Rewarding giving
March 6, 2017 6:44 AM   Subscribe

I want to enjoy giving money and create a positive feedback loop.

Volunteering is fun, and I get a nice feeling from working with other people and giving! Donating is needed, though, and I want to encourage myself to give more. But it doesn't feel like much. I want to make myself feel good when I donate so that I do it more!

I have several recurring monthly donations, and I try and give to GoFundMes, etc., for more urgent matters. How do you make yourself feel warm and fuzzy when you give? I don't want anything that puts the burden on the recipient; I want to do it for myself.
posted by quadrilaterals to Grab Bag (15 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
I hate to push back at the premise, but maybe the problem is the expectation of a reward outside of helping the good work get done. If you need those feelings, maybe noodle around their website for images and videos when you donate to see some of the effects. Also, maybe talk with other people about what orgs you support and why - that could provide some of the social good-feeling you're looking for.
posted by Miko at 6:56 AM on March 6, 2017 [3 favorites]


If you're not feeling warm and fuzzy when you give, the problem is either a poor stewardship effort on the part of the nonprofit, or misplaced expectations on your part. Note that GoFundMe is never really giving to a nonprofit. If the feeling stems from thinking your money is going into a black hole, you might get more satisfaction from researching the nonprofits you want to give to (via their 990s on guidestar) to ensure that they use your money effectively.
posted by juniperesque at 7:06 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


Giving to Give Directly and reading their newsfeed, in which recipients tell how the money has helped them (e.g., "I spent my first transfer on building a pit latrine and kitchen because the they were blown by wind. I decided to buy cement, bricks, iron sheets and Bush poles.")

More on Give Directly in this recent NY Times article.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 7:13 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


A little research. Where you live there are small non-profit agencies that are fairly effective because most donations go to help those in need. Often they do not have the big donation drives and are existing hand-to-mouth (so to speak). Find one. The donation will be appreciated.
Many of these organizations exist in a semi-permanent emergency to keep going. They might glom on to you as an angel. They are doing good but, there is always more. You might keep your donations anonymous for that reason.
I believe in these types of organizations. They run on ideals.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:13 AM on March 6, 2017


I donate to a small charity which gives financial & logistical assistance to women who need to travel from Ireland (ROI or NI) to the mainland UK to access abortions. They send out a newsletter every so often with anonymised personal stories about the women that my money went to help directly.

This works for me for a bunch of reasons:

1) It's a very small charity doing something I believe in very strongly (the difference between "how dare you deny this to vulnerable women nearer their own homes you absolute fucks" vs "I guess the rainforest is a good thing to have and I certainly don't want it to get even more shafted but it doesn't move me as much personally")

2) It's a very small charity, so their communications are a lot more personal and blog-like. I'm basically allergic to traditional marketing, especially the emotionally manipulative kind, and a lot of bigger charities use that as their primary communication tool - both to pressure you to donate in the first place and then to pressure you to donate even more once you're on their mailing list. I never feel guilted or harangued or manipulated by this small charity. Even though the situations of the people they work with are (for me) deeply horrifying, they don't rely on manufactured outrage or clickbaity-guilty style communications with their supporters, and I really appreciate that.

3) It's a very small charity, and they're very upfront about where the money goes. I like the fact that my donation isn't getting diluted by the business/marketing costs of a larger organisation, and I like the fact that their updates talk very explicitly about the practical things that the donations get spent on, like travel & accommodation for women who have to come over here.

I would love to find more charities working on things I care a similar amount about with a similar approach, but I haven't yet. The one thing that all the stuff I love about donating to these guys has in common is that it's small charity-related; honestly I think that's what makes the difference for me.
posted by terretu at 7:19 AM on March 6, 2017


When someone I admire dies, I donate $10-20 to a charity they supported in their honor. This might also be an option for you. (This was a post I put together when George Michael died, for example.)
posted by pxe2000 at 7:24 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


I find DonorsChoose to be great for this. There's a short feedback loop between the gift going out and an acknowledgment from the recipient, and often subsequent followups from the teachers. Depending on your preference, you can give hyper-locally (knowing you're helping kids in your community) or exclusively need-based (knowing you're helping extremely high poverty areas), or mix it up (what I do).
posted by nev at 7:26 AM on March 6, 2017


A couple of thoughts. First yes, as suggested above - the premise may need some questioning. You may never feel totally warm and fuzzy about seeing a donation receipt in your inbox! It's sort of an abstract thing to do, and maybe you can't extract fuzziness from it, and that's okay.

That said, there are a few things that might help. DonorsChoose is a great option, and there might be other things like that where you very directly get some sort of feedback or follow-up about what your money is doing.

You might also keep an to the ground for organizations your friends support (with their volunteer time, by doing 5ks to raise money, whatever) and donate to those, to give yourself the added little burst of happiness about doing something that is not just a general good thing, but specifically supports someone you care about in a thing they care about.

Alternate option: Set recurring donations in small enough amounts that you're comfortable setting-and-forgetting them, and then just let them go and forget about them. You may not feel Super Great And Fuzzy about it, but you also don't have to worry about encouraging yourself to give more, because you're already giving exactly what you sat down and decided was good to give. Mission accomplished, you can move on and think about other things. Maybe make a date with yourself once every six months to review your donations and make sure they're still in line with your budget and values.
posted by Stacey at 8:03 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


Make friends with people who work at NPOs and are passionate about their work and interesting to talk to. Then visualize that you are supporting them, the social value they create and acknowledging that they do unbelievably good work while trying to function in offices with 1/4 the resources your average employee at a local nondescript office job does.
posted by crush-onastick at 8:06 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


This may not be to your personal taste, but my circle of people in Chicago (holla at crush^) is pretty vocal about their support of various organizations on social media, etc.

Volunteer? Make a post about it. Write a letter to a member of Congress? Make a post about it. Donate? Make a post about it. See someone else donate and you're inspired to make a donation of your own? Tag them saying thanks for bringing this to my attention and make a post about it. Etc.

Rather than coming off as a humblebrag, it's created a network of people who are involved, separately and together. I've learned about a number of great organizations (Chicago Community Bond Fund, for instance) that I would never have heard of otherwise had my friends not been vocal about the donations they've made.
posted by phunniemee at 8:57 AM on March 6, 2017 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Are you talking about creating a habit loop so that you feel more motivated/positive about making charitable donations? I think that's a good idea! :)

Anyway the treat really depends on what you enjoy! I think I probably would probably set a monthly reminder for when those donations go through, and whenever the alarm goes off, I might give myself 30 minutes of pure happy coffee/daydreaming time. Or take a bubble bath that day.

Or you could have a box of treats (e.g. of unhealthy but yummy snacks) that you unlock only after a donation? These are more sort of.. somatic treats and I find that those work better for reinforcing the neural pathways you need to create a good habit.

If you prefer something more cerebral you could always read about all the good work that those organizations are doing, or watch videos/documentaries about how things are improving? Or perhaps you could read about your own privilege and think about how lucky you are to have the capacity to give back?
posted by Crookshanks_Meow at 9:02 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


How do you make yourself feel warm and fuzzy when you give?

I think the answer here is not having any expectations of feedback.

You give money, having put some thought into the recipients, and you feel good knowing that they are able to further their cause or project. You feel good because you know they will feel good/acknowledged/supported, not because you are expecting something in return.
posted by gyusan at 9:34 AM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Wow, I totally disagree with those who say to just avoid expectations of feedback - personally I think finding ways to create good feedback from things you know you want to do is the best way to make it a habit. It's been a while since I read power of habit, but I'm pretty sure there's some strong science to support that too.

I've been struggling with the same question, giving-wise - I knew I wanted to do it, but it was a little haphazard and I wasn't making it as much of a priority as I wanted to. For me, what's been helping to improve that feedback loop is focusing on adjusting what cues me to give and allowing the feedback to come up more organically. Now, when I read something particularly upsetting (easy to find these days), I purposefully go give money and then read some happy-ending stories from the organization I gave to rather than just reading news articles and mefi threads and stewing. It's a new project for me, but I think it's doing well by my mental health and helping me make giving a more ingrained habit. I hope that helps!
posted by R a c h e l at 1:21 PM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'd like to add a bit. I can see that the warm fuzzies are important, that the idea of creating a "habit loop" is important to people. But I would ask you, if you are relatively new to giving, to critique that mindset. Yes, a lot of people give/volunteer for the good feelings. But, speaking as someone who works in a world fueled by philanthropy, that human weakness - and it is a weakness - is something that leads us very far astray. It's because of the need for warm fuzzies that we have to spend time doing cocktail parties, creating special access opportunities, writing/recording stories, collecting and posting social media about what we do. It's why clinics and schools that don't need unskilled help end up having to devote time, space, training, logistical support and other resources to well-meaning but unskilled people who want to feel "hands-on" about their philanthropy, and be "up close and personal" with the recipients. It's because of the need for good feelings that we have to turn the human beings who are recipients into products for consumption - real people have to become heartwarming stories, smiling pictures, testimonial words. The need for warm fuzzies demands numbers of staff positions in marketing, PR, social media, development, programming, research, publications - and those positions and products then demand more of the consumption of the resources being donated.

I get that this is the way the world works, I participate in it, yet when someone asks how to really give effectively, the answer is to use and to demand as few of these "reward" mechanisms as possible. The answer is to do your research, listen to your heart, and then give with trust and let the skilled and knowledgeable people delivering services do their work. Read the annual reports, especially the dry parts with the numbers and columns, to understand your impact. Sign up for Google Alerts on what the group is doing, maybe. Call the program staff when you have a question or an idea. But this frailty of humans, that we need to feel good about giving, to see our impact, is something that hampers rather than helps charitable efforts. I understand wanting to feel the warm glow of giving out mittens in the cold, but try to develop a critical orientation to that need, which, after all, is much more ego-driven and self-aggrandizing than it is charitable and generous.
posted by Miko at 6:29 PM on March 6, 2017 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: Thanks, everyone. I want to create a personal habit loop, and I don't want to put any expectation on the charity or people I'm giving to. I totally agree with Miko, and my attitude towards promoting donor engagement is skeptical. I want to continue to give, quietly, alone, and without expectations. But I do want to have a personal habit that encourages me to give more and more, and I want to remember and assign internal, personal meaning to that.

I appreciate all the answers.
posted by quadrilaterals at 7:39 AM on March 9, 2017


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