"Can I count on you to be free of respiratory infections?"
July 28, 2017 10:18 AM   Subscribe

I have a cold. Help me decide whether or not to visit my 94 year old Grandmother this coming Tuesday.

Timeline of events so far.

Saturday July 22--bought plane tickets to visit 94 year old Grandmother.
Tuesday July 24th AM--Grandma sends e-mail saying she is excited to see me. Last sentence reads, "Can I count on you to be free of respiratory infections?"
Tuesday July 24th PM- I feel a cold coming on.
Tuesday July 24th--Friday Jul 28th (today)--I have been sick in bed with an upper respiratory infection.

Of. course.

So, friends, I'm supposed to head off to see her in T-minus 4 days and I am agonizing over what the best thing to do is. How will I know if I am indeed "free of a respiratory infection?" Even if I feel fit as a fiddle, is going still a terrible, no good, very bad idea?

I can't find any sort of consensus on the contagious period of the common cold. Some sources say up to two weeks, some sources say four days after symptoms begin. The CDC doesn't even bother to comment on the subject. They only say that most people recover in 7 to 10 days. I even called them. I think this is because it all just depends on a variety of different factors. The virus, the person, the weather, whether or not mercury is in retrograde etc.

Based on googling, common sense, a microbiology 101 course I took earlier this year, and a general gut feeling, I don't believe a person is no longer contagious once symptoms begin. Numerous friends have told me this in the past few days with frightening confidence so this seems to be a prevailing belief.

I shouldn't risk it, right? Any virologists out there?
posted by unicornologist to Health & Fitness (22 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Oh, no, you shouldn't.
posted by Miko at 10:40 AM on July 28, 2017 [9 favorites]


Not a virologist, but I say don't risk it. For the elderly, survival can literally depend upon the simple "luck" of not contracting a bacterial or viral ailment.
posted by slkinsey at 10:41 AM on July 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


No, do not risk it.
posted by avocado_of_merriment at 10:43 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


Nope. Don't go.
posted by PorcineWithMe at 10:47 AM on July 28, 2017


The symptoms are how, for the most part, diseases like this spread you are right you are still contagious, in many cases that is when the virus/infection will be at it's highest level in your body. While you can still have residual symptoms after on the tail end of the infection after your body has fought the virus/infection it's not something I'd want to risk in this case.
posted by wwax at 10:52 AM on July 28, 2017


Shouldn't you ask her? Maybe if you (or both of you) wear a mask, there's lot of handwashing, minimal hugging, etc. she'll feel like the risk is acceptably mitigated?

She knows herself and her health better than you do.
posted by mskyle at 10:54 AM on July 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


As someone who's had a relative in the hospital--
just be an adult and do not visit in person at this time.
Don't ask her, don't make this about you.

Staying home is the only way to guarantee that you will not infect your Grandma.
posted by calgirl at 10:56 AM on July 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


You could ask her, have her ask her doctor, and you ask your doctor. Having said that, with my immunocompromised family I err on the side of extreme caution and I would cancel the trip, but maybe do a skype session so you can "hang out" for a bit.
posted by radiopaste at 10:57 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


Look at it this way: there are several branching paths. 1. You don't go, and reschedule your visit. (I don't know how easy this is.) Risk - you are out money. 2. You call your Grandma and explain the situation and abide by her wishes. Risk - puts your Grandma in an awkward situation - especially after her note which is pretty clear. 3. You go. Going means you could potentially infect her. Given the catastrophic risk to her of infecting her, and the guilt and remorse you would feel if you did (presumably), I personally wouldn't go, and would try to reschedule for the next couple of weeks. (My parents just had to make this calculation on visiting my 90-year-old grandma. They did not go.)
posted by john_snow at 11:00 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


As an immunocompromised person who ended up in the ER with a simple virus, I say don't go. Since she brought up the problem with you, she should understand.

Can you Skype with her?
posted by FencingGal at 11:00 AM on July 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


If she gets sick for any other reason when or after you visit, you might still blame yourself.
posted by meijusa at 11:08 AM on July 28, 2017 [9 favorites]


1. You don't go, and reschedule your visit. (I don't know how easy this is.) Risk - you are out money.

To me the risk here is not so much about the money but about the fact that there's a nonzero chance that the grandmother (being 94) will die anyway in the interim, and maybe the grandmother would really like to see the OP before she dies, which is why I would say she should maybe have some input.

I mean, if you can reschedule within a few weeks, then absolutely don't go. But if you're otherwise not going to be able to see her for months, I think it's more complicated.
posted by mskyle at 11:40 AM on July 28, 2017 [5 favorites]


Postpone the trip. Give your grandma the gift of relief that she could, in fact, count on you not to expose her.
posted by dywypi at 11:53 AM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]


You have a respiratory infection, she literally asked you to be free of respiratory infections, and you're asking if you should go?
posted by Jairus at 11:59 AM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


You have a respiratory infection, she literally asked you to be free of respiratory infections, and you're asking if you should go?

I think the question is whether he should go if he does not have symptoms.

"I have a cold, and I don't want to risk infecting you, so I'm not going to be able to come as scheduled. I will reschedule for XXX." In the unlikely case that she starts to ask if you might be recovered in time, suggests using a mask, etc., then you could ask her to ask her doctor.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:27 PM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]


Response by poster: Jairus, I see your point. To me, the question is whether or not you can be sure if you're free of a respiratory infection after recently having one. If I feel fine, how can I be sure I'm not still contagious? The overwhelming consensus of these lovely people is that I can't be sure and therefore I shouldn't risk it.
posted by unicornologist at 12:30 PM on July 28, 2017


You could be contagious for weeks after symptoms are gone, depending on what the pathogen is. And this was bad enough to knock you off your feet. Email/call granny and tell her the bad news. Reschedule.
posted by zennie at 12:37 PM on July 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


If this was "I had a runny nose and sniffles for one day but I felt fine for the three days after" there would be room for debate.

If you have literally been sick in bed for four days, then the answer is NO WAY. You may be able to get the airline to change your ticket for a reduced fee. This is a borderline case since you are not literally too sick to travel, but your doctor may be able to write you a letter that you were unable to travel for medical reasons (this is technically true, it's just that it's your grandmother's medical reasons, but they don't have to specify that in the letter).

My daughter once put two elderly friends/relatives in the hospital because of a virus she contracted on the way to visiting them. She was just starting to get sick when we saw them, so it wasn't so clear cut - but we certainly felt terrible in the aftermath.
posted by telepanda at 1:48 PM on July 28, 2017 [2 favorites]


From MedicineNet
"For colds, most individuals become contagious about a day before cold symptoms develop and remain contagious for about five to seven days. Some children may pass the flu viruses for longer than seven days (occasionally for two weeks)."

You may very well still be contagious next Tuesday. Please reschedule.
posted by SLC Mom at 2:33 PM on July 28, 2017


Please also consider the people next to you on the plane-- I flew to a family wedding next to a woman who was obviously terribly sick, and I wound up spending the reception shaking with fever back at the hotel room, and worried sick about who I might have infected among the guests.
posted by Hypatia at 3:21 PM on July 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


We live in the age of Skype. Reschedule and have peace of mind.
posted by TrishaU at 10:33 PM on July 28, 2017


As my 92 year-old mom's caregiver, I'm asking you not to go. It is frightening how susceptible the very elderly are to any kind of bug, and it seems most people don't realize that.

Your grandma needs to be not sick more than she needs to see you. If you ask her if it's okay to come anyway, she might feel guilty about wasting your time and money and okay your visit even when she doesn't want you there. When you beg off, she will be relieved that you took her caution seriously. She'll think even more highly of you for doing so. Her cargiver(s) will, too.
posted by Lunaloon at 9:37 AM on July 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


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