Too depressed to get out of bed

January 9, 2006 3:06 PM

What can I do to change my brain state on waking?

There have been tons of cool questions here on AskMe about waking up and adjusting the body clock, but I don't want to adjust my body clock. I don't want to wake up at the same time every day and go to sleep at the same time every day.. it's just not possible. Besides, I have no problems getting to sleep at all.

The problem is that I wake up with an extremely thick-feeling head and being, perhaps, depressed. I am not depressed usually in waking life, but my brain feels like a different person on waking. I don't want to leave the bed. If I'm forced to (an urgent appointment, say) I'll be in a foul mood for five minutes, and then be fine. But the person I wake up as will rarely want to get up. The time is irrelevant, I can feel the same way after twelve hours of sleep. I routinely get nine to ten hours a night.

I think the problem is that my brain isn't "warmed up" enough on waking. It just feels so thick. Could I, perhaps, put some headphones on and blast some "brainwave changing" sounds or music through to clear the cobwebs away?

Waking up isn't my problem, I tend to wake up after eight or nine hours naturally anyway.. Simply getting my brain into the state where I'll actually get OUT of bed is the problem. What can I do to change my brain state so that I'll feel like getting out of bed? I enjoy my work, I have a (I think) great life, and I'm usually pretty happy most of the day.. so I find this routine feeling rather hard to describe.

posted by wackybrit to health (43 comments total)

Do you drink coffee in the morning, or does the mood go away once you've had coffee? Your description sounds similar to my ex-roommate's morning state, which tended to improve dramatically when he was taking a break from caffeine.
posted by occhiblu at 3:15 PM on January 9, 2006

Also, I find it close to impossible to want to get up unless there's a lot of natural light in the room. I use sheers over my windows for that reason -- I hate sleeping with heavy curtains drawn, making the room like a tomb when I wake up. It leaves me groggy and disoriented and crabby. With sunlight, I'm pretty happy to jump up and get going.
posted by occhiblu at 3:19 PM on January 9, 2006

You could get an alarm clock (that you use even when you don't have to) that wakes you with a noise that makes you feel how you want to feel in the morning -- bird noises might be something that would make you feel light and more awake.
posted by alma at 3:22 PM on January 9, 2006

I don't drink coffee at all (well, okay, a cup every few months). I used to drink coke / soda quite often, but haven fallen out of that habit, although I still have a few glasses a week at least, but never within an hour of waking I'd say. I drink a lot of water. The mood goes away within several minutes of actually getting out of bed.

I am well known for being able to "wake up" very quickly once I get out of bed. A foul mood and bad head for five minutes, and then I can be running out of the door happy as larry. Light doesn't appear to help, but I will try it properly tomorrow.

I may also try throwing on some loud music on the iPod and seeing if blasting that into my ears gets the brain ticking while still laying in bed.. but any sure fire "brain warming" ideas are most appreciated.. I guess it almost feels like the blood flow to my brain isn't running right, and once it does, I'm good to go!
posted by wackybrit at 3:25 PM on January 9, 2006

You may have a sleep disorder, the most likely of which would be obstructive sleep apnea.
posted by neuron at 3:27 PM on January 9, 2006

I have this problem as well.

Once I'm actually out of bed, no problem, life is almost embarrassingly good. But those first few minutes still in bed? I do not want to get out of bed. I dread it.

I've tricked myself out of bed on more than one occassion by telling myself I'll get to eat some delicious breakfast or drink my favorite tea or have good coffee. But after once or twice in a row it feels pretty false and, well, the "delicious breakfast" bit makes for a not so delicious waistline.

All of that to say, I'm interested in useful responses as well!

(I also am quick to cheer right up, it's exactly as wackybrit describes for me as well. It's the actually getting out of bed that's so so dreaded and hard. Once done, hey cool, let's take a shower and read the internet!)
posted by birdie birdington at 3:33 PM on January 9, 2006

When I had to get up and actually do something (working from home has lengthened the morning transitions!), I found that lying in bed and thinking about what I would wear that day, or what I needed to get done, or wanted to get done, or what I had dreamed about, would help wake me up before I had to get out of bed. Maybe stop trying to force yourself into 100% energy immediately upon waking, and be more gentle and forgiving with your pre-energized state?
posted by occhiblu at 3:33 PM on January 9, 2006

I know most people can't detect it themselves, but I don't think it's sleep apnea. I cannot sleep during the day. I cannot nap at all. I'm never drowsy and I tend to want/need to be up at least eighteen hours before I feel really tired.

Basically birdie birdlington is saying the same thing as what I'm feeling. occhiblu may also have a good point..

Back with my findings in the morning if I try anything.. :)
posted by wackybrit at 3:37 PM on January 9, 2006

This is me also. Becoming a father changed it a bit, although I'm still often in a foul mood for a 5-50 minutes after getting out of bed. My child is my alarm clock and she doesn't have a snooze button. If she is in a good mood, that helps put me in a good one.

I think not enough exercise was my key problem when I experienced this behavior prior to having a child.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 3:42 PM on January 9, 2006

Try a multivitamin and some essential oils (flax, fish, borage/evening primrose) at bedtime. Throw in some acetyl l-carnitine and alpha lipoic acid perhaps. I find these give me a lot more energy the next morning if I take them just before going to bed.
posted by kindall at 3:43 PM on January 9, 2006

I think you need a mild transition as occhiblu mentions, or you need something that'll make you get out of bed. Could you set up your computer to act as an alternative alarm clock and blast music you can't stand until you get up and stop it? Or you could have multiple alarm clocks that you have to get out of bed in order to turn off. Another idea: get a cat. They love pouncing on you in the morning until you feed them.
posted by kimota at 3:54 PM on January 9, 2006

I have mitigated some of those feelings with this trick: I have an alarm clock that allows for two alarms, and I set one for the real wakeup time, and one for a half-hour to an hour before that. The early time triggers a CD playing a nice piece of music, and the real time plays a conventional alarm. The way this works for my brain is that the early warning music (which I barely register and immediately shut off) seems to cue my brain to get used to the idea of getting out of bed, so by the time the real alarm goes off, I can hop out. The two different sound cues and the lack of "snoozing" the alarm is what makes this a method -- the option of staying in bed longer via snoozing isn't a factor. I just have a warning and a wake-up time and that's it.
posted by xo at 3:59 PM on January 9, 2006

Your description sounds similar to my ex-roommate's morning state, which tended to improve dramatically when he was taking a break from caffeine.

Hm. Interesting. I was going to suggest caffeine. I find that a nice craving for some coffee is a good enough reason to get out of bed. And the coffee itself really shakes out the cobwebs.

Natural light is good, too. Open those blinds before you go to bed.
posted by scarabic at 4:01 PM on January 9, 2006

I'm not a doctor nor an expert but these sound like the classic signs of depression or at least avoidence behavior.
posted by skallas at 4:03 PM on January 9, 2006

You say you feel "depressed" -- do you mean this literally? Are you actually lying in bed thinking thoughts like "I can't face the world", or are you just talking about a general muzzy feeling?

Do you always go to bed just when you're tired and have run out of things to do? Instead, try stopping yourself in the middle of an interesting project or reading material, and then immediately getting ready for bed. Sometimes having that unanswered question or unsolved problem on your mind can prompt your brain to wake up eagerly.
posted by chrismear at 4:17 PM on January 9, 2006

Put your alarm clock completely across the room. I do this so I don't just hit it and go back to sleep on those really painful days, but in your case it would require you to immediately get up and be up to shut off the alarm clock. I don't think this will completely help you, but might be one of many things you can do to actively change your sleep/wake habits.
posted by cellphone at 4:24 PM on January 9, 2006

If you are willing to try something a bit unusual, I suggest writing "morning pages". This is a writing exercise which consists of writing for 30 minutes right after you wake up. Literally. Not even leaving the bed. Keep a notepaper and a pen next to the bed and start writing as soon as you wake up. Don't stop to think about what you write, and never let your pen stop. Pure stream of consciousness. Doesn't matter what you write, you aren't even supposed to read what you write. (I don't know how many mornings I wrote "I don't know what to write" over and over again.)The idea is to clear your mental fog.

It worked amazingly well for me. Like you, I have a really hard time convincing myself to get out of bed. Unlike you, my grogginess tends to last quite a while after I get out of bed. When I did the morning pages regularly, I found that I had no trouble getting out of bed and was really wide awake and alert throughout the morning. Didn't even need coffee.
posted by luneray at 4:29 PM on January 9, 2006

I don't share this problem but I know I would have a very, very hard time resisting the smell of fresh brewed, freshly ground coffee. So I would buy a coffee grinder and one of those percs that runs off a timer, grind the coffee the night before and set it to start fifteen minutes before the real alarm goes up.

I feel perky just thinking about it!
posted by unSane at 4:42 PM on January 9, 2006

I hate to tell you this but having a regular wakeup time would probably fix this. I was the same as you but now (forced to regulate myself a bit) I usually wake up naturally ready to roll.

If this truly is not practical for you I do have one suggestion. Liquids at night...one sure way to HAVE to get up is to have to go pee.
posted by konolia at 4:51 PM on January 9, 2006

Put your alarm clock completely across the room.

Heh - I put TWO alarm clocks across the room, and I can leap out of bed, flash across the room and hit snooze, and dive back in before the covers settle. It happens so fast that I don't fully wake, and slide right back into what I'm dreaming about.

On the other hand, light coming through the window makes a big difference. I can wake without an alarm if the sun streams in. But, since the sun hasn't been out here for, oh, a couple of months now, I'm having a hell of a time getting up in the morning. Thinking of getting one of these gradual-light "alarm clocks": Soleil; NewDawn; Sunrise.
posted by Tubes at 4:56 PM on January 9, 2006

I saw this link a while ago and really want one. Just too lazy to order, I suppose. Basically, it's a watch with a built-in heart monitor that keeps track of your sleep cycles. You set it with two times: the earliest you'd like to get up and the latest. It waits for you to go into a light sleep before it wakes you. If you're not there by the latest time you set, it wakes you anyway. Sounds kind of cheezy, but the reviews were pretty positive...
posted by richmondparker at 4:59 PM on January 9, 2006

Think about natural light? There are some alarm clocks that fake it, but if you have blinds or something, that can work, too. Some people swear by this, although I can't notice a difference.

Make sure you like the sound your alarm clock makes. I used to have one of the ENH-ENH-ENH ones, and every morning I'd wake up in an absolutely foul mood because of that awful noise. Some alarm clocks make inoffensive beeps; others play birdsong or rain or chimes or anything else you can imagine. Make sure you try the sound before you buy one.

Music may work -- pick stuff that's semi-loud and cheery, but again, not stuff you dislike. I used the Bangles' "Manic Monday" and Katrina & the Waves' "Walkin' on Sunshine" when I had similar problems last year. Admittedly, I have horrible taste in music, but this worked really well for me for awhile.

Now I set two alarms, five minutes apart. The second is a little louder than the first, but it doesn't really matter. Five minutes gives me time to doze, and to get used to the idea of waking me up, but it doesn't quite let me get back into deep sleep.
posted by booksandlibretti at 5:15 PM on January 9, 2006

I think that going to sleep and waking at the same time help your body adjust. Since you can't do that, try waking up to music so that rhythm helps your body want to move or news on the radio to get you riled enough to get up. Music or news should help your brain pick up the pace.
posted by theora55 at 5:26 PM on January 9, 2006

Possibly it's your sinuses. For a long time I used to occasionally wake up in a fog, until I realized that it was due to sinus congestion. It's amazing how congested sinuses can make you feel crappy without even realizing that the sinuses are causing the problem.

The next time you wake up, try to see if you can feel any sinus pressure (pressure behind your nose and under your eyes). It wasn't noticiable to me until I actually tried to detect it. When you awake survey your body to see where it is hurting or uncomfortable.

Sinus problems can be treated many ways, but I'd start with a decongestant. A visit to a doctor (an ENT) could be helpful.
posted by ShooBoo at 5:44 PM on January 9, 2006

This won't be helpful advice, but I figure it's something you'll still be pleased to learn.
The feeling of "not all of brain is awake yet" is real. It's of much greater use in animals other than humans, though.
In the NYTimes a few weeks ago, there was a great article on this that mentioned a wonderful duck experiment. Put your ducks in a row (literally). All the ducks in the middle, with fellow duck on either side, sleep. The ducks on each end sleep with duckward eye closed, dangerward eye open, and half their brain sleeps. Periodically the end ducks get up, turn around, and have one eye+half brain spell the other.
posted by Aknaton at 6:05 PM on January 9, 2006

I have the same sort of problem as you do, and like ShooBoo mine is somewhat related to my sinuses. I have allergies, and when I don't take my Flonase/Clarinex combo it makes it more difficult for me to rise in the mornings, and I am almost always cranky. Another thing that helps me is waking up to music that gets me going, for me it is the Gigantor theme song. Stupid, yes, but I love that damn song.

Water before bed may also help you. I wake up faster if I have to piss, and I find emptying my bladder in the morning very refreshing.
posted by Loto at 6:10 PM on January 9, 2006

I've always made a point of not thinking about ANYTHING during the first sleepy period of the morning. I sometimes get a depressive mood set for some reason just after I've woken, and experience a feeling of doom over everything.

I used to stand in the shower and just think about all the stuff that I had to do, and probably wouldn't get finished today... etc.

So, now I just have a 20 minute embargo on thinking ahead, I just get up, get dressed, eat, and then I'm back to being cheery and dealing with life from a more positive viewpoint.
posted by tomble at 7:40 PM on January 9, 2006

Here is my answer to a sleep question you missed - Help me shake away the morning foggies and become a morning person.

I don't want to wake up at the same time every day and go to sleep at the same time every day.. it's just not possible. Besides, I have no problems getting to sleep at all.

The problem is that I wake up with an extremely thick-feeling head and being, perhaps, depressed.

You will feel better about waking up if you have had enough sleep... Or to put it another way, while your question does sound a little different from past issues, the answers are probably the same. Going to bed at the same time most nights, and getting enough sleep in general, is going to feel better - especially noticeable when waking up, I expect.
posted by Chuckles at 8:33 PM on January 9, 2006

It may also be that you're getting too *much* sleep. Have you tried cutting back to eight hours a night?
posted by occhiblu at 8:41 PM on January 9, 2006

When I get into bed at night I generally feel pretty good, probably because the day is done and I'm bedding down. But when I wake up it's a completely different feeling, one of angst and it doesn't really go away until I take a hot shower and eat something. I find that these two actions seem to be enough to break the mood, but it makes me wonder how I could have gone from such a positive mood at bedtime to such a resistant feeling in the morning. It doesn't even have to be a day with impending deadlines or anything. It just seems to be where my body chemistry ends up after a night of sleep. I usually sleep for seven hours. Maybe it's just age, I'm 46, or maybe it's a slightly depressive response.

Anyway your post got me thinking since a lot of chemical changes take place in the mind during a night's sleep.
posted by gallois at 10:39 PM on January 9, 2006

I second the 1st alarm music/voices (personally mine is on NPR) and 2nd alarm clock 15-30 minutes later conventional annoying "waah, waah" sound. Put #1 alarm on low volume, don't even think about getting up, just listen to the music or news or whatever and lay there, then #2 goes off, across the room this time and I find myself ready to get out of bed.

This is the simplest suggestion. Others include more excercise and better nutrition, but you already knew that, right? Also, waking up next to someone else that you really like is very nice and I am not nearly so depressed when it is the case.
posted by sophist at 12:28 AM on January 10, 2006

I am quite similar in that I don't nap, I sleep deeply, and have a hard time waking up most days. My mental state is greatly affected by the phase of my sleep during which I'm woken up; my alarm going off during deep REM sleep causes me a lot more wake-up pain than at the end of a sleep cycle. I figured out some time ago that my sleep cycle is almost exactly 90 minutes long, so if count forward from the time I go to sleep (say, midnight) in 90 minute increments, I sometimes try to set my alarm to coincide with the end of a cycle (7:30, in this case, or 6 AM). I find it particularly useful if I wake up on my own, say at 5 AM, and want to go back to bed. I re-set the alarm for 90 minutes later (6:30) and I wake up with no problems at all. I've had mixed results (I don't always fall asleep right away, which throws the whole thing off). I'm still experimenting with this, but if you can find a way not to be woken during deep REM (dreaming), I imagine it would help.
posted by Succa at 5:51 AM on January 10, 2006

Also, relaxation exercises while I'm lying in bed vastly improve the quality of my sleep, when I remember to do them. Try tensing each muscle as hard as you can (but not so hard that you strain the muscle) for ten seconds, and releasing. Do for every muscle you can think of.
posted by Succa at 5:53 AM on January 10, 2006

I get this too. One thing that's good but I never stick to for long (too grumpy) is doing some stretches under the duvet. Without having to get out of the cosy cocoon you get the blood and oxygen moving around a little more, which wakes both mind and body and helps to clear the fog.

Also I only really wake up when I've splashed water over my eyes, though I have yet to resort to sleeping in the bath for this purpose.
posted by penguin pie at 6:14 AM on January 10, 2006

I figured out some time ago that my sleep cycle is almost exactly 90 minutes long

Succa, how do you work that out - you sound like you've done it without clever watches etc?
posted by penguin pie at 6:19 AM on January 10, 2006

Succa, how do you work that out - you sound like you've done it without clever watches etc?

No fancy tricks. I am very much a clock-watcher when I sleep. When I would wake up in the middle of the night (I do this frequently), I found the current time to be a multiple of 90 minutes from the time I'd gone to sleep, since I always wake up at the end of a sleep cycle (I don't get nightmares, and I never otherwise wake up while dreaming). Allowing myself to fall back asleep, I'd note the time upon waking up again. This time always ended up being exactly 90 minutes, or a multiple thereof. This is easiest to notice in the early morning on those days where you wake up a couple hours before your alarm goes off. In short, note the last time you remember before falling asleep and the first time you notice upon waking up. If you do this a lot, you'll start to notice patterns.

This doesn't really work if you don't reach deep REM sleep, by the way. This only works on full sleep cycles.

It is a crude method but I've found the 90 minute pattern repeating itself for as long as I can remember. They say the average sleep cycle for most people is around 90 minutes, too, and it seems to be the case for me.
posted by Succa at 7:24 AM on January 10, 2006

Like konolia said, your best bet is to have a regular time that you wake up each day. The force of habit alone is enough to propel you out of bed. If this really isn't a possibility, then your best bet is to simply move around. Consider doing some basic exercises while lying down. Crunches are a common, safe bet. A little jolt of adrenaline is usually enough to get the juices flowing and wake you up fully. Another option: roll out of bed (literally, just let yourself fall over the side) and do some push-ups.
posted by nixerman at 8:52 AM on January 10, 2006

Dropping caffeine had a profound change on my mood when I awake. I used to think that everyone just feels lousy until they get their first cup of the day; I thought that it was just a normal part of life. After a few weeks off caffeine, I noticed a dramatic change in how I felt when I woke up. It's not like I leap out of bed singing, but I spend less time in groggy half-awareness. It's like I'm asleep one minute and almost fully awake the next.

Every once in a while, I have a little dabble into coffee again, and the symptoms return.
posted by squirrel at 10:49 AM on January 10, 2006

Try sleeping less. And although this may not be to your tastes, you could adopt a dog. I find that petting my Schnauzer first thing in the morning is a good transition from the moodiness that sleep sometimes brings into the work of the morning.
posted by macinchik at 12:07 PM on January 10, 2006

Wiggling your toes upon waking might help to change your brain-state. This is according to an employment-ad/pamphlet entitled "How to Care for Your Big, Wonderful High-Performance Brain" that Google Labs was circulating a while ago.

The toe wiggling part is located on the lower left of the pamphlet. Here's an excerpt:

Bigger brains need more warm up time. So before you rise each morning, rouse your little piggies first. Wiggling your toes activates nerves that stimulate your brain and internal organs - helping you become bright-eyed, bushy tailed and ready to show the world just how smart you are.

I give the toe wiggling thing a try whenever it occurs to me. I think it does work to some degree, assuming that "bright-eyed, bushy tailed and ready to show the world just how smart you are" is synonymous with "less groggy."

Unfortunately, the pamphlet doesn't give a reference. I wonder whether anyone's actually researched effects of toe-wiggling on alertness after waking up.
posted by sentient at 6:14 PM on January 10, 2006

That's funny -- after the final relaxation pose in yoga, teachers generally have us wiggle our toes and fingers to "wake up" before sitting up and ending the class. So yoga agrees with you, at least.
posted by occhiblu at 9:55 PM on January 10, 2006

While not offering a solution, this article, summarizing a just-published (today!) paper in the Journal of the American Medical Association, suggests that your problem may be entirely natural and not the result of any particular disorder.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:26 AM on January 11, 2006

New Scientist summary of that same AMA article.
posted by Aknaton at 9:39 AM on January 11, 2006