How to revive a dead conversation?
April 3, 2017 11:53 PM Subscribe
I'm currently looking for a new job, and am trying to network. I was contacted, or I contacted people about some perfect opportunities arose, but the conversations with those people went cold. How can I revive these conversations without sounding desperate?
Recently someone from a company I would like to work for contacted me about doing some freelance work for them, and they were going to be visiting my current company's office soon on somewhat unrelated business, and wanted to talk to me. Unfortunately the office they were visiting was actually a different location to where I work, so it was impossible for me to see them then. I informed them of this and suggested meeting another place, and now no response.
Also a while ago I contacted someone at another company I was interested in working for, he said we could meet up and talk about it. But was suggesting times and locations that I couldn't make, like during the day (when I'm working) and on the other side of the city, so couldn't even go in my lunch hour. Again, conversation went cold.
As far as I can tell I'm not saying anything that would give off red flags, but this kind of thing makes me wonder if I am. How can I pick back up on these text conversations without coming across as desperate or unhinged? And any tips on networking and keeping these conversations going in the first place would be great.
These would be perfect opportunities for me, so I really would like to persue them if at all possible, but I just feel like I'm frozen in case I say something stupid that ruins my chances.
Recently someone from a company I would like to work for contacted me about doing some freelance work for them, and they were going to be visiting my current company's office soon on somewhat unrelated business, and wanted to talk to me. Unfortunately the office they were visiting was actually a different location to where I work, so it was impossible for me to see them then. I informed them of this and suggested meeting another place, and now no response.
Also a while ago I contacted someone at another company I was interested in working for, he said we could meet up and talk about it. But was suggesting times and locations that I couldn't make, like during the day (when I'm working) and on the other side of the city, so couldn't even go in my lunch hour. Again, conversation went cold.
As far as I can tell I'm not saying anything that would give off red flags, but this kind of thing makes me wonder if I am. How can I pick back up on these text conversations without coming across as desperate or unhinged? And any tips on networking and keeping these conversations going in the first place would be great.
These would be perfect opportunities for me, so I really would like to persue them if at all possible, but I just feel like I'm frozen in case I say something stupid that ruins my chances.
For the first one you could say, "Hi McGee, I hope you had a good visit to [other office]. It's a shame we could not catch up then. I would still be interesting in meeting up if you have the time".
Again, I'd probably leave it if the conversation drops again.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 1:40 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
Again, I'd probably leave it if the conversation drops again.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 1:40 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
For both of them, reply to the last email (the one each person didn't respond to) and say "Hi Person, just following up on this. Is there a time that's good for you to talk? Thanks, iamcrispy"
If you feel like you must add social frosting to your networking cake, em>"Hi Person; hope you're well. I'm just following up on this. Is there a time that's good for you to talk? Thanks, iamcrispy"
The point about the social frosting is that it isn't genuine. You don't care how I am. And I don't want to tell you and then ask how you are, because I don't care how you are either. I just want to get you out of my Inbox as fast as possible with the quickest reply sufficient to the ask.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:14 AM on April 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
If you feel like you must add social frosting to your networking cake, em>"Hi Person; hope you're well. I'm just following up on this. Is there a time that's good for you to talk? Thanks, iamcrispy"
The point about the social frosting is that it isn't genuine. You don't care how I am. And I don't want to tell you and then ask how you are, because I don't care how you are either. I just want to get you out of my Inbox as fast as possible with the quickest reply sufficient to the ask.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:14 AM on April 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
If they've both suggested times and locations and you've just said no to their times and locations, maybe make your own suggestions. And if you really want to talk to them, you might consider taking a little extra time to accommodate them (tell your boss you have an errand to run and need to take a longer lunch and will work late to make it up, or whatever is acceptable for your workplace).
They are doing you a favor, and based on your respective working locations at least one of you will be inconvenienced by the meeting. In your shoes I'd take on the inconvenience and not ask them to do so.
posted by bunderful at 5:20 AM on April 4, 2017 [12 favorites]
They are doing you a favor, and based on your respective working locations at least one of you will be inconvenienced by the meeting. In your shoes I'd take on the inconvenience and not ask them to do so.
posted by bunderful at 5:20 AM on April 4, 2017 [12 favorites]
I do like kinddieserzeit's approach!
It's all about how you follow up - your goal is to come across as confident and interested in them. Being interested in someone doesn't mean that you are desperate - it just means that you're interested.
Do you have an online portfolio (personal Website or samples on LinkedIn) that they can refer to?
If so, you can include this in your message - something like "I know you must be busy - but if you do get a few minutes, take a look at some of the work i've done in the past to get a better idea of what I can do for you - when we do meet, we can then talk about your specific requirements..."
Also consider that many people are busy and need a friendly reminder to help them shift their priorities - if you make the decision easy on them, then you'll be the one they select. For example, maybe they don't have to decide on a freelancer right now, but you want to be the first one to come to mind when that time comes.
I've followed up on positions where I originally wasn't selected - and while in some cases, I didn't hear back, in two cases, I did hear back, and the response was positive, in that they told me that they appreciated me being proactive.
Good luck!
posted by bitteroldman at 7:18 AM on April 4, 2017
It's all about how you follow up - your goal is to come across as confident and interested in them. Being interested in someone doesn't mean that you are desperate - it just means that you're interested.
Do you have an online portfolio (personal Website or samples on LinkedIn) that they can refer to?
If so, you can include this in your message - something like "I know you must be busy - but if you do get a few minutes, take a look at some of the work i've done in the past to get a better idea of what I can do for you - when we do meet, we can then talk about your specific requirements..."
Also consider that many people are busy and need a friendly reminder to help them shift their priorities - if you make the decision easy on them, then you'll be the one they select. For example, maybe they don't have to decide on a freelancer right now, but you want to be the first one to come to mind when that time comes.
I've followed up on positions where I originally wasn't selected - and while in some cases, I didn't hear back, in two cases, I did hear back, and the response was positive, in that they told me that they appreciated me being proactive.
Good luck!
posted by bitteroldman at 7:18 AM on April 4, 2017
And any tips on networking and keeping these conversations going in the first place would be great.
Hiring freelancers is tricky because you want someone who will be available when you need them, but you know they have a job and/or other clients. So if you are putting yourself out there as a freelancer, you need to be flexible to show them you will be able to meet their needs in a timely manner. If you are not willing to take a long lunch or travel to the other side of the city in order to *get* the work, then they won't be confident that you will respond in a timely manner once you *have* the work.
So the next time you start a discussion about freelance work with a potential client, be willing to sacrifice a little (time, PTO, gas money) to get the gig. You gotta pay to play.
posted by headnsouth at 7:52 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
Hiring freelancers is tricky because you want someone who will be available when you need them, but you know they have a job and/or other clients. So if you are putting yourself out there as a freelancer, you need to be flexible to show them you will be able to meet their needs in a timely manner. If you are not willing to take a long lunch or travel to the other side of the city in order to *get* the work, then they won't be confident that you will respond in a timely manner once you *have* the work.
So the next time you start a discussion about freelance work with a potential client, be willing to sacrifice a little (time, PTO, gas money) to get the gig. You gotta pay to play.
posted by headnsouth at 7:52 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
I think the most likely issue is that these people are doing you a favor, but then you're trying to prioritize making it easy for yourself. For example, the guy suggesting times during the workday/on the other side of town is probably signalling that he wants to schedule this near his office and and during his regular schedule (he might have kids to pick up after work or just not like staying late to do a stranger a favor). When you're asking someone for a favor, you need to be the one to be flexible. Most likely this is going to mean taking some PTO or asking your boss if you can flex your time on occasion (for example, take a longer lunch but either come in early or stay late).
For example, in the case of the guy travelling to the other office, you could have offered to drive over and meet him for coffee after he was done with his unrelated meetings. Or, you could have offered to come to his office location for the interview if that day really could not work. You basically asked to move a job interview to a time/location that was less convenient for the company doing the hiring which is not really a winning strategy.
I would also suggest that if you are job hunting, try targeting companies where there are actual job openings/something to apply for. Networking is great and can open up opportunities, but you also want to be seeking out actual openings -- it's rare that companies will actually create a new position for someone (they would have to be really impressed PLUS actually have the budget and flexibility to do it). Again, you are going to have to be the one to be flexible -- you can't expect an interviewer to come to you or work around your work hours. But, when it's an interview for an actual job opening, I think it can be easier to swallow using your PTO than when it's just for a coffee conversation.
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:59 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
For example, in the case of the guy travelling to the other office, you could have offered to drive over and meet him for coffee after he was done with his unrelated meetings. Or, you could have offered to come to his office location for the interview if that day really could not work. You basically asked to move a job interview to a time/location that was less convenient for the company doing the hiring which is not really a winning strategy.
I would also suggest that if you are job hunting, try targeting companies where there are actual job openings/something to apply for. Networking is great and can open up opportunities, but you also want to be seeking out actual openings -- it's rare that companies will actually create a new position for someone (they would have to be really impressed PLUS actually have the budget and flexibility to do it). Again, you are going to have to be the one to be flexible -- you can't expect an interviewer to come to you or work around your work hours. But, when it's an interview for an actual job opening, I think it can be easier to swallow using your PTO than when it's just for a coffee conversation.
posted by rainbowbrite at 11:59 AM on April 4, 2017 [2 favorites]
As an employer, if I'm looking for folks to hire and I don't know them enough yet to really want them, I am going to prioritize meeting people who can all come to me where I am going to be based for the day, rather than accommodate going across town to meet a single candidate. It's not great I know but if you are looking to be the one hired for a position that there are other potential candidates for, unless you're singularly being courted, finding an excuse for an extra long lunch break and traveling to the other office at the hiring manager's reasonable convenience is on you.
posted by sestaaak at 3:59 PM on April 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by sestaaak at 3:59 PM on April 4, 2017 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
If they're still flakey or unaccommodating, maybe they're not serious and are not comfortable being up front about it.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 1:37 AM on April 4, 2017