Poemfilter - Poem about how your loved ones are plotting against you

September 26, 2017 12:34 PM

Seen not super-long ago on the blue; trying to track down a fairly well-know poem about how your loved ones conspire against you while you sleep. Sadly that's all I can recall, except the first line may have been something like "we wish to inform you" (searching for which yields naught but the Gourevitch book). Ideas?
posted by aspersioncast to Writing & Language (3 answers total)

Best answer: We Who Are Your Closest Friends by Phillip Lopate

we who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting
as a group
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift

your analyst is
in on it
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us

in announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves
but since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make
unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your
disastrous personality

then for the good of the collective
posted by nicebookrack at 12:37 PM on September 26, 2017 [76 favorites]

Response by poster: You're the best!
posted by aspersioncast at 1:12 PM on September 26, 2017

I first read this poem in the wonderful book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott.
posted by nicebookrack at 1:48 PM on September 26, 2017 [5 favorites]