Famous-ish Person Etiquette Checkin
June 27, 2017 9:19 AM Subscribe
A creative team who are minor celebrities will be at San Diego Comic Con, and so will I. We work with the same medium-sized publishing company at the same level, but they're much more famous than I am. Is there a non-weird way for me to ask for an introduction?
I would really like a chance to meet these people, as I've enjoyed their work for a while now and they seem like cool, interesting folks. In an ideal world there'd be the time and space for a real conversation, but I'd at least like to be able to manage the five-minute "Hey you do good work, nice job with _______, is this your first comic con, isn't _____ a great person to work with, can't wait to see how ______ turns out" conversation that one generally has at large industry events.
But I am LOATHE to be a weirdo about this in any way! I almost never care about meeting people who're more famous than me, certainly not since I was much much younger, and so I have no idea how people navigate these situations -- do you email the company's publicist ahead of time about it? Do you drop by the booth and make a pretend-casual remark about how it'd be nice to meet so-and-so if the chance comes up? Do you conveniently arrange to be at the booth ten minutes before an event they're supposed to be doing?
I'm so embarrassed by wanting this introduction to begin with, and so reluctant to bother anyone or act in a way that would seem unprofessional, that I think it's clouding my judgement a little. I'd love an outside perspective, and any practical advice from folks who've been in a similar position!
For obvious reasons I want to keep this pretty vague, but a little more context:
- I am a fan of their work, and we have interacted online in very minor ways, but I'm pretty sure that none of the members of this team will remember who I am.
- I've worked with the company for about four years, and I've been socially connected to most of the people who work there for about ten years. Everyone at the company knows who I am and some of them are good friends of mine. As far as I know, everyone there likes me well enough.
- Everyone at the company knows that I'm a fan of these people's work. Like... a big fan. But everyone at the company is also overworked and understaffed and I don't think they're spending a ton of thought on being proactive about this kind of thing. Certainly no one has said anything to me along the lines of "Don't worry we'll make sure you get to meet _____."
- The company will have a booth at SDCC. The people I want to meet will be doing an event at that booth. I also will, but probably at a very different time, so "convenient overlap" is unlikely to be a thing.
- I have a professional badge, I'm on panels, I'm doing a signing, I have all the handy markers of "take me seriously, please"
- People at my level DO hang out in the back of the booth but there isn't a ton of room and you can't just camp out there all day.
- The company will not be hosting a dinner or a party that we'll all be invited to.
- The people I want to meet will probably be very busy, but I think they're in town for most of the show.
Seriously, no idea what to do here, and I'm tired of worrying about it!
I would really like a chance to meet these people, as I've enjoyed their work for a while now and they seem like cool, interesting folks. In an ideal world there'd be the time and space for a real conversation, but I'd at least like to be able to manage the five-minute "Hey you do good work, nice job with _______, is this your first comic con, isn't _____ a great person to work with, can't wait to see how ______ turns out" conversation that one generally has at large industry events.
But I am LOATHE to be a weirdo about this in any way! I almost never care about meeting people who're more famous than me, certainly not since I was much much younger, and so I have no idea how people navigate these situations -- do you email the company's publicist ahead of time about it? Do you drop by the booth and make a pretend-casual remark about how it'd be nice to meet so-and-so if the chance comes up? Do you conveniently arrange to be at the booth ten minutes before an event they're supposed to be doing?
I'm so embarrassed by wanting this introduction to begin with, and so reluctant to bother anyone or act in a way that would seem unprofessional, that I think it's clouding my judgement a little. I'd love an outside perspective, and any practical advice from folks who've been in a similar position!
For obvious reasons I want to keep this pretty vague, but a little more context:
- I am a fan of their work, and we have interacted online in very minor ways, but I'm pretty sure that none of the members of this team will remember who I am.
- I've worked with the company for about four years, and I've been socially connected to most of the people who work there for about ten years. Everyone at the company knows who I am and some of them are good friends of mine. As far as I know, everyone there likes me well enough.
- Everyone at the company knows that I'm a fan of these people's work. Like... a big fan. But everyone at the company is also overworked and understaffed and I don't think they're spending a ton of thought on being proactive about this kind of thing. Certainly no one has said anything to me along the lines of "Don't worry we'll make sure you get to meet _____."
- The company will have a booth at SDCC. The people I want to meet will be doing an event at that booth. I also will, but probably at a very different time, so "convenient overlap" is unlikely to be a thing.
- I have a professional badge, I'm on panels, I'm doing a signing, I have all the handy markers of "take me seriously, please"
- People at my level DO hang out in the back of the booth but there isn't a ton of room and you can't just camp out there all day.
- The company will not be hosting a dinner or a party that we'll all be invited to.
- The people I want to meet will probably be very busy, but I think they're in town for most of the show.
Seriously, no idea what to do here, and I'm tired of worrying about it!
Do you drop by the booth and make a pretend-casual remark about how it'd be nice to meet so-and-so if the chance comes up? Do you conveniently arrange to be at the booth ten minutes before an event they're supposed to be doing?
One or both of these, minus any anxiety about whether this is an ok thing to want to do-it totally is an ok thing to want to do. Drop by the booth early, say who you are, and say that you would really like the chance to meet Team, and ask when and where would be a good place to do that. There is no need for this to be "pretend-casual". Similarly, if you can guess from their schedule about a time when it might be convenient to meet Team, you may arrange to be there and introduce yourself, without feeling any anxiety about whether this is too "convenient"
They are important people to you in your field, personally and professionally, and it is normal and fine to want to meet them and to take specific steps to do so.
posted by Kwine at 9:35 AM on June 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
One or both of these, minus any anxiety about whether this is an ok thing to want to do-it totally is an ok thing to want to do. Drop by the booth early, say who you are, and say that you would really like the chance to meet Team, and ask when and where would be a good place to do that. There is no need for this to be "pretend-casual". Similarly, if you can guess from their schedule about a time when it might be convenient to meet Team, you may arrange to be there and introduce yourself, without feeling any anxiety about whether this is too "convenient"
They are important people to you in your field, personally and professionally, and it is normal and fine to want to meet them and to take specific steps to do so.
posted by Kwine at 9:35 AM on June 27, 2017 [2 favorites]
I agree with veggieboy; that's a great way to handle it. In some instances where the person whose book I reviewed or who I've interacted with online has been involved in an event that I'm not attending in a professional role, I have even been that guy who has just gone to the event, waited until the person didn't appear busy, offered my hand, and said "I'm so and so. We've interacted a few times, I just wanted to say that I admire your work."
Always polite, always respectful of whatever other things they may be doing, never assuming it's going to be a longer conversation than that exchange... and it's never not worked out positively. But I'd try veggieboy's advice first.
posted by Fish Sauce at 9:45 AM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Always polite, always respectful of whatever other things they may be doing, never assuming it's going to be a longer conversation than that exchange... and it's never not worked out positively. But I'd try veggieboy's advice first.
posted by Fish Sauce at 9:45 AM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Perspective shift: you're cool too. You're engaged in the field, you're doing a signing! Maybe they want to meet you too. It's certainly not weird that you would want to converse with people doing similar work, this is how all professionals grow in their work. The rest of us call it networking. ;)
posted by AliceBlue at 10:49 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by AliceBlue at 10:49 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]
Our perception that "famous" people think of themselves that way, and are therefore deserving of special treatment/cosseting/force fields to repel the unwashed masses is ridiculously out of whack.
I virtually guarantee they are just as fearful that no one will want to meet them, that they've lost their cool, that the other booth's meet & greet line will be longer, etc.
They are there for a reason! You are totally justified in your quest! GO FORTH AND MEET!
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 11:58 AM on June 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
I virtually guarantee they are just as fearful that no one will want to meet them, that they've lost their cool, that the other booth's meet & greet line will be longer, etc.
They are there for a reason! You are totally justified in your quest! GO FORTH AND MEET!
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 11:58 AM on June 27, 2017 [5 favorites]
Agree with I_Love_Bananas. And you seem to be forgetting where you're going. The thing you describe is literally why they are going there, to promote themselves and make connections.
If you're going to try and set something up ahead of time I'd just be clear what your intentions are. If you just want to meet them as a fan I'd say something like that so they don't wonder if you're trying to work some sort of deal. I assume they're not that famous, but the calculating "is this a fan, colleague, or someone trying to get something from me?" is a factor with people in the spotlight.
posted by bongo_x at 12:38 PM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you're going to try and set something up ahead of time I'd just be clear what your intentions are. If you just want to meet them as a fan I'd say something like that so they don't wonder if you're trying to work some sort of deal. I assume they're not that famous, but the calculating "is this a fan, colleague, or someone trying to get something from me?" is a factor with people in the spotlight.
posted by bongo_x at 12:38 PM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Followup from the OP:
SDCC was absolutely nuts! I did not end up being able to chat with this team, but the folks at my publisher were kind to me about the whole thing and all of my own events went just fine.posted by LobsterMitten at 3:24 PM on August 7, 2017
I did, however, end up running into one member of the team in a hallway at random. It wasn't at the convention center and they were obviously on their way to someplace else, so I very briefly introduced myself and did the whole "I really enjoy your work" thing for about five seconds, and then scooted off.
Alas! Nothing exciting to report on this front.
This thread is closed to new comments.
I mean, unless these people have the Secret Service guarding them, you should just use whatever channels you'd use to meet someone you'd perceive to be at your level. You're not some total random here. You have professional connections already.
If I wanted to meet someone who's published by my publisher, I would email either my editor or the person who handles my PR. Just a chill email: "Hey, I see Famous People are going to be at the conference too. I'd love to meet them and compare notes for a few minutes. Think this can happen? Maybe before/after their booth thingy?"
posted by veggieboy at 9:34 AM on June 27, 2017 [7 favorites]