Toddler Batman wants to be helpful
April 10, 2017 12:17 PM Subscribe
Our son (just turned three) loves superheros and always wants his character to help people and animals. My husband and I are usually assigned to be co-heros (Robin, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc.), but usually also assigned to be the ones in need of help. Help me with ideas of what our "problems" might be! I feel so uncreative...
The conversation sometimes goes like this:
Toddler Batman: Spider-Mommy, I am Batman! What do you need help with!?
Spider-Mommy: Um, I'm stuck in a tree!
TB: Okay! I will help you!
[Helps me get out of a tree! Success!]
But sometimes like this:
TB: I am Batman! What do you need help with?
S-M: Um, I can't get the dog to listen!
TB: No, no. That's not a thing (he actually said that yesterday, on his 3rd birthday).
S-M: Oh. Um [insert second unacceptable answer]
TB: I can't help with THAT.
S-M:
TB: Up, up and AWAY!
In the superhero books (he doesn't watch TV yet, really, just a few YouTube episodes that mostly frighten him), it's always a villain robbing a bank or stealing jewels or other valuables, which is fine, but what else might be fun and not too scary? Timmy fell down a well type stuff?
This is a really bright kid and understands far more nuanced stuff than I would have expected.
Yesterday, we were at my in-laws' and this well-meaning but kind of annoying neighbor kept asking him if he had a girlfriend (again, he turned three yesterday). Here's what he said:
Neighbor: Do you have a girlfriend?
Toddler: [Confused look]
Neighbor: Do you have a girlfriend at school?
Toddler: [tentative] no...
Neighbor: Is Mommy your girlfriend?
Toddler: Actually, Mommy is a woman. And she goes to work, not my school.
So: Help me with what our "problems" might be!
The conversation sometimes goes like this:
Toddler Batman: Spider-Mommy, I am Batman! What do you need help with!?
Spider-Mommy: Um, I'm stuck in a tree!
TB: Okay! I will help you!
[Helps me get out of a tree! Success!]
But sometimes like this:
TB: I am Batman! What do you need help with?
S-M: Um, I can't get the dog to listen!
TB: No, no. That's not a thing (he actually said that yesterday, on his 3rd birthday).
S-M: Oh. Um [insert second unacceptable answer]
TB: I can't help with THAT.
S-M:
TB: Up, up and AWAY!
In the superhero books (he doesn't watch TV yet, really, just a few YouTube episodes that mostly frighten him), it's always a villain robbing a bank or stealing jewels or other valuables, which is fine, but what else might be fun and not too scary? Timmy fell down a well type stuff?
This is a really bright kid and understands far more nuanced stuff than I would have expected.
Yesterday, we were at my in-laws' and this well-meaning but kind of annoying neighbor kept asking him if he had a girlfriend (again, he turned three yesterday). Here's what he said:
Neighbor: Do you have a girlfriend?
Toddler: [Confused look]
Neighbor: Do you have a girlfriend at school?
Toddler: [tentative] no...
Neighbor: Is Mommy your girlfriend?
Toddler: Actually, Mommy is a woman. And she goes to work, not my school.
So: Help me with what our "problems" might be!
Best answer: My almost theee year old loves finding "lost" things. I "lose" a lot of things so she can find them.
posted by missjenny at 12:29 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by missjenny at 12:29 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: * You fell in an icy pond.
* Something caught on fire while you were cooking.
* The bridge you take to work collapsed, and you need a superhero to carry your car across a river.
* You got caught in a riptide.
* You got hurt hiking and need help getting back down the mountain.
Sorry if this gives your toddler anxiety. :-/
Also your question makes me want children.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 12:32 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
* Something caught on fire while you were cooking.
* The bridge you take to work collapsed, and you need a superhero to carry your car across a river.
* You got caught in a riptide.
* You got hurt hiking and need help getting back down the mountain.
Sorry if this gives your toddler anxiety. :-/
Also your question makes me want children.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 12:32 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: schroedingersgirl and other answerers - these are perfect (and I am so unimaginative!). He's not at all an anxious kid, I think the scary factor has to do with visuals (mean, angry-looking villains in books and videos) and sounds (scary voices, minor-key/scary music in videos).
posted by Pax at 12:38 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Pax at 12:38 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: There needs to be QUICKSAND.
posted by kindall at 12:43 PM on April 10, 2017 [18 favorites]
posted by kindall at 12:43 PM on April 10, 2017 [18 favorites]
Best answer: This could be a fun way to incorporate real helping into imaginative play. Maybe try something like "We can't drive the bat-mobile until we pick up all these toys on the floor!" or "Oh no, all this silverware got mixed up in the dishwasher and I need help putting it back in the right place!"
posted by galvanized unicorn at 12:48 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by galvanized unicorn at 12:48 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I've often been put in the role of the Joker and had Batman foil my plans to steal all the jewels at the museum. (In one memorable game, apparently I'd stolen all the crafts from the museum and Batman made me feel better about having that plan foiled by giving me a gem.)
So this goes along with the standard ones you'd listed but you could be the museum owner whose paintings have been stolen by the bad guys. Or the bank manager who has just been robbed.
If you have pets, there is always something like 'the cat needs his dinner' or 'the cat has escaped'.
posted by machine at 12:49 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
So this goes along with the standard ones you'd listed but you could be the museum owner whose paintings have been stolen by the bad guys. Or the bank manager who has just been robbed.
If you have pets, there is always something like 'the cat needs his dinner' or 'the cat has escaped'.
posted by machine at 12:49 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Has he learned yet that the floor is made of lava?
posted by shiny blue object at 12:51 PM on April 10, 2017 [17 favorites]
posted by shiny blue object at 12:51 PM on April 10, 2017 [17 favorites]
Best answer: -I am having trouble catching all the lost ducklings! Can you help me, Batman? (The ducklings should be pretend)
-repeat for puppies, kittens, ponies, etc
-There is a leprechaun that has hidden my car keys! Can you help me find them? They are somewhere in this room
-I am being eaten by a couch monster
-Daddy got turned into a robot! Can you help turn him back again with hugs? (helps if father makes beep boop blork noises)
-The Penguin took away my ability to run really fast! Can you re-teach me how to do it?
-Poison Ivy said mean things to all our plants and now they are sad. Can you help me cheer them up by singing songs?
-Two-Face stole all the zoo animals! Can you make all the animal noises so they will come back home?
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:55 PM on April 10, 2017 [13 favorites]
-repeat for puppies, kittens, ponies, etc
-There is a leprechaun that has hidden my car keys! Can you help me find them? They are somewhere in this room
-I am being eaten by a couch monster
-Daddy got turned into a robot! Can you help turn him back again with hugs? (helps if father makes beep boop blork noises)
-The Penguin took away my ability to run really fast! Can you re-teach me how to do it?
-Poison Ivy said mean things to all our plants and now they are sad. Can you help me cheer them up by singing songs?
-Two-Face stole all the zoo animals! Can you make all the animal noises so they will come back home?
posted by a fiendish thingy at 12:55 PM on April 10, 2017 [13 favorites]
Best answer: Timmy fell down a well type stuff?
No, OMG, Timmy and Lassie's adventure (and real-life counterparts) scared the snot out of me at that age.
You're a great mom.
posted by JimN2TAW at 1:00 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
No, OMG, Timmy and Lassie's adventure (and real-life counterparts) scared the snot out of me at that age.
You're a great mom.
posted by JimN2TAW at 1:00 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Best answer: My 3yo is newly obsessed with Paw Patrol and we play very similar games ad nauseum now. There are 160+ ideas on this page that you can steal from this very silly show where all the characters do is helpfully rescue things in 11 min increments!
- A captain's boat runs aground your hero must save it before it sinks!
- It's nearing winter and your hero must bring in the crops at the farm before they freeze!
- A nest of baby sea turtles hatched across the street and your hero must make sure the baby sea turtles safely reach the ocean!
- Your hero must save a train from a rockslide!
- etc etc etc etc oh my god there are so many episodes
Happy rescuing! It's funnest for me if I can both have these problems AND can be rescued from them while lying on the couch.
posted by sestaaak at 1:12 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]
- A captain's boat runs aground your hero must save it before it sinks!
- It's nearing winter and your hero must bring in the crops at the farm before they freeze!
- A nest of baby sea turtles hatched across the street and your hero must make sure the baby sea turtles safely reach the ocean!
- Your hero must save a train from a rockslide!
- etc etc etc etc oh my god there are so many episodes
Happy rescuing! It's funnest for me if I can both have these problems AND can be rescued from them while lying on the couch.
posted by sestaaak at 1:12 PM on April 10, 2017 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Read him The Princess in Black (it's long for the age, but my 3yo LOOOOOVES it) and then need him to battle monsters on your behalf. That's a good reference book for monsters because the monsters are big and slightly intimidating but also funny and brightly colored and not actually that dangerous. Plus the attacks have hilarious names. My house is full of small people running around shouting "twinkle twinkle little SMASH!"
Aside from that, there's the infinite and always funny formula "A [silly animal] is [doing thing] to my [object]!".
HELP! A hippopotamus is eating my toast! A tree shrew is nibbling my foot! An octopus has stolen my sock! A baboon is drawing on the wall! A rhinoceros is about to poke my bohuncus! A squid has invaded the refrigerator!
Supplement with stuffed toys and household props as appropriate.
posted by telepanda at 1:14 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Aside from that, there's the infinite and always funny formula "A [silly animal] is [doing thing] to my [object]!".
HELP! A hippopotamus is eating my toast! A tree shrew is nibbling my foot! An octopus has stolen my sock! A baboon is drawing on the wall! A rhinoceros is about to poke my bohuncus! A squid has invaded the refrigerator!
Supplement with stuffed toys and household props as appropriate.
posted by telepanda at 1:14 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Best answer: This is the cutest question ever.
Does he like sneaking around? Maybe one parent could be a villain guarding some prisoners (stuffed animals, etc), and you can point out that he's fallen asleep, or is otherwise occupied -- if the heroes sneak by him veeerrrry quietly they can get to the prisoners and release them! Villain: "I'm going to take a quick nap! Good thing there aren't any superheroes around to rescue you, mwahaha!" And then the villain will be very surprised when he wakes up and the prisoners are all gone! Curse you, Batman!
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 1:21 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Does he like sneaking around? Maybe one parent could be a villain guarding some prisoners (stuffed animals, etc), and you can point out that he's fallen asleep, or is otherwise occupied -- if the heroes sneak by him veeerrrry quietly they can get to the prisoners and release them! Villain: "I'm going to take a quick nap! Good thing there aren't any superheroes around to rescue you, mwahaha!" And then the villain will be very surprised when he wakes up and the prisoners are all gone! Curse you, Batman!
posted by shapes that haunt the dusk at 1:21 PM on April 10, 2017 [2 favorites]
Best answer: We're 2.5 and we primarily get stuck - mostly on holes or in poop (he stepped in a cow party on a farm a few weekends ago)....
We also run into lots of dragons! There's lots of hiding and rescuing from and scaring off - we spray them with the hoses on our firetruck (which is especially good if daddy is the dragon and makes lots of sputtering noises). I think the dragons came from watching a Chip 'n' Dale cartoon.
We spend a lot of time rescuing and hiding our cars and toy animals...
posted by jrobin276 at 2:38 PM on April 10, 2017
We also run into lots of dragons! There's lots of hiding and rescuing from and scaring off - we spray them with the hoses on our firetruck (which is especially good if daddy is the dragon and makes lots of sputtering noises). I think the dragons came from watching a Chip 'n' Dale cartoon.
We spend a lot of time rescuing and hiding our cars and toy animals...
posted by jrobin276 at 2:38 PM on April 10, 2017
Best answer: As the villain, I'm usually tasked with stealing [valuable item, probably magic] while the superhero is looking the other way. I then take it off to my lair (the couch) where I take a nap until the superhero retrieves the item and locks me in jail. Imagine my chagrin upon waking to find myself back in jail! So I break out and steal the item again, and this time arrange a more clever trap (e.g. piling pillows in a doorway) to slow down the superhero (extending my villainous nap).
posted by nickmark at 3:04 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by nickmark at 3:04 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: It sounds like it doesn't matter if the problems are specific to the superheroes your son wants you to play, but in case he might think it's fun if they are:
Spider-Man problems:
- Web shooters are stuck/broken
- Accidentally got stuck in his own spiderweb :(
Robin problems:
- Forgot how to do a somersault; needs someone to show him how
- Lost his way to the Batcave
- Forgot the password to the Batcomputer
- Needs help taking Catwoman (or the Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, etc.) to jail
Wonder Woman problems:
- Needs help untying a knot in her Lasso of Truth
- Can't run fast enough to catch the Cheetah
posted by honey wheat at 3:14 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Spider-Man problems:
- Web shooters are stuck/broken
- Accidentally got stuck in his own spiderweb :(
Robin problems:
- Forgot how to do a somersault; needs someone to show him how
- Lost his way to the Batcave
- Forgot the password to the Batcomputer
- Needs help taking Catwoman (or the Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, etc.) to jail
Wonder Woman problems:
- Needs help untying a knot in her Lasso of Truth
- Can't run fast enough to catch the Cheetah
posted by honey wheat at 3:14 PM on April 10, 2017 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: These are so awesome, you guys are so fun and awesome!
I'm going to actually have to print them out/write them on my eyelides because I read like half of them and then was presented with "what do you need help with?" about an hour ago, and I blanked and all I could come up with was the fixing the bridge one but he said Super Scooper doesn't fix bridges (he threw me for a loop because the "superhero" he was protraying at the moment was "Super Scoop the Backhoe." I bet Batman would have helped fix that bridge.)
posted by Pax at 4:55 PM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]
I'm going to actually have to print them out/write them on my eyelides because I read like half of them and then was presented with "what do you need help with?" about an hour ago, and I blanked and all I could come up with was the fixing the bridge one but he said Super Scooper doesn't fix bridges (he threw me for a loop because the "superhero" he was protraying at the moment was "Super Scoop the Backhoe." I bet Batman would have helped fix that bridge.)
posted by Pax at 4:55 PM on April 10, 2017 [6 favorites]
Best answer: Scary animals that can then be befriended? "Oh, no, the bear is going to attack those hikers! Quick, save the hikers and then discover that the bear was actually just protecting her cubs, so do something to make sure no one bothers the cubs." Something like that.
posted by LizardBreath at 5:41 AM on April 11, 2017
posted by LizardBreath at 5:41 AM on April 11, 2017
Best answer: I'm going to actually have to print them out
You should! And then pull them out of a designated Hero Hat!
posted by sestaaak at 6:11 AM on April 11, 2017
You should! And then pull them out of a designated Hero Hat!
posted by sestaaak at 6:11 AM on April 11, 2017
Best answer: Tangled up in a giant ball of string
Stuck in a lake of glue
Lost in a forest
Haven't been hugged enough today
posted by bunderful at 9:07 AM on April 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Stuck in a lake of glue
Lost in a forest
Haven't been hugged enough today
posted by bunderful at 9:07 AM on April 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Best answer: There seem to be rules about what kinds of problems superheroes can help with. (Maybe different rules for different heroes? Maybe different rules for other random reasons?)
When he says, "Hero doesn't do that" have you tried asking what kind of problems the hero does help with? Or another response that asks him to fill in the details - like "I went outside and saw something so scary now I need help - what do you think I saw?"
posted by metahawk at 10:18 AM on April 11, 2017
When he says, "Hero doesn't do that" have you tried asking what kind of problems the hero does help with? Or another response that asks him to fill in the details - like "I went outside and saw something so scary now I need help - what do you think I saw?"
posted by metahawk at 10:18 AM on April 11, 2017
Best answer: I mean, if I had a broken bridge, I'd call a crane rather than a backhoe too. :) If I had a polar bear stuck in quicksand, on the other hand....
My kids are often unrealistic, but usually logical. They often seem to live in a parallel universe. The things your kid says make sense to me in that light. The more you can train yourself to jump into his parallel universes, the better.
It's something you can pick up with practice as you get scolded that you're Doing It Wrong with various pretend scenarios. His universe clearly has rules. That could actually be a fun way to draw him out in conversation. "If I was Super Scoop the Backhoe, I would [do thing]. What do you do when you're Super Scoop the Backhoe? Oh, you'd move a mountain? Gosh, that seems like it would be heavy. How would you break the mountain into little rocks that your scoop could lift?"
Finally, being scolded by 3 year olds for not understanding their weird logic is part of the joy of having a 3 year old. You don't have to get it right all the time. On the contrary, it's part of the fun.
posted by telepanda at 11:24 AM on April 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
My kids are often unrealistic, but usually logical. They often seem to live in a parallel universe. The things your kid says make sense to me in that light. The more you can train yourself to jump into his parallel universes, the better.
It's something you can pick up with practice as you get scolded that you're Doing It Wrong with various pretend scenarios. His universe clearly has rules. That could actually be a fun way to draw him out in conversation. "If I was Super Scoop the Backhoe, I would [do thing]. What do you do when you're Super Scoop the Backhoe? Oh, you'd move a mountain? Gosh, that seems like it would be heavy. How would you break the mountain into little rocks that your scoop could lift?"
Finally, being scolded by 3 year olds for not understanding their weird logic is part of the joy of having a 3 year old. You don't have to get it right all the time. On the contrary, it's part of the fun.
posted by telepanda at 11:24 AM on April 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: ..being scolded by 3 year olds for not understanding their weird logic is part of the joy of having a 3 year old. You don't have to get it right all the time. On the contrary, it's part of the fun.
Oh, yes. Age 2 was super-fun and his imagination and creativity just keep making it more fun. I can see a little teenage in him: "Mo-om!" with eye roll :)
Thank you everyone - these really are great.
posted by Pax at 11:30 AM on April 11, 2017
Oh, yes. Age 2 was super-fun and his imagination and creativity just keep making it more fun. I can see a little teenage in him: "Mo-om!" with eye roll :)
Thank you everyone - these really are great.
posted by Pax at 11:30 AM on April 11, 2017
Not to be a scold, but please don't teach your little superhero to be afraid of sharks! Sharks need are help and Little Superhero needs to grow up loving and not fearing the ocean.
Signed,
Still Scared To Death Of Snakes
posted by 2soxy4mypuppet at 9:08 PM on April 11, 2017
Signed,
Still Scared To Death Of Snakes
posted by 2soxy4mypuppet at 9:08 PM on April 11, 2017
Response by poster: Not to be a scold, but please don't teach your little superhero to be afraid of sharks! Sharks need are help and Little Superhero needs to grow up loving and not fearing the ocean.
Oh, totally. I'm finding that the superhero books do a pretty good job of this. Instead of "sharks are bad and scary," it's more like "the villain tricked this shark/octopus/starfish into being scary, but Aquaman can talk to him and figure out what's going on!" We've been very deliberate about not doing "eek! Bats/bugs/mice/snakes" etc. while reading the kid-friendly scientific specifics about animals that are, let's be honest, dangerous (bears, sharks, snakes, etc). Nat Geo book/magazines for kids is really good for this (now if we could only control OTHER peoples' comments about how bad/scary stuff in nature is...
posted by Pax at 6:06 AM on April 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
Oh, totally. I'm finding that the superhero books do a pretty good job of this. Instead of "sharks are bad and scary," it's more like "the villain tricked this shark/octopus/starfish into being scary, but Aquaman can talk to him and figure out what's going on!" We've been very deliberate about not doing "eek! Bats/bugs/mice/snakes" etc. while reading the kid-friendly scientific specifics about animals that are, let's be honest, dangerous (bears, sharks, snakes, etc). Nat Geo book/magazines for kids is really good for this (now if we could only control OTHER peoples' comments about how bad/scary stuff in nature is...
posted by Pax at 6:06 AM on April 12, 2017 [1 favorite]
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