First time renting: queer, disabled edition
July 7, 2017 2:39 PM   Subscribe

I am starting graduate school at the end of August. My partner and I have previously lived only in dorms, and once rented a room from a family for a year. Now we're looking to rent our first apartment, and are not sure how to best present ourselves in order to increase our chance of being rented to.

The details:

1) I will be receiving a 20k a year stipend, guaranteed for the next four years. My partner does not currently have a job, and is looking for one, but we don't know if they will be able to find one before we want to move in. I currently have $3k in savings.
2) We are both female-presenting.
3) I walk with a cane.
4) We will be looking in Milwaukee and the surrounding area.

Based on the location and other factors, is discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or disability likely? Do landlords tend to view disability as a "red flag"? I am able to walk without a cane (and not visibly limp or anything like that) for short periods of time, so if that's likely to make a landlord think I'm less reliable or whatever I can go without it while visiting/viewing. Or could it actually be a positive because they'll assume I'm less rowdy and won't be throwing tons of parties (true, even if still based on a stereotype)?

For sexual orientation, I would just omit the fact that we're partners and not run the risk of discrimination, but I'm worried about my partner's income situation. Would a roommate with no income be a red flag? And are couples treated differently? Basically, would a queer couple where one person has reliable income and the other doesn't be more or less likely to be rented to than roommates in the same situation? (Slightly jokey but also slightly serious: would we be considered less of a risk if we were married? Because we've been together for 6 years and do want to get married, we just haven't gotten around to it.) Or does the stability of my financial situation (guaranteed for the next 4 years unless I drop out, which I assume would be considered more stable than a job you can be fired from at any time for any reason) mean it's not really going to be a big deal either way?

I know these seem pretty nitpicky and I'm probably overthinking it, but I want to give us the best chance we have to get a decent apartment to live in for the next 4 years.

(Also, if it makes any difference, we can put off moving for some time if we need to--we're currently living with my partner's family and they're fine with us staying for a while, but I wouldn't want to try and move in the middle of the school year.)
posted by brook horse to Work & Money (18 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Response by poster: Shoot, forgot one bit: would it change the situation at all if I referred to my partner as my caretaker? (Which they are; they complete a lot of tasks I can't do myself because of my disability.)
posted by brook horse at 2:40 PM on July 7, 2017


Best answer: I can't speak to Milwaukee specifically, but given that sexual orientation and disability status are legally protected categories, you may have luck with larger apartment complexes, which are also more likely to have ADA compliant entrances, showers, etc, than some guy who converted a fixer-upper into a three-unit building. (Not to say that fixer-upper guy will definitely discriminate, but an actual management company almost certainly will not.) I don't know that the "caretaker" designation would make any difference. Padmapper shows a bunch of large complexes scattered throughout the city, and you can filter by other search criteria.

In my experience as a renter since 2009, landlords are much more concerned about your income status/ability to make rent than any other criterion. Based on your income (assuming that is a post-tax or tax-free stipend) and the usual 33% rule, you should be looking for a place that costs about $500-550/month. You may be able to swing up to $600 with a good reference from the family you rented from. Any more would likely require a cosigner. Your savings don't count in this calculation, because they are not cash flow. Some types of leases are "joint and several" where each tenant must be able to independently cover rent -- you do not want one of those. (I had a lease like this for 3.5 years in NYC; I don't know if they exist elsewhere.)

Good luck with the apartment search and move!
posted by basalganglia at 5:06 PM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


Just to frame my comments: I know a lot about landlords, but nothing about the market, jurisdiction or even country you're looking at. So, I think this is probably good general advice to start with, but I'd definitely still seek out more specific stuff from people who know the area.

Most landlords care about money, first, last and everywhere in between. It is possible that you might face some degree of discrimination based upon disability and sexuality, but I think that's probably a fairly limited probability taking the market as a whole. If you look like a good financial bet, the majority of landlords will want you as tenants. And you have to ask yourself if you really want to spend years of your life paying money to and potentially having to deal with someone who would discriminate against you because of who you are.

I would strongly advise against misrepresenting your situation or yourselves. Part of this is about getting an apartment (see below), but part of it is about how you'll feel about being somewhere under false pretences, and having to keep up that lie when you ring your maintenance person to get work done, etc. I don't think it will help you to lie, and I don't think it will help you to feel relaxed in your home.

So what's a good financial bet?

1) Enough income to cover the rent. Different markets will estimate this differently, but essentially what they're going to want is for your household income to be some multiple of the rent. Having paperwork that shows your income is guaranteed is an excellent idea.
If your partner can find work before you're trying to rent, that's obviously going to help, but I'd be inclined to suggest using your very reliable income as the basis for working out what you can afford, because landlords are likely to be (understandably) leery of basing their expectations on work that doesn't look well established and stable.

2) Good credit rating. This is the main reason you don't want to lie about your relationship status. Although I can't speak for your location, I would expect landlords to want to carry out a credit check once the let is agreed. You don't want that showing up something different to what you've said your situation is.

3) Failing (or in addition to) the above, either a large security deposit, or a guarantor. Do you have anyone close to you, who is wealthy and knows you're (a) not going to skip on the rent and (b) going to keep the place in good condition? A good guarantor, or a big chunk of money in deposit, will usually satisfy a landlord about most things, in my experience. However, given that I don't know whether you have legal protections where you are to prevent your landlord pocketing any deposit and making up spurious deductions to justify it (which was standard practice in England until we got proper deposit protection rules), I'm going to recommend a guarantor for preference.

I'd also suggest trying to work through a reputable rental real estate agent, particularly if you can find one that manages properties and has a good reputation for doing that well. I've rented at least a dozen places, and I've worked with hundreds of tenants, and my experience is very strongly that landlord managed properties tend to be the ones that give rise to most problems. That's not to say that there aren't plenty of useless or dodgy agents in the world, but it's usually easier to work out who the decent agents are, and go with them.

I wish you luck, but don't think you'll need too much luck to do well. The renting process can definitely be stressful, but since you've got time to shop, I'm confident that you'll get somewhere decent. Take your time, but be decisive when you see something you want. Yes, it is possible that something better might be around the corner, but if you see somewhere good, it's usually best to grab it.
posted by howfar at 5:07 PM on July 7, 2017


I basically agree with what has been said upthread. I am a newish landlord, and my primary concern is finding tenants who can and will pay the rent amount agreed on in the lease by the first of every month. After the financial, my secondary concern is that the prospective tenant(s) seem contactable, non-flaky, reasonably emotionally stable, reasonably quiet and responsible, and that they are potentially interested in a longer lease. I am not at all interested in discriminating on sexual orientation or disability (which I believe is illegal in any case).

If I were you, I'd be much less concerned about the presentation of sexuality and disability and much more concerned about your financials. I wouldn't rent either of my apartments to anyone making 20k - the numbers don't work out and I would have serious concerns about your ability to afford the apartment on your stipend. Also, if there are going to be two people living in either of my apartments (a couple or roommates), *each* one is on the hook for paying the full rent if the other doesn't pay (joint and several liability), and thus *each* one has to go through my application process, pass the credit check and income check, etc. Perhaps the rental market is much cheaper in Milwaukee than here, but if not, you may have trouble finding someone willing to rent either solely to you, or to you and your partner, based purely on financials. I'd try to figure out what price range, if any, you are likely to be approved for based on your stipend income, and whether your currently-non-earning partner is likely to be approved as a tenant at all. Then I'd focus your search on that price bracket and I'd have your partner focus on getting a job.
posted by ClaireBear at 6:58 PM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


For people such as ClaireBear who use a joint & several liability, does it make a difference if the two tenants are married to each other and thus a single economic unit?
posted by metahawk at 7:07 PM on July 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Let my apologize, because I'm getting ready to tell you more than you likely actually wanted to know about fair housing. (Short version: you're right to be concerned but you can't let that stop you from looking for a place to live).

First:

I can't speak to Milwaukee specifically, but given that sexual orientation and disability status are legally protected categories


Everyone say it with me and tell their friends: sexual orientation is NOT a federally protected category. There are many states (including the one I live in, bonus) where I can be fired or refused a place to live because of being legally married to my wife, and I will have no legal recourse. Municipalities and states can put in their own laws, but especially when it comes to housing, the laws are often put in in the hopes that the threat will prevent discrimination, because it's on the city/state to enforce those laws and they do not get funding from HUD to do so. (Y'all can see a map of where there are state fair housing laws concerning sexual orientation here.) You can see the basics of the federal Fair Housing Act here. Disability IS a federally protected class, and specifically, if you click on point 1 in that link ("Get basic facts"), you'll see that disability has extra protections, but they mostly have to do with accommodations, both in accessibility and issues like service animals. Family status covers children and pregnant women, not caregivers.

Now, luckily, it looks like Wisconsin is one of the states that does have fair housing laws based on sexual orientation. This is excellent. Milwaukee has a Fair Housing Council. This is even better. They have a contact us link right on their front page if you feel that you've been discriminated against in the process of finding housing. I would recommend contacting them anyhow, to see if they have any resources for you/recommended landlords/etc. (Anyone who's reading this, the magic words are "fair housing" plus your state or municipality. There is an agency somewhere in your state that enforces fair housing laws for HUD/the state and they are there to help.)

So now we come to the second half of this: determining if you've been discriminated against. Housing discrimination is often subtle; there's four markers we look for - access, cost, information, and encouragement (along with out and out discrimination, but...) It's rare that you're run into a landlord that will flat out say "I'm not going to rent to you because you're a same-sex couple", even in a state where that's not contravened. What will happen instead is that you might not get a callback from the complex when you call about a vacancy, but your friend who's paired with a different sex partner who calls after you does get a callback (encouragement). You might get quoted a higher rent or higher deposit (cost). You might get the bare bones spiel ("yup, there's an apartment available") while your friend gets the gushing 15 minute spiel about the new appliances and granite counters. And it's damn near impossible to know whether you've been discriminated against unless you have someone else apartment hunting at the same time as you who has about your income, credit rating, etc. (Which is precisely what we do when we do paired-tests for fair housing testing. There's a really good This American Life episode that will tell you more if you're curious).

What little research we have (it's a chicken and egg thing; it's hard to get funding to do research on discrimination that legally isn't discrimination in over half the states and at the federal level) says that yes, there is discrimination based on sexual orientation occurring (Michigan fair housing has a really good report up from their pilot study, though that's 10 years old at this point, damn). Some studies (I have lit reviews if you want them) suggest that F/F couples may be advantaged in some markets; landlords percieve them as less threatening/more responsible/etc. (M/M couples are sometimes advantaged because of the sheer income advantage, on average). But there is also discrimination against SS couples. I can't find the HUD complaint statistics right now, but there's no small percentage of complaints each year that are disability based, as well.

Unfortunately, if/when you are discriminated against, it's unlikely that anything will happen soon enough to help you out; by the time it happens, you call in the complaint, an investigation gets launched, they file the reports, the company decides to settle/go to court/etc - you get the point. It's a long, long process. But if/when you and your partner run into something that doesn't smell right, please call in a complaint; we can't lay the egg if the chicken doesn't cluck.

In the meantime, call lots of places (as many as you can muster the energy for), look at lots of places (ditto), try not to be discouraged, and call the Fair Housing Council to see if they have suggestions for your area. Please don't misrepresent yourselves - at best, you're having to remember who you've lied to or worry about neighbors giving your away; at worst, your landlord could look for BS to evict you on once they realize what's up. Work on finding someone who wants to rent to you (and yes, make sure all your financial ducks are in a line).

Good luck!

(And if you have the bandwidth and mental energy, call/email Milwaukee's Fair Housing Council and see if they're hiring for housing testers. It's really interesting work, so I'm told, and being queer and disabled, odds are good they could use you; it's hard to get enough testers with disabilities. Again, so a friend tells me.)
posted by joycehealy at 7:20 PM on July 7, 2017 [12 favorites]


You could investigate your school's graduate housing situation as an option. Often it is decent quality but inexpensive. Likely they have units to accommodate disability. Your partner can also likely qualify as a domestic partner for the lease.
posted by Kalmya at 7:21 PM on July 7, 2017


Metahawk - that is an excellent question, and I was actually thinking as I was writing my reply above that I don't know the answer. I actually use a landlord site that mostly handles the application process for me - it prompts the potential tenant for a credit check, income verification, criminal history check, references, etc., and then it summarizes its conclusions for me (in particular, that the applicant makes n times the monthly rent, that the monthly rent requires only m% of their total income, etc.). I have never had married couple applicants yet so I don't know whether it will treat them differently than roommates - I'll be interested to find out. This landlord site came highly reviewed by other landlords in helping to manage applicants and choose applicants who can and will pay the rent.

Without going much further off the topic of the OP's question, the OP and others might find this page useful about why landlords might decide to have their tenants have joint and several liability (it's one of the pages I read as I was deciding to do that). Basically, it boils down to the fact that I need the rental income to pay the property's mortgage, and I don't want to and can't afford to take on undue financial risk that in my opinion really should be the tenants' responsibility. I have heard enough horror stories from fellow landlords to thoroughly warn me off it.

OP, as Kalmya said, could you try to rent an apartment from your university? As a grad student on a modest stipend, I always lived in student accommodation, because there was no income requirement and I didn't think I'd be able to secure a private rental (little credit history, low income). As long as you get an apartment rather than rent a room in a dorm, I wouldn't think that having your partner there with you would be a problem either.
posted by ClaireBear at 7:28 PM on July 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I live in Milwaukee and have rented from Katz, one of the big property management companies here, for seven years now. I've had mostly decent experiences in their apartments and found them to be SUPER hands-off and very impersonal - which I think is a plus for the concerns you describe. They are going to run a basic credit check and basically will not care about anything else. It's also a pretty decent market for renters here - there hasn't ever seemed to be a shortage on the "apartments available" side of things while I've ever lived here, so as a renter I have had my pick of places and it's the landlords who are trying to convince me to rent from them, never the other way around.

I'm single and living on a fairly low income close to your stipend, minus the savings, and did not have trouble finding a studio apartment in terms of getting approved financially (feel free to memail me for more detailed $ discussion if you want, or neighborhood discussion or whatnot). But to summarize, in general, I think Milwaukee has kind of a glut of housing and a number of big, impersonal property management companies that make it a good place to rent for anyone who just wants to move in and avoid any scrutiny of their personal life by landlords.

(University housing in Milwaukee is not going to save you any money. If you're going to UWM the only grad-friendly university-owned housing I know of is insanely expensive compared to basically any other options.)
posted by augustimagination at 10:43 PM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


The landlord wants to feel secure that you two will be able to pay and will be responsible tenants, and generally it's pay stubs and good rental history that does that. In lieu of pay stubs and rental history, a cosigner could really help -- can your partner's family co-sign, maybe?
posted by hungrytiger at 1:09 AM on July 8, 2017


Lesbian couple with disabled person and twas a low income household at one time here in the Chicagoland area.

We did just fine, no questions really . We had one person discriminate based on source of income (ssdi) but we really haven't had any problems. Our income is much bigger now, but housing has never been an issue for us.
posted by AlexiaSky at 3:40 AM on July 8, 2017


Are there any queer housing listservs or FB groups in your area? As a landlord I've actually had the best luck so far posting my place on my local queer housing Facebook group.

As a landlord I'm most interested in finding a tenant that:
1) can make rent every month on time (gotta pay that mortgage and my own rent)
2) someone who will take care of the place and not destroy anything
3) good balance of letting me know about pertinent issues (there's a leak under the sink or you saw the trash isn't being picked up) without dipping into constant pestering (locking yourself out on a regular basis)
4) someone who will not antagonize the neighbors (loud music, leaving trash in the hallway, illegally Airbnb-ing the place)

Many buildings require applications from all tenants who will be living in the unit, so being upfront about that is probably good. As a landlord it's a bonus for me when people are shacked up because that means fewer random people not on the lease coming through and potentially causing problems.

Also a bonus is someone who is quiet, not holding raucous parties, and who is interested in renting for a while (my eyes light up when someone expresses interest in renting for more than 1year).
posted by forkisbetter at 6:53 AM on July 8, 2017 [2 favorites]


As mentioned, Wisconsin has protection for sexual orientation, as does Milwaukee specifically. I know people on the Equal Rights Commission in Milwaukee and at least two of them are queer so if you run into shitty landlords let me know. The LGBT Chamber of Commerce has a property management company as a member (Mandel Group) and if they don't work out I'd call some of the other real estate agents listed. UWM has its own LGBT resource center, plus a tenants rights group (not specifically queer).

There are always people looking for roommates or looking to sublet on the Facebook group Milwaukee Queer Exchange. I would post there asking about queer friendly landlords.

Queer friendly neighborhoods - Bay View, Riverwest, Washington Heights. Riverwest is closest to UWM (and cheapest) but the other two are far safer, especially for women, and still have bus service if you're into that kind of thing. It's going to be really hard for y'all to find something near UWM the closer it gets to the school year. I live in Washington Heights and there are a variety of 1/2/3 bedrooms.

I am well connected to the queer community here (though not lesbian-specific) so please feel free to PM me, and if you're already here I'm happy to take you out for coffee and talk. (I am a gay trans guy in his 40s, for reference.) I can probably scrounge up someone in the disability community based on my contacts.
posted by AFABulous at 8:28 AM on July 9, 2017 [3 favorites]


Based on your income (assuming that is a post-tax or tax-free stipend) and the usual 33% rule, you should be looking for a place that costs about $500-550/month

This isn't difficult for a one bedroom, but most of them are not going to be in a great area. This one is fairly safe, if your partner can mow lawn and use a snowblower. Other safe neighborhoods are going to require a car or a lot of time spent on buses. If you can increase the rent a bit I'd go for this place. Straight shot to the university via bus, and a very safe neighborhood. Let me know if you need help vetting areas.
posted by AFABulous at 8:38 AM on July 9, 2017


Sorry for flooding here, but OH MY GOD DO NOT GET MARRIED JUST TO RENT AN APARTMENT. Wisconsin is a community property state. All debts she takes on are now yours, and vice versa. If you later get divorced, you're both responsible for each others' medical debt, credit card debt, unpaid taxes, etc etc. Ask me how I know! Take this very, very seriously. I see you've been together for six years, but a lot of people are unaware of the community property provision because not many states have it.
posted by AFABulous at 8:46 AM on July 9, 2017 [2 favorites]


Response by poster: Thank you for all the advice everyone! To clarify a few points:

1) I'm going to be at Marquette, not UWM, and they don't offer graduate housing. But that does mean I'm also looking at the West Allis area, which from my understanding is relatively safe. But I don't know if it's particularly queer-friendly.
2) We do have a car, so we have a little more flexibility there.
posted by brook horse at 9:09 AM on July 9, 2017


I know exactly two queers in West Allis. To my knowledge, they haven't been harassed there, at least not beyond the catcalling that every woman gets, but if they want to do anything fun, they leave the area. I wouldn't call it hostile but I certainly wouldn't call it friendly. Why not Washington Heights? It's even closer to Marquette, safer, and waaay more queer friendly.
posted by AFABulous at 11:11 AM on July 9, 2017 [1 favorite]


If you're looking in West Allis, be aware that the eastern portions tend to be more heavily impacted by crime, and are older, and some areas are fairly run down. As you move west, towards I-894, things tend to get better, but you're also getting closer to Waukesha County (more conservative/intolerant IMO) and also trending towards more expensive.

I would suggest looking more along the lines of Bay View or Wauwatosa. I think you would find better options for public transportation in those directions. You probably don't want to have to drive to Marquette, especially if you have to pay for parking. The areas near Mayfair Mall, including the specific apartment suggested by AFABulous, are very nice livable areas. Bay View is a little more eclectic, and things can vary from block to block, but there may be some good options especially in the areas along KK.

If you can rent from any of the larger property management companies, I doubt if they care about anything more than a steady income from a good tenant. Do take advantage of the local LGBT resources. I'm not really in close contact with many people from the local queer community anymore, but in years past, there was a fairly strong network of resources available, and I get the sense that contacting AFABulous would be a good way to get started pursuing that.
posted by jgreco at 6:12 PM on July 9, 2017 [2 favorites]


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