they could just as easily think your hair looked unprofessional. I have spent plenty of time at New England universities and I don't see anyone there blinking one single eyelash at this. Actually one of my (white, not sure of her religion) professors used to often wear head scarves (I think because of some kind of medical hair loss).
I guess I didn't address appropriation, but I'm probably not the right person to address it anyway!
posted by mskyle at 1:41 PM on October 19, 2017
Beyond that, you're totally overthinking. Yeah, some people will interpret your scarf as being a little unprofessional, but they could just as easily think your hair looked unprofessional. I have spent plenty of time at New England universities and I don't see anyone there blinking one single eyelash at this. Actually one of my (white, not sure of her religion) professors used to often wear head scarves (I think because of some kind of medical hair loss).
I guess I didn't address appropriation, but I'm probably not the right person to address it anyway!
posted by mskyle at 1:41 PM on October 19, 2017
Best answer: (e.g. black women, Muslim women, Hindu women, Orthodox Jewish women, and probably some others).
So as you note with this list of many and varied groups of women, the mere act of covering one's head/hair with a piece of fabric is by itself not a culturally specific practice. you have to do it in much more particular ways to risk appropriating anything. this is very much like a man asking if it's ok for him to wear a fedora because Catholic bishops wear mitres and Jewish men wear yarmulkes sometimes. except that I have never seen a man ask such a question. and somehow doubt I ever will.
I agree that it can be unwise or offensive to wear garments with specific symbolic value you don't want to express or, at least, be mistaken for expressing, or that does not properly belong to you. If you cover your hair with a scarf purchased from the same sorts of places you get other clothes, there will be no such symbolic value attached to it.
It is possible that people will think you are more conservative or religious than you are, but I don't think it's a huge concern and if they did it would be their potential offense, not yours. it should not cause anyone to treat you differently than they do now. I am not currently a boss in a professional office but I have been one, and I would not say a word about anybody's hairstyle or headcoverings under any circumstances whatsoever. top hats excepted. not all bosses are as great as me, but they all should be.
posted by queenofbithynia at 1:47 PM on October 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
So as you note with this list of many and varied groups of women, the mere act of covering one's head/hair with a piece of fabric is by itself not a culturally specific practice. you have to do it in much more particular ways to risk appropriating anything. this is very much like a man asking if it's ok for him to wear a fedora because Catholic bishops wear mitres and Jewish men wear yarmulkes sometimes. except that I have never seen a man ask such a question. and somehow doubt I ever will.
I agree that it can be unwise or offensive to wear garments with specific symbolic value you don't want to express or, at least, be mistaken for expressing, or that does not properly belong to you. If you cover your hair with a scarf purchased from the same sorts of places you get other clothes, there will be no such symbolic value attached to it.
It is possible that people will think you are more conservative or religious than you are, but I don't think it's a huge concern and if they did it would be their potential offense, not yours. it should not cause anyone to treat you differently than they do now. I am not currently a boss in a professional office but I have been one, and I would not say a word about anybody's hairstyle or headcoverings under any circumstances whatsoever. top hats excepted. not all bosses are as great as me, but they all should be.
posted by queenofbithynia at 1:47 PM on October 19, 2017 [6 favorites]
I cover my head for both fashion and religious reasons but not its not something I have to do everyday. No one has said anything to me about cultural appropriation when I do this for fashion and I'm a blindingly white woman. As long as you're not wearing a hijab or gele, you're pretty fine. Hair covering is rather universal. (My secret - even if it's obvious that I'm covering for fashion, most men leave me alone when I'm out and about, I love it)
As for the style, it depends on how conservative your office is. Mine is super conservative, and I'd have to wear a fancy turban style at my place of work. If your office is more relaxed, then those 2 pictures are fine
posted by Attackpanda at 1:48 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
As for the style, it depends on how conservative your office is. Mine is super conservative, and I'd have to wear a fancy turban style at my place of work. If your office is more relaxed, then those 2 pictures are fine
posted by Attackpanda at 1:48 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: When I think "religious head cover," I think of one which covers all or almost all the hair. The examples you gave don't and the religious angle or association wouldn't even pop into my head. I'd view the scarf the same was as a guy wearing a baseball cap or a hat. It just looks like a stylistic choice.
For the professionalism thing, it depends on your workplace. For a highly formal place (where men would wear a suit and tie every day), it may raise eyebrows, just because highly formal wear tends to be very standardized and anything unusual sticks out. For almost all normal jobs / situations however, it's a cute accessory, like a necklace etc.
posted by bsdfish at 1:48 PM on October 19, 2017 [9 favorites]
For the professionalism thing, it depends on your workplace. For a highly formal place (where men would wear a suit and tie every day), it may raise eyebrows, just because highly formal wear tends to be very standardized and anything unusual sticks out. For almost all normal jobs / situations however, it's a cute accessory, like a necklace etc.
posted by bsdfish at 1:48 PM on October 19, 2017 [9 favorites]
My perspective is of limited value here but I'm a white mid 30s woman working in a large university and I've started wearing scarves styled similarly to your second link this week and one wide stretch velvet headband. (I have very curly hair and am growing out a side shave ). I wondered about the line between head covering and head band, I wouldn't wear a full kerchief cover up scarf at work (no matter for common they seemed on white women in convertables in 60s movies) A variety of colleagues have mentioned they like the scarves. I've had one Rosie the Riveter comment and my hindu housemate thinks they are cute.
I can't comment on presenting professionally at work because we all get away with looking like total freaks.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 1:53 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
I can't comment on presenting professionally at work because we all get away with looking like total freaks.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 1:53 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Failed to mention I'm in Australia not the US.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 1:54 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by Trivia Newton John at 1:54 PM on October 19, 2017
Looking at your links, I wouldn't even register those as covering your head. Those just read as fashion choices to me - lovely and perfectly appropriate for the office.
posted by FencingGal at 2:14 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by FencingGal at 2:14 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Gonna add to the consensus that it's about the style you're wearing, not the act of hair-covering itself. I just showed a Muslim friend of mine who is very sensitive to cultural appropriation (don't get her started on white women wearing henna) the styles you linked and even she thought they were perfectly fine.
posted by perplexion at 2:20 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by perplexion at 2:20 PM on October 19, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: As an Orthodox Jewish woman who often covers my hair, I would say go for it - more normalization of the practice makes it easier for other women to do so who want to. Especially since you're talking about wearing a scarf or bandanna and not aiming to take on a culturally- or religiously-specific headcovering.
One of the larger groups of women who wear headcoverings regularly, by the way, are women covering up hair loss from chemotherapy (and other medical treatments). More women wearing headscarves for fashion and/or comfort could make it a lot easier on them as well.
posted by Mchelly at 2:25 PM on October 19, 2017 [18 favorites]
One of the larger groups of women who wear headcoverings regularly, by the way, are women covering up hair loss from chemotherapy (and other medical treatments). More women wearing headscarves for fashion and/or comfort could make it a lot easier on them as well.
posted by Mchelly at 2:25 PM on October 19, 2017 [18 favorites]
Though as far as Additionally, I am somewhat active in the Jewish community and don’t want to give people the wrong impression (I am a liberal non-observant Jew, but I do go to Chabad for stuff) goes, it's very possible you will send the "wrong" impression at Chabad or in Orthodox circles -- some of them may assume you're letting them know you're married. Which you can decide whether or not you want to address.
posted by Mchelly at 2:29 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by Mchelly at 2:29 PM on October 19, 2017
The styles you linked to don't read religious or of a specific culture to me at all. I've worn both of those for fashionable purposes. My grandma, who was very stylish back in the day, used to wear the first one to her office job in the late 60s, early 70s. It's super cute.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:10 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 3:10 PM on October 19, 2017
AFAIK, women who wear scarfs for religious reasons normally try to cover as much of their hair as possible - that's sort of the point of if for them. These pictures absolutely read "fashion choice" to me.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 4:04 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 4:04 PM on October 19, 2017
Those look darling - you wear them well and look quite professional and stylish to my eyes.
I say go for it! (And I need to learn to tie scarves.)
posted by Space Kitty at 5:40 PM on October 19, 2017
I say go for it! (And I need to learn to tie scarves.)
posted by Space Kitty at 5:40 PM on October 19, 2017
I think you're fine just as long as you style your scarves differently than those covering their hair for religious purposes.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:40 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:40 PM on October 19, 2017
You can always claim that you are channelling your inner Jackie Kennedy.
But yeah, seems 100% fine for anything other than really formal
posted by Jacen at 6:55 PM on October 19, 2017
But yeah, seems 100% fine for anything other than really formal
posted by Jacen at 6:55 PM on October 19, 2017
The styles you linked read as headband more than head scarf. I also constantly wear pinup style bandanas (my Instagram is full of it.) it's absolutely clear that it's a secular fashion choice. Ymmv on work appropriateness.
posted by Crystalinne at 8:42 PM on October 19, 2017
posted by Crystalinne at 8:42 PM on October 19, 2017
Best answer: #1 especially strikes me as on the very casual side of business casual. I wouldn't wear it to my own (white-collar) office. But you're at a university, so, unless you're in development and spend a lot of time around more conservative older alums, it's probably okay.
I certainly wouldn't look at either of those looks and think you were covering your head for modesty reasons, but it's possible that if you were moving in a conservative religious context for whatever reason, some people in that particular context might possibly misinterpret it as your being more conservative than you are. That might be socially awkward, but it's not unethical.
posted by praemunire at 10:59 PM on October 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
I certainly wouldn't look at either of those looks and think you were covering your head for modesty reasons, but it's possible that if you were moving in a conservative religious context for whatever reason, some people in that particular context might possibly misinterpret it as your being more conservative than you are. That might be socially awkward, but it's not unethical.
posted by praemunire at 10:59 PM on October 19, 2017 [2 favorites]
If I saw a white woman wearing a scarf in that style, I'd think, "Liberal hippie," rather than, "Super religious."
posted by colfax at 12:38 AM on October 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by colfax at 12:38 AM on October 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Best answer: This is not appropriative in any way. White women wearing headscarves is not in fashion the way it was in the 60s and earlier, but it's not as if there isn't a long and robust precedent.
posted by desuetude at 7:02 AM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by desuetude at 7:02 AM on October 20, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: (I did see this question, it just made me more worried since I am already doing this, like, every day.)
Oh hey, that was me. :) So I've started wearing scarves and bandannas a lot more, and it has been 100% Not An Issue. I find that wearing a bandana low on my forehead comes across as a little too construction-worker/restaurant-back-of-house for me, and wearing a scarf low on my forehead makes me feel like I'm dressed up as a hijabi, but pushing it back so that a few finger-widths of hair shows in front makes it read as secular, feminine, and quirky in a way that I'm okay with.
One good piece of general advice I got a while back about cultural appropriation in fashion is that you can get a lot of mileage just out of asking yourself whether you feel like you're wearing a costume. There are definitely styles of headscarf I avoid just because they make me feel like I'm dressed up as a member of a different religion. Like, I think plain solid-color headscarves look weirdly frum on me so I don't use them, even if I'd be "allowed" to or nobody would mind or whatever. But if I swap in a paisley-print bandanna with the same long skirt and top, I see "was in high school in the 90s" in the mirror instead of "nice Orthodox lady," and that feels like me and not like I'm playing dressup.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:03 AM on October 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Oh hey, that was me. :) So I've started wearing scarves and bandannas a lot more, and it has been 100% Not An Issue. I find that wearing a bandana low on my forehead comes across as a little too construction-worker/restaurant-back-of-house for me, and wearing a scarf low on my forehead makes me feel like I'm dressed up as a hijabi, but pushing it back so that a few finger-widths of hair shows in front makes it read as secular, feminine, and quirky in a way that I'm okay with.
One good piece of general advice I got a while back about cultural appropriation in fashion is that you can get a lot of mileage just out of asking yourself whether you feel like you're wearing a costume. There are definitely styles of headscarf I avoid just because they make me feel like I'm dressed up as a member of a different religion. Like, I think plain solid-color headscarves look weirdly frum on me so I don't use them, even if I'd be "allowed" to or nobody would mind or whatever. But if I swap in a paisley-print bandanna with the same long skirt and top, I see "was in high school in the 90s" in the mirror instead of "nice Orthodox lady," and that feels like me and not like I'm playing dressup.
posted by nebulawindphone at 8:03 AM on October 20, 2017 [4 favorites]
Response by poster: What I'm hearing is that the particular styling matters. I imagine it's also about the whole outfit and what the overall effect is.
And yeah, so I realize now that what I was actually worried about was looking frum, because I dress quite conservatively. But it sounds like if I show a few curls in the front, go for more headband than full coverage, avoid solid colors, and pick the clothes right that should be pretty obviously more uh, "playful" or "whimsical."
My office is on the academic side but I can see how "whimsical" might not work in corporate. It should be okay at my job.
Thanks for the reality check.
posted by Seven Windows at 9:03 AM on October 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
And yeah, so I realize now that what I was actually worried about was looking frum, because I dress quite conservatively. But it sounds like if I show a few curls in the front, go for more headband than full coverage, avoid solid colors, and pick the clothes right that should be pretty obviously more uh, "playful" or "whimsical."
My office is on the academic side but I can see how "whimsical" might not work in corporate. It should be okay at my job.
Thanks for the reality check.
posted by Seven Windows at 9:03 AM on October 20, 2017 [2 favorites]
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