How do I keep enough food at home?
June 26, 2017 10:30 AM Subscribe
How do I change things so that I have enough food at home?
I'm a single parent of a teen and another child. I live in an apartment. I cannot keep enough food at home and I am in constant food crisis.
Both have medical problems and barriers. My young teen is not at a point where they can overcome barriers to walking two blocks to the store to buy stuff yet. The younger one needs constant supervision and needs specialized child care - I cannot leave the younger one in the care of the teen. I know other families would just run to the store and leave the kids or leave the kids in the car or their kids would just agree to stop at the store. I am not able to do this. I have less childcare support than I did when they were younger too.
We all have allergies and food restrictions, so I'm not in the position of being able to order a pizza. I have a small fridge and just an above the fridge freezer. Dietary problems prevent two of us from eating beans/legumes. A member of the household also has a fluctuating chronic illness, where what they can eat sometimes changes. And one of the kids has a lot of sensory problems. Also, anything with additives or dyes tends to trigger the one or both kids. I have to cook anything on the stove or the oven when they are asleep, because of safety concerns. And it's really hot now, so turning on either of those is a bad idea anyway.
I am constantly running out of milk, bread, protein. I don't have a door person at this building and the building won't let me give a grocery service my key. Also, the grocery services are either quite high end or, if they are more generic, I find that they substitute the stupidest things. So I either pay through the nose or I end up sending a ton of stuff back, because of differences in service quality, no matter how good my notes are.
I can't seem to keep enough food in the house. And, because of allergies, I can't necessarily run to just any grocery store. Because of challenges for one of the kids, I have to buy everything prechopped or chop with plastic utensils, so it's not like I can buy a roast and slice it up easily.
I feel like I am really doing something wrong. But I think about my childhood and my dad was always bringing food home from work or going to the store in the evening. I guess, if I didn't have kids with barriers, I would just leave them and run to the store for 15 min. I certainly thought that, by age 12, my teen would be babysitting the younger for for a bit, but life turned out differently. I think a lot of other people in our area do a lot of eating out, take out, delivery, meal prep services and stuff like Costco or grocery store meals. Because of the limited selection in urban grocery stores and limited fridge/freezer/shelf space, I think most people shop daily or every couple of days. I used to do that, before I was a single parent. Now it's impossible.
I imagine part of the problem is that the kids are growing and eating more and drinking more. But I also have a not huge fridge (think base model Frigidaire). I don't know if I'm just loading it stupidly. I can't seem to fit enough stuff in there to keep it loaded up either.
Anyway, surely other people are able to do this. What am I doing wrong and how do I fix this? I know we face more barriers than others, but surely there are ways to hack this. I refuse to give up. I think some of it must be that I have to really work on transitioning to not shopping frequently, not ordering out, not having enough childcare -- I feel like I really haven't figured this out yet. Thanks.
I'm a single parent of a teen and another child. I live in an apartment. I cannot keep enough food at home and I am in constant food crisis.
Both have medical problems and barriers. My young teen is not at a point where they can overcome barriers to walking two blocks to the store to buy stuff yet. The younger one needs constant supervision and needs specialized child care - I cannot leave the younger one in the care of the teen. I know other families would just run to the store and leave the kids or leave the kids in the car or their kids would just agree to stop at the store. I am not able to do this. I have less childcare support than I did when they were younger too.
We all have allergies and food restrictions, so I'm not in the position of being able to order a pizza. I have a small fridge and just an above the fridge freezer. Dietary problems prevent two of us from eating beans/legumes. A member of the household also has a fluctuating chronic illness, where what they can eat sometimes changes. And one of the kids has a lot of sensory problems. Also, anything with additives or dyes tends to trigger the one or both kids. I have to cook anything on the stove or the oven when they are asleep, because of safety concerns. And it's really hot now, so turning on either of those is a bad idea anyway.
I am constantly running out of milk, bread, protein. I don't have a door person at this building and the building won't let me give a grocery service my key. Also, the grocery services are either quite high end or, if they are more generic, I find that they substitute the stupidest things. So I either pay through the nose or I end up sending a ton of stuff back, because of differences in service quality, no matter how good my notes are.
I can't seem to keep enough food in the house. And, because of allergies, I can't necessarily run to just any grocery store. Because of challenges for one of the kids, I have to buy everything prechopped or chop with plastic utensils, so it's not like I can buy a roast and slice it up easily.
I feel like I am really doing something wrong. But I think about my childhood and my dad was always bringing food home from work or going to the store in the evening. I guess, if I didn't have kids with barriers, I would just leave them and run to the store for 15 min. I certainly thought that, by age 12, my teen would be babysitting the younger for for a bit, but life turned out differently. I think a lot of other people in our area do a lot of eating out, take out, delivery, meal prep services and stuff like Costco or grocery store meals. Because of the limited selection in urban grocery stores and limited fridge/freezer/shelf space, I think most people shop daily or every couple of days. I used to do that, before I was a single parent. Now it's impossible.
I imagine part of the problem is that the kids are growing and eating more and drinking more. But I also have a not huge fridge (think base model Frigidaire). I don't know if I'm just loading it stupidly. I can't seem to fit enough stuff in there to keep it loaded up either.
Anyway, surely other people are able to do this. What am I doing wrong and how do I fix this? I know we face more barriers than others, but surely there are ways to hack this. I refuse to give up. I think some of it must be that I have to really work on transitioning to not shopping frequently, not ordering out, not having enough childcare -- I feel like I really haven't figured this out yet. Thanks.
Can you throw money at this problem? i.e., can you pay a friend (I would say a Taskrabbit, but it sounds like it would be easier to give a key to a trusted friend and just not tell your building) to go the store and not make any substitutions to your list? Can you shop Amazon for packaged items? Can you get things like banana slicers, plastic cheese cutters, etc. that do one job and make eating that one thing possible, but do it without being a hazard to your kids? Depending on where you are, there may be caterers who can set up meal delivery for people with special needs and allergies, and you can order some meals from them. If you can't throw money at this, you need to 1) determine what you all can eat and 2) make a list you can shop from that has as many nonperishables on it as possible.
I would start by making a list of things that you can all eat. Don't think about the things that don't work for everyone. You don't eat those any more unless someone brings you some. Hopefully the kids will get to a point where they can eat more things or where you have more childcare and can branch out, but for now, just make a list of things you can prepare in your environment that everyone can eat without exception. If it's only like four meals, that's fine. Rotate the four safe meals. If you can update with more parameters for safe meals, please do.
Second, make a list of things that don't need to be refrigerated that you are all able to eat. If you're always running out of milk but can't get to the store, powdered/dry milk is a solution-- you can store the powder in the cabinet and make it as you need it. Dried fruit, nuts, peanut butter in big jars, jerky-- if you can do a huge shop at the beginning of the month for all of that, you can minimize the "running out of enough food" problem. If you have enough food, you can worry about the second trip for perishables.
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:53 AM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
I would start by making a list of things that you can all eat. Don't think about the things that don't work for everyone. You don't eat those any more unless someone brings you some. Hopefully the kids will get to a point where they can eat more things or where you have more childcare and can branch out, but for now, just make a list of things you can prepare in your environment that everyone can eat without exception. If it's only like four meals, that's fine. Rotate the four safe meals. If you can update with more parameters for safe meals, please do.
Second, make a list of things that don't need to be refrigerated that you are all able to eat. If you're always running out of milk but can't get to the store, powdered/dry milk is a solution-- you can store the powder in the cabinet and make it as you need it. Dried fruit, nuts, peanut butter in big jars, jerky-- if you can do a huge shop at the beginning of the month for all of that, you can minimize the "running out of enough food" problem. If you have enough food, you can worry about the second trip for perishables.
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:53 AM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
I was going to suggest something like keeping sharper kitchen tools in a toolbox with a lock on it, so at least you'd have that option for slicing a roast, like you said.
Then I read your question again more carefully, and noticed that you can't really even cook when the kids are awake and I think, based on the limitations you're facing, you should look into respite care and/or home care, at least for a couple hours two or three times per week.
I realize this may be something you cannot afford, but do please look into it. My parents' Medicaid pays for small amounts of respite care, there are churches and community organizations who could offer this, possibly your children's doctor/practice can help you find someone.
This sounds really overwhelming and I think you tried to downplay how difficult this is, but I really get it and I'm sure you're struggling.
posted by cooker girl at 11:01 AM on June 26, 2017 [21 favorites]
Then I read your question again more carefully, and noticed that you can't really even cook when the kids are awake and I think, based on the limitations you're facing, you should look into respite care and/or home care, at least for a couple hours two or three times per week.
I realize this may be something you cannot afford, but do please look into it. My parents' Medicaid pays for small amounts of respite care, there are churches and community organizations who could offer this, possibly your children's doctor/practice can help you find someone.
This sounds really overwhelming and I think you tried to downplay how difficult this is, but I really get it and I'm sure you're struggling.
posted by cooker girl at 11:01 AM on June 26, 2017 [21 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks. Can you tell me about respite and home care? I don't even really know how to do that. Will they come do stuff for me? I don't know how I would even schedule it. Our schedule is so unpredictable.
My one child requires really specialized care, so I can't just have respite for him. It's too complicated. As skills improve, this should go away, but it's impossible right now.
I have really exhausted all the favours I'm going to get from friends. Most of them are single parents or have kids with special needs.
I don't have any room for a chest freezer, although I don't know if that sort of thing is maybe safe on a balcony? I'm trying to think of where to put it. (It rains here a lot.)
It is extraordinarily difficult, but I keep thinking I should at least be able to keep enough milk. I do not think they will drink regular milk.
I guess maybe I have to figure out what we can all eat. I feel like I can't figure that out. There are so many different problems. Maybe I need to start with one meal, but they vary in whether they will even eat it. NT kids, you could just tell them to tough it out. But these kids will end up in difficult circumstances if they don't eat enough.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 11:07 AM on June 26, 2017
My one child requires really specialized care, so I can't just have respite for him. It's too complicated. As skills improve, this should go away, but it's impossible right now.
I have really exhausted all the favours I'm going to get from friends. Most of them are single parents or have kids with special needs.
I don't have any room for a chest freezer, although I don't know if that sort of thing is maybe safe on a balcony? I'm trying to think of where to put it. (It rains here a lot.)
It is extraordinarily difficult, but I keep thinking I should at least be able to keep enough milk. I do not think they will drink regular milk.
I guess maybe I have to figure out what we can all eat. I feel like I can't figure that out. There are so many different problems. Maybe I need to start with one meal, but they vary in whether they will even eat it. NT kids, you could just tell them to tough it out. But these kids will end up in difficult circumstances if they don't eat enough.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 11:07 AM on June 26, 2017
It sounds like you have some really challenging things making this difficult, so please don't blame yourself! Heck, I have a hard time keeping food in my own fridge. Organizing a household used to be a full time job- often for more than one person- and now it gets shoved in next to a career and child care. Please be gentle with yourself!
It sounds like you live in an apartment building- is it possible a couple of the other tenants could help you? I would 100% help a neighbour who had a hard time with groceries.
Perhaps you could post a sign in a shared area (laundry room or mail area in my building), aiming to find 2-3 people who can help you out (so you rotate the load) by posting something like this:
My family has some medical issues that make grocery shopping difficult.
Could anyone help?
Ideally:
I would provide a grocery list & pay for all items
You would pick up some groceries for my family whenever you shop for yours (perhaps twice per month, doesn't need to be strictly scheduled)
I would reimburse you by money transfer immediately
We could occasionally communicate by text or phone to work out timing- like if you are going shopping, sometimes you could text and check if I needed anything
I could pay you $5 per shopping trip (not much I know, but money is tight too)
(personally if I read this sign I would offer to help and not take the $5)
Also- if social media is your thing (and of course it's not for everyone), perhaps you could start something like a Facebook group for your building. My building has one, and about 20 of our 60 tenants are members. Whenever we see a new person moving in we verbally invite them to join, too. It has created a nice sense of community- people have used it to arrange key-sharing, pet-sitting, house-sitting, tool-borrowing, general building troubleshooting, and occasional shared drinks or meals on our rooftop. If a group like that would work in your life, then you may find that being a little transparent about what your challenges are (if you feel comfortable) could really help your neighbours rally for you.
Good luck!
Two more thoughts- milk can be frozen. And a chest freezer can double as kitchen counter space - my family had a big cutting board and some kitchen random stuff on top of ours. We just cleared all the stuff on top out of the way when we needed to open it, which was really only once a week or so, when putting groceries into it or when taking frozen stuff out to defrost in the fridge for the next couple days.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 11:08 AM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
It sounds like you live in an apartment building- is it possible a couple of the other tenants could help you? I would 100% help a neighbour who had a hard time with groceries.
Perhaps you could post a sign in a shared area (laundry room or mail area in my building), aiming to find 2-3 people who can help you out (so you rotate the load) by posting something like this:
My family has some medical issues that make grocery shopping difficult.
Could anyone help?
Ideally:
I would provide a grocery list & pay for all items
You would pick up some groceries for my family whenever you shop for yours (perhaps twice per month, doesn't need to be strictly scheduled)
I would reimburse you by money transfer immediately
We could occasionally communicate by text or phone to work out timing- like if you are going shopping, sometimes you could text and check if I needed anything
I could pay you $5 per shopping trip (not much I know, but money is tight too)
(personally if I read this sign I would offer to help and not take the $5)
Also- if social media is your thing (and of course it's not for everyone), perhaps you could start something like a Facebook group for your building. My building has one, and about 20 of our 60 tenants are members. Whenever we see a new person moving in we verbally invite them to join, too. It has created a nice sense of community- people have used it to arrange key-sharing, pet-sitting, house-sitting, tool-borrowing, general building troubleshooting, and occasional shared drinks or meals on our rooftop. If a group like that would work in your life, then you may find that being a little transparent about what your challenges are (if you feel comfortable) could really help your neighbours rally for you.
Good luck!
Two more thoughts- milk can be frozen. And a chest freezer can double as kitchen counter space - my family had a big cutting board and some kitchen random stuff on top of ours. We just cleared all the stuff on top out of the way when we needed to open it, which was really only once a week or so, when putting groceries into it or when taking frozen stuff out to defrost in the fridge for the next couple days.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 11:08 AM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: And, yes, I do have veggies choppers, but prepping the veg to go into those needs more knife work than you'd think. And I cannot even have them in a toolbox anymore...just not allowed here at all. High end building...no signs.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 11:08 AM on June 26, 2017
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 11:08 AM on June 26, 2017
one option for the milk is to supplement your fresh milk with good powdered milk like Nido. Preparing it and setting in the fridge overnight will improve the flavor, as will mixing it with fresh milk. You can get the big cans from Amazon or you can also find it at stores that carry Hispanic groceries.
I'd also consider other types of canned protein beyond beans, such as tuna and chicken.
For bread, have you tried buying an extra loaf for the freezer? Or maybe getting a cheap bread machine and making your own? You can probably score one from a thrift store or ask your friends if anyone has one they aren't using.
posted by cabingirl at 11:08 AM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
I'd also consider other types of canned protein beyond beans, such as tuna and chicken.
For bread, have you tried buying an extra loaf for the freezer? Or maybe getting a cheap bread machine and making your own? You can probably score one from a thrift store or ask your friends if anyone has one they aren't using.
posted by cabingirl at 11:08 AM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Can you give us an idea of your current system for grocery shopping? (I'm sorry if I missed it in your question, but I wasn't sure how you are getting food right now, even if it's an inadequate system.) Then we could maybe offer suggestions on how to tweak/modify your current routine to make it more efficient for you.
I'm so sorry you are going through this--it sounds incredibly difficult.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2017
I'm so sorry you are going through this--it sounds incredibly difficult.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2017
You can freeze milk; no problem at all. Bread, too. Keep the fridge at a pretty cold setting, and you will be able to keep milk in the fridge longer. Watch craigslist for a larger fridge, small 2nd fridge, small freezer.
Make a list of things that keep that you can eat. I used to keep my standard grocery list in a plastic sleeve in my purse. Focus on foods that are easily stored. Here;s an approximation of my list
No refrigeration needed: rice, pasta, potatoes, onions, rice-a-roni, canned crushed tomatoes(to make pasta sauce), canned beets (add a little vinegar - tasty), canned corn, canned chili w/ no beans(alternative pasta sauce), peanut butter, bisquick, sugar, oil, crackers(savory & graham), dried fruit (easy to store)
Refrigeration needed: butter/marg., eggs, frozen vegetables, frozen blueberries to add to pancakes(bisquick, oil, eggs), yogurt, bread, milk, hummus, frozen concentrated oj (easy to store), whatever meat works for you.
I bake muffins to ensure some good nutrition every day, and add walnuts, apricots, bran and pumpkin for both flavor and for some specific dietary needs(magnesium, fiber, protein), so I make sure I have ww flour, bran, baking powder, salt, oil, orange juice(instead of milk, no dairy for me), eggs, dried apricots, walnuts, canned pumpkin. 15 minutes to measure and combine ingredients, 20 minutes to bake.
I suspect that the larger problem is that you have 2 kids who are consuming all your energy and you are overwhelmed. Look for a respite care program, ask a church for volunteers. You really sound like you need some support. Taskrabbit for a person to shop for you is a great idea.
Ask this question again and specify foods you currently eat, and your location, so people can help you more effectively.
posted by theora55 at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
Make a list of things that keep that you can eat. I used to keep my standard grocery list in a plastic sleeve in my purse. Focus on foods that are easily stored. Here;s an approximation of my list
No refrigeration needed: rice, pasta, potatoes, onions, rice-a-roni, canned crushed tomatoes(to make pasta sauce), canned beets (add a little vinegar - tasty), canned corn, canned chili w/ no beans(alternative pasta sauce), peanut butter, bisquick, sugar, oil, crackers(savory & graham), dried fruit (easy to store)
Refrigeration needed: butter/marg., eggs, frozen vegetables, frozen blueberries to add to pancakes(bisquick, oil, eggs), yogurt, bread, milk, hummus, frozen concentrated oj (easy to store), whatever meat works for you.
I bake muffins to ensure some good nutrition every day, and add walnuts, apricots, bran and pumpkin for both flavor and for some specific dietary needs(magnesium, fiber, protein), so I make sure I have ww flour, bran, baking powder, salt, oil, orange juice(instead of milk, no dairy for me), eggs, dried apricots, walnuts, canned pumpkin. 15 minutes to measure and combine ingredients, 20 minutes to bake.
I suspect that the larger problem is that you have 2 kids who are consuming all your energy and you are overwhelmed. Look for a respite care program, ask a church for volunteers. You really sound like you need some support. Taskrabbit for a person to shop for you is a great idea.
Ask this question again and specify foods you currently eat, and your location, so people can help you more effectively.
posted by theora55 at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2017 [6 favorites]
If you need to cook when the kids are asleep, a slow cooker could be a big help, and maybe would even work for daytime? Bonus is that it makes many meats fork-tender, so you won't need a knife, and won't heat up your kitchen Chicken/potato/carrots, just keep it super basic within your allergy restrictions.
posted by donnagirl at 11:15 AM on June 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by donnagirl at 11:15 AM on June 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
They're pricey for an all the time thing, but Mountain House makes delicious camping meals that are literally 1. Boil water 2. Pour water into bag 3. Stir 4. Let sit. They have a bunch of flavors and are delicious. Maybe you could keep a few as "emergency" meals in the cupboard? Not sure how it would work with allergies.
You can also look up "backpacking meals" which will give you other shelf stable things that are easy to prepare.
It sounds like you have a lot of limitations that most people aren't working with, so no, you're not "doing shopping wrong" or anything like that. You're working with a VERY difficult hand that's you've been dealt.
posted by raccoon409 at 11:25 AM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
You can also look up "backpacking meals" which will give you other shelf stable things that are easy to prepare.
It sounds like you have a lot of limitations that most people aren't working with, so no, you're not "doing shopping wrong" or anything like that. You're working with a VERY difficult hand that's you've been dealt.
posted by raccoon409 at 11:25 AM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
In addition to the powdered milk mentioned above, you might also consider shelf-stable milk that comes in boxes. It lasts forever.
posted by mcduff at 11:27 AM on June 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by mcduff at 11:27 AM on June 26, 2017 [7 favorites]
It really sounds to me like you're at a point where you need to be talking to whatever disability support services you have access to about the fact that your current level of support is just not enough to allow you guys to survive in your current living situation. This isn't something where you just aren't trying hard enough, or where you just don't know the tricks. It is not a sign of any kind of failure on your part if you are unable to care for not one but two children with problems this significant. Some problems are just big enough that you need the help of other adults, ideally professionals, in order to keep everybody safe and healthy, including you. You're describing your current status as crisis--if you don't know where to turn for crisis support in your area, more detail about your location might help people help you with that.
posted by Sequence at 11:36 AM on June 26, 2017 [43 favorites]
posted by Sequence at 11:36 AM on June 26, 2017 [43 favorites]
Is there *anywhere* in your apartment that you could wedge in an extra freezer? I have a model roughly like this and even though it's small, it packs enough to make a HUGE difference in the amount of food I can buy/store at once. I use it as a sort of "table" against a wall that is near, but not in, the kitchen and I store our medium-size trash can on top of it (space is tight for us, too). There are even smaller models that would fit under a desk somewhere. I believe chest freezers are slightly more efficient but for me, an upright freezer was much easier to fit since I could store things on top.
posted by R a c h e l at 11:38 AM on June 26, 2017
posted by R a c h e l at 11:38 AM on June 26, 2017
People are already providing suggestions that I think are great, but I also wanted to add: your situation is legitimately overwhelming, and it sounds like you are already doing really well. You said, "I keep thinking I should at least be able to keep enough milk," but here's the thing: replacing staples that are highly perishable and used up quickly is the hardest grocery task. I'm in a two-adult household, no special needs or requirements, with a convenience store at the end of the block, and I still run out of milk CONSTANTLY. I'm out of milk right now. Meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning up? It's the most time consuming, logistically challenging, and mentally/emotionally demanding chore of any household.
You're a superhero. Like pseudostrabismus said, running a single household used to be a full-time job for multiple people, even without all of the extra restrictions and challenges that you are managing. It's hard not because you're failing, but because it's HARD. Be kind to yourself.
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 11:39 AM on June 26, 2017 [16 favorites]
You're a superhero. Like pseudostrabismus said, running a single household used to be a full-time job for multiple people, even without all of the extra restrictions and challenges that you are managing. It's hard not because you're failing, but because it's HARD. Be kind to yourself.
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 11:39 AM on June 26, 2017 [16 favorites]
I agree with seriously trying to figure out if you have any sort of respite care/assistance options. This is going to mean a lot of phone calls probably, and internet work, but at least those you can do without needing childcare. Assuming you're in the US, if your child is on SSDI, you can start by reading that document (if they are not on it, maybe they should be). Find the websites for your city and county and see what services are available. If your child is in the school system, ask the administration there. Ask your child's doctors.
Respite care comes in a million forms. That may include someone who can shop for you. It could mean access to a service that will do meal prep for you, or someone to take deliveries and bring them to you at the right time. It's impossible to say because it varies so widely from area to area, but you won't know until you ask.
I also agree you should be logging what can be/is getting eaten with an eye to turning that into a more comprehensive shopping/storage plan. Just to get a handle on what you need.
You're not doing anything wrong, you just have several diametrically opposed hurdles that are legitimately making this hard. Something needs to give, and you will have to figure out which is most likely to be replaceable with some alternate strategy.
I keep my little chest freezer in my dining area, it's this one. I think that's going to be a significant improvement if you can find somewhere at all to put one.
You could pay someone to shop and meal prep outside your home for you. This is a thing that people do for work, from personal trainers to nutritionists to grandmas - I'm in Los Angeles so my results are probably not 100% representative, but there are quite a few of them on my Craigslist and you can probably find more on Yelp and just googling. (Example.) I searched "meal prep". You don't necessarily have to have them fully cook every single meal for you, but at least do the shopping, bulk-cook some proteins and cut them up for you, prep sides and stuff that you can microwave if they need to be hot, and then they can bring it all to you in stackable gladware/food prep containers and zip-top bags. All things considered, given the expense of trying to order food or eat delivery, it's probably cheaper to pay someone to do the work and give you exactly the food you need in return, without you ever needing childcare. And if you're paying a flat hourly rate for the shopping, they can go to Costco or wherever and get you the big packs of shelf-stable stuff periodically, without you needing to do logistics.
Kids don't actually need that much milk, but get them whatever works and use stackable food storage and zip top bags filed in shoeboxes/storage boxes to make more room in the rest of the fridge. Not everything needs to live in its original packaging, and other things can be stacked when stored in containers. You may need to play with the shelf heights in your fridge, if they are adjustable - you need one shelf just tall enough for milk, and the rest should probably be more or less equally spaced for everything else.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:40 AM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Respite care comes in a million forms. That may include someone who can shop for you. It could mean access to a service that will do meal prep for you, or someone to take deliveries and bring them to you at the right time. It's impossible to say because it varies so widely from area to area, but you won't know until you ask.
I also agree you should be logging what can be/is getting eaten with an eye to turning that into a more comprehensive shopping/storage plan. Just to get a handle on what you need.
You're not doing anything wrong, you just have several diametrically opposed hurdles that are legitimately making this hard. Something needs to give, and you will have to figure out which is most likely to be replaceable with some alternate strategy.
I keep my little chest freezer in my dining area, it's this one. I think that's going to be a significant improvement if you can find somewhere at all to put one.
You could pay someone to shop and meal prep outside your home for you. This is a thing that people do for work, from personal trainers to nutritionists to grandmas - I'm in Los Angeles so my results are probably not 100% representative, but there are quite a few of them on my Craigslist and you can probably find more on Yelp and just googling. (Example.) I searched "meal prep". You don't necessarily have to have them fully cook every single meal for you, but at least do the shopping, bulk-cook some proteins and cut them up for you, prep sides and stuff that you can microwave if they need to be hot, and then they can bring it all to you in stackable gladware/food prep containers and zip-top bags. All things considered, given the expense of trying to order food or eat delivery, it's probably cheaper to pay someone to do the work and give you exactly the food you need in return, without you ever needing childcare. And if you're paying a flat hourly rate for the shopping, they can go to Costco or wherever and get you the big packs of shelf-stable stuff periodically, without you needing to do logistics.
Kids don't actually need that much milk, but get them whatever works and use stackable food storage and zip top bags filed in shoeboxes/storage boxes to make more room in the rest of the fridge. Not everything needs to live in its original packaging, and other things can be stacked when stored in containers. You may need to play with the shelf heights in your fridge, if they are adjustable - you need one shelf just tall enough for milk, and the rest should probably be more or less equally spaced for everything else.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:40 AM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Some ideas for things that don't need to be stored cold:
- Soy milk powder (I found some on Amazon)
- ramen
- dried seaweed (good in ramen)
- canned soup (I suppose you could try canning your own, but that sounds complicated)
- nuts - very filling, but a common allergen
- dried oats (rolled or instant) - if you have an automatic electric teapot, you can just pour boiling water over them and wait a couple of minutes to prep. You can also incorporate dried apples, walnuts, cinnamon, whatever you want.
- crackers
- peanut butter
- dried potatoes (probably not delicious, but filling)
- olive or other oil (will bulk up and flavor potatoes and other foods, but doesn't require refrigerator storage)
Foods that are filling/bulky and keep a long time in the refrigerator:
- potatoes
- head of cabbage
- carrots
- hard cheese
posted by amtho at 11:46 AM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
- Soy milk powder (I found some on Amazon)
- ramen
- dried seaweed (good in ramen)
- canned soup (I suppose you could try canning your own, but that sounds complicated)
- nuts - very filling, but a common allergen
- dried oats (rolled or instant) - if you have an automatic electric teapot, you can just pour boiling water over them and wait a couple of minutes to prep. You can also incorporate dried apples, walnuts, cinnamon, whatever you want.
- crackers
- peanut butter
- dried potatoes (probably not delicious, but filling)
- olive or other oil (will bulk up and flavor potatoes and other foods, but doesn't require refrigerator storage)
Foods that are filling/bulky and keep a long time in the refrigerator:
- potatoes
- head of cabbage
- carrots
- hard cheese
posted by amtho at 11:46 AM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
I also want to suggest an instant pot - it is a combo crockpot/rice cooker/pressure cooker, and although still dangerous (steam) will allow you to cook things quickly (we cooked 4 thick frozen chicken breasts in 20 minutes of cook time, maybe 30 minutes total, and they were easily shreddable) and not take up a ton of space.
Is it possible for you to have food delivered to you at your office, or to use Amazon Fresh for things like milk (I haven't used it, but I think they have delivery windows)?
posted by needlegrrl at 11:54 AM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Is it possible for you to have food delivered to you at your office, or to use Amazon Fresh for things like milk (I haven't used it, but I think they have delivery windows)?
posted by needlegrrl at 11:54 AM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Canned fish is nutritious protein that is shelf stable for years. Tuna, salmon, crab, are all good but pricey, chub mackerel and herring and sardines are much cheaper and also better for the environment.
I just made up some mackerel cakes like this and they were delicious! If any of you like it enough, you can putted canned fish straight on to bread or crackers.
posted by SaltySalticid at 12:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
I just made up some mackerel cakes like this and they were delicious! If any of you like it enough, you can putted canned fish straight on to bread or crackers.
posted by SaltySalticid at 12:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
What state do you live in? In Washington state the department of health and human services can evaluate your situation and provide benefits for skilled respite care.
posted by bq at 12:03 PM on June 26, 2017
posted by bq at 12:03 PM on June 26, 2017
A few sources to check for assistance in shopping / care are county services. Call the social services department and describe your issues, you may need to set up a case with them and provide your income & expenses.
Many church groups will have individuals or teams that make a mission of such things as daily checks with people needing some type of assistance such as shopping, cleaning, child care. (I have a friend that does pet/home sitting as her mission, she enjoys the pet interaction and does such a nice service for those that need it) You don't necessarily need to be a member of that church or even that religion. Catholic Charities and Latter Day Saints are ones you might check with.
Check with your local service clubs such as Lions, Rotarians, Elks etc, they may have suggestions for you as well.
Whatever you do, I hope you are able to carve out a little time for yourself, you are needed to keep your family together and need a little mental health/calming time too!
posted by IpsoFacto at 12:09 PM on June 26, 2017
Many church groups will have individuals or teams that make a mission of such things as daily checks with people needing some type of assistance such as shopping, cleaning, child care. (I have a friend that does pet/home sitting as her mission, she enjoys the pet interaction and does such a nice service for those that need it) You don't necessarily need to be a member of that church or even that religion. Catholic Charities and Latter Day Saints are ones you might check with.
Check with your local service clubs such as Lions, Rotarians, Elks etc, they may have suggestions for you as well.
Whatever you do, I hope you are able to carve out a little time for yourself, you are needed to keep your family together and need a little mental health/calming time too!
posted by IpsoFacto at 12:09 PM on June 26, 2017
Thumbs up to a 6 quart slow cooker. You can put whole hunks of meat and entire carrots and other veggies in there and then have them come out super tender and let the "keep warm" function keep everything at a food-safe temp until you want to eat it.
posted by spamandkimchi at 12:12 PM on June 26, 2017
posted by spamandkimchi at 12:12 PM on June 26, 2017
Response by poster: Thanks. Just to clarify, I don't mean we are in a safety kind of crisis. I just mean it's basically feeling like crisis to be constantly out of milk and stuff. Like, this morning, one kid drank all the milk, so then we couldn't have cereal for breakfast and the bread had gone mouldy overnight.
The government says we don't qualify for anything. We're in Canada. When I talked to churches before, they said we had to join and come to service. We are atheist and getting there is impossible anyway and I think it's wrong to use the services if I join just to get them.
I think maybe even just trying to keep some milk frozen is a good idea. I don't know if my kids will drink it, but that might at least head off one crisis. Maybe I can keep a crock pot in my room or something.
I think a big problem is that I'm not even sure what everyone will eat anymore and the constantly shifting parameters around what cooking implements I can use is enough to derail anyone. And the kids are not consistent with what they will eat and what they can eat, on top of allergies. Allergies make it extraordinarily hard to outsource anything.
But maybe I can start with frozen milk. I don't know where on earth I would safely keep a chest freezer, even a small one. Maybe my bedroom somewhere. Maybe I just need to fill it with frozen milk, butter, and shredded cheese and keep a crate of tuna and allergen-friendly crackers in my bedroom.
Maybe I need to figure out what can be frozen and what's stable and try to plan four meals and four lunches.
I am trying to bring in more supports, but just trying to get a few things stable today would be good.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 12:49 PM on June 26, 2017
The government says we don't qualify for anything. We're in Canada. When I talked to churches before, they said we had to join and come to service. We are atheist and getting there is impossible anyway and I think it's wrong to use the services if I join just to get them.
I think maybe even just trying to keep some milk frozen is a good idea. I don't know if my kids will drink it, but that might at least head off one crisis. Maybe I can keep a crock pot in my room or something.
I think a big problem is that I'm not even sure what everyone will eat anymore and the constantly shifting parameters around what cooking implements I can use is enough to derail anyone. And the kids are not consistent with what they will eat and what they can eat, on top of allergies. Allergies make it extraordinarily hard to outsource anything.
But maybe I can start with frozen milk. I don't know where on earth I would safely keep a chest freezer, even a small one. Maybe my bedroom somewhere. Maybe I just need to fill it with frozen milk, butter, and shredded cheese and keep a crate of tuna and allergen-friendly crackers in my bedroom.
Maybe I need to figure out what can be frozen and what's stable and try to plan four meals and four lunches.
I am trying to bring in more supports, but just trying to get a few things stable today would be good.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 12:49 PM on June 26, 2017
I'm not familiar with Canada, but here in the US, many communities have a local board of disabilities. The one in my town runs a center for all ages with vocational training, fun activities, trained respite care, and help with transportation and things. You could also try looking up advocacy groups for the issues your older child is dealing with. There may be some help available there. Barring either of those options, definitely look into what you can automate. Set up automatic delivery on Amazon of staple items, if you can.
posted by jhope71 at 12:52 PM on June 26, 2017
posted by jhope71 at 12:52 PM on June 26, 2017
And it's really hot now, so turning on either of those is a bad idea anyway.
Air conditioning sounds like a must... not sure what your situation is, but if money's an issue, second-hand ones can be found on craigslist/kijiji/ebay - also watch costco, walmart etc. for deals. Same for a little freezer or extra fridge (your room sounds like a good place to put it... perhaps put a lock on your door, if there is a safety concern?). And/or crockpot.
Maybe I need to figure out what can be frozen and what's stable and try to plan four meals and four lunches.
Sounds like a good plan. Maybe open a spreadsheet and mark that down, along with a list of what foods/ingredients people can eat (with another column for the individuals in question). And then search for recipes with those ingredients. Maybe also have a column for things people are allergic to, in case you run into a recipe with one of those in there, and forget. Maybe add another column for possible substitutes for those ingredients. (Colour code things, if that helps). When you find a recipe that works, put it on that spreadsheet.
As far as what people "will" eat, it sounds like you have some constraints I'm unfamiliar with, and maybe like more common practices wouldn't apply, but I think that if most people are hungry enough, they might eventually eat what they're served? I think it's also fine if someone will only eat one thing, to just give them that until they're sick of it. (My brother had a stretch of a few months when he was little, where all he'd eat was hot dogs. Ok, so he had hot dogs. Grew out of that eventually.)
It really sounds like you're going through a rough time... 211 says there's nothing? I had a quick scan of some past questions of yours... if anyone needs respite, you do. Especially if cooking is unsafe because there is a possibility that the implements might be used unsafely by someone unpredictable. You need more help. If the system won't pay for it, maybe they need a legal nudge. Maybe organizations related to the special needs one/both of your kids are dealing with can help. Wishing you luck and strength.
posted by cotton dress sock at 1:55 PM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
Air conditioning sounds like a must... not sure what your situation is, but if money's an issue, second-hand ones can be found on craigslist/kijiji/ebay - also watch costco, walmart etc. for deals. Same for a little freezer or extra fridge (your room sounds like a good place to put it... perhaps put a lock on your door, if there is a safety concern?). And/or crockpot.
Maybe I need to figure out what can be frozen and what's stable and try to plan four meals and four lunches.
Sounds like a good plan. Maybe open a spreadsheet and mark that down, along with a list of what foods/ingredients people can eat (with another column for the individuals in question). And then search for recipes with those ingredients. Maybe also have a column for things people are allergic to, in case you run into a recipe with one of those in there, and forget. Maybe add another column for possible substitutes for those ingredients. (Colour code things, if that helps). When you find a recipe that works, put it on that spreadsheet.
As far as what people "will" eat, it sounds like you have some constraints I'm unfamiliar with, and maybe like more common practices wouldn't apply, but I think that if most people are hungry enough, they might eventually eat what they're served? I think it's also fine if someone will only eat one thing, to just give them that until they're sick of it. (My brother had a stretch of a few months when he was little, where all he'd eat was hot dogs. Ok, so he had hot dogs. Grew out of that eventually.)
It really sounds like you're going through a rough time... 211 says there's nothing? I had a quick scan of some past questions of yours... if anyone needs respite, you do. Especially if cooking is unsafe because there is a possibility that the implements might be used unsafely by someone unpredictable. You need more help. If the system won't pay for it, maybe they need a legal nudge. Maybe organizations related to the special needs one/both of your kids are dealing with can help. Wishing you luck and strength.
posted by cotton dress sock at 1:55 PM on June 26, 2017 [4 favorites]
I would focus on just a few meals that are relatively shelf stable and repeat those over and over. For instance, cream cheese on rice cakes with dried apricots is something my picky eater likes. I get spelt rice cakes which have a bit of iron in them. Almond/soy/coconut milk is shelf stable. Add that to cereal and you've got a meal. Bonus if you can add some banana slices or frozen blueberries or something.
posted by TheLateGreatAbrahamLincoln at 2:10 PM on June 26, 2017
posted by TheLateGreatAbrahamLincoln at 2:10 PM on June 26, 2017
Open your fridge right now - what's in there? What's taking up a lot of room? Is it something your kids eat a lot? Can it be repackaged?
Here are some thoughts from my own extremely picky eater and stubborn kid (which is not what you're dealing with, I know...)
Pancakes in the freezer - separate each one with wax paper. Requires no knife to make or eat.
Ditto hot dogs.
Also bagels or any kind of bread product.
Organic milk lasts WAY longer than regular milk does.
What about smoothies? You can freeze all the fruit, and yogurt lasts a long time. My kid wouldn't touch a smoothie with a ten-foot pole though...Neither would he eat a quesedilla but those also freeze well and heat up fast.
I make up a whole bunch of what we call The Most Awesome Snack - peanut butter and chocolate chips wrapped in a tortilla. These last forever in the fridge. You could do the same thing with pepproni and a cheese stick wrapped in a tortilla.
If we knew what your kids could/would eat we could probably help you better, but I understand that's half the battle.
Good luck.
posted by lyssabee at 2:50 PM on June 26, 2017
Here are some thoughts from my own extremely picky eater and stubborn kid (which is not what you're dealing with, I know...)
Pancakes in the freezer - separate each one with wax paper. Requires no knife to make or eat.
Ditto hot dogs.
Also bagels or any kind of bread product.
Organic milk lasts WAY longer than regular milk does.
What about smoothies? You can freeze all the fruit, and yogurt lasts a long time. My kid wouldn't touch a smoothie with a ten-foot pole though...Neither would he eat a quesedilla but those also freeze well and heat up fast.
I make up a whole bunch of what we call The Most Awesome Snack - peanut butter and chocolate chips wrapped in a tortilla. These last forever in the fridge. You could do the same thing with pepproni and a cheese stick wrapped in a tortilla.
If we knew what your kids could/would eat we could probably help you better, but I understand that's half the battle.
Good luck.
posted by lyssabee at 2:50 PM on June 26, 2017
Just for some idea of meal-planning methodology - not necessarily meal planning to your specific dietary situation* - youtube is full of "weekly meal prep" videos that might just spark your creativity as well as get some idea of useful techniques. I still maintain that zip-top bags pressed flat with all the air out takes up less space than any other possible packing methodology (like Gladware or the very popular black-box meal prep containers they all use, and I use too, but they are space-eaters), and usually the trick is to put the first couple days' worth in the fridge and then the following 2-3 days' worth in the freezer.
*but don't be afraid to search for some of the very specific specifics of your situation because you might very well find someone doing specifically that. I don't doubt that there's high-allergen or FODMAP or similar meal preppers doing their thing on youtube already.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
*but don't be afraid to search for some of the very specific specifics of your situation because you might very well find someone doing specifically that. I don't doubt that there's high-allergen or FODMAP or similar meal preppers doing their thing on youtube already.
posted by Lyn Never at 3:01 PM on June 26, 2017 [1 favorite]
Wow, that is an epic-level cooking challenge. You sound like you're doing really well given all the issues.
Some tips from when we were dealing with medical diet issues:
1) Rotating schedule of 4+ days of meals everyone can eat so the shopping is predictable
1) Freeze the bread, freeze the cheese, buy frozen vegetables, freeze all the things
2) Shelf stable food is good food. Canned soups, vegetables, chicken and salmon are amazing. Watch out for the heavy metal levels in tuna though.
3) Crackers don't go moldy and make great deconstructed sandwiches. Ex: crackers + lunchmeat + cheese + some vegetables instead of a lunchmeat sandwich. I've replaced bread with crackers whenever possible.
4) Have a quick and easy backup meal plan. Sudden issues mean that dinner doesn't work for everyone? OK, they get a PB&J, etc
5) Make a list of what you have vs what you need. Track it to see how long it takes you to go through things so you can plan out shopping trips and get some control back. This doesn't always work - teenagers eat amazing amounts of food - but it can help
6) Slowcooker or pressure cooker. Offload the cooking to appliances so you don't need to pay a lot of attention or fire up the stove
7) Have snacks the kids can eat without messing up your meal plan. We had a snack cupboard where everyone got space for their own diet-compliant snacks. It took a lot of the pressure off fridge space and meal planning
8) Powdered milk can be added to fresh milk and make it go a lot farther
Good luck!
posted by Ahniya at 4:43 PM on June 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
Some tips from when we were dealing with medical diet issues:
1) Rotating schedule of 4+ days of meals everyone can eat so the shopping is predictable
1) Freeze the bread, freeze the cheese, buy frozen vegetables, freeze all the things
2) Shelf stable food is good food. Canned soups, vegetables, chicken and salmon are amazing. Watch out for the heavy metal levels in tuna though.
3) Crackers don't go moldy and make great deconstructed sandwiches. Ex: crackers + lunchmeat + cheese + some vegetables instead of a lunchmeat sandwich. I've replaced bread with crackers whenever possible.
4) Have a quick and easy backup meal plan. Sudden issues mean that dinner doesn't work for everyone? OK, they get a PB&J, etc
5) Make a list of what you have vs what you need. Track it to see how long it takes you to go through things so you can plan out shopping trips and get some control back. This doesn't always work - teenagers eat amazing amounts of food - but it can help
6) Slowcooker or pressure cooker. Offload the cooking to appliances so you don't need to pay a lot of attention or fire up the stove
7) Have snacks the kids can eat without messing up your meal plan. We had a snack cupboard where everyone got space for their own diet-compliant snacks. It took a lot of the pressure off fridge space and meal planning
8) Powdered milk can be added to fresh milk and make it go a lot farther
Good luck!
posted by Ahniya at 4:43 PM on June 26, 2017 [5 favorites]
My one child requires really specialized care, so I can't just have respite for him. It's too complicated.
If you can currently care for that child than a trained medical team certainly can too. You *are* eligible for support, including respite care, from both the provincial and federal government - but you really need to advocate hard. Make appointments with as many medical professionals as possible (and leave your child in their care), explain what your daily routine is and how far outside the norm it is (it sounds like you can never have time to do anything but Caregiving. Have them document the needed medical support/forms. Ask everyone you know about what programs they are aware of. Talk to the special education teachers not only at your children's school but at other schools too. If you don't have the cash in the bank for private care than get all the government help you can. If you can afford help, pay someone (sliding scale from teenager to social worker) to provide assistance at their level (from doing chores you can't, shopping, to giving you respite).
I know it is super exhausting, I've been there, but if you burn out you will not be of any use to your children so you have to practise self-care and get these supports. Your housing sounds less than ideal for you right now, I know the Canadian real estate market is really challenging, but is there any chance of you moving somewhere cheaper where you could possibly have an apartment where for cheaper rent the person can run errands for you?
Lastly, you might want to reach out to the foster care system, you are in crisis and there are many families they have offered a little breathing room to set up long range plans.
And finally, the milk problem is nothing to do with you and all about the reality of having children. I buy six or seven bags of milk at a time ... so 36-42 LITRES and I STILL run out within a couple of days. I'm convinced my children have hollow legs because even with a bishops pantry system of shopping (buying three times what I need in shelf-stable items) I cannot keep food in the house.
Good luck. You are doing great and you deserve support.
posted by saucysault at 5:10 PM on June 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
If you can currently care for that child than a trained medical team certainly can too. You *are* eligible for support, including respite care, from both the provincial and federal government - but you really need to advocate hard. Make appointments with as many medical professionals as possible (and leave your child in their care), explain what your daily routine is and how far outside the norm it is (it sounds like you can never have time to do anything but Caregiving. Have them document the needed medical support/forms. Ask everyone you know about what programs they are aware of. Talk to the special education teachers not only at your children's school but at other schools too. If you don't have the cash in the bank for private care than get all the government help you can. If you can afford help, pay someone (sliding scale from teenager to social worker) to provide assistance at their level (from doing chores you can't, shopping, to giving you respite).
I know it is super exhausting, I've been there, but if you burn out you will not be of any use to your children so you have to practise self-care and get these supports. Your housing sounds less than ideal for you right now, I know the Canadian real estate market is really challenging, but is there any chance of you moving somewhere cheaper where you could possibly have an apartment where for cheaper rent the person can run errands for you?
Lastly, you might want to reach out to the foster care system, you are in crisis and there are many families they have offered a little breathing room to set up long range plans.
And finally, the milk problem is nothing to do with you and all about the reality of having children. I buy six or seven bags of milk at a time ... so 36-42 LITRES and I STILL run out within a couple of days. I'm convinced my children have hollow legs because even with a bishops pantry system of shopping (buying three times what I need in shelf-stable items) I cannot keep food in the house.
Good luck. You are doing great and you deserve support.
posted by saucysault at 5:10 PM on June 26, 2017 [8 favorites]
Powdered milk or long-life/UHT milk can be kept pretty much indefinitely. If you or your kids don't like the taste of those on their own, they can safely be cut with normal milk.
Remember that refrigeration is not the only way to store food (we sometimes forget that, these days). Pickling/fermenting can sometimes take a bit of work, depending on what you want to pickle or ferment, but they guarantee a good and long-lastingly supply. An acquired taste, perhaps, but ferments can be stored just about anywhere, and might even be a good family project, to boot.
Dried things like fruits and jerky are slow to perish and handy to have around as well.
With a smaller freezer, freezing whole loaves of bread probably isn't a great option, as they chew up a lot of space. Possibly a dumb idea but have you considered substituting with flatbreads/wraps? If you were super keen you could perhaps get a breadmaker, because then you'd only really need to keep flour on hand, and a few other bits and pieces.
I'd also recommend a jumbo sack of rice and a rice cooker. Mix just about anything through rice and you've got something that can be filling and nutritious, or cheeky and decadent.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:25 PM on June 26, 2017
Remember that refrigeration is not the only way to store food (we sometimes forget that, these days). Pickling/fermenting can sometimes take a bit of work, depending on what you want to pickle or ferment, but they guarantee a good and long-lastingly supply. An acquired taste, perhaps, but ferments can be stored just about anywhere, and might even be a good family project, to boot.
Dried things like fruits and jerky are slow to perish and handy to have around as well.
With a smaller freezer, freezing whole loaves of bread probably isn't a great option, as they chew up a lot of space. Possibly a dumb idea but have you considered substituting with flatbreads/wraps? If you were super keen you could perhaps get a breadmaker, because then you'd only really need to keep flour on hand, and a few other bits and pieces.
I'd also recommend a jumbo sack of rice and a rice cooker. Mix just about anything through rice and you've got something that can be filling and nutritious, or cheeky and decadent.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:25 PM on June 26, 2017
I'm sorry, this sounds so stressful. I want to echo others that it sounds like you are doing a really good job juggling an almost impossible situation. I hope things get better soon. In the meantime:
- If you are comfortable telling us where you live, people might be able to give you specific delivery suggestions you might not know about. For instance, I have a coworker with two kids under 3 who had no idea about Amazon Prime Now delivery, which is a life-changer for him. If it's available where you live and you haven't tried it, give it a whirl - it's affordable and they bring the stuff you order. They don't have everything, though.
- If meal prep is out of the question, I wonder if you could hire a meal prep person and just pay them to do meal planning and shopping for you. Find someone who is creative and empathetic (yelp can be great for this kind of research).
Good luck.
posted by lunasol at 5:56 PM on June 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
- If you are comfortable telling us where you live, people might be able to give you specific delivery suggestions you might not know about. For instance, I have a coworker with two kids under 3 who had no idea about Amazon Prime Now delivery, which is a life-changer for him. If it's available where you live and you haven't tried it, give it a whirl - it's affordable and they bring the stuff you order. They don't have everything, though.
- If meal prep is out of the question, I wonder if you could hire a meal prep person and just pay them to do meal planning and shopping for you. Find someone who is creative and empathetic (yelp can be great for this kind of research).
Good luck.
posted by lunasol at 5:56 PM on June 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
I see milk come up a lot. In the country where I live, a lot of the milk sold is UHT which means it is shelf stable for months (when unopened). We keep an extended supply in the cupboard and just add a carton to the fridge as needed.
It is apparent that this isn't widely available in Canada, but googling lead to this result that might help: http://www.uhtmilk.ca/where-to-find-uht-milk.html.
posted by Gomez_in_the_South at 6:37 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
It is apparent that this isn't widely available in Canada, but googling lead to this result that might help: http://www.uhtmilk.ca/where-to-find-uht-milk.html.
posted by Gomez_in_the_South at 6:37 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
As someone who lives in Canada and has disability needs, it is such a stressful mess. I am pretty good with sorting out spectrum needs, if you want to tell us which city. (I worry it is Quebec)
posted by PinkMoose at 11:20 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by PinkMoose at 11:20 PM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]
Have you checked out this: The Benefits Finder
You are struggling so hard - and you are a hero! I wish the internet was better at getting hugs across the Atlantic. But either you aren't getting the severity of your problems across, or you need to get political about this. If you can't have knives in the house or cook a meal, your teen is not only dangerous to you, but could become dangerous to society if you as a family don't get help. I breaks my heart to see how you are trying to manage a desperate situation when you really need care. As I see it, your problem isn't food management as much as it is living with special needs children without sufficient help. You need to get that help!
What you also need more than anything else is structure and permanence. Both for you and for the kids. That is what the help should do for you.
My eldest had a troubled period in her early teens. I paid for sessions with a child psychiatrist out of my own pockets for a while in spite of being dirt poor at the time, and it was worth it. The doctor helped us identify the problems and re-structure our lives and today my daughter doesn't even remember that period of her life. It turned out that she needed a different effort from me - I was struggling to keep everything together, but I was struggling in a way that made my daughter feel lost, and she reacted with drama.
If you want to try advice from strangers on the internet about food planning, here comes a long essay because this is what I really know how to do. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of foods you can eat, including those you don't feel you can prepare right now. To begin with, don't worry too much about nutrition; my youngest lived on apple juice and biscuits for over a year and she is tall and strong and has healthy teeth. But avoid industrial processed food of any sort because they have extra sugar and additives that can exacerbate your children's problems. It seems you are already thinking in natural products rather than processed. From that list of edibles, you need to make two levels of plans. One is the general principle, another the weekly shopping. The general principle pantry determines what staples you buy, such as grains, honey, cans of stuff, tea etc. Maybe you could get these delivered without compromise on quality. They need to be the strong base of your food. You don't have the energy or even possibility to shop every day, so you can't eat as if you could. Ideally, there should be food in this pantry that you can all live on for several days: pasta, rice, tomatoes, butter, onion, oil, crackers, canned fish, etc.
The weekly shopping plan is a supplement to the base. You can google ingredients on your list for inspiration for meals. Like beef onion mushroom (totally random choice). You need to take care to not buy anything you don't need, because you are schlepping, and because you don't have the space. And you need to tell your children that you are not going down again if they drink all the milk or eat all the oranges the first day. If you are consistent, they will learn, and with the pantry principles in place, no one will starve.
About picky children (not allergies): I know it's tough, but you need to think of the long-term goals. Your children may scream and protest for some days, maybe even weeks, but no one is going to starve themself. Don't force anything, have crackers and tuna at hand. Just keep on serving what you think is right. After some time, your children will eat what they are served, and your (and their) life will be greatly improved. I'm repeating myself, but think again of what they say on airplanes: you must put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your child's. You need to plan for what you can manage, not for what the children crave. It can be an advantage that there is nothing else in the fridge they can ask for.
Also, even with the best planning, you may need to cut down on the milk. Lots of children depend on milk as their primary source of nutrition and it is really not practical when you live in the city. You are a single parent, carrying gallons of milk up into an apartment twice weekly or more is not sustainable, and your kids don't need gallons of milk, they can drink water sometimes. Use butter, yogurt and cheese when cooking if you want to make sure they get the nutrients, but to be honest, no one needs more than the equivalent of one glass of milk a day.
The children I care for now as respite for their parent are challenged in different ways. So one big rule is that when I am preparing food, they need to be preoccupied with something. Since they are hungry at that time of day, that is usually snacks - raisins, almonds, fruit, vegetables. Sometimes paper and pencils are fine. Sometimes both are needed. Sometimes they are allowed to watch TV. The important thing is to establish a routine of sitting in place: now it is food time, you need to sit here and do this, and there will reliably be food in time. This routine is clocked: sit at the table for snacks and entertainment at 5, dinner arrives at 6. (BTW, I can handle kids with problems as can many other respite volunteers. Don't imagine you can't get help).
I strongly agree with the suggestions above that you should get some type of electric cooker. The instant pot seems amazing but I haven't tried it.
Some practical suggestions:
Breakfast: Oatmeal or grits are better than processed cereal, they are both healthier and more filling and more compact when storing. Cereal are foods that have excessive amounts of sugar in them, even those that pretend not to. If the kids are used to cereal they will protest at first, but stay strong for a week or maybe a month, and that will be gone. Also, oats or grits can be made overnight in a crockpot or rice cooker with a timer. I mostly make oatmeal with water on the stove (takes three minutes), and then add butter and a bit of sugar and cinnamon before serving. Applesauce on top is good too, and is also a good pantry staple. This saves milk. The only milk is in a glass on the side. So are fruit and maybe raisins, put them on the table first thing so you can stir up the oatmeal in peace. Plain greek yogurt with something sweet like preserved fruit or honey on top is another option, but probably not enough for a teenager. When you get the sit at the table and snack routine in place, scrambled eggs with a cracker or two are great because they are filling and very nourishing.
Lunch - do you need to pack lunches? For many years, I made pasta salads. It could be simply pasta and pesto, or any other jarred sauce (pasta sauces are mostly good enough despite the above warning against processed food). If you find a safe place to hide a proper knife, diced cucumbers, tomato, olives and a dressing of olive oil and lemon seasoned with salt and pepper was a great hit with my kids. Plastic fork on top of the box, and a carrot or an apple on the side, maybe a nut-bar for a treat. Unless you have great bread, sandwiches are neither filling nor really healthy, and as you said, the bread gets moldy if you don't shop often. If the pasta is full-grain, it is both filling and healthy. My kids didn't like the lukewarm school milk and had a bottle of tap water with them as well.
For breakfast and lunch you can go on with the same routines for a long period of time - kids love repetition. I am a morning person and prepared the meals before the kids woke (and fell asleep with them at night). But you can also prepare both breakfast and lunch after the kids sleep at night.
You need an afternoon snack for while you are preparing dinner. What things on your list can become snacks? My kids got cucumber and carrot, sometimes with a bowl of yogurt for dipping, also crackers and biscuits, chips on Fridays, sometimes a small sandwich, sometimes cheese sticks. Fresh or frozen peas are very popular. My now adult youngest daughter told me the other day she loved these snacks when she was smaller and felt very lucky to get them. Sometimes they would get a glass of milk with this snack, sometimes water or lemonade.
For dinner you need a plan where you don't have to cook every day: plain potatoes one day become potato salad or sandwiches the next. A chicken cooked on a Sunday night (or morning) lasts three days in different configurations. When you've cooked rice in that electric cooker and had them for one meal, cook fried rice when they are sleeping, to heat rapidly the following day. Slow-cooked stews are good, and apart from rice or potatoes, they can also be served with couscous, a great shelf staple which you can prepare with water from the kettle rather than in a pot of the stove and you can make a salad of them the next day. A stew keeps just fine in the fridge, and can become a pie the next day, with pre-made pie dough. Lasagna and shepherds pie are great for quick re-heating, and the meat sauce can be made in the slow-cooker. The vegs for the sauce can be bought precut and frozen, which is fine for sauces. It's better to cook a big batch of meat sauce for different purposes the day you buy the pre-cut vegs, and freeze the sauce in portions rather than the vegs. More nourishment pr volume. (Can you tell I lived in a small apartment with a tiny freezer ;-))
My kids love hearty soups - that can also be made in advance or in an electric cooker. Serve water with dinner.
Hamburgers, chicken breast, stir-fries and other one-night food types should be completely avoided or only served as special treats or take-out. They need attention at the stove-top and leave no good leftovers. Not your thing.
Oftentimes a glass of milk and a piece of fruit is a good thing before bedtimes. But it could also be a cup of camomile tea with just a dash of milk and a teaspoonful of honey, and three almonds.
Maybe try baking bread and rolls with the children. That way you can get cheaper and more nourishing bread, and also keep them busy. It's a safe way to engage them, and they will enjoy the outcome regardless of how hard and strange-looking it is. After some training it will also be good. I had to take a deep breath and accept the huge mess the first time, but then I realized how giving it was and developed routines for controlling the chaos. Good bread and butter is a filling supplement to most meals, but industrial bread just makes you more hungry, and this effect is worse with teenagers. They can also help making salads, and in the weekends, deserts.
Food rituals are a great way to engage your kids. Be strict with the meal times (and bed times), minimize unplanned snacking and involve them in the making and they will find a safe space in everyday life. When you have those in place, introduce more routines and rituals - laying ones bed every morning, stretching out in a door-frame, saying grace, or if you are atheist, some other repeated saying or joke. Put out the clothes for tomorrow at night. Sing a little song before sleeping. Teach them the most important life wisdom of all: there is no always or never, every day is a new day with new opportunities for learning and improving. And while this may seem like a contradiction to the above: be consistent. Stay on course.
posted by mumimor at 11:39 PM on June 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
You are struggling so hard - and you are a hero! I wish the internet was better at getting hugs across the Atlantic. But either you aren't getting the severity of your problems across, or you need to get political about this. If you can't have knives in the house or cook a meal, your teen is not only dangerous to you, but could become dangerous to society if you as a family don't get help. I breaks my heart to see how you are trying to manage a desperate situation when you really need care. As I see it, your problem isn't food management as much as it is living with special needs children without sufficient help. You need to get that help!
What you also need more than anything else is structure and permanence. Both for you and for the kids. That is what the help should do for you.
My eldest had a troubled period in her early teens. I paid for sessions with a child psychiatrist out of my own pockets for a while in spite of being dirt poor at the time, and it was worth it. The doctor helped us identify the problems and re-structure our lives and today my daughter doesn't even remember that period of her life. It turned out that she needed a different effort from me - I was struggling to keep everything together, but I was struggling in a way that made my daughter feel lost, and she reacted with drama.
If you want to try advice from strangers on the internet about food planning, here comes a long essay because this is what I really know how to do. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of foods you can eat, including those you don't feel you can prepare right now. To begin with, don't worry too much about nutrition; my youngest lived on apple juice and biscuits for over a year and she is tall and strong and has healthy teeth. But avoid industrial processed food of any sort because they have extra sugar and additives that can exacerbate your children's problems. It seems you are already thinking in natural products rather than processed. From that list of edibles, you need to make two levels of plans. One is the general principle, another the weekly shopping. The general principle pantry determines what staples you buy, such as grains, honey, cans of stuff, tea etc. Maybe you could get these delivered without compromise on quality. They need to be the strong base of your food. You don't have the energy or even possibility to shop every day, so you can't eat as if you could. Ideally, there should be food in this pantry that you can all live on for several days: pasta, rice, tomatoes, butter, onion, oil, crackers, canned fish, etc.
The weekly shopping plan is a supplement to the base. You can google ingredients on your list for inspiration for meals. Like beef onion mushroom (totally random choice). You need to take care to not buy anything you don't need, because you are schlepping, and because you don't have the space. And you need to tell your children that you are not going down again if they drink all the milk or eat all the oranges the first day. If you are consistent, they will learn, and with the pantry principles in place, no one will starve.
About picky children (not allergies): I know it's tough, but you need to think of the long-term goals. Your children may scream and protest for some days, maybe even weeks, but no one is going to starve themself. Don't force anything, have crackers and tuna at hand. Just keep on serving what you think is right. After some time, your children will eat what they are served, and your (and their) life will be greatly improved. I'm repeating myself, but think again of what they say on airplanes: you must put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your child's. You need to plan for what you can manage, not for what the children crave. It can be an advantage that there is nothing else in the fridge they can ask for.
Also, even with the best planning, you may need to cut down on the milk. Lots of children depend on milk as their primary source of nutrition and it is really not practical when you live in the city. You are a single parent, carrying gallons of milk up into an apartment twice weekly or more is not sustainable, and your kids don't need gallons of milk, they can drink water sometimes. Use butter, yogurt and cheese when cooking if you want to make sure they get the nutrients, but to be honest, no one needs more than the equivalent of one glass of milk a day.
The children I care for now as respite for their parent are challenged in different ways. So one big rule is that when I am preparing food, they need to be preoccupied with something. Since they are hungry at that time of day, that is usually snacks - raisins, almonds, fruit, vegetables. Sometimes paper and pencils are fine. Sometimes both are needed. Sometimes they are allowed to watch TV. The important thing is to establish a routine of sitting in place: now it is food time, you need to sit here and do this, and there will reliably be food in time. This routine is clocked: sit at the table for snacks and entertainment at 5, dinner arrives at 6. (BTW, I can handle kids with problems as can many other respite volunteers. Don't imagine you can't get help).
I strongly agree with the suggestions above that you should get some type of electric cooker. The instant pot seems amazing but I haven't tried it.
Some practical suggestions:
Breakfast: Oatmeal or grits are better than processed cereal, they are both healthier and more filling and more compact when storing. Cereal are foods that have excessive amounts of sugar in them, even those that pretend not to. If the kids are used to cereal they will protest at first, but stay strong for a week or maybe a month, and that will be gone. Also, oats or grits can be made overnight in a crockpot or rice cooker with a timer. I mostly make oatmeal with water on the stove (takes three minutes), and then add butter and a bit of sugar and cinnamon before serving. Applesauce on top is good too, and is also a good pantry staple. This saves milk. The only milk is in a glass on the side. So are fruit and maybe raisins, put them on the table first thing so you can stir up the oatmeal in peace. Plain greek yogurt with something sweet like preserved fruit or honey on top is another option, but probably not enough for a teenager. When you get the sit at the table and snack routine in place, scrambled eggs with a cracker or two are great because they are filling and very nourishing.
Lunch - do you need to pack lunches? For many years, I made pasta salads. It could be simply pasta and pesto, or any other jarred sauce (pasta sauces are mostly good enough despite the above warning against processed food). If you find a safe place to hide a proper knife, diced cucumbers, tomato, olives and a dressing of olive oil and lemon seasoned with salt and pepper was a great hit with my kids. Plastic fork on top of the box, and a carrot or an apple on the side, maybe a nut-bar for a treat. Unless you have great bread, sandwiches are neither filling nor really healthy, and as you said, the bread gets moldy if you don't shop often. If the pasta is full-grain, it is both filling and healthy. My kids didn't like the lukewarm school milk and had a bottle of tap water with them as well.
For breakfast and lunch you can go on with the same routines for a long period of time - kids love repetition. I am a morning person and prepared the meals before the kids woke (and fell asleep with them at night). But you can also prepare both breakfast and lunch after the kids sleep at night.
You need an afternoon snack for while you are preparing dinner. What things on your list can become snacks? My kids got cucumber and carrot, sometimes with a bowl of yogurt for dipping, also crackers and biscuits, chips on Fridays, sometimes a small sandwich, sometimes cheese sticks. Fresh or frozen peas are very popular. My now adult youngest daughter told me the other day she loved these snacks when she was smaller and felt very lucky to get them. Sometimes they would get a glass of milk with this snack, sometimes water or lemonade.
For dinner you need a plan where you don't have to cook every day: plain potatoes one day become potato salad or sandwiches the next. A chicken cooked on a Sunday night (or morning) lasts three days in different configurations. When you've cooked rice in that electric cooker and had them for one meal, cook fried rice when they are sleeping, to heat rapidly the following day. Slow-cooked stews are good, and apart from rice or potatoes, they can also be served with couscous, a great shelf staple which you can prepare with water from the kettle rather than in a pot of the stove and you can make a salad of them the next day. A stew keeps just fine in the fridge, and can become a pie the next day, with pre-made pie dough. Lasagna and shepherds pie are great for quick re-heating, and the meat sauce can be made in the slow-cooker. The vegs for the sauce can be bought precut and frozen, which is fine for sauces. It's better to cook a big batch of meat sauce for different purposes the day you buy the pre-cut vegs, and freeze the sauce in portions rather than the vegs. More nourishment pr volume. (Can you tell I lived in a small apartment with a tiny freezer ;-))
My kids love hearty soups - that can also be made in advance or in an electric cooker. Serve water with dinner.
Hamburgers, chicken breast, stir-fries and other one-night food types should be completely avoided or only served as special treats or take-out. They need attention at the stove-top and leave no good leftovers. Not your thing.
Oftentimes a glass of milk and a piece of fruit is a good thing before bedtimes. But it could also be a cup of camomile tea with just a dash of milk and a teaspoonful of honey, and three almonds.
Maybe try baking bread and rolls with the children. That way you can get cheaper and more nourishing bread, and also keep them busy. It's a safe way to engage them, and they will enjoy the outcome regardless of how hard and strange-looking it is. After some training it will also be good. I had to take a deep breath and accept the huge mess the first time, but then I realized how giving it was and developed routines for controlling the chaos. Good bread and butter is a filling supplement to most meals, but industrial bread just makes you more hungry, and this effect is worse with teenagers. They can also help making salads, and in the weekends, deserts.
Food rituals are a great way to engage your kids. Be strict with the meal times (and bed times), minimize unplanned snacking and involve them in the making and they will find a safe space in everyday life. When you have those in place, introduce more routines and rituals - laying ones bed every morning, stretching out in a door-frame, saying grace, or if you are atheist, some other repeated saying or joke. Put out the clothes for tomorrow at night. Sing a little song before sleeping. Teach them the most important life wisdom of all: there is no always or never, every day is a new day with new opportunities for learning and improving. And while this may seem like a contradiction to the above: be consistent. Stay on course.
posted by mumimor at 11:39 PM on June 26, 2017 [3 favorites]
FOR FILLING UP/BASE FOOD/BREAD REPLACEMENT: White rice is one of the least allergenic foods available. It also freezes well, especially in small packets. If you have a rice cooker, use it. (If you don't, one can be bought cheaply online, or in your local Chinatown.) If that doesn't work, you can also buy old-fashioned rice and cook it. When it's done, scoop a cupful into wax paper. Then put a bunch of these in a plastic bag and freeze. To defrost, use a microwave to soften or just shove them in a frying pan with some oil. If some don't like rice, you can replace it with pasta, wheat or rice-based. Rice has added protein these days; buy the highest protein you can find. Goya is one of the cheapest and more reliable brands in the States; it probably ships to Canada too.
FOR PROTEIN: If you all can eat eggs, dump in 2 or 3 for 4 cups of rice, and stir well, adding more oil if you need it. If you can't have eggs, add beans. If you can't have beans, add chicken or some other kind of meat or fish. If you can eat nuts, add nuts.
FOR VITAMINS: Then dump in vegetables of your choice: frozen or fresh peppers, broccoli, carrots, haricots, peas, whatever you like. If you can eat citrus, frying in segments of lime, lemon or orange is excellent.
Keep frying/sauteeing until everything's unfrozen and hot.
FOR TOPPINGS: If you can eat soy sauce, top with that. If that doesn't work, powdered ginger and lemon is good. So is hot sauce. If you can eat peanut butter, add some to the soy sauce, to make a Thai style topping. Be creative, or use what you have, try to have fun.
TOTAL TIME: From freezer to plate, about 25 minutes.
*************************
OTHER MEAL IDEAS: French toast, with one egg per slice, and only a little milk is high protein. Top with frozen berries. If you don't have berries, substitute jam. If sweets are okay, add syrup. Extra slices of French Toast can be frozen. Quick crepes: 1 cup flour (any kind, but like rice, the rice version, from Goya again, comes fortified these days, get that kind), 2 eggs, 1 cup milk (powdered + real; water + creme, boxed, any kind), stir, dump a bit into a frying pan, turn once, and you're done. For three people of varying sizes, double the recipe. Extra crepes can be frozen if separated with wax paper. If you want to make French toast or crepes more of a treat, sprinkled unsweetened cocoa on top with a fork.
OTHER COMPACT FROZEN BASES: Tortillas (wheat or corn) can be used as a wrap base, to make actual tortillas, and to use to scoop dips. So can big pieces of lettuce, pita bread, and (savory or sweet) pancakes/crepes, which again can be made of wheat, high-protein white rice, or some other flour. All of these items are thin, and can be frozen, including the lettuce, I believe. (For anything that might stick together, stick wax paper between individual slices.)
FROZEN PROTEIN AND VEGGIES: Bases can be interchangeably topped with eggs, vegetables, meat, cheese, fish, nuts, and cheese Always keep LOTS of frozen vegetables and berries on hand, powdered milk, and some "tasteless" protein powders, for emergencies. Also if you buy fresh produce, note what you see frozen at the supermarket. Everything they freeze, you can freeze, if you have extra you're not going to be using soon. Precooked meat like bacon, sausage and meatballs are also really handy: just check the ingredients list on meats, some have little but the item in it; some are loaded with gluten and other things you may not want to serve. There's also a whole world of dried meat: sausage, for example, and that old standby, pepperoni
*************************
BACK-UP FOODS SHOPPING LIST
*rice (huge bag if possible)
*flour (real or substitute)
*eggs (24 count, if possible)
*powdered milk
frozen veggies (as many kinds as you can find)
tortillas (corn or wheat)
*pre-cooked meats (as many kinds as you can find)
*dried meats (as many kinds as are safe for you)
*string cheese, cheese slices, supermarket brand cheese, (buy in bulk, and store in fridge; these don't go bad)
*protein powder (neutral tasting, to sneak into foods, as necessary)
frozen berries (whatever's cheap)
jam
*pasta (real or substitute), several packages
*nuts and nut butters, if you can eat them
canned tomatoes (baby canned tomatoes make a good sauce all by themselves),
*high-protein canned soups (check the back; things called "hearty" are usually higher protein; the highest I've seen is about 12 grams of protein per serving),
*canned chicken, tuna, other seafood
wax paper (for freezing)
gallon-size plastic bags (for freezing)
single-portion freezable storage containers
ginger
lime or lemon juice (or actual limes and lemons)
soy sauce
unsweetened cocoa
other sauces, so you don't get bored
olive oil for frying/sauteeing
_________________________
*asterisk = high protein or high protein possible depending on brand
posted by Violet Blue at 12:33 AM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
FOR PROTEIN: If you all can eat eggs, dump in 2 or 3 for 4 cups of rice, and stir well, adding more oil if you need it. If you can't have eggs, add beans. If you can't have beans, add chicken or some other kind of meat or fish. If you can eat nuts, add nuts.
FOR VITAMINS: Then dump in vegetables of your choice: frozen or fresh peppers, broccoli, carrots, haricots, peas, whatever you like. If you can eat citrus, frying in segments of lime, lemon or orange is excellent.
Keep frying/sauteeing until everything's unfrozen and hot.
FOR TOPPINGS: If you can eat soy sauce, top with that. If that doesn't work, powdered ginger and lemon is good. So is hot sauce. If you can eat peanut butter, add some to the soy sauce, to make a Thai style topping. Be creative, or use what you have, try to have fun.
TOTAL TIME: From freezer to plate, about 25 minutes.
*************************
OTHER MEAL IDEAS: French toast, with one egg per slice, and only a little milk is high protein. Top with frozen berries. If you don't have berries, substitute jam. If sweets are okay, add syrup. Extra slices of French Toast can be frozen. Quick crepes: 1 cup flour (any kind, but like rice, the rice version, from Goya again, comes fortified these days, get that kind), 2 eggs, 1 cup milk (powdered + real; water + creme, boxed, any kind), stir, dump a bit into a frying pan, turn once, and you're done. For three people of varying sizes, double the recipe. Extra crepes can be frozen if separated with wax paper. If you want to make French toast or crepes more of a treat, sprinkled unsweetened cocoa on top with a fork.
OTHER COMPACT FROZEN BASES: Tortillas (wheat or corn) can be used as a wrap base, to make actual tortillas, and to use to scoop dips. So can big pieces of lettuce, pita bread, and (savory or sweet) pancakes/crepes, which again can be made of wheat, high-protein white rice, or some other flour. All of these items are thin, and can be frozen, including the lettuce, I believe. (For anything that might stick together, stick wax paper between individual slices.)
FROZEN PROTEIN AND VEGGIES: Bases can be interchangeably topped with eggs, vegetables, meat, cheese, fish, nuts, and cheese Always keep LOTS of frozen vegetables and berries on hand, powdered milk, and some "tasteless" protein powders, for emergencies. Also if you buy fresh produce, note what you see frozen at the supermarket. Everything they freeze, you can freeze, if you have extra you're not going to be using soon. Precooked meat like bacon, sausage and meatballs are also really handy: just check the ingredients list on meats, some have little but the item in it; some are loaded with gluten and other things you may not want to serve. There's also a whole world of dried meat: sausage, for example, and that old standby, pepperoni
*************************
BACK-UP FOODS SHOPPING LIST
*rice (huge bag if possible)
*flour (real or substitute)
*eggs (24 count, if possible)
*powdered milk
frozen veggies (as many kinds as you can find)
tortillas (corn or wheat)
*pre-cooked meats (as many kinds as you can find)
*dried meats (as many kinds as are safe for you)
*string cheese, cheese slices, supermarket brand cheese, (buy in bulk, and store in fridge; these don't go bad)
*protein powder (neutral tasting, to sneak into foods, as necessary)
frozen berries (whatever's cheap)
jam
*pasta (real or substitute), several packages
*nuts and nut butters, if you can eat them
canned tomatoes (baby canned tomatoes make a good sauce all by themselves),
*high-protein canned soups (check the back; things called "hearty" are usually higher protein; the highest I've seen is about 12 grams of protein per serving),
*canned chicken, tuna, other seafood
wax paper (for freezing)
gallon-size plastic bags (for freezing)
single-portion freezable storage containers
ginger
lime or lemon juice (or actual limes and lemons)
soy sauce
unsweetened cocoa
other sauces, so you don't get bored
olive oil for frying/sauteeing
_________________________
*asterisk = high protein or high protein possible depending on brand
posted by Violet Blue at 12:33 AM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you need to cook when the kids are asleep, a slow cooker could be a big help, and maybe would even work for daytime? Bonus is that it makes many meats fork-tender, so you won't need a knife, and won't heat up your kitchen Chicken/potato/carrots, just keep it super basic within your allergy restrictions.
Absolutely. Speaks to your roast example too. I have different knife issues but I love my basic crockpot for making chicken. Can also make & freeze so you can reheat for future meals.
posted by TravellingCari at 10:03 AM on June 27, 2017
Absolutely. Speaks to your roast example too. I have different knife issues but I love my basic crockpot for making chicken. Can also make & freeze so you can reheat for future meals.
posted by TravellingCari at 10:03 AM on June 27, 2017
Response by poster: Thank you. There are some great ideas here. Just to be clear, I do have a number of supports and I am maximizing what I am allowed. I was supposed to have more childcare support for the summer and it has fallen through, so I am trying to work through what I have, while streaming on more help.
I managed to throw some milk and cheese in the freezer. Yes, I know kids will come around and eat when they are hungry, but there are too many other risks if I don't keep everyone fed, so this is not a typical picky eater situation where they are just going to get fussy or walk off in a huff.
I am going to see if I can find a crockpot that also does rice. I think I can probably start keeping a litre or two of milk in the freezer and then maybe we can get out of this constant challenge. There are so many factors and it really starts feeling disordered, but I guess that is the reality - there are a lot of challenges here that most people do not have. I really appreciate the outpouring of support and the PMs. There's a ton of info in here, so I'm just going to pick a couple of things and start working through it. I will maybe do a follow up question that addresses specific food items that work for all of us. I am finding that part really hard. My doctor told me to go to a dietitian but I seriously don't have the time and money to throw at that and need some hivemind answers. :)
Thanks.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 11:38 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]
I managed to throw some milk and cheese in the freezer. Yes, I know kids will come around and eat when they are hungry, but there are too many other risks if I don't keep everyone fed, so this is not a typical picky eater situation where they are just going to get fussy or walk off in a huff.
I am going to see if I can find a crockpot that also does rice. I think I can probably start keeping a litre or two of milk in the freezer and then maybe we can get out of this constant challenge. There are so many factors and it really starts feeling disordered, but I guess that is the reality - there are a lot of challenges here that most people do not have. I really appreciate the outpouring of support and the PMs. There's a ton of info in here, so I'm just going to pick a couple of things and start working through it. I will maybe do a follow up question that addresses specific food items that work for all of us. I am finding that part really hard. My doctor told me to go to a dietitian but I seriously don't have the time and money to throw at that and need some hivemind answers. :)
Thanks.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 11:38 AM on June 27, 2017 [4 favorites]
I know everyone talks about instant pot, but instant pot does rice and has a slowcooker setting.
Also if you can't chop meat, roasts that you are going to slow cook until they can be shredded with a fork work! Root veg , rice, shelf-stable tofu if you can find it, things that can be cooked till fork-tender or start out not needing cutting and are shelf stable.
My sympathies and admiration.
posted by pearshaped at 12:07 PM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
Also if you can't chop meat, roasts that you are going to slow cook until they can be shredded with a fork work! Root veg , rice, shelf-stable tofu if you can find it, things that can be cooked till fork-tender or start out not needing cutting and are shelf stable.
My sympathies and admiration.
posted by pearshaped at 12:07 PM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
In bang for buck, Instant Pot is your best best. And it's a Canadian product! They have great customer service and many people are blogging recipes with instructions meant specifically for that brand.
My preference, when I had the money to spend, was to have the Instant Pot on one hand and a super-fancy Asian-style rice cooker. Zojirushi is considered best of breed, but the Cuckoo and Tiger brands are also comparable and cheaper, plus there's the much cheaper Aroma (higher tech, lower tech) models. That way I could be cranking out a bunch of protein in the pressure cooker, and then rice (or a million other things, rice cookers are as amazing as pressure cookers in their own way) going simultaneously. But rice is certainly do-able in the Instant Pot.
The upside of using enclosed cookers like that is that you can, if you have to, lock them in your bedroom or bathroom while they run.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:13 PM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
My preference, when I had the money to spend, was to have the Instant Pot on one hand and a super-fancy Asian-style rice cooker. Zojirushi is considered best of breed, but the Cuckoo and Tiger brands are also comparable and cheaper, plus there's the much cheaper Aroma (higher tech, lower tech) models. That way I could be cranking out a bunch of protein in the pressure cooker, and then rice (or a million other things, rice cookers are as amazing as pressure cookers in their own way) going simultaneously. But rice is certainly do-able in the Instant Pot.
The upside of using enclosed cookers like that is that you can, if you have to, lock them in your bedroom or bathroom while they run.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:13 PM on June 27, 2017 [3 favorites]
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posted by donnagirl at 10:48 AM on June 26, 2017 [2 favorites]