Wedding gift ideas for a best man to give to his brother

January 8, 2006 7:29 AM

What should my brother and I give our middle brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law as a wedding gift? We're co-best men.

I feel like something off their registry is not that memorable, particularily as a gift from the co-best men. (i.e. Congratulations! Here's a mixing bowl! I know you will cherish it forever and rember us always when you use it.) My brother is thinking of just giving money, which doesn't seem too memorable. And a crystal vase really doesn't seem fitting for us to give them either. Other details: Our budget is probably a few hundred dollars. We are taking care of travel and arrangements for the bachelor party. We are both flying to the wedding. We both are very happy for our brother, the first to get married, and like his fiance very much.

posted by clgregor to shopping (11 comments total)

you're his brothers - he doesn't need an object to cherish and remember you!

get them whatever they need for the new life they're making, which probably means something from the list. that's what they need; they'll remember you whatever.
posted by andrew cooke at 7:38 AM on January 8, 2006

my best friend bought her brother & sister-in-law a case of *really* good champagne, with a card saying something about hoping they never ran out of things to celebrate & promising to replenish the stock on their 10 year anniversary.
posted by judith at 7:51 AM on January 8, 2006

Hmm, I had a much smaller budget but the same issue when my brother and I wanted to get our sister a gift for her wedding. One of the things we did that turned out pretty well...the bride and groom each had two siblings. We found a frame with room for 9 pictures (3x3), and put kid pictures of the 3 siblings on each side. In the middle column there's a picture of his parents, her (our) parents, and in the very middle opening a picture of the new bride and groom on their wedding day. (Yeah, the present was late and they were perfectly okay with that. It's now on their wall and many people have said it's cute.)

Other memorable things that might involve more cash...money for travel? A night at a hotel for a nice weekend getaway? I wouldn't just give them money...make sure it's going somewhere fun and memorable.
posted by jetskiaccidents at 8:05 AM on January 8, 2006

As a veteran of many weddings, I think the best gift any best man can give the happy couple is to act like a civilized human being at their reception and not a junior high kid drinking his first case of lite beer.

Prepare a nice, short toast. Chat with all the guests and ask the wallflowers and the elderly ladies to dance. Don't ogle the bridesmaids too much, or pretend you are John Travolta on the dance floor. Try not to get too drunk and stupid.

I guarantee they will remember your behavior at the reception longer than they will remember what gift you got them.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:23 AM on January 8, 2006

Don't venture off the registry. Presumably the things on it are things that they want and/or need, and by just improvising you're really defeating the whole purpose. Don't be afraid to get something with utilitarian value -- as andrew cooke said above they really don't need any objects or things to remember you.

If you want, get something from the registry and then suppliment it with something personlized, like maybe a mix tape, or a framed photo of some special event or place, or a short camcorder video greeting, etc.
posted by Rhomboid at 9:08 AM on January 8, 2006

my best friend bought her brother & sister-in-law a case of *really* good champagne, with a card saying something about hoping they never ran out of things to celebrate & promising to replenish the stock on their 10 year anniversary.
posted by judith at 7:51 AM PST on January 8 [!]

That's one of the sweetest ideas I've ever heard.
posted by booknerd at 10:01 AM on January 8, 2006

A great wedding gift from my husband's best friend was season tix with great seats to the Alliance Theater here in Atlanta. We had a standing "culchah" (culture) date that forced us out, dressed like civilized people, and that encouraged a nice dinner before or after.

That said, I remember who bought what on our registry, so don't knock that either -- but we love to entertain so our china, silver and crystal actually get used....
posted by mdiskin at 10:19 AM on January 8, 2006

Seriously. A toolkit with the important around the house basics (screwdrivers, wrenches, hammer, measuring tape, razor knife, picture hooks, etc.) and a copy of one of those "how to fix anything around the house" books. I guarantee they will use it, and be awfully glad to have it when they do. Heck, they will probably need it to put together or hang up somebody else's gift.
posted by ilsa at 2:30 PM on January 8, 2006

I gave my brother & sister in law the oldest bottle of Aceto Balsamico Tradizionale I could afford. I figure it this way: Real-deal balsamic vinegar is mostly sweet, a tiny bit sour, and takes a lifetime to make. Kind of like a marriage. (And it's an extravagence they wouldn't buy for themselves)
posted by Triode at 4:38 PM on January 8, 2006

I really like the idea of season tickets to something, but only if you are certain they would both love it. Otherwise, I think the registry is a fine thing to stick to. I was maid of honor for my best friend, and every single gift I bought her was straight off the registry. As worried as I was that the candle holders, candles, picture frames, down pillows and comforter were boring and unmemorable, I still see them in their home 3 years later, and I know they enjoy them. Consider how young they are (my friend was 20) or how much stuff they have to begin with (my friend had next to nothing) when deciding whether or not to go off-registry.

Also, money is definitely memorable, and is probably the most appreciated thing of all.
posted by gatorae at 7:00 AM on January 9, 2006

Follow-up: I comissioned a painting of the couple with a friend of mine who is an artist. It was a big hit!
posted by clgregor at 6:49 AM on February 28, 2006