Normalise my cupcakes

March 22, 2017 4:48 AM

I'm looking for ideas for database/statistics themed baked goods, possibly with a medical research angle. All the 'computer cake' pinterest boards are terrible.

I'm a database programmer moving from one research team to another database/stats team which works across multiple projects at once. I need to make cakes and/or biscuits both for the old team (we're all going our separate ways and are having a goodbye party) and the new team, whom I want to say hi to!

Recipes and/or pictures are great, but if all you have is an idea then I'd like to hear that too.

We're a Microsoft SQL Server-based operation, fwiw.

IDEAS I DON'T WANT:

- Anything to do with the internals of a computer. My colleagues and I basically never look at circuit boards, so there's not much point putting them on a biscuit.

- Anything based on an inaccuracy, however amusing, because I have Problems with pedantry.

- Really boring generic stuff that looks like something a mother who struggles to install printers might make for her computer-obsessed teenager as a gesture of love and support. I am not saying it's a bad thing that this happens, I'm saying it's not what I'm going for on this occasion.

posted by Acheman to Computers & Internet (10 answers total)

What about cookies (biscuits) in the shapes required to represent SQL JOIN statements?

E.g. as per this diagram.

All you need is a circle cutter; the same cutter is used to cut out the non-intersecting parts from the whole circles, so to speak. You could make whole circles, circles missing one edge (excluded) and also the oblong interior intersection piece. People can make their own queries by combining cookies. (You could also frost them in various ways to represent different kinds of data being joined together, or one frosting for the included portion and another for excluded).
posted by tocts at 5:09 AM on March 22, 2017 [8 favorites]

You could do SQL script/query on each cupcake to build a script?

Select * where cupcake = 'delicious'

So that would be six cupcakes, each with its own line.
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 5:13 AM on March 22, 2017 [3 favorites]

Pie chart?

Most any kind of graph can be produced in cake. A bar chart could be made up of cupcake-sized squares.

I suppose that cupcakes could be baked in Petri dishes.
posted by SemiSalt at 5:41 AM on March 22, 2017

maybe build a small database that pairs maybe a few types of frostings with a few types of cupcakes and a few types of toppings, and then have the database fetch random combinations?
posted by dinty_moore at 7:05 AM on March 22, 2017

What about different classical distributions? You could do Gaussian, Poisson, Pareto, etc. - or whatever distributions are most relevant to your work.

Also can we not with the whole "moms aren't good with computers lol" thing. I know loads of dads who couldn't install a printer to save their own life.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 7:15 AM on March 22, 2017 [13 favorites]

Maybe cookies with database tables on them? You could join them with redvines.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:26 AM on March 22, 2017

Use different frosting colors and/or shades (which you can do by progressively adding more food coloring to a white frosting) to make a normal distribution of cupcake colors.
posted by googly at 8:50 AM on March 22, 2017

Following on the distribution idea, I've successfully drawn a Gaussian curve on cookies with writing icing, so this is a simple enough idea to convey (even with my lack of artistic or baking skill).
posted by OrangeVelour at 8:59 AM on March 22, 2017 [1 favorite]

How about boysenberry frosting topped with a swedish fish, so your sweets are in Boyce-Codd normal form?

Torched meringue topping, so you have type varchar? Chocolate coins for smallmoney?

I also like the gaussian gradient of frosting colors, but might be able to think of relevant stats things if you say which type of medical research (comp bio? HIV?).
posted by batter_my_heart at 9:58 AM on March 22, 2017

Most of them are more in the "medical research" category than statistics or SQL, but NotSoHumblePie.blogspot.com had a bunch of science-based cookies and cupcake roundups that might give you some ideas. My favorite are the petri dishes, based on my own background working in a lab, but the whole category is here.
posted by alligatorpear at 10:04 AM on March 23, 2017