Hostess gift when visiting a dying friend - canine edition
March 7, 2017 1:03 PM   Subscribe

We have been invited round to visit friends this weekend who's beloved dog is dying. It's a "who rescued who situation", they don't have children and this dog is their world. We will go round for hugs and cuddles, but I don't want to show up empty-handed. Ideas for what to bring along?

The dog will not die within the next week or two, so taking food like I would for a wake may be a little strange, but taking wine seems a little too much like making the visit a party, which it isn't either.

I have some nice pictures of the dog which I have shared electronically; I'll have one or two printed and take those, but I'm looking for something that says we've loved her and we will miss her too (we've sat for her on many occaisions and she's like an extended part of our family too).

She's a young dog and her illness has progressed agressively over a short amount of time, so it's all rather unexpected.
posted by vignettist to Human Relations (10 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Frame the pictures you had printed and bring that as your gift.
posted by ilovewinter at 1:09 PM on March 7, 2017 [12 favorites]


When our dogs were dying when I was little, we'd always let them have the people food they always wanted, because, what (further) harm would it do? This is probably a check with the owners thing, but maybe bring some tasty treat for the dog that she might not otherwise get.
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:15 PM on March 7, 2017 [3 favorites]


Are there any special treats the dog particularly loves? You could take those to spoil that sweet girl.
posted by praemunire at 1:15 PM on March 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


*dog-appropriate people food. Still don't give the dog chocolate or anything. Our golden retriever's "last meal" was scrambled eggs with cheese and sausage.
posted by Weeping_angel at 1:19 PM on March 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


When my cat was dying, it meant a lot that people cared enough about him as a little being to want to come see HIM and give him pets and talk with me while they did it. He didn't want anything in particular other than quiet love toward the end, anyway, but having people normalize how sad I was, was particularly good.
posted by Medieval Maven at 1:33 PM on March 7, 2017 [13 favorites]


I would honestly suggest food, although I understand that you want to avoid the "for a wake" feeling. But they are tired and stressed and not having to worry about getting a meal on the table is a real gift. Bring something that's easy to stick in the freezer and reheat -- search the tag freezermeals for ideas.
posted by kate blank at 1:55 PM on March 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


Yes, bring a meal, especially if you like cooking. To help it not feel like a "bring casseroles to a funeral" situation, maybe offer to feed them for your visit, i.e. if you're coming in early afternoon, say you're going to bring lunch for everybody, and make a whole crockpot full of stew (for 8-10 servings) and containers to set them up with leftovers. Or if it's not around mealtime and you're really just bringing them a food gift, change the framing - it's not "I know you're so overwhelmed and I wanted to help you in this tough time, so here's [classic casserole dish]" but "I know how much you love [Thai curry], I saw this new recipe and really wanted to share it with you."
posted by aimedwander at 2:04 PM on March 7, 2017


Toward the end my dog got any food she wanted (except things like chocolate of course), so it was a joyous thing when friends visited and brought her HUMAN! ICE! CREAM! It made me feel good that my friends cared about her and it gave me a nice memory of her enjoying the treat.
posted by mcduff at 2:33 PM on March 7, 2017 [1 favorite]


A heated throw? My elderly dog loves hers.
posted by Duffington at 3:14 PM on March 7, 2017 [2 favorites]


My wife loves giving people this book.
posted by 4ster at 6:47 PM on March 8, 2017


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