What can a jew on her own do for sukkot in NYC?
October 15, 2016 2:41 PM Subscribe
I left it to the last minute and now I'm not sure what I should do for Sukkot.
Single female, late 30's without any family in NYC. Grew up pretty secular. I barely know anything about my religion and am only just starting to learn stuff about it. Would like to celebrate sukkot, but not sure how. Any suggestions? I'm pretty open to anything. I know sukkot involves dinner but I don't want to feel uncomfortable at a table full of couples and families while i'm all by myself. :(
Single female, late 30's without any family in NYC. Grew up pretty secular. I barely know anything about my religion and am only just starting to learn stuff about it. Would like to celebrate sukkot, but not sure how. Any suggestions? I'm pretty open to anything. I know sukkot involves dinner but I don't want to feel uncomfortable at a table full of couples and families while i'm all by myself. :(
Shabbat shalom! Let me be honest and say that Sukkot is a little challenging because sukkah real estate is so tight. That said, the good news is that there are many 30something and 40something Jews in Manhattan, myself formerly among them (still 39, now in Ohio), so if you do go to a group meal, there will be a pretty good spread of ages there.
This is kind of late in the day to get a reservation for dinner, but you could try calling/emailing first thing tomorrow morning to see if you can get someone on the line. I wish I could say that you won't be turned away if you show up without a reservation, but on Sukkot, yes, you actually could be turned away because there's just no room. Still worth a try, though. I would consider $36 a good deal for a catered meal, sorry to say.
I only know the Orthodox and traditional conservative scenes, but I can recommend Ramat Orah on 110th and Old Broadway on 125th as "modern orthodox" places where I, personally, would attend a meal if I were in town right now. Ohab Zedek on 95th is also a good idea, but the crowd might skew a little younger. Kehilath Jeshurun is a West Side conservative shul with younger people in it, and I'm assuming they have a sukkah, but I don't know.
If you don't feel up to going to a whole dinner, and/or have a flexible schedule, you can also stop by for the kiddush in the late morning Monday or Tuesday, after holiday services.
Or you could try what I'd probably do...pack your own vegetarian dinner and ask to use the shul sukkah on your own some evening this week. All you have to do is call up the office and say, "hey, can I bring my own food and eat in your sukkah?" I've met interesting people this way.
posted by 8603 at 3:09 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
This is kind of late in the day to get a reservation for dinner, but you could try calling/emailing first thing tomorrow morning to see if you can get someone on the line. I wish I could say that you won't be turned away if you show up without a reservation, but on Sukkot, yes, you actually could be turned away because there's just no room. Still worth a try, though. I would consider $36 a good deal for a catered meal, sorry to say.
I only know the Orthodox and traditional conservative scenes, but I can recommend Ramat Orah on 110th and Old Broadway on 125th as "modern orthodox" places where I, personally, would attend a meal if I were in town right now. Ohab Zedek on 95th is also a good idea, but the crowd might skew a little younger. Kehilath Jeshurun is a West Side conservative shul with younger people in it, and I'm assuming they have a sukkah, but I don't know.
If you don't feel up to going to a whole dinner, and/or have a flexible schedule, you can also stop by for the kiddush in the late morning Monday or Tuesday, after holiday services.
Or you could try what I'd probably do...pack your own vegetarian dinner and ask to use the shul sukkah on your own some evening this week. All you have to do is call up the office and say, "hey, can I bring my own food and eat in your sukkah?" I've met interesting people this way.
posted by 8603 at 3:09 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Hi. Fellow Jew here. Some really easy things:
-- Do you have any kind of situation where you can eat outside at your home? Any kind of yard or balcony? Fire escape or roof? If yes, invite some friends over and eat outside. Bonus points -- buy some branch-type things at a florist and weave them overhead in any decorative manner -- congrats, you've got a freeform modern sukkah.
-- If not, maybe consider going to a restaurant where you can eat outside. Bonus points if you can pick a place which has any kind of garden-style setup, with or without a pergola providing a roof overhead. Or a park! A park would be great!
-- Totally undoable in NYC? Okay, have some people over to your place. It's a mitzvah to welcome guests for Sukkot. Bonus level: decorate your place to make it feel outside-ish -- again, how about some branchy-type decor? Twinkle lights overhead?
-- Sukkot is anti-materialistic. You're supposed to be eating in a temporary shack, so whatever you do it doesn't need to be fancy.
-- This is also a harvest-type festival. Don't have the traditional items (a combination of several branches + a citron)? Okay, how about a lemon and whatever frond-type stuff you can find at your local florist? These various fronds that we traditionally use are a symbol of how there are all kinds of different Jews, but we can all come together no matter our differences.
-- Get a challah and say the hamotzi if you're into that.
-- Things to think/talk about with your friends: affluenza; finding shelter in a harsh world; the nature of gratitude, connection, authenticity, and faith.
Think of it as a religious version of Thanksgiving and that'll get you in the right area.
Lastly, though I was raised Reform, and have basically been nonpracticing/secular, in the last year I've had a very, very good experience with some Orthodox ladies from Aish. You could check the Aish NYC website and see if they have any sukkot events. I don't doubt that they're welcoming any Jewish stranger into their congregation's homes/sukkahs. I've been hugely pleasantly surprised when I've gone to these kinds of things. They totally understand that you're not Orthodox, and as long as you don't show up in like, a crazy sexy outfit that's falling off you they will welcome you just as you are. (Meaning, fine to wear pants, be yourself, not cover your hair if you're married, etc.) If it's not on their website you could still drop an email to their office and they will welcome you. (They won't answer on Saturdays, though.)
posted by BlahLaLa at 3:48 PM on October 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
-- Do you have any kind of situation where you can eat outside at your home? Any kind of yard or balcony? Fire escape or roof? If yes, invite some friends over and eat outside. Bonus points -- buy some branch-type things at a florist and weave them overhead in any decorative manner -- congrats, you've got a freeform modern sukkah.
-- If not, maybe consider going to a restaurant where you can eat outside. Bonus points if you can pick a place which has any kind of garden-style setup, with or without a pergola providing a roof overhead. Or a park! A park would be great!
-- Totally undoable in NYC? Okay, have some people over to your place. It's a mitzvah to welcome guests for Sukkot. Bonus level: decorate your place to make it feel outside-ish -- again, how about some branchy-type decor? Twinkle lights overhead?
-- Sukkot is anti-materialistic. You're supposed to be eating in a temporary shack, so whatever you do it doesn't need to be fancy.
-- This is also a harvest-type festival. Don't have the traditional items (a combination of several branches + a citron)? Okay, how about a lemon and whatever frond-type stuff you can find at your local florist? These various fronds that we traditionally use are a symbol of how there are all kinds of different Jews, but we can all come together no matter our differences.
-- Get a challah and say the hamotzi if you're into that.
-- Things to think/talk about with your friends: affluenza; finding shelter in a harsh world; the nature of gratitude, connection, authenticity, and faith.
Think of it as a religious version of Thanksgiving and that'll get you in the right area.
Lastly, though I was raised Reform, and have basically been nonpracticing/secular, in the last year I've had a very, very good experience with some Orthodox ladies from Aish. You could check the Aish NYC website and see if they have any sukkot events. I don't doubt that they're welcoming any Jewish stranger into their congregation's homes/sukkahs. I've been hugely pleasantly surprised when I've gone to these kinds of things. They totally understand that you're not Orthodox, and as long as you don't show up in like, a crazy sexy outfit that's falling off you they will welcome you just as you are. (Meaning, fine to wear pants, be yourself, not cover your hair if you're married, etc.) If it's not on their website you could still drop an email to their office and they will welcome you. (They won't answer on Saturdays, though.)
posted by BlahLaLa at 3:48 PM on October 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
Maybe you can find a performance by the Sukkos Mob.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:32 PM on October 15, 2016
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:32 PM on October 15, 2016
Where in NYC are you? A lot of synagogues have public meals in their sukkahs because so many people live in apartments with no access -- it's a little late in the game to reserve, but not impossible. You will absolutely not be the only single. I can personally recommend Ohab Zedek (Orthodox) and B'nai Jeshurn (Reform) on the Upper West side, but if you're not near there, there will likely be a place closer to where you are. Chabad is also a good bet, as Jewish outreach is what they specialize in -- they have branches all over town.
posted by Mchelly at 9:01 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 9:01 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
(missed the edit window, but BJ isn't actually Reform - they're unafiliated and skew somewhere between Reform and Conservative)
posted by Mchelly at 9:07 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Mchelly at 9:07 PM on October 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Romemu, which is sort of a lefty activisty Renewal type of place, has a Sukkah and I bet you would be absolutely welcome to just show up. The rabbi there, David Ingber, is just great. Even if it wouldn't be your kind of place otherwise, they're very welcoming and the sukkah is there, on Amsterdam and 105th.
This also kind of seems like a perfect Chabad situation - again, even if it isn't your thing otherwise, they are especially welcoming on Sukkot. Columbia and NYU have nice Chabad spaces, and there is one in midtown as well (although not as welcoming, in my personal experience). There will absolutely be plenty of single people. (Or Aish, as BlahLaLa mentioned above ... Same kind of idea.)
Finally, I tend to use local Hillel sukkot for this purpose. This might be easier in my smaller city of Boston, but Harvard Hillel is very welcoming to people who need a sukkah (although you might need to pay more than the average undergrad).
Sukkot is hard, so this is why places with sukkot tend to be extra understanding!
posted by bookgirl18 at 5:31 AM on October 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
This also kind of seems like a perfect Chabad situation - again, even if it isn't your thing otherwise, they are especially welcoming on Sukkot. Columbia and NYU have nice Chabad spaces, and there is one in midtown as well (although not as welcoming, in my personal experience). There will absolutely be plenty of single people. (Or Aish, as BlahLaLa mentioned above ... Same kind of idea.)
Finally, I tend to use local Hillel sukkot for this purpose. This might be easier in my smaller city of Boston, but Harvard Hillel is very welcoming to people who need a sukkah (although you might need to pay more than the average undergrad).
Sukkot is hard, so this is why places with sukkot tend to be extra understanding!
posted by bookgirl18 at 5:31 AM on October 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
Minor note: Mchelly is correct, the UWS Conservative/Reform shul is B'NAI Jeshurun, not Kehillath Jeshurun, as I incorrectly wrote above.
One more thing that I might personally try is going to hang out after the dinner hour, let's say around 9:30 or 10. Others have mentioned Chabad--yes, there will definitely be after-dinner relaxation happening at Chabad on 91st St. You could pick up a six-pack of unflavored beer (easier than wine, because everyone has their own special take on "kosher" wine) and show up in the later evening. Chabad of the UWS is definitely an all-ages show.
posted by 8603 at 9:42 AM on October 16, 2016
One more thing that I might personally try is going to hang out after the dinner hour, let's say around 9:30 or 10. Others have mentioned Chabad--yes, there will definitely be after-dinner relaxation happening at Chabad on 91st St. You could pick up a six-pack of unflavored beer (easier than wine, because everyone has their own special take on "kosher" wine) and show up in the later evening. Chabad of the UWS is definitely an all-ages show.
posted by 8603 at 9:42 AM on October 16, 2016
OK, so here is one concrete suggestion. The Carlebach shul is still taking reservations online for its Shemini Atzeret dinner, next Sunday night, a week from tonight. Shemini Atzeret is technically a separate holiday that falls right after Sukkot, but some people still eat in the sukkah (and some don't). Even if you don't sit in the sukkah, it should still be a good time. Carlebach was a singer/songwriter, and his movement attracts a relaxed, hippie crowd.
posted by 8603 at 9:48 AM on October 16, 2016
posted by 8603 at 9:48 AM on October 16, 2016
That's a good point - Sukkot is a week-long holiday. If you're just learning, there's no real need to hold yourself to the yom tov - Synagogues and community centers will be open all week - you can come by on Wednesday through Sunday and still get pretty much the full experience, especially if you're not looking for a synagogue service.
Couple more thoughts: The BJ community house on 89th (West End / Broadway) has posted open hours all week for the sukkah on their roof, in addition to the one at the synagogue. Here are sukkah hours for the Manhattan JCC (Amsterdam and 76th) - looks like they are running some interesting programming throughout the week as well. And the 92nd Street Y (East Side) looks like they still have availability for meals on Friday and Saturday. Also I'm pretty sure Chabad is on West 97th Street, not 91st.
posted by Mchelly at 10:58 AM on October 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
Couple more thoughts: The BJ community house on 89th (West End / Broadway) has posted open hours all week for the sukkah on their roof, in addition to the one at the synagogue. Here are sukkah hours for the Manhattan JCC (Amsterdam and 76th) - looks like they are running some interesting programming throughout the week as well. And the 92nd Street Y (East Side) looks like they still have availability for meals on Friday and Saturday. Also I'm pretty sure Chabad is on West 97th Street, not 91st.
posted by Mchelly at 10:58 AM on October 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
I just got this listing for an evening Sukkot event in Brooklyn.
posted by xo at 1:31 PM on October 18, 2016
posted by xo at 1:31 PM on October 18, 2016
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