Strategies for getting sh*t done while depressed

March 28, 2017 1:55 PM

For the last few months, I've been situationally depressed – I've been dealing with a breakup, shake-ups at work and other life stuff. I know that "this too shall pass" and I'm talking about all of this in therapy. HOWEVER, my therapist is not very good at giving me practical advice for keeping it together day-to-day, and that's what I'm asking about here.

I have the most trouble in the evenings after work. I know I should make myself a decent dinner, shower and maybe go to the gym – but instead I end up looking at Twitter for about half an hour, napping, then slapping some cheese on a tortilla or eating a PB&J for dinner, which isn't healthy or entirely filling. The next morning, it takes me about 20 minutes to actually roll out of bed after waking up, and then I'm super-late to work (like 40 minutes) because I'm just really slow at making coffee, breakfast, etc and I still have to shower.

Not EVERY day is that bad, but I have more days like that than I'd like. What are some practical suggestions for getting into more of a productive routine? For example, I'm thinking about putting my alarm clock on the other side of the room, or getting a programmable coffeemaker I can set up the night before. Stuff like that.

posted by cookiedough to Health & Fitness (21 answers total)

I have found that with serious depression, it's okay to give a little to get a little. Have you tried, say, Netflix bingeing on your phone while walking around and cleaning/cooking?
posted by corb at 2:10 PM on March 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

If at all possible, eat breakfast and have coffee at work. Put your alarm clock across the room, get up, shower if you really need to shower in the morning at all, clothes, leave. No more home coffee on workdays.

Stock assemblable meal-food for dinner. If for a few weeks until you get some momentum that means primarily frozen or prepared meals, so be it, at least get something with a vegetable in it. Pot pies, a couple of those deli tubs of hearty soup, a couple of frozen dinners. Decide what time is making-dinner-time and set an alarm on your phone.

Just survive a little better for a few weeks, and you should feel a little bit better and be able to do a little more.

No night naps. It's hard as hell, I know, but stay up until at least 9, assuming you're getting up in the 6-7 range. You either need to shower at night or in the morning, but unless you are working a sweaty job you don't need to do both. At the worst points of my depression, taking a shower would leave me unable to do anything but sleep, so doing it at bedtime (if that means sleeping with wet hair, get a haircut that can handle it) was my only option. But night-napping is making your situation worse.

Make sure you are getting actual daylight into your brain via the eyeballs, and ideally sunlight directly on your forearms (10-15 minutes max, which is enough for VitD but not enough for skin damage), every day.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:15 PM on March 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

For nighttime stuff, "Why the hell not, it's not like I actually care," is surprisingly effective for me. I arguably do a better job of at least going through the motions of having a healthy routine when depressed because nothing is enjoyable, so what difference does it make? Morning prep-work can be folded into this category, and then there's less to do the next day. It can also be tragically amusing to chart all the self-care things that don't help me (though sometimes they do, and tracking is useful there too).

Hopefully that's not too nihilistic for you.
posted by teremala at 2:17 PM on March 28, 2017 [8 favorites]

I've done the flylady system for ages and one of her big things is setting a timer for 15 min. Work for 15 min then rest for 15 min. I also belong to a few facebook groups where people do the 15 min thing together. If that is your kind of thing then go on facebook and search for "flylady bingo" or message me and I'll pass along info. When I am really dragging, I just declare it a 15 minute day, and chug through one thing at a time, 15 min at a time.
posted by selfmedicating at 2:25 PM on March 28, 2017 [3 favorites]

Lately I've been using an iPhone app called Productive and I've found it to be an interesting take on the old to-do-list + checklist + gamification of life goals genre. Basically what sets it apart is that it's semi-structured: you can set your tasks/goals as morning/afternoon/evening, any time during the day, or even any time/X times during the week. I've found this to be a a good middle ground between more rigid approaches (e.g., an alarm to take meds at 8:00 am, which doesn't always work because 8 am may not always be the perfect time to take your meds, or Tuesday may not always be the right day to go to the gym) and looser approaches (having everything in a big long list for the day or the week, which can be overwhelming). If you get all your tasks done for the day you get a "perfect" day on your calendar, which is a nice warm fuzzy, but even if you don't get everything you can build streaks of individual tasks, you can add to your total tasks completed for the month, boost your average successful tasks per day, etc.
posted by drlith at 2:29 PM on March 28, 2017 [6 favorites]

Going through similar right now and just for starters -- there's nothing wrong with PB&J, or half-ass quesadillas. (Or anyway there better not be, dammit!)

That said: go to the gym straight from work. That way, no nap. That way, you HAVE to shower when you get home. Then ta da, your showering is done, which cuts down your morning.

Do you have any money to throw at the problem? Pick up some pre-made or pre-assembled nighttime noshes. Cheese and olive/deli meat plates, salads, pre-cut and washed peppers or cucumbers or whatnot, to wrap up in that tortilla with the cheese. Even easier than PB&J and much more motivating. Probably more filling also.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 2:30 PM on March 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

When you wake up - try to get out of bed immediately. Can you grab coffee and breakfast on your way to work? I keep cliff bars and granola bars for days I'm running late, and we have coffee/tea at work so I just drink water while getting dressed if I'll be late otherwise. Keep some greek yogurt, hummus, and carrots in your fridge at work, some nuts and carby snacks in your desk.

Unless gym was a part of your life that you love and miss, I would just try walking as much as possible, a walk at lunch, a walk instead of a nap in the evening. I feel a million times better when I take a walk at lunch.

Half an hour of twitter sounds fine if you enjoy it, do you like music? Try playing music you find energizing at the same time.

Can you try a restorative yoga sequence instead and see if it energizes you a bit to get through the rest of the evening? There are lots of good sequences on youtube, you just need some pillows and a blanket to do them (but don't do it in bed)! Try to stop napping, keep moving, and then when you are truly exhausted go to bed for the night even if it's before 9, that'll help you wake up earlier.

I'm a single parent and I don't like cooking, here are some things I do for dinner (I tend to eat bigger lunches, I snack at 3 or 4, and try to eat smaller and earlier dinners):
-I have been loving frozen smoked salmon from costco (I'm in Canada fwiw), they come in individual-sized portions and are a good option that requires zero prep, I don't even thaw them in advance I just run water over the frozen pack when I want to eat. Salmon + cream cheese + crackers = a decent enough dinner, steam asparagus for bonus points.
-avocado + hummus on a pita
-lazy huevos rancheros: two eggs sunnyside up, served on tortilla chips and salsa
-tuna salad on rye and make enough for lunch the next day
-smoothie: full fat yogurt with frozen raspberries and a banana (good complement to pb&j sandwich)
-breakfast for dinner - oatmeal or pancakes or frenchtoast
-rice + whatever veggies on hand + premade turkey burger that I fry while the rice cooks
-cut a sweet potato into wedges, coat in oil and salt/pepper, bake for 40 minutes while cleaning up
-frozen pizza or a burrito, no shame in that once a week
-premade ravioli that I dress up with a fried pepper and onion, top with balsamic and pasta sauce
-get invited to a friend's for dinner (and bring a premade salad or dessert), or order takeout together

You might feel energized by showering in the morning but there's no reason you can't do the heavy lifting of hair washing/drying the night before, I do this a lot to save time in the morning when I'm not waking up early, you can still have a quick shower to feel fresh/awake if you want. Decide what you're wearing the night before and set it out.

If you wear makeup keep spares of your essentials at work so you can arrive on time and then take a few extra minutes in the washroom. Have your work bag ready to go the night before, mine has what I need and then I just throw my cell phone in and go.
posted by lafemma at 2:30 PM on March 28, 2017 [8 favorites]

Yes, the "you only have to do it for 15 minutes if you want" approach can be very helpful. Doesn't work so well for cooking, but in terms of cleaning and other chores, it's very good.

I am by no means a tidy housekeeper, but I do think keeping the tide of household chaos stemmed during these periods is important. At a certain point of mess, any brain gets despairing/overwhelmed.
posted by praemunire at 2:32 PM on March 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

A DBT tool you could try: with any task, do it slowly and narrate the sensations you experience as you go. So making dinner might be like, "I'm getting the greens out of the fridge. The air is cold. I'm walking to the counter. The floor is hard beneath my feet. The bag is kind of damp." (And so on.) The idea of this tool is that it takes you out of your thoughts and into the present moment. It also makes it easier to move forward, ime, because you're no longer focusing on the past or worrying about the future.
posted by purple_bird at 2:39 PM on March 28, 2017 [14 favorites]

I've found this site can help. You feel like shit.
posted by scalefree at 3:48 PM on March 28, 2017 [8 favorites]

Response by poster: I just wanted to jump in and thank everyone! These are exactly the kind of answers I was looking for, and I'm going to try some of these tips tonight and tomorrow AM.
posted by cookiedough at 4:19 PM on March 28, 2017 [1 favorite]

I find it helpful to make a commitment to an accountability buddy. "I will now step away from he computer and vacuum the foyer." The commitment helps me push forward into action, and once I'm acting it's easier to keep at it sometimes.

When I have trouble getting up in time for work, it's sometimes helpful to shower the night before. It also helps me to set an intention with an accountability buddy: "Tomorrow I will get to work by (time)." I have coffee and breakfast in the office while I check my email, which means less time needed to get around.

Normally I am all about the cooking with the fresh healthy produce, but when I'm having a rough time I give myself permission to buy frozen dinners and easy-to-eat no-cook things, like yogurt, hummus, pre-cut carrots. I also give myself permission to buy healthy treats that I know I'll want to eat even if I don't have much appetite - for me that's avocado, strawberries, stuff like that.

Good luck to you!
posted by bunderful at 4:47 PM on March 28, 2017 [1 favorite]

I find that listening to podcasts while making meals and doing chores makes me enjoy even the most boring tasks.
posted by misseva at 4:50 PM on March 28, 2017 [7 favorites]

I've watched my wife struggle with this. Mostly, she just summons up grit.

I think it's common to find that just starting is the hardest. Once you are off the snide, you can finish the task. Give yourself permission to stop after you gotten the necessary done.
posted by SemiSalt at 4:51 PM on March 28, 2017

I have a journal and I just note what I did. Shower, check. Dressed, check. Etc. Sometimes I also list what I plan to do, then check it off later if I did it or I think well maybe I can do that later or tomorrow. Helps make habits and shows me I can do more then I think I can, or that I did more then I thought I did. Also my mantra is "just do the next indicated step." Ie one step at a time, baby steps, just focus on the next ten minutes, half hour, hour. If there's something I want to do daily, like walk, I have a grid on paper hanging up where I indicate date and how many steps I walked. May not do it every day but it's satisfying to see the list and all the daily (or semi-daily) steps. Good luck. You are doing great :)
posted by soakimbo at 6:14 PM on March 28, 2017 [1 favorite]

I used to have a monster commute that meant I needed to eat my breakfast on a bus. Before I went to bed, I did the following:

1. Made breakfast. Was usually fatfree cottage cheese topped with Trader Joe's Omega nut mix (bought the 10-pack so I never had to measure and to toss into my bag) and/or fresh or frozen fruit.

2. Put out my work clothes for the next day.

3. Packed my laptop bag for the next day.

On the weekends I would cook a big pot of soup (or buy a preroasted chicken or whatever) and just live off of it as long as possible.

My therapist used to tell me that I didn't have to be perfect, and it was okay to slide on stuff that wasn't mission critical. So I did not clean my kitchen more than once a week. And I zoned out on TV after work. And I ate the same decent but boring food over and over because it was the easiest thing to do, and I survived.

One thing that was really useful was riding my bike from the bus stop home after work. Suddenly I had energy when before I had had none. That was a wonderful thing, tho YMMV.

Cut yourself as much slack as you possibly can while still giving yourself what you need most. You are fighting something that's a huge challenge. Love on yourself, ask other folks to love on you, and please hang in there!
posted by Bella Donna at 7:48 PM on March 28, 2017 [4 favorites]

The book Get It Done When You're Depressed is full of helpful ideas.
posted by salvia at 9:03 PM on March 28, 2017 [2 favorites]

This is a slightly stupid hack, but it works for me when I'm having repeated trouble getting moving in the mornings. I go to bed hungry (not hungry enough to keep me awake, just not eating close to bedtime). I make sure to have something crazy delicious already prepped for breakfast. Sometimes this is fruit but I will fully admit that German chocolate cake got me out of bed this morning. Obviously i don't do this all the time, but there's something powerful about starting the day off with a small indulgent kindness to myself. Good luck, be well!
posted by jessicapierce at 11:11 PM on March 28, 2017 [3 favorites]

Frozen vegetables have come a long way recently. Stock up on a bunch of different ones that are the steam in the bag type or the ones with a light sauce or different mixes from the usual peas and carrots kind of thing. Brussels sprouts, if you like them, are particularly good from frozen, imo. Then you can zap some vegetables while you make that quesadilla, or whatever, and it will be way more nutrition and variety with very little additional effort at the time. There are a bunch of mixes with beans in them that will get you good protein, which is what makes you feel full in that satisfied sort of way.

I would also suggest getting a rice cooker if you don't already have one (if you have the budget for it, get one that uses "fuzzy logic" aka a Zojirushi brand one which basically means your rice will be magically perfect even if you screw up the water ratio). You can pretty much put anything on top of rice and it's a meal, and it's really simple to do recipes that are like, rice + frozen veg + cut up chicken breast + curry powder + bullion cube + water, and then you can sit and zone while the rice cooker is doing its thing without worrying about something burning or timing everything right.

Getting out of bed in the morning is a doozy. I've been clinically depressed on and off for my whole life, so I don't really know how normal people get up. Some stuff I have tried, which might have more use to you: Planning out my clothes the night before in such a way that I am actually a bit excited to wear them (I pretty much exclusively wear bright fun things, this might not work for you), getting one of those alarm clocks that slowly glows daylight spectrum in the morning right at my face and also makes annoying bird noises, pretty much always showering at night or in the afternoon (morning shower people boggle my mind), actually training my cat to bother me in the morning by putting his paws on my face, straight up blasting Vivaldi's Four Seasons or Bizet's Carmen (that was an interesting and highly motivated two months).
posted by Mizu at 3:52 AM on March 29, 2017 [2 favorites]

Another super-easy recipe that yields a lot of food: Easy potato soup. It also requires no foo-fooing with it, so it's something you can just put on the stove while you're cleaning, or watching a movie, whatever.

•Make a pot of broth, I use the powder kind. Use about 1.75 as much as they say.
•Dump in vegetables, and/or protein. Potatoes, chicken, corn are my go-to. You can even do a mix bag of frozen veggies if you don't want to cut up potatoes. Throw in some italian seasoning. Wait until everything is cooked
•Dump in 1 packet (or two if a big pot) of country gravy. Stir.

That'll yield you at least a couple meals, and it keeps extremely well. Also, tbh, it's very very tasty.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:44 AM on March 29, 2017

I second the book: Get It Done When You're Depressed. It is full of small cognitive things to counter your depressed thoughts, and it helps you DO something. Its the only thing that's stuck with me over the years, helping me stay productive, however little, while being depressed. I highly recommend that book.
posted by greta_01 at 2:17 PM on March 31, 2017