Please don't walk my dogs
October 12, 2016 5:48 PM Subscribe
How can I tell my new roommate that I don't want her to walk my dogs?
My boyfriend and I live together and have two dogs. One dog was abused as a puppy, so he is very fearful of a lot of things and doesn't like other dogs. He is also scared of most people, but does warm up to people he interacts with frequently. The other dog is a pit bull mix. She loves people, but is pretty selective about other dogs.
We also have a new roommate that moved in at the beginning of the month. I don't know her that well. A couple days ago I heard her talking to my boyfriend downstairs telling him that she was going on a walk and wanted to take one of the dogs. He told her to take the boy dog. However, both dogs were upstairs with me and didn't come down when she called them. So, she left on her walk by herself. After she left I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel comfortable with her taking either dog for a walk.
Today, she and I got home at the same time. She said something like "so, your boyfriend said that I could take the boy dog on a walk." I told her "I don't think you should" and tried to explain to her how it wasn't about her, but that both dogs weren't good walkers. I gave her an example of when someone took boy dog for a walk and boy dog got really scared and almost bit the walker in his bid to get off leash and run away from whatever was freaking him out. My roommate replied by saying "can I at least try?" which I found to be kind of rude. She ended up taking the girl dog for a ten minute walk.
Basically, I don't trust her to walk my dogs. I don't know her. I don't know her experience with dogs. She also doesn't know my dogs very well.
Am I crazy for feeling this way? How can I tell her not to walk my dogs in a way that's nice, but clear. My "I don't think you should" wasn't clear enough.
My boyfriend and I live together and have two dogs. One dog was abused as a puppy, so he is very fearful of a lot of things and doesn't like other dogs. He is also scared of most people, but does warm up to people he interacts with frequently. The other dog is a pit bull mix. She loves people, but is pretty selective about other dogs.
We also have a new roommate that moved in at the beginning of the month. I don't know her that well. A couple days ago I heard her talking to my boyfriend downstairs telling him that she was going on a walk and wanted to take one of the dogs. He told her to take the boy dog. However, both dogs were upstairs with me and didn't come down when she called them. So, she left on her walk by herself. After she left I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel comfortable with her taking either dog for a walk.
Today, she and I got home at the same time. She said something like "so, your boyfriend said that I could take the boy dog on a walk." I told her "I don't think you should" and tried to explain to her how it wasn't about her, but that both dogs weren't good walkers. I gave her an example of when someone took boy dog for a walk and boy dog got really scared and almost bit the walker in his bid to get off leash and run away from whatever was freaking him out. My roommate replied by saying "can I at least try?" which I found to be kind of rude. She ended up taking the girl dog for a ten minute walk.
Basically, I don't trust her to walk my dogs. I don't know her. I don't know her experience with dogs. She also doesn't know my dogs very well.
Am I crazy for feeling this way? How can I tell her not to walk my dogs in a way that's nice, but clear. My "I don't think you should" wasn't clear enough.
"Please don't take my dogs out. I really just do not feel comfortable with them going outside with anyone except me or (boyfriend, if applicable). Thanks." If she pushes it, say "I am legally responsible if they bite someone; that's not a risk I'm willing to take. This isn't negotiable."
posted by The otter lady at 5:54 PM on October 12, 2016 [40 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 5:54 PM on October 12, 2016 [40 favorites]
"Oh, thanks so much for the offer, Karen! Actually, we just prefer to walk them ourselves."
Don't frame this as what she is allowed to do. Just "no thanks!"
Also, please be on the same page with your boyfriend about this, because it sounds like that's what the real issue here distills down to.
For what it's worth, I had a roommate with cats at one point, and she asked me not to feed them. I didn't take it personally at all and just didn't do it. As a pet owner myself I don't understand what the big deal is, here. They're your dogs. They don't come with the apartment.
posted by Sara C. at 5:57 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
Don't frame this as what she is allowed to do. Just "no thanks!"
Also, please be on the same page with your boyfriend about this, because it sounds like that's what the real issue here distills down to.
For what it's worth, I had a roommate with cats at one point, and she asked me not to feed them. I didn't take it personally at all and just didn't do it. As a pet owner myself I don't understand what the big deal is, here. They're your dogs. They don't come with the apartment.
posted by Sara C. at 5:57 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
You aren't crazy for feeling this way, but I don't think she was particularly rude, either. She may have thought she was doing you a favor. Just tell her "that's really kind of you to offer. We don't trust our dogs to walk with other people. Thanks though!"
posted by pintapicasso at 6:04 PM on October 12, 2016 [40 favorites]
posted by pintapicasso at 6:04 PM on October 12, 2016 [40 favorites]
Since she doesn't seem to get it, I would be explicit about a dog acting out and biting someone possibly leading to the dog being put down. And put the leashes in your room or somewhere she shouldn't be, if you can - I can see this devolving into a "but they looked so sad so I just took them out for a minute". You should probably also cover whether she can feed them or give them snacks or let them out in the yard, etc.
Since she seems to like the dogs and shares a house with them, it would be kind to suggest ways she can play with them that are okay, maybe with you present at first.
posted by momus_window at 6:07 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
Since she seems to like the dogs and shares a house with them, it would be kind to suggest ways she can play with them that are okay, maybe with you present at first.
posted by momus_window at 6:07 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
Since you're living with her, and might want to get to know her better, you could possibly invite her to walk with you _and_ one or both dogs. Then you could talk with her and learn about her and her experience with dogs, and also share your experience with her. It would also give you time to explain why lending your dogs out isn't a good idea.
After all, the dogs need time to learn about her, too. They'd need to be just as tuned in to her as they are to you, and the many non-verbal signals that pass between dog and human need to be mutually intelligible. She also needs to know all the possible things to avoid, watch, allow, and not allow. That takes time for both parties to learn.
A dog isn't like a car; no two dogs are alike in likes, fears, experiences, and disposition. There's not a pre-written set of instructions or commands that always works the same for all dogs.
She could also start to get a clue about how you feel toward the dogs (if she's a non-dog-owner, she really might not understand how bad it would be to have anything happen to them or with them). Telling her how you feel is one thing; her seeing how you feel toward them as you interact with them is another. She still might not get it, at least there's a chance you both could understand each other better.
If she's wanting to take the dog for a walk, she might just be lonely or bored. She might also have decided to room with you guys _because_ of the dogs; she might wish she had a dog of her own. Since I'm guessing you'd prefer she didn't, letting her keep company with yours could be really nice.
Also, do your dogs _really_ get too much attention already?
If she is a clueless dog lover, then time you spend with her could be beneficial to any future dogs she has, too.
posted by amtho at 6:09 PM on October 12, 2016 [49 favorites]
After all, the dogs need time to learn about her, too. They'd need to be just as tuned in to her as they are to you, and the many non-verbal signals that pass between dog and human need to be mutually intelligible. She also needs to know all the possible things to avoid, watch, allow, and not allow. That takes time for both parties to learn.
A dog isn't like a car; no two dogs are alike in likes, fears, experiences, and disposition. There's not a pre-written set of instructions or commands that always works the same for all dogs.
She could also start to get a clue about how you feel toward the dogs (if she's a non-dog-owner, she really might not understand how bad it would be to have anything happen to them or with them). Telling her how you feel is one thing; her seeing how you feel toward them as you interact with them is another. She still might not get it, at least there's a chance you both could understand each other better.
If she's wanting to take the dog for a walk, she might just be lonely or bored. She might also have decided to room with you guys _because_ of the dogs; she might wish she had a dog of her own. Since I'm guessing you'd prefer she didn't, letting her keep company with yours could be really nice.
Also, do your dogs _really_ get too much attention already?
If she is a clueless dog lover, then time you spend with her could be beneficial to any future dogs she has, too.
posted by amtho at 6:09 PM on October 12, 2016 [49 favorites]
I would never in a million years allow a virtual stranger--or even the vast majority of my actual friends--walk my precious fur baby.
Everyone thinks the roomie is well intentioned. Um, ok, I guess she could be, but if so, she's also terribly clueless. I don't see her expectation that she should be automatically allowed to walk your dogs as any more reasonable than if she had just moved in and expected to take your small children to the park!! Where is this bizarre sense of entitlement coming from? Why did you let her take the girl dog for a walk at all? Do you care more about being polite to a stranger than the welfare of your dog? Don't let that happen again unless you are totally satisfied that roomie can be trusted with their lives.
You have to protect them, as well as protecting any dogs or humans they are around. All it takes is one negligent act by roomie, and you could lose them forever.
As for how to tell the roomie: The important point is to make her understand this isn't negotiable. I wouldn't be inclined to explain at this point. Because explaining gives an opening for arguing. She can and probably will rebut each of your points. I'd leave it at "the dogs are only walked by my boyfriend and I." Rinse and repeat if necessary.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 6:21 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]
Everyone thinks the roomie is well intentioned. Um, ok, I guess she could be, but if so, she's also terribly clueless. I don't see her expectation that she should be automatically allowed to walk your dogs as any more reasonable than if she had just moved in and expected to take your small children to the park!! Where is this bizarre sense of entitlement coming from? Why did you let her take the girl dog for a walk at all? Do you care more about being polite to a stranger than the welfare of your dog? Don't let that happen again unless you are totally satisfied that roomie can be trusted with their lives.
You have to protect them, as well as protecting any dogs or humans they are around. All it takes is one negligent act by roomie, and you could lose them forever.
As for how to tell the roomie: The important point is to make her understand this isn't negotiable. I wouldn't be inclined to explain at this point. Because explaining gives an opening for arguing. She can and probably will rebut each of your points. I'd leave it at "the dogs are only walked by my boyfriend and I." Rinse and repeat if necessary.
posted by mysterious_stranger at 6:21 PM on October 12, 2016 [3 favorites]
If the problem is that you don't know her or her experience with dogs, then invite her out to walk with you when you walk your dogs, and get to know her/let your dogs get to know her/learn about her experience with dogs.
If the truth is that you just don't want anyone walking your dogs but you, then own that and say so.
Your roommate sounds like a dog person. You have unsocialized/nervous dogs. You get to decide who walks your dogs, but having an extra dog person around who loves your dogs and gives them more exposure is a good thing.
posted by headnsouth at 6:23 PM on October 12, 2016 [23 favorites]
If the truth is that you just don't want anyone walking your dogs but you, then own that and say so.
Your roommate sounds like a dog person. You have unsocialized/nervous dogs. You get to decide who walks your dogs, but having an extra dog person around who loves your dogs and gives them more exposure is a good thing.
posted by headnsouth at 6:23 PM on October 12, 2016 [23 favorites]
"Our dogs are not well trained enough to go on walks without us. They might injure other dogs, the person walking them, or themselves."
I mean, it's the truth, just very extreme. But, it is exactly your concern, so you may as well say it directly.
If your roommate doesn't know enough about dogs generally and how some are problem walkers, then she is NOT the type of person you can trust to walk your dogs safely.
posted by jbenben at 6:46 PM on October 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
I mean, it's the truth, just very extreme. But, it is exactly your concern, so you may as well say it directly.
If your roommate doesn't know enough about dogs generally and how some are problem walkers, then she is NOT the type of person you can trust to walk your dogs safely.
posted by jbenben at 6:46 PM on October 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
Yeah, I would say, "I talked to my boyfriend about it, and I don't feel comfortable with someone besides us walking the dogs. Thanks, though!" I think the "I don't think you should" gives too much room to argue. I don't think she's being rude, especially if the first time she asked she got an affirmative response, but I think you'll need to be more firm. Make sure boyfriend is on the same page, too!
posted by superlibby at 6:56 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by superlibby at 6:56 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
A lot of people just don't understand the sort of things that can happen on a dog walk because they've only experienced easy dogs. I grew up with dogs and walked my friends' easygoing dogs in the city, but was still blindsided when we adopted a dog with issues.
The number one thing I vetted my new roommate for during his interview wasn't dishes or schedule or even friendliness, but whether or not he was listening and respectful when I explained the importance of dog safety. He hasn't even moved in yet, and he already knows about the major dog do's and dont's. If she moved in at the beginning of the month, she should already be up to speed on all this!
So have a dog safety talk! Take her on a walk with you, talk about your pups. Roommates are super awesome to have when you have dogs, ESPECIALLY with difficult dogs, because the dogs can get comfortable with them and it's a lot easier to leave for a day or two and not have to pay for a rando petsitter. Maybe she can only be trusted with small things like letting the dog out to pee in the afternoon, but that's still really helpful!
Your roommate might turn out to be a flake who just can't be trusted with your dogs at all, but it sounds like you haven't truly taken the time to sit down and have Dog 101 with her. I share a Google Doc with every housesitter and dogsitter, and it has tricks, daily routine, and things to know about our pup's behavior. A summarized version is posted on our fridge. It's important that everyone in the house is on the same page (why did your boyfriend say yes to the walk?), because at some point you will be gone and she will need to do a dog-related thing, or she will have friends over who don't know anything about the dog, and you want your dogs to be as safe as possible in that situation.
posted by redsparkler at 6:57 PM on October 12, 2016 [11 favorites]
The number one thing I vetted my new roommate for during his interview wasn't dishes or schedule or even friendliness, but whether or not he was listening and respectful when I explained the importance of dog safety. He hasn't even moved in yet, and he already knows about the major dog do's and dont's. If she moved in at the beginning of the month, she should already be up to speed on all this!
So have a dog safety talk! Take her on a walk with you, talk about your pups. Roommates are super awesome to have when you have dogs, ESPECIALLY with difficult dogs, because the dogs can get comfortable with them and it's a lot easier to leave for a day or two and not have to pay for a rando petsitter. Maybe she can only be trusted with small things like letting the dog out to pee in the afternoon, but that's still really helpful!
Your roommate might turn out to be a flake who just can't be trusted with your dogs at all, but it sounds like you haven't truly taken the time to sit down and have Dog 101 with her. I share a Google Doc with every housesitter and dogsitter, and it has tricks, daily routine, and things to know about our pup's behavior. A summarized version is posted on our fridge. It's important that everyone in the house is on the same page (why did your boyfriend say yes to the walk?), because at some point you will be gone and she will need to do a dog-related thing, or she will have friends over who don't know anything about the dog, and you want your dogs to be as safe as possible in that situation.
posted by redsparkler at 6:57 PM on October 12, 2016 [11 favorites]
I'd go for the "assume this person is well-intentioned and not an asshole" approach because a) you live with this person and b) you've given off mixed messages/didn't set out this apparently Big Deal boundary right out front. I don't think you're crazy, and I don't know your dogs, but this is definitely a conversation that should have been had before she moved in and definitely needs to be had pronto.
posted by sm1tten at 7:05 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by sm1tten at 7:05 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
I actually think you should avoid taking your roommate on a walk with your dogs. If they're well-behaved and chill, she'll take that as a sign that you're overreacting and being unreasonable. Don't give her any evidence that would go against your judgment.
I agree with those who say you should let her know if/how she can interact with or play with the dogs indoors, since that could be a fun diversion for all parties if you're comfortable with it.
posted by delight at 7:06 PM on October 12, 2016
I agree with those who say you should let her know if/how she can interact with or play with the dogs indoors, since that could be a fun diversion for all parties if you're comfortable with it.
posted by delight at 7:06 PM on October 12, 2016
You're entirely right to be careful about who walks anxious dogs like yours. But...you want to have a cordial relationship with this person you're living with. I mean, you do, right? You sound quite generally hostile to her for someone you presumably picked to live with you. If there's some other reason you really want her to keep her distance, fine. But if this really is entirely about making her understand the seriousness of your position, sure, talk to her as suggested above. But also...let her come with you when you walk the dogs! (Unless your extra-anxious dog is so anxious that he has to be watched every second.) Talk to her! Get to know her! Let her see the precautions you have to take. It will be easier for everyone on a day-to-day basis if you two become friendly and the dogs get used to her being around. And there will come a time when you'll be very glad to have someone who can keep an eye on the dogs during an emergency.
posted by praemunire at 7:14 PM on October 12, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 7:14 PM on October 12, 2016 [9 favorites]
As an owner of a small, reactive, sometimes nippy dog, I understand your feelings about wanting to know and trust the person who walks your dogs. I also understand her offering/asking to walk your dogs. She now Iives with them too. First you need to talk to your BF and get on the same page. You will have roommate drama if the two of you disagree and don't communicate. You need to decide what you want. No dog walking, maybe in the future, invite her, don't invite her, whatever it is, be clear when you talk with her. You have already given her some mixed messages so don't be surprised if she is a little confused by how this is all coming down. This is a conversation you should have had during the interview process not after she has already walked one of the dogs. Lesson learned for all of you.
posted by cairnoflore at 8:27 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by cairnoflore at 8:27 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you, everyone! The answers are very helpful. Point taken about my boyfriend and I getting on the same page and also having a dog safety talk with the roommates.
Just to mention that we live in a Central American city, which isn't very safe. I get the feeling that she wants to walk with the dogs because she feels safer. I understand that, but I don't think our dogs are "easy dogs" as someone said upthread. There's just too many things that could go wrong for me to put the dogs' or someone else's safety at risk.
It seems like she likes dogs in general, but doesn't have that much experience with them. We live in a house and have a backyard and she is more than welcome to interact and play with the dogs inside the house or in the backyard.
I'm not really hostile to her. She's been a good roommate so far, but I'm getting the sense that she's an asker and I'm definitely a guesser. So, when she asks those direct questions like "can I walk your dog" or "can you give me a ride here," I find them presumptuous and she probably thinks my answers are wishy-washy.
Thanks again! Photo of the pups
posted by Lingasol at 8:42 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
Just to mention that we live in a Central American city, which isn't very safe. I get the feeling that she wants to walk with the dogs because she feels safer. I understand that, but I don't think our dogs are "easy dogs" as someone said upthread. There's just too many things that could go wrong for me to put the dogs' or someone else's safety at risk.
It seems like she likes dogs in general, but doesn't have that much experience with them. We live in a house and have a backyard and she is more than welcome to interact and play with the dogs inside the house or in the backyard.
I'm not really hostile to her. She's been a good roommate so far, but I'm getting the sense that she's an asker and I'm definitely a guesser. So, when she asks those direct questions like "can I walk your dog" or "can you give me a ride here," I find them presumptuous and she probably thinks my answers are wishy-washy.
Thanks again! Photo of the pups
posted by Lingasol at 8:42 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
I think you've been terribly unclear, especially by letting her argue you into taking the dog for ten minutes. You need to level with her!
Tell her you've realized that you feel deeply uncomfortable with having somebody else walk your dogs. And it's just not gonna happen. Then tell her you'd like her to get to know your dogs, though. And offer to let her play/feed/whatever with them.
posted by Omnomnom at 9:52 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
Tell her you've realized that you feel deeply uncomfortable with having somebody else walk your dogs. And it's just not gonna happen. Then tell her you'd like her to get to know your dogs, though. And offer to let her play/feed/whatever with them.
posted by Omnomnom at 9:52 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
I think you can successfully manage this very nicely by just leveling with her kindly but firmly. Tell her that she is more than welcome to play with the dogs inside the house or backyard, and that you welcome her getting to know the dogs and vice-versa. BUT, explain that walking the dogs is a whole different context that includes a risk of the dogs acting irrationally, and you're unwilling to put her in that position, period. So no, walking the dogs is your exclusive responsibility and you are unlikely to change your mind on that front, but it has nothing to do with her personally.
posted by desuetude at 10:25 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by desuetude at 10:25 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]
As our dog trainer always says, you are your dog's voice. It's up to you to keep them out of situations that could be dangerous or upsetting to them (or could lead to them harming others), and that definitely includes being firm on not letting your roommate walk them. I'd second the advice to keep the leashes out of sight, at least until you're sure you can trust her not to act against your wishes while you're not around. As far as offering to let her come along while you walk the dogs goes, I think that would be a friendly gesture if you want to do so, but I don't think you're obligated, and if her whole intent is to have a "guard" dog with her while she's walking alone it probably won't solve the problem anyway.
You are absolutely not crazy here. Be firm and consistent - your dogs' safety comes first.
Your dogs are adorable, by the way! Can't say I blame your roommate for wanting to walk them =)
posted by DingoMutt at 5:53 AM on October 13, 2016
You are absolutely not crazy here. Be firm and consistent - your dogs' safety comes first.
Your dogs are adorable, by the way! Can't say I blame your roommate for wanting to walk them =)
posted by DingoMutt at 5:53 AM on October 13, 2016
So, when she asks those direct questions like "can I walk your dog" or "can you give me a ride here," I find them presumptuous and she probably thinks my answers are wishy-washy.
I think this is the real issue and you need to use your backbone. "No, sorry, I don't want you walking the dogs." "No, I'm busy, but I hope you can find a ride."
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:10 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
I think this is the real issue and you need to use your backbone. "No, sorry, I don't want you walking the dogs." "No, I'm busy, but I hope you can find a ride."
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:10 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also, would you rather her ask you directly or pussyfoot around it? Because she's actually making it easier for you to say no by asking you directly.
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:11 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:11 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is one of my weirder life problems: Children and adults who've been drinking always want to walk my dogs.
My approach is to START with a firm no. Make it very clear at the outset that the conclusion is firm, and any further explanation is just to illustrate why.
I have one extremely well mannered pit bull looking mutt who is more reliable than most humans, and another, younger, less pitbullish looking dog, who is sweet and usually well mannered but still has a few reactivity issues that people might not notice if they don't live with her. My concern with the first dog is primarily her safety, and with the second, I'm more concerned that she might have a reaction to a dog or even a person acting strangely. She does not like men walking or running directly toward me when we're walking, for example. I don't think people believe me when I tell them because she is so sweet and cuddly and welcoming at home, but out on the streets, attached to someone with a leash, she gets a lot more nervous and a lot more defensive. Even the really well behaved dog, who is a saint and a friend to all living creatures, once got so excited to see a dog friend of hers that she caught me off guard and knocked me over.
I explain that as best I can, depending on how young or drunk the person is, and I also explain that I am legally responsible for anything that happens, and it is not a risk I will take. Because when something happens involving a dog, regardless of circumstances, the dog will often pay with their life. I don't know if it's similar where you are, but while there are no breed restrictions in my area, there is still an undercurrent of breed discrimination. My dogs are much more likely to be blamed if something goes wrong, and they are much more likely to be killed for it. Killed.
In your situation, I might invite her along on some walks with you and one or both dogs, as someone suggested, making it very clear that she is not to walk them alone. And don't tell her this, but maybe, after you've all gotten to know each other better, and after you've seen how she handles weird situations, maybe someday, you'll get comfortable with letting her take them out on her own.
posted by ernielundquist at 8:18 AM on October 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
My approach is to START with a firm no. Make it very clear at the outset that the conclusion is firm, and any further explanation is just to illustrate why.
I have one extremely well mannered pit bull looking mutt who is more reliable than most humans, and another, younger, less pitbullish looking dog, who is sweet and usually well mannered but still has a few reactivity issues that people might not notice if they don't live with her. My concern with the first dog is primarily her safety, and with the second, I'm more concerned that she might have a reaction to a dog or even a person acting strangely. She does not like men walking or running directly toward me when we're walking, for example. I don't think people believe me when I tell them because she is so sweet and cuddly and welcoming at home, but out on the streets, attached to someone with a leash, she gets a lot more nervous and a lot more defensive. Even the really well behaved dog, who is a saint and a friend to all living creatures, once got so excited to see a dog friend of hers that she caught me off guard and knocked me over.
I explain that as best I can, depending on how young or drunk the person is, and I also explain that I am legally responsible for anything that happens, and it is not a risk I will take. Because when something happens involving a dog, regardless of circumstances, the dog will often pay with their life. I don't know if it's similar where you are, but while there are no breed restrictions in my area, there is still an undercurrent of breed discrimination. My dogs are much more likely to be blamed if something goes wrong, and they are much more likely to be killed for it. Killed.
In your situation, I might invite her along on some walks with you and one or both dogs, as someone suggested, making it very clear that she is not to walk them alone. And don't tell her this, but maybe, after you've all gotten to know each other better, and after you've seen how she handles weird situations, maybe someday, you'll get comfortable with letting her take them out on her own.
posted by ernielundquist at 8:18 AM on October 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
You live with her so presumably trust her enough to take care of your house and spend time with the dogs in the house? How about you both take the dog/dogs for a walk together, maybe let her hold the lead and see how the dog reacts with her - teach her (roommate) how to deal with difficult situations and explain to her the issues re other dogs. If it goes badly, you can take over and roommate will understand why it's not such a good idea. If it goes well, perhaps you could reconsider letting her take them (or one of them) out sometimes. After all this could be awfully convenient for you if you're ever sick or busy and unable to walk them yourself...
posted by intensitymultiply at 11:04 AM on October 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by intensitymultiply at 11:04 AM on October 13, 2016 [2 favorites]
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