I'm gonna need some dog treats for this

November 16, 2016 7:20 PM

I am interested in baking some dog treats. Except these treats aren't for dogs, and they're not even really for eating. Instead they're a cosplay prop, and the most important thing is that I can hold them in my mouth as long as possible. Do you know how I might make these?

I'm thinking about cosplaying Doggo from Undertale, who smokes dog treats like cigarettes. Most of the costume seems easy enough, but I would really love to incorporate this element into it, and of course I'm not going to find anything like this in stores. I think what's important here is:

• it's shaped like a dog bone
• it's as long as practical, for best visibility
• it's thin and narrow, like a cigarette
• it's relatively dense, so I can hold it in my mouth for a little while without it falling apart
• one end looks very burnt or even ashen, like it's being smoked (I figure I can just hold it over an open flame for a bit?)
• it's real food, so I don't feel too terrible about having it in my mouth and injesting crumbs

Tasting good is a bonus but not really necessary, as long as it's not too disgusting to hold in my mouth.

I've never baked anything complicated and don't really have a grasp on how different recipes get different results. Do you know a good starting point that would hold up the way I need, in the shape I need? And if you have any suggestions for tackling the finer points here, I'm all ears. Thanks so much in advance.

posted by brett to Food & Drink (12 answers total)

Best answer: Make some gingerbread dog treats! You can either buy a dog bone cookie cutter or craft one to your dimensions by taking pliers to a round cookie cutter!

You'll want a "gingerbread for making gingerbread houses" type recipe instead of a "round gingerbread cookies" type recipe for maximum density/holding togetherness.
posted by asphericalcow at 7:29 PM on November 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Why not use wood or something else that won't disintegrate?
posted by amtho at 7:43 PM on November 16, 2016

Response by poster: amtho: That would hold up better but I figure baked goods would look more authentic (uh, whatever that means in this context).
posted by brett at 7:52 PM on November 16, 2016

Slim jims? Other types of stick jerky?

You could probably craft a lit end and 'stream of smoke' out of a twist of tin foil that you can wrap around the other end of the meat stick. Use a red sharpy or whatever and colour the cap part red.

Or even just a red thumbtack to keep it stuck on.
posted by porpoise at 7:54 PM on November 16, 2016

you could sculpt one out of polymer clay
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 8:17 PM on November 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: If you go the gingerbread route, this recipe is legit af for an indestructible, architecture-grade bake. (Via.)
posted by phunniemee at 8:18 PM on November 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yeah, use clay. Look up making food with polymer and bake to cure. It's non-toxic. Usually you use a toothpick or a little brush for texture. Paint can bring out details. Here's a video for different cookies. Here's one for a dog treat. (I think cookie and cake clay tutorials will be the closest.)

Anything food-like will get mixed with saliva and get slimy or sticky and gross or disintegrate.
posted by Crystalinne at 8:24 PM on November 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

I make mass quantities of these dog treats from King Arthur Flour every year to give as gifts to friends with pets. They're a big hit, and totally edible by anyone. They do contain peanut butter. They are pretty bland (I've eaten a couple), but fully edible and fairly easy to make. Dog bone shape cutter recommended.
posted by anastasiav at 8:31 PM on November 16, 2016

You could try ornament dough. It's usually made with flour, salt and water.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 9:29 PM on November 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Make the end look burned but also glue a tiny bit of red or orange glitter on. When it catches the light it'll seem to be glowing.
posted by Too-Ticky at 1:58 AM on November 17, 2016

Ornament dough Is salty but super durable. And you can paint it with food coloring for best appearance.
posted by Megafly at 4:52 PM on November 17, 2016

Response by poster: Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone. In retrospect, I maybe oversold the "hold it in my mouth" part of this. I want it to hold up for a while, for photos or whatever, but I don't necessarily need it to last all day. I don't think I'd want a prop in my mouth that long even if it was actually possible.

I marked the gingerbread suggestions as "best," because I think they'll give me the best overall results for the costume with the skills and tools I have, but for any future readers, I think they're all good ideas with different trade-offs. Thanks again!
posted by brett at 7:35 PM on November 29, 2016