Waking up raring to go

October 9, 2016 6:02 AM

This school year my kids both have to start school early, so we all have to be up at 6:30am. We're not morning people, and the kids especially walk out the door tired and cranky. How can we start our day feeling positive, upbeat, and energised? Tips please! I'm thinking music choices, activities, or other things you might do to start your day right.

Before you ask...
* We generally get plenty of sleep -- both kids are in bed with lights out by 9:00pm, and the last hour before bed is always relaxing (reading, listening to music).
* Both kids have a full breakfast and usually have their school stuff organised the night before already, so the only things they need to do are dress, eat, personal grooming, make their beds, and get out the door.
* Boy, 13 (almost 14) who will happily get up early on weekends to watch cartoons but hates getting up for school; girl, 11, typically a late sleeper. They both get up with minimal prompting (we still have to get them up though), but drag themselves out the door.

posted by tracicle to Health & Fitness (18 answers total)

I have found that my energy, focus, and mood are a _lot_ better in the morning if I eat a tiny bit as soon as I wake up. I've started keeping a dish of nuts and dried fruit, and sometimes a banana or apple, along with a glass of water near where I sleep. It makes a huge difference when I remember to do it.

The brain runs on glucose.
posted by amtho at 6:28 AM on October 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Factor in everyone's personality to tailor the routine to what they need. For example, there is nothing on earth that makes me wake up happy. I need time to adjust to the world, and am going to be cranky until that happens, and I don't want to deal with human interaction until then. Happy music or activities would only piss me off more! So if anyone in your family is like that, any interventions may backfire.

Some members of the family may be happiest if ignored entirely. No offers of another glass of milk, no reminders to remember homework, etc.; taking full responsibility for getting themselves out the door may be most peaceful and desirable to them.

One thing I can tolerate is interacting with animals. If you have pets, would plopping the dog/cat/whatever in bed with the kid when you wake them up improve their mood? Everyone is different, but for me, that's engaging without needing to think/ talk/ move much, and I get into a better mood more quickly after that.
posted by metasarah at 6:28 AM on October 9, 2016 [13 favorites]

Totally agree with metasarah's need for "time to adjust to the world"!

I too am not now nor ever have been a morning person; the way I work it is, oddly enough, to get up even earlier. Sounds stupid maybe, but I find that having to rush makes the whole morning miserable. Say the actual bed-to-door procedure takes a minimum of half an hour, I give myself at least a full hour, just to build in extra 'waking up' time. Sure, if I pushed I could be out the door in 30 minutes, but it'd be a miserable, forced-march, complaining 30 minutes. Make it an hour, with the first half designed to be 'wasted' on playing with my phone or zoning out to the morning news, and I can face the get-up-and-go time much easier.
posted by easily confused at 6:39 AM on October 9, 2016 [17 favorites]

Yes, some people need time to adjust to being awake and work up to interacting with family and the world at large. It may be counterintuitive but it may be easier for these people to get up half an hr earlier to have time to 'wake up' before leaving the house. And yes, another person here who would find energetic music and cheerfulness very irritating until coffee has had a chance to do its magic.
posted by koahiatamadl at 6:40 AM on October 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

I didn't like waking up early for school when I was a kid either. Similar to easily confused, I've found that I adapt much better to whatever I have to do in the morning by waking up even earlier. At one point I was waking up at 4am for work at 9am. Might have something to do with sending the implicit message that work/school isn't the first thing I need to face upon waking up - I can take my time to do other things before that, and ease myself into the routine slowly.

I also liked waking up or being awake early more if there was something really yummy for breakfast. It might just be me though; good food tends to make me automatically happier.
posted by aielen at 7:40 AM on October 9, 2016

Most people think i'm an early riser, but in reality - i'm the same as mentioned above; i get up early to give my self tons of time before i have to be "human". I'm up at 6 and literally take 3 hours to get up, get dressed, feed the cats, feed me and drive to work. The rest is spent puttering at home, caffeinating, futzing around on my phone (including metafilter!), puttering at the office before I need to be useful, and other non-essentials. I get stressed out if I know I need to get up and do something right away, to the point where i cant sleep and I'm up a couple hours early anyway! If you tried to force cheerful music on me or chores right as i woke up i'd probably strongly consider throwing something...

I also like the above suggestion of pets in the morning if possible. About the only living creatures i can tolerate first thing are my cats -- even when they're being obnoxious and wanting to be fed.
posted by cgg at 8:12 AM on October 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

At ages 11 and 13, my guess is that this is at least partly down to general gripey rebellious preteen type issues. You don't have to be *happy* about getting up at 6:30 AM, which is a completely barbaric time of the morning. Nobody enjoys getting up that early. Especially to go to school. I think "you'll get up at the crack of dawn and like it" is maybe reasonable to expect of kids in the 5-9 range, but older kids want to have some level of emotional autonomy.

Also there is almost no way that your preteen kids are truly going to sleep at 9PM every night. In fact, to be honest, I think they might look a little more alive in the morning if you gave them more age-appropriate bedtimes. (At 11 I was the only kid in my class who still had a 9PM bedtime, which I chafed against and came up with numerous ways to get around; at 13/14 I no longer had a bedtime at all and did a reasonably good job of self-regulating sleep time.)

If enforced morning joy is truly necessary, maybe offer them something they like in return? It's a lot easier for me to get up that early if there's good coffee waiting for me, or if I'm looking forward to listening to an audiobook I'm engrossed in during the drive. Is there some small bribe that can cushion the blow of having to get up so early?
posted by Sara C. at 8:32 AM on October 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

Have you tried changing wake up time to earlier or later? One of my kids did pretty well when she had time to make tea, play with the cat, etc., and another one literally needed to be woken up 15 minutes before the bus and she ran around like a lunatic and relaxed once enroute to school. It could be worth trying.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 8:49 AM on October 9, 2016

Pitcher of water and tall glass by each bed or in bathroom to rehydrate immediately upon waking up.
posted by Elsie at 10:13 AM on October 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

How do they do with transitions in general? Do they leave the house cheerfully when not going to school? My kid, whose 9, isn't great with transitions. He never wants to leave, regardless of where we are or where we're going. If I get him out the door without any yelling, especially for school, I consider that a victory.
posted by lyssabee at 10:55 AM on October 9, 2016

Morning coffee for everyone. For your youngest, it can be all milk with a splash of coffee, your eldest, half/half, but this is how my family deals with waking up at 5AM daily and it works wonders.
posted by corb at 11:33 AM on October 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Personally I find that I need a fair amount of time in the morning to get myself together and face the day; you might try waking up earlier, once your body habituates to it (which should only take a few days, maybe a week) you might find that having the extra time in the morning to prep without stress makes a big difference in your day.
posted by Admiral Viceroy at 1:11 PM on October 9, 2016

I do everything I can the night before, so my (and my kids') mornings are low stress. Backpacks are by the door, lunches packed the night before and stored in the fridge, outfits laid out - these things really help with my morning fogginess.
posted by heathrowga at 4:46 PM on October 9, 2016

In case this is at all useful, eating too close to bedtime is a possible cause of waking up still tired after getting what should be enough sleep.
posted by Otterone at 5:34 PM on October 9, 2016

I started drinking coffee when I was around your son's age. This is one of many reasons that seventh grade was far better than sixth.
posted by yarntheory at 5:58 PM on October 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I used to wake up tired and cranky when I was in high school.

Looking back, some combination of better eating habits and more of a general sense of personal agency would have done the trick.
posted by aniola at 9:54 PM on October 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Ooh, music choices you say?

I have a playlist I made, that is very useful for happy mornings.
posted by greenish at 7:24 AM on October 10, 2016

Maybe tea instead of coffee? Coffee's kind of intense. It also affects the breath more, I think.
posted by amtho at 10:07 AM on October 11, 2016