I want to quit my federal job, but am unsure if it's the right choice.

August 3, 2016 10:24 PM

Should I give up my federal government job? Major snow storm inside.

This was me, several months ago. I ended up taking the GS-11/2 position and relocated to Silicon Valley. I had previously worked in the private sector for 10 years, and this was my first government job.

I left the private sector, because I was really stressed out at the time. I’m a single, mid-thirties female in a non-STEM field, and I thought federal job + job security = less stress, but apparently not. Perhaps it’s because I’m new, but in many ways I find it more stressful, for financial and professional reasons.

My current salary as an 11/2 is $73,000. I have promotion potential to GS-12, but I doubt that would happen right now.

The cost of living here is enormous, and I live in a studio apartment the size of a shoebox. I have noisy neighbors, a noisy AC unit, and constant noise from the street below. In my previous city, I had a glorious 700 sq. foot loft surrounded by thick concrete walls, complete with stainless steel appliances, in-unit washer/dryer, etc. A similar apartment here costs at least $3,000. I drive by one of these complexes every day, and I find it really depressing to know that I will never be able to afford that kind of apartment here.

Which brings me to my job - I can’t stand it. Both my attorneys and the general nature of the federal government drive me crazy on a regular basis. My predecessor had held the position for 20 years, and I basically had to hit the ground running without any orientation. I am in a constant state of being lost and frustrated.

I work for 3 attorneys, Al, Bob and Carter. Al is super busy, always running to or from a meeting. He is very anal, and frequently nitpicks at the wrong issue, or fails to see the forest for the trees. He is a perfectionist, which in this setting is impractical and unrealistic.

Bob is 90 years old. He is extremely batty and forgetful. He is a widow who lives for his work, and he is incredibly sweet, but he has little disregard for our agency procedures. He doesn’t use email. He procrastinates until the last minute, which is very stressful, because none of his filings are ready to go out the door, so I have to do multiple edits under pressure of time.

Carter is former military and not very friendly - at least, not to me. He is very warm and cordial to any female with long hair who wears short skirts, but that’s not me. He rarely speaks to me, and will only help me if it’s in his best interest.

Working with him has been quite hurtful, because I see the way he treats other, prettier women who work in our department. He frequently stops by to chit-chat with them, invites them to go to the cafeteria, and shares snacks with them. He does none of that with me. I am very mousy looking, and could stand to lose 10 pounds, but hey, that’s me. I feel very disillusioned working around him.


TL, DR: I’m unhappy in my home, and unhappy at work. I can tolerate one of these, but not both. I am on 20mg of Prozac, and 5mg of Ambien. I work out regularly (about the only plus factor of living here is the weather), and see a psychiatrist.

The way I see it, these are my options:

1) Leave my federal job ASAP. Screw stupid-ass Carter, and return to the private sector where I can get at least $85k-90k - which means I could save more towards my Leaving Silicon Valley fund. Within a year, I could return to my old city and former way of life in a nice apartment, which I will never, ever again take for granted. The job market for what I do is excellent in SV.

OR

2) Stay put with the government, but break my lease. Keep spinning my wheels with Al, Bob and Carter, but move into a nicer living situation with a housemate. Apply to other federal positions, and pray for a miracle.

Breaking my lease would be the easy part, because I'm next door to all the tech companies. However, since I’m an introvert, moving in with a housemate is much easier said than done. I’ve been living by myself for more than a decade.

Also, given the specialized nature of what I do, there are actually not a lot of possibilities for transferring. I know all of my counterparts at our agency’s other sites, and none of them are remotely close to leaving or retiring. In other words, I could be in limbo for years.

I am not at good at making decisions under duress, which is why I’ve turned to you guys. Just about every one I know is waving a bright red “DON’T LEAVE THE GOVERNMENT!” flag. My dad, who moved into a state job after being self-employed for 30+ years, says he wishes he had done so earlier, and that I will thank myself 20 years from now, when I want to retire. My uncle, who got laid off by his tech employer after 20 years and is now scrounging by as an Uber driver, says I need to count my blessings and stick with it. My former coworkers who are in law firms say they dread every bonus/salary raise announcement, because raises for attorneys = non-attorney staff layoffs.

Meanwhile, every day I go from being miserable in my apartment, to being miserable at work. This is not a good way to live.
I am really torn. If you left the government, why did you do it, and what were the most important factors weighing in your decision? Conversely, if you stayed, what were your reasons? Taking into account that hindsight is always 20/20, do you regret anything about your decision?

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (14 answers total)

DON’T LEAVE THE GOVERNMENT!

So... many of the people who say that are talking about state/local governments. For example I know quite a few tech people who work for state universities -- they make 30-40% less than the private sector, but they have job security, a full pension, and often 12 weeks off a year.

The federal government is different. Their time off and pension policies are nothing to write home about (maybe a tiny bit better than private sector). Job security is good. But the main thing they offer is competitive pay. Unfortunately, their COLA is really not adequate for expensive areas, and you're living in literally the most expensive place in the country right now.

I think you should transfer to a different federal office, in a lower cost of living area. Maybe after a year so you have some precedence in the federal system.
posted by miyabo at 10:40 PM on August 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

I give you permission to leave.

I turned down a government paralegal position about 12 years ago, which I had been offered after coming in on a temporary contract. Head counsel was a right-wing conservative narcoleptic with a raging id, and the other lawyers on the team hated each other and did everything possible to avoid each other. The day before I arrived, someone had thrown a stapler at a door, and that had ushered in a weird era of silence in the department. I liked the work itself and the benefits were so appealing! But the environment was not for me and I had a relationship that was moving to another state. So I left.

So it's now years later. I'm newly disabled and could use the benefits but I don't have one iota of regret for leaving twelve years ago. If you're smart and good at what you do, and diligent enough to save a hunk of money on your own to support your retirement, you will be OK.

Before you go, though, I encourage you to check out listings for other federal positions at other sites in the chance there's a possible lateral move in another location. Just to see. Had I stayed, I was going to try to get to like Guam or something in a year or so, and that would have been an adventure and a way to keep the benefits in a new venue.
posted by mochapickle at 10:47 PM on August 3, 2016 [5 favorites]

So...you probably understand this already, but just in case you don't...you should expect a step promotion about every year or so, plus the COL adjustment. You won't be stuck at $72K forever.

I also wonder a little if you may be so unhappy in your apartment/about your life change that you're seizing on things to be unhappy about at work (I do this myself). Surely your previous paralegal work at a firm doing well enough to pay you a good salary exposed you to plenty of anal and perfectionist attorneys, so it's not like you're going to escape such people by leaving the federal government. It's a little odd that you think you know after a few months what is "unrealistic and impractical" better than people who have been working there for years. And it's especially odd that you're being hurt by one of your superiors flirting with (perceivedly) prettier women. Being worried about possible favoritism, sure, but hurt? You don't actually think your boss should be flirting with you, do you? Like the man said, "A dissatisfied mind...is rarely in want of reasons; they bloom as thick as buttercups in June."

Look, you should stick it out for a year. Otherwise you will look flaky on your resume. And you will thus give yourself a chance to settle in to the new town--after the excitement of the first couple of months wears off, the first year in a new place can be very hard, but later it can get better. Break your lease if need be. Then, if you're still unhappy, you can reevaluate your options. While your work may be specialized, at some level, a paralegal is a paralegal, and, now that you are in the system, it would be worth looking around for federal jobs in more congenial areas that you might fit into with a slight repurposing. If that doesn't pan out in a reasonable frame of time, and you're still not happy, then, sure, go back to the private sector and your old town. There are lots of tradeoffs between public and private sector work, and how people weigh them is extremely individual. But the benefits of working in the federal government are definitely not so great to be worth utter misery. Just take a little time to make sure you really are utterly miserable in the job and not homesick, etc., before you move on.
posted by praemunire at 11:22 PM on August 3, 2016 [6 favorites]

As miyabo suggests, there is a third option, which is to stay with the federal goverment, but find a different job. Get on USAJOBS, and search your job series (90-something?), and find a job that is offering a relocation benefit to a city where you can live well on the pay.

I took a relocation offer from the Corps of Engineers (which offers them a LOT), from Washington, D.C., to Sacramento. There were other positions available in the Bay Area, and I'm a San Francisco native, but on a federal salary, S.F. is too much of a lifestyle sacrifice. I just bought a beautiful house in a great neighborhood, and I'm staying here until retirement.
posted by ereshkigal45 at 11:24 PM on August 3, 2016 [4 favorites]

If I were you, I would start looking for jobs, and consider sticking it out for a year at the current job if you can manage it.

I totally sympathize with your frustrations about your job. If you have low tolerance for bureaucracy and the idiosyncrasies of the people who have been there forever, those things are not going to get better. In my experience, government work involves a lot of shrugging and just accepting things (and people) the way they are.
posted by chickenmagazine at 3:05 AM on August 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

26 year fed here: it's the bird in the hand. The grass is not greener .

If your target grade is 12, what will prevent you from getting it? Doesn't your agreement say after one year in grade with a fully successful performance appraisal you'll be promoted to the 12? There's a nice salary bump, it only gets better. Step increase every year? Maybe a tiny 1.4% COLA? Telework? Flex time? Fitness time? Do whatever you can to stay out of the office as much as possible. In 26 years I've had every kind of shitty supervisor, I'm kind of a catastrophizer but I learned to relax because it always seems untenable and then shit passes. The old dude will retire, former military dude is ambitious and he'll move on, anal dude will keep being anal but you'll run out of fucks to give.

Sort out your living situation, when you have a happy place to go to the shitty workplace won't look so shitty.

It's rare, but people actually do change series and change roles/responsibilities. Contract specialists (what I am) do everything from straight-up purchasing to price analysis to preparing charts to serving as experts on the procurement system. Maybe you can apply and interview for something else you'd be better suited for.
posted by fixedgear at 4:38 AM on August 4, 2016 [7 favorites]

I agree with the advice to stick it out where you are while trying to transfer to another Federal agency. I started at one agency as a GS-7 and hopped around, ending up as a GS-15 (though it took over 10 years). I changed series a few times and applied for details that opened up whole new areas of opportunity.

If you're interested at all in digital government, sign up for GSA's Open Opportunities which will allow you to get experience you can pivot into other roles. As a Fed, you will have preference for Federal jobs above non-Feds, which is big. Like others say, brush up your resume and get on USAJobs.

All that said, it does sound like you're in a crappy situation and that sucks but like others say, there's no guarantee the grass is greener elsewhere. Good luck!
posted by kinsey at 5:07 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you are confident that you're highly employable elsewhere, I'd make the jump. It's better to stay a year but employers also know that working for the government is a different beast and something that some people just aren't cut out for. I was state rather than federal, but I've been massively happier in private industry.

Federal benefits and retirement are nice and all, but so is a cultural fit and being paid a living wage. The federal government is never going to pay a paralegal a competitive wage in Silicon Valley. If private industry allows you to put an extra $10K/year in your 401(k), that'll give you about $1.2 million (in today's dollars) to work with at retirement age. It's not indefinite like a pension but provides for quite a decent lifestyle.

But as others have touched on, how is working for this group different than in private law. Can you make changes to your workflow that will make things more bearable while you try to figure things out?
posted by Candleman at 7:08 AM on August 4, 2016

34 year Fed here, working for the #1 Federal Agency in terms of employee satisfaction, so my views may be biased.

Stay with the Govt, your future self will appreciate it. I'm looking at a comfortable retirement after many years of tons of vacation. Plus, my sick time accrued which came in handy when that pesky heart attack/triple-bypass struck. (3 months off, fully paid, barely dented my accumulated sick pay) Again, I love my job which obviously helps.

Get onto USAJobs and find a lateral. It may take awhile but it will be worth it.
posted by jeporter99 at 7:39 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I should note that while my job is stressful, it was not the cause of my heart attack. 40+ years of cigarettes, beer & pizza did that. The bypass taught me to leave the stress at work...advice to live by.
posted by jeporter99 at 7:42 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

You've only been with this position for a few months? If so, option 2 seems ideal. I didn't feel comfortable in my current job for, what, two years? It took a long time to build trust (I don't work for the gov't, but I work in and around it). It's much easier to force control over your living situation than it is to force control over your employer/coworkers.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 10:28 AM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

You say it's only been several months, so I'd say stick it out for another at least another four to six months and maybe try to change your living situation. Sometimes you've got to prove yourself at work before you're accepted, and though it's obvious you care about your work, it may be that it just hasn't been enough time yet.

If you do decide to move, consider a Legal Analyst job with the State of California. The regular Legal Analyst position pays significantly less than the Federal government to start, but you can promote to (or potentially start at) a Senior position where pay is better.

I'd focus on Sacramento county, as your money will go FAR further there than the Bay Area or LA. We've experienced serious rent increases over the last four years, but except for the very high end, we're generally about half of Silicon Valley rents for similar places. You could easily get the type of apartment your're describing (in the suburbs) for $1,200-$1,300 per month. The State of California is an enormous entity in Sacramento, and it's very easy to move around to different departments once you pass probation. Because the two places are only about two hours apart, you could actually investigate this while staying in your current job.

I've lived in both, and Sac has a LOT more interesting stuff happening than Silicon Valley. (Not San Francisco or Berkeley by any means, but definitely more than Silicon Valley). It's hotter here in the summer, but the weather is otherwise similar.

This would potentially put you in a place with less financial stress, the ability to move around if you don't like where you are, and you don't have to leave government. Good luck!
posted by cnc at 10:38 AM on August 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm a fed paralegal in the Sac area. It's not my favorite city, but it's affordable and livable. Sometimes I like my job all right, sometimes not. At least once a week I check USAJOBS for other government work, searching in a few specific areas. I'm pretty committed to sticking with a federal job, because very few other jobs provide a pension. I think searching for a different Fed job is your best option.

BUT - you won't make it too long if you are unhappy at work AND at home. So while you look for other jobs (which may take a year or two) you've got to make things better at home. Look for other places, and find a cozy pub or cafe to spend some vegging out time until things get better.

When I first relocated for the job I have now, I had to move again six weeks later. The first place wasn't a good situation - I didn't feel at home and was miserable. Moving to a better place helped me deal with the new job and new town.

Wishing you the best of luck!
posted by mulcahy at 9:16 PM on August 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I recently left after 10 years in a much-coveted federal legal position. I regret nothing. If fedlife is really for you and you are geographically flexible, you can go back to a job that's a better fit. I have USAJOBS serve me up results weekly on a very specific search, just in case my dream job opens up. I was surprised to see that the county, where I now work, has better benefits than the feds. That federal security comes at too high a price in SF where you don't like your job. Use your marketability to get something you like that pays better.
posted by *s at 12:43 PM on August 9, 2016