Airport scanners abuse trigger. Family crisis. Now what.
June 27, 2017 6:03 AM   Subscribe

Sexual abuse survivor badly triggered by thought of airport scanners and groping + family health crisis across the country. What have you done + what do I do?

Victim of family sexual assault for 10 years. I don't fly. Just thinking about being scanned or groped I'm sobbing.

I'm okay with metal detectors but it looks like all major airports use scanners now. Airports could include Greenville, Grand Rapids, Charlotte, San francisco, Oakland.

Looked into Greyhound, Amtrak, driving. Not sure I can take 4+ days each way off work and probably would end up sleep deprived. Considering TSA Precheck but travel companion and I are both really uncomfortable with giving current govt our fingerprints, also Precheck's not a guarantee against scanners or groping.

Terrified of trying to find a way to just suck it up and get scanned but then finding myself across the country and not able to hack it on the way back.

Trying to figure out: can I find a way to deal with being retraumatized and just go through scanners, or do I go by train or car, or do I just not go at all ever. I know that just not going might be best for me.

Survivors - what have you done? What do I do here?
posted by anonymous to Travel & Transportation (20 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Seriously consider precheck. I got full blown Global Entry and even then the interview and fingerprinting were not bad at all. I have never once been forced into the millimeter wave scanner with precheck. They are also much more pleasant to people in the precheck line in my experience.
posted by MasterShake at 6:20 AM on June 27, 2017 [13 favorites]


Have you tried anti-anxiety medication like Klonopin?
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 6:29 AM on June 27, 2017 [6 favorites]


Seconding Pre-check. It's like going through the airport pre 9/11. Drop back on belt, empty pockets, walk through metal detector.
posted by COD at 6:35 AM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]


The fact that you have a travel companion who can keep an eye on you suggests to me that you should consider talking to a doctor and getting a benzo to get through it. It will help you stay calm during, and benzos also tend to interfere with the creation of memories, so you'll be more able to let it go, afterwards. I had to go with a half dose because I was travelling alone, about a month ago, but it got me through the patdown and scanner--I'd been selected for the more thorough screening because my ID was new--in one piece even though I have serious issues with physical contact.

I agree with doing precheck, but I think you should get the medication if you can tolerate it because you can't guarantee you won't be stuck doing more. At the end of the day, there's still a possibility that it could be unpleasant, but it's momentary and all you need is to be able to stay basically conscious through it and then sleep off the rest of the pill on the plane. (You'll know when you go to get your boarding pass if you've been stuck with the extra screening; you won't be able to check in online. So you'll have time to take something in advance.)
posted by Sequence at 6:49 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]


You don't say what the event is or the reason why you are considering going from what appears to be the East Coast to the West Coast. Depending on the reason, with the amount of anxiety you are facing, unless it was life or death or the funeral of a very very close relative, I would skip it.

However, this will come up again at some point so I would also work on a solution when you are not under time pressure to find a working solution. It might take months, years (?) of therapy to make it work. Who knows?
posted by AugustWest at 6:56 AM on June 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


Don't discount San Jose for a bay area airport. They have scanners, but more often than not (in Terminal B at least which is where Southwest flies through) it is just the metal detectors in use.
posted by CoffeeHikeNapWine at 7:03 AM on June 27, 2017


Don't discount San Jose for a bay area airport. They have scanners, but more often than not (in Terminal B at least which is where Southwest flies through) it is just the metal detectors in use.

I understand this temptation but it feels all too random to ever rely on it. On my most recent trip a few weeks ago, the outbound leg had me not removing my shoes, or belt or even laptop from bag. It was wonderful and quick and fast. On the return leg, I had to do all those things.

As others have mentioned that if you need to travel and you have a good traveling companion you may get some benefit from the expedited programs, anti-anxiety medicine and some time talking to a therapist who may give you some ways of helping you to cope with this situation.
posted by mmascolino at 7:28 AM on June 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


I have pre-check but I got randomly selected at SEA last month to go through the scanner. So it's not guaranteed that you'll avoid it even with pre-check.
posted by matildaben at 7:35 AM on June 27, 2017 [7 favorites]


Fill out the TSA notification card and contact passenger support with these questions.

Precheck is helpful but doesn't guarantee avoidance of scanners (e.g. if the metal detector is down). If you're my age or older, current government likely already has access to your fingerprints and other information that's more personally unique than prints (I found out my fingerprints were already in a database some years ago from when I was a child, as a part of some 1980s kids safety program through my school).

In the long term, you might want to consider PTSD/aversion therapy. Walking through a scanner is a straightforward situation to model in a therapeutic setting, and is such a specific experience that it's ideal as a focus for treatment.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 7:42 AM on June 27, 2017 [5 favorites]


I am not an abuse survivor, but I opt out of the scanners for other personal reasons, and thus I have voluntarily had the pat-down routine done dozens of times. Feel free to PM me (or ask a mod to reply on your behalf in this thread) if you want to know EXACTLY how this goes and what to expect. (It seems crazy to sign up for groping, no? But I find it less invasive to volunteer for it than when it's a consequence of a "suspicious" scan.)
posted by desuetude at 7:45 AM on June 27, 2017


This is a strange suggestion, and one with an expense (airlines charge a fee), but are you able to travel with a pet?

I fly with my small dog a lot, and the TSA procedure for flying with an animal is this:

1) Load belongings, including removing belt, jacket, and shoes, into bins to go through the metal detector.
2) Carry your pet in your arms.
3) Walk through the *metal detector* (NO scanner, NO patdown) with your pet in arms.
4) A TSA agent swipes your hands with bomb paper while you hold your pet in arms.

That's it. No scanner, no groping.
posted by phunniemee at 8:20 AM on June 27, 2017 [5 favorites]


I am not an abuse survivor, but I opt out of the scanners for other personal reasons, and thus I have voluntarily had the pat-down routine done dozens of times.

This is exactly me. I am not suggesting that this is the right path for you, but in a public area with someone explaining exactly what they will be doing, it might be preferable to the uncertainty (which, honestly, is one of the reasons I do it). I did not consider it gropey, personally.

Not going is also completely fine.
posted by jessamyn at 8:56 AM on June 27, 2017 [2 favorites]


I want to confirm that PreCheck is no guarantee that you won't still get selected into the normal/extra screening protocol. Ask me how I know!

I am someone who has been selected for pat downs in the past based on whatever metrics, defensible or not, are at the discretion of individual agents. For the dozen or so times this has happened I can tell you it has never ever been like the horror stories that make the news because they're rare enough to, well, make the news. I don't know if this helps in your case or not but women get pat downs from
women (obviously if you're trans this may or may not be handled properly and respected by some agents, which is horrible and there are resources available elsewhere with advice on how to handle/pre-game this/know your rights, for anyone else reading this if it doesn't apply to you personally). I have never been asked to step into a private secluded area (though the option is there) and the touches have been quick, frankly perfunctory touched by an apologetic agent of the wire on my underwire bra (no breast tissue is touched--and if you wear a bra wear a sports bra without a wire even just as long as it takes to get through security if you can!), quick pats on waistband and pockets, maybe a quick shallow (fingertip) sweep just into the waistband, and perhaps a swab for explosives residue on your hands. It usually clocks in at about 10-20 seconds total. IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: YMMV if you "look" middle eastern or Muslim, if you are African American (I've never had anyone touch my hair but I know this has been a thing for people of color in some cases), are Sikh, etc.

If this is still panicking you and you're not in a good place for this much touching, it's OK. I'd encourage you in the longer run to consider visualization and desensitization excercisss around this. It's so workable, and you will feel powerful in conquering this (even i you need a benzo or beta blocker for the final run). Be gentle with yourself and do what you need to do if you don't feel you have enough time this time around.
posted by blue suede stockings at 9:02 AM on June 27, 2017


I am also an opt-out-only flyer (much to my wife's chagrin). I would categorically NOT recommend this path if you have concerns about a physical groping being triggering. I have found wild disparities in the thoroughness, roughness, and attentiveness of different TSA staff members even a the same airports.

Seconding the recommendation above about contacting TSA to ask how they would suggest you do it - I do think that if you specifically identified this as an issue to them they might be able to provide you with a designated, specific, thorough-enough-to-be-secure but still gently non-scan option.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 9:03 AM on June 27, 2017


I need to add: the pat downs I have described above have happened in addition to a scan or x-ray. I honestly can't vouch personally for what a pat down in lieu of the new scan is like, so my experience only applies if you feel comfortable dealing with getting scanned and then are pulled aside for "additional screening" which may include physical contact. If you can work around the anxiety and triggers of getting scanned (and really, it's just an outline--can you compare it to a medical x-ray?) this may spare you getting "handled" beyond some quick superficial pats, if at all.

But most importantly, I'll say it again: if you can't do this right now, it's OK. You're OK. The last thing you need right now given the circumstances is any shame or self-flagellation about your own health condition. Take care of your own immediate needs first or you won't be available to help anyone else.
posted by blue suede stockings at 9:17 AM on June 27, 2017


I fly 4-7 times a year, and have for the past four or five years, and virtually always opt out of the scan. I think I've been scanned once. I'm a cisgendered, small, white woman, so....definitely not considered particularly threatening and I'm sure that affects my experience by making it easier. I have flown in the last month, so since the "new rules" for stricter screening were rolled out and I didn't see a difference. That said, in my experience the patdown is pretty much as blue suede stockings describes it. The TSA agent is supposed to describe what they are about to do just before they do it. I have been groped and this definitely doesn't feel similar. The only time I ever had a bad experience was when I was flying with a bunch of expressed breast milk and they were obnoxious about it. They always offer to do it privately (I always say no, mostly because I don't care, but also because I feel like out in the open is public/less likely to go bad!). They also always ask if you have a medical condition. If you're female, you could say something about being in early pregnancy....I flew several times while pregnant and they were usually more perfuctionary then. Some airports have better agents than others... I am not that familiar with the ones you list but maybe you could google some info? Like, I know DCA is notoriously bad, so I feel like that info should be discussed somewhere.

A family member of mine has taken Amtrak cross-country several times and has said the sleeping cars are actually pretty comfortable. Obviously the time is an issue, but it's my understanding that traveling cross-country is much more comfortable than a short train trip so the sleep may not be as much of an issue.
posted by john_snow at 9:59 AM on June 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


I felt like I should add a little to what I wrote before, just for context: When I say I have problems with physical contact, I was absolutely in tears over the prospect of it and lost sleep over it beforehand, I don't just mean "I was somewhat uncomfortable". But half of an Ativan was enough to get me through the process. They asked if I had any issues with the patdown before they did it, and I think they were relatively easy about it because I said that I did. It felt, medicated, fairly remote and dreamy, and I had to sit down for a few minutes afterwards but I was okay to take the rest of my trip. There are no guarantees, but I just want to say that this is the sort of experience that you can survive even if it sucks, and that one of the benefits of the medication was not making it a totally painless process during, but allowing you afterwards to move on without dwelling on it. I remember it more like it was a thing that happened to somebody else, and I'm okay with that.

They did the whole thing with the backs of hands, and what I recall of it was that it felt invasive but it did not feel even vaguely sexual. Flying was a really terrible experience for me--but the rest of my going on vacation was not heavily colored by it. You know you better than anybody else, but you've been through so much in your life and survived it, and I want you to remember that you're capable of making it through this experience if (big if) what's on the other side of the trip is worth being there for.
posted by Sequence at 1:32 PM on June 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


I tell them I can't raise my arms above my head (which is true, due to orthopedic issues) and so I've never had to go through the scanner, only the metal detector. I've never had the patdown. I've had my bag searched sometimes, and my shoes... well, whatever they do there... but that's it.

So... I don't know how you feel about white lies but apparently not being able to raise your arms = no scanner.
posted by AFABulous at 3:09 PM on June 27, 2017


There are a lot of great reasons to take a nice diazepam (or klonopin, or ativan or whatever your doctor will give you) when you fly and this sounds like one of them.
posted by fingersandtoes at 4:22 PM on June 27, 2017 [1 favorite]


I used to work for the TSA as one of the agents. There is no 100% effective way to avoid being touched. There are ways to reduce the likelihood, but no guarantees. Part of peoples' varying experiences described above is intentional to prevent bad actors from gaming the system, and some of it is just the agents being lazy, poorly trained, in a bad mood, eagle-eyed, naturally suspicious, bored, or scared for their job.
posted by Monday at 12:03 AM on June 28, 2017


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