So...when do I get to do this whole "pursue my dreams" thing?
July 18, 2017 10:17 PM   Subscribe

I'm 29, 30 next year. Female, POC. I've had dreams of becoming a television writer since my teens, and, right now, I'm in LA working in the industry at an executive level (but I work on the business/marketing side of things, not the creative). Been here almost 4 years. I'm super-super adjacent to what I *want* to do (write). But I'm almost too good at the adjacent position, and I'm scared that I'll never get to pursue the real dream.

Frankly, I can't stand my job. I'm burned out, uninspired. Ready to do something else.

I have dreams of leaving to do something part-time/remote/low-stress and *really* work on my writing -- have a few projects under my belt, but nothing really substantial. I wonder if leaving is a cop-out and if I'm foolishly giving up a prestigious title/salary to pursue something with little chance of any return. And hey, working in the industry in this position is better than not working in it at all, right? I think? (The networking! everyone says)

After a breakup that's thrown into sharp relief the things I'm unhappy about in my life, I'm trying to brainstorm alternatives to mindlessly working alongside "the dream" for the next 30 years. Should I maybe try to go freelance? Do the biz dev/marketing thing as a consultant while I work on writing?

Or maybe I'm just thinking about this the wrong way.

Basically, I don't know if I'm whining and should just (stay miserable and) keep the job, or try to fit my career/job prospects around writing.

Any ideas on the following: day jobs for writers; letting go of attachment to titles and salaries and prestige; "making it" as a screenwriter -- are welcome!

Thank you!
posted by themaskedwonder to Work & Money (19 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
Yes, do it. Do it. Quit. Work on that dream and do what you love.

I did this a year ago (also after a devastating break up; I remember being like "Oh, so we're done?" And literally my very next thought was "I'm quitting my job."). No regrets, best decision ever. I'm broke and that's stressful, but I'm so happy. I work so much harder.

You're not losing the experience you have; and a perfectly valid reason to apply for a similar (or totally different) job in 2 years is "I tried to write full-time and it turns out that life isn't for me." It's hard, and I definitely went into it with some more experiences and resources than it sounds like you have, but that just gave me the confidence to do it. I'm still starting from the beginning in a lot of ways, too.

But! You'd be surprised at how much work will just come at you once you're like "yeah I'm a full-time writer."

I've had a vague plan/goals, that helps. Things like "I will just work all the damn time on anything that will pay me for the next year." Now I'm on to, "Ok, I don't love a lot of what I've been doing, what DO I love?" And simultaneously figuring out more of an artistic direction/purpose, along with making money. That's super challenging. It's insane. It's so hard. It's so satisfying. Do it!
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:36 PM on July 18, 2017 [3 favorites]


I will tone that down a bit and say, if you're not writing currently and happy with what you're producing, get to that point first. And if that seems too hard to do with a job, then it might not be the path for you.

The realities of needing money to live and the difficulties of doing it as a single person are also not nothing and that will hit you hard.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 10:43 PM on July 18, 2017 [6 favorites]


If writing was important enough to you, you'd be doing it already. Stick with what's bringing in money now.
posted by paulcole at 10:47 PM on July 18, 2017 [20 favorites]


can you have a "trial run" of sorts? take time off from work and see if you can hit a writing goal everyday. "i will write _ pages"... that sounds antithetical to a creative endeavour, but the most successful artists i've seen are just consistently working. after working in artist management for years, i can confidently say that they would do stupid things for financial stability.

so take stock of that and then make time for your creative work in your daily schedule now. don't wait for "inspiration"!

additionally: if you have the bandwidth to have a biz dev/mkting consultancy on the side... see if you can do more with that. running a business has been immensely fulfilling for my creative side, oddly enough.
posted by raihan_ at 11:04 PM on July 18, 2017 [4 favorites]


It's tempting to think if quitting your job as an"escape hatch" from a situation that makes you unhappy. It sounds like you are quite unhappy where you are.

That said... it also sounds like you have the bones of a really good situation - you're being paid to work "adjacent" to a field you love, and you're excellent at what you do. Yet, you say you want to quit? In my experience with friends going through something similar, quitting almost always works out well in the long run, but it gets a LOT worse before it gets better. This is because the issue was rarely the job. Quitting and using the escape hatch feels awesome for the first few days, then quickly made people feel much much worse. Bright side: having no job or income forced them to work through whatever issues they had that needed to be resolved, so that they could once again find a job/income. Hidden bright side: lots of people find ways to work through their issues and even find their next gig without putting themselves in debt, creating unnecessary financial anxiety, and otherwise taking another step toward chaos.

Caveat: none of my friends (except for one) work in the industry.

IMHO: save up 6 months of living expenses + $500/month therapy while at your current job. Use the 2 months before you quit to build up your network, and start seeing a therapist who can help you through this transition. Time your last day to end on a high note, so that you leave your colleagues wanting more and happy to give you a good recommendation in the future. Use the 4 months after you quit to build your business. If you're not covering your expenses by then, call your old coworkers and use the last 2 months of emergency expenses to find a new gig.
posted by samthemander at 11:46 PM on July 18, 2017 [3 favorites]


Best answer: Don't leave. Use your position to leverage creative partners. You are not a self-starting creator or you'd be doing it yourself, that's fine- you are a writer. But to create you, as a writer, need a crew. Partners or creative buddies to bring your writing to life. Right now you have access to creatives with money who know and like you, do not throw that away. If you quit and "concentrate on our writing" they won't even remember you in 18 months. Start pitching your stuff to people as well as you can withing the bounds of your job- if you can't do it at work then make friends with candidates and do it when you're hanging out socially. "That seems soooo mercenary" you say but you're in LA you know the score. Aggressively pursue collaborative projects or bust.
posted by fshgrl at 12:04 AM on July 19, 2017 [6 favorites]


Best answer: If you PM me, I'll put you in touch with a friend, a fellow POC, who has 'made it' to a degree. He could be a good mentor for you.
posted by parmanparman at 1:18 AM on July 19, 2017 [3 favorites]


Best answer: It sounds like you hate your job, so you should start looking for a new one that is in the industry but is more palatable. Don’t just quit completely. Start writing and polishing a few scripts once you’re feeling less burnt out and use your network connections to try and get those scripts into the right hands.

I say this as the daughter of an artist (although he’s not a screenwriter): it’s easy to think that being a starving artist will be a temporary, romantic condition, but art is long. The only sustainable way to make art long-term is to find a way to have a reliable income while you labor along in obscurity, refining your craft and collecting rejection slips. Be prepared for this to take years, rather than months. Every artist I know who made it full-time is either independently wealthy or they worked side-jobs for years to sustain themselves through the lean years.

If you can keep a day-job in the industry while you're working one scripts at home, you'll have a huge advantage over the average person who is writing screenplays at home and is working in a restaurant in order to pay the bills.
posted by colfax at 2:13 AM on July 19, 2017 [4 favorites]


Best answer: If writing was important enough to you, you'd be doing it already.

As someone who is also in a demanding and exhausting career and believed this horseshit for far too long: this is horseshit.

Is it possible for you to move full-time jobs? It might seem like the issue is your overall career when really it's your specific workplace.
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:32 AM on July 19, 2017 [10 favorites]


Best answer: So you have a job that will provide you the connections you need and the food/shelter you require, and your free time just opened up? Why not use the time you would have put into a relationship into writing? Pursue that for a few months to a year, and see what happens.

You need an income, connections, talent, desire, and time to get established as a writer. Voluntarily giving up two of those puts you further from your goal. Hold on to them, and get writing on the side first. If your current position becomes unbearable, look for a lateral move so you can stay connected and supported (although I'd worry about the novelty distracting you).

I hope it works out for you.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 3:51 AM on July 19, 2017 [7 favorites]


Have you done or are you applying to stuff like the Disney Writing Program? Two friends of mine completed to it great success (aka employment on shows). Given that studios are at least paying lip service to diversity, in particular seek out workshop/fellowship opportunities for POC. Then see if you're accepted and it pays enough for you to ditch the current job.
posted by TwoStride at 5:06 AM on July 19, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I am a bit older than you and in the same position as you except in a different country and I seriously envy your situation since you seem to be a conversation away from making the right contacts. How much asking around have you done? Are you writing? I write a shitload so I have something to show people but no opportunities. It seems like it might be the other way round for you? Get writing, get things completed. Write then 'pimp' yourself out so to speak.

Stick with what's bringing in money now.

This is so fucking depressing. This is presently what is killing me inside. I've done this for most of my life and guess what - wasted dreams and unhappiness. Do not do this, OP. You get one life.
posted by ihaveyourfoot at 5:07 AM on July 19, 2017 [1 favorite]


If writing was important enough to you, you'd be doing it already.

As someone who is also in a demanding and exhausting career and believed this horseshit for far too long: this is horseshit.


A thousand times yes. That is horseshit. Also, it sounds like you are writing, just not full time.

A lot here depends on your tolerance for risk, whether you really are a person who can deal with job insecurity and lack of health insurance, which for some people could sap energy as much as a full-time job.

I am also a writer with a day job, though I'm a lot older than you. I think it's important to remember that working in the job you have for, say, the next five years does not mean you are giving up on your dream. With some luck, you have many years ahead of you. So if that job is the best place for you right now, don't think of it as abandoning what you really want. As long as you are putting whatever time you have into working on your writing, you are moving forward and making progress. Sometimes I work on my novel for ten minutes a day. I've finished fifty pages that way. (The ten minutes is not just because of lack of time - I sometimes have to work in tiny increments just because I have so much anxiety about writing.)

But if that sounds horrific to you, maybe you are a person who would be better off ditching the job security to spend more time on your writing. If so, get into the nitty gritty details of how you can make the finances work. Read Charles Long's How to Survive Without A Salary.
posted by FencingGal at 7:08 AM on July 19, 2017 [1 favorite]


Also, as someone who was diagnosed with cancer last year, I can't tell you how grateful I was for the health insurance that my day job provided. My treatment ran over $25,000 a month for eight months, not counting hospitalization when I was diagnosed. Now I'm facing lifetime maintenance chemotherapy at $16,000 a month. So if you do decide to quit and pursue your dreams, make sure you've got health insurance.
posted by FencingGal at 8:35 AM on July 19, 2017 [2 favorites]


Cash money. You need some. Set a savings goal to smooth out the transition, meet it, and then quit.
posted by praemunire at 8:48 AM on July 19, 2017 [1 favorite]


The realities of needing money to live and the difficulties of doing it as a single person are also not nothing and that will hit you hard.

Seconding this, while waving sparklers.

I too wanted to try going freelance with the writing. But for me, the amount of money anxiety I have when I don't have a steady income proved to be a distraction and an obstacle that prevented me from doing the very writing I was supposed to be doing to earn my living.

But - your having a well-paying job gives you an advantage to start to merge into the next lane. Start writing stuff, but...keep the job. Write at night, or on the weekend. Start a blog. Something. That way, the stress of figuring out what the fuck it is you're trying to say will not be compounded by the stress of "I am down to only ten bucks and one package of ramen and I need to stretch that over three days".

Becoming a full-on writer-and-nothing-else writer will take you a long, long time. You will need to eat during that time. Your current job - or at least A job - is something to hang on to for as long as you can make it work doing both.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:52 AM on July 19, 2017 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: Guys, I don't really believe in him (Him?), but God is silly.

I just found out (as in, 5 minutes ago) that an *amazing* creative job I thought was out of my reach (despite the three interviews I've already completed) is seriously considering me for employment. In the industry. Even closer to where I want to be.

You're all right that I need to buckle down and focus on the writing, in addition to the work. Honestly, potentially holding a job that I don't despise - and that could potentially yield more, better connections - would really be a boon to my career.

Even if this job falls through (and it well might) I heard you loud and clear with the "write more!" instruction. The fact that I'm even in the running for this job gives me a lot of hope for the future regardless.

This is why I love MeFi. Thank you, thank you!
posted by themaskedwonder at 5:16 PM on July 19, 2017 [9 favorites]


Yay! Good luck!
posted by fshgrl at 10:34 PM on July 19, 2017


That's fantastic news! I really hope you get the job!
posted by colfax at 3:05 AM on July 20, 2017


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